Author Topic: Spoil a wish  (Read 250833 times)

Tusky

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1095 on: October 28, 2019, 02:52:32 PM »
Your lower back ceases to exist. This removes the pain - but causes you to be dead.

I wish that the UK used Central European Standard Time permanently
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Jubal

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1096 on: October 28, 2019, 07:50:07 PM »
This happens, but all parts of the UK are so enraged that they declare independence, even England, until eventually the UK legally only consists of a small group of refugees who successfully claim the old UK Embassy in Vienna, which was already on CEST, as the last remaining sovereign UK territory.

I wish for a nice hug.
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Ierne

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1097 on: November 13, 2019, 12:51:29 AM »
The 30 ft long venomous jellyfish genuinely thinks its giving you a nice hug. It means well.

I wish I could do flips over walls like they all can in batman. I can't even manage a forward roll these days, its very dispiriting.

Jubal

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1098 on: November 13, 2019, 10:30:39 AM »
You get exactly the same athletic ability as everyone in the city of Batman has. Unfortunately, given the people of Batman include numerous elderly and infirm residents, adopting their baseline doesn't actually help you a lot, and the flips over walls you can do require considerable assistance and a very small wall.


I wish I hadn't had to read about fascists so much this week.
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Tusky

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1099 on: November 14, 2019, 01:22:44 PM »
You do not read about fascists at all - meaning you are quite underprepared for the thing you needed to read about them for.

I wish foxes weren't rumoured to be cunning
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Ierne

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1100 on: November 14, 2019, 10:35:07 PM »
Foxes aren't rumoured to be cunning
Thus, the foxes catch you unprepared and without the slightest clue of what you were up against

I wish I could turn off my addiction to Discworld novels during the hours I'm supposed to be working

Jubal

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1101 on: November 15, 2019, 09:33:07 PM »
You can do so. You discover that this has no effect, as there is no cosmic definition of you being supposed to do anything, and you ultimately have free will.


I wish I could spend a week outdoors in which I would be able to not worry about the things that are gnawing at the back of my mind.
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Ierne

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1102 on: November 18, 2019, 07:19:35 PM »
You spend a week outdoors. You do not worry once about the things on your mind. However, you do spend a lot of time worrying about the wolves that keep chasing you around.

I wish that my Dungeons and Dragons players will interact with the Important Plot Related Items in the game.

Tusky

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1103 on: November 19, 2019, 03:12:17 PM »
Your players interact with all of the important plot related items - but in wildly incorrect ways. They talk at length to inanimate objects, tickle weapons and draw pictures of important NPS's. They make no progress at all in your narrative.

I wish that I owned a mug that had a picture of a mallard on the side.
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Ierne

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1104 on: November 19, 2019, 03:40:34 PM »
The picture of a mallard on your mug haunts your nightmares and your every waking moment. You are convinced that it watches you, that it moves. Of course, no one will ever believe you.

I wish people would give up designing impractical fantasy armour.

Jubal

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1105 on: November 19, 2019, 10:52:55 PM »
People give up designing impractical fantasy armour, and spend all their time designing impractical steampunk armour instead and putting it on their fantasy characters. This is not an improvement.

I wish I could take in more of what I read.
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Tusky

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1106 on: November 22, 2019, 09:18:38 AM »
You take in what you read. you also are flooded with details surrounding the writings, such as what the person writing was wearing, the pen they used, there the pen was bought from, the person that sold the pen's name, the cushion the writer was sat on, where that was bought from, and so on and so on.
It is far too much to take on and you need to have a little stress sleep after every sentence.

I wish that I had never heard of Barry McGuigan
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Jubal

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1107 on: November 22, 2019, 09:27:52 PM »
I go back in time and persuade his parents to pick a different name.

You have now heard of Dave McGuigan instead.

I wish for working arms.
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Ierne

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1108 on: November 26, 2019, 11:04:43 PM »
They work, but are entirely independant of your brain. you are unable to prevent your arms from building a nuclear missile and causing the collapse of civillisation. you watch in horror.

I wish that the universe would spontaneously generate reading lists for my research projects, so I could be certain I had read the most important books for the topic, and wasn't needlessly wandering around in the dark.

Tusky

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Re: Spoil a wish
« Reply #1109 on: November 27, 2019, 09:13:00 AM »
It generates reading lists, thousands of them. They are also carved onto colossal granite tablets that fall from a height of 1 km up in the air, landing in random spots near you. So you are able to use them to ensure you have read the best books - but nobody can come near you for fear of being crushed and you can't ever go indoors again.

I wish that I was currently a successful racing driver
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