Exilian
Off-topic and Chatter: The Jolly Boar Inn => General Chatter - The Boozer => Topic started by: Jubal on April 28, 2023, 07:31:47 PM
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A thread for quotes from Exilian pubs, contextlessly :)
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"Do you feel like you've taken a trip to Beavertown?" "I don't know, what does Beavertown taste like?"
and also, "people think too much about what to do when life gives you lemons, and not enough about what happens when death gives you lemons."
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"Is base 10 the entire cause for global warming?"
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also "crawling out of the bathtub like a wyrm" is the title of my rap album
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"I am distraught that you weren't paying attention when I found chicken police."
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"stabbing yourself doesn't, in fact, help"
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I'm kind of cursing that we didn't come up with this earlier (credit I think goes to Spritelady for the idea). Definitely planning to keep this thread going :)
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I am now going to start a movement to genetically engineer future humanity to have 4 digits on each hand, and 4 toes on each foot.
Thus allowing us to naturally count in octal (hands) or hexadecimal (hands and feet).
Therefore both solving global warming (ha), and allowing a far more seamless transition into cyborgs.
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There's got to be some very odd human in the longtermism movement with a ton of money and very little sense who would actually fund that.
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"I'm not averse against Belgium."
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"Discussing the Cambridge bookshop and being dangled out of a window reminded me that I have a specific experience in common with King Charles."
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"I'm not averse against Belgium."
Shortly preceded by "Do you want Belgium? This is how you get Belgium!"
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on James' orders: "You don't need a daddy to drop you on your head."
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"Africa is just a very large dinosaur"
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"Foot curry can't hurt you"
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"Are we being dangled out of a window again?"
"I love bullying." and in the same category: "I portugalin love incels."
"You're grateful. I mean, you're welcome."
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In future, someone should remind me that I cannot in fact deal with that level of chaos with more wine, because I will never be able to consume that much wine.
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'they delivered the food 20 mins early and I was balls deep in a gelatinous cube'
'Being batman is a property passed down through consumption'
'I would accept a scythe as a birthday gift'
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Gelbatinous cube
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"If I worked in a factory, I'd become a cheese villain" - Pinky
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"One of the reasons I'm dwelling on gelatinous cubes so much is that I've just got funding from the government."
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"Russia has an Evil Gherkin"
"tentacle putin is a disconcerting thought"
(if sources want to be named, please say so in this thread)
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"Some people like licking each other, in the right circumstances."
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""I'd love my wife more if she knitted me a straitjacket" - Psyanotek
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Person A: "Did you have to fend off a Russian invasion or defend your civil liberties recently?"
Person B: "No, but I joined a whatsapp group in which people are sending far too many messages and it's stressing me out, and that's almost the same thing."
Person C: "Next you'll have to make a phone call."
"It goes in cycles, but every now and then I just get the urge to go and portugal armadillo up!"
"The pile of sh*t could be sort of ski slope shaped, so it would actually decelerate you. You might get some quite nasty friction burns, but..."
"No, yeah, that could work!"
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"I believe the point at which no pile of armadillo could be big enough is known as the Prigozhin point."
In chat: "imagine laying in an insufficient pile of poop, breathing your last breath, and regretting not spending 40 pounds on that one paper that one time"
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'Gilgamesh' is a hell of a thing to shout during an orgasm
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"My partner said 'I don't think about it very much'. So I started thinking about it more."
"Dings don't give me dopamine "
"You don't have any bi related spam?"
"I don't think many people get into the online drug selling business thinking 'I'm going to pass this down to my children and grandchildren'."
"I stack things on having to pee"
"Just get a pony and wagon - much better for your posture"
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This is in theory commercially confidential, but nyeeeeeeh - anon
"Everybody likes death rays, right?"
"Yeah, I'd build one if I had the money."
"I'm pretty sure I wasn't capable of getting anyone pregnant when I started making dad jokes."
"I really liked those movies - they were like comfortable socks."
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"The youth today they're all on their phones, they don't know how to mug anyone any more."
incongrous helmet
I don't know how to deal well with any additional income coming in
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incongrous helmet
I had forgotten about the incongruous helmet! Thank you for committing it to eternity (or as much of eternity as this forum thread will exist for, which probably isn't a lot, but even so).
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"So what pose would maximise the amount of surface area available at any one time?"
"Probably a starfish hanging from the ceiling?"
"I'm really uncomfortable with the word surface area in this context."
"I just came here to rant about Dutch politics and be sad, and now people are informing me about things."
"It's not the size of the shark that counts, it's what you let it nibble on."
"I sit very neurodivergently, just not bisexually neurodivergently."
"We shouldn't discuss Star Wars if we want to stay friends."
"I don't need more friends!"
"...we could play Monopoly instead?"
"Private Cheese!" *salute*
"It's not hill piracy if you're doing it to your own sheep"
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"They really did the dwarves dirty!" "and we know you like that."
"you're all derailing the conversation." "I think it's just regular railing"
"James is not short, he's just far away sometimes"
and just to give an idea of what the british pronunciation of 'kruidnoten' sounds like to Dutch people, I heard 'crudeknowton' and I thought perhaps it was some obscure english town I didn't know
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Can confirm, I am far away sometimes.
Also, I definitely still want to make the idea of a game NPC who insists they're a Hill Pirate rather than a bandit :)
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"I have a steamed rat" (Possibly misheard)
"I can see the whale!"
"I can't see the whale!"
"What's this about a whale?"
"So on the discussion of Jubal's whale..."
*terrible chess mistake noises*
"This button doesn't take me back because there is no back! What happens with this one, does it take me forward, where even is th-" *disappears from the call*
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"There was a conversation about sword fighting and spears, so I got out the spear shaft I'm whittling"
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"Well one time I told a friend what colour underwear I wear every day for a month."
"Navel combat: man to man, bellybutton to bellybutton"
"Would changing swordplay to spearplay make it less..."
"No."
"It's advertised as a sex game. I disagree."
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"Are farts nonbinary armadillos?"
"They are very much on a spectrum, and possibly also a speculum."
"I am a thorn in the side of the establishment whilst also being part of the establishment - a position that amuses the tits off me."
"If I've genuinely offended you, I..."
"If you haven't offended him, please try harder."
"There's a weird combination of government bloat and Ryan Reynolds involved."
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"And in the tourneys I have no idea - I have a champion, and he gets kicked out sometimes, and there's other people and systems, and the taverns, and I have no idea what's going on at any point -"
"Sounds like your nights out."
"Could you swear in a really soothing way? Like fuuuuuck. Fuuuuuuuuuuck."
"For some reason the phrase banana for scale is making me imagine a banana dragon, with bananas for scales. "
"Orbital Banana Dragon"
"You are literally the washing up to my homework."
"what if you stuff your pants with shipping popcorn?"
The hamster died - which, you know, sad...
They asked me "where can I find a goat" and I asked "dead or alive...?"
"Why do all these millennials think the world is on fire? Everything's fine! Look at this sheep, it's got the best f*cking sheep entrails I've ever seen!"
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"I think that's just the contents of James' parents' freezer."
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Whilst not in a pub context, some people usually attendant at pub were having a discussion this evening in which the phrase "She's not Nietzschian! She just has breasts!" was uttered and it was decided that it was sufficiently spiritually a Pub Out Of Context thing to say that it should be added here as an honorary mention.
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Whilst not in a pub context, some people usually attendant at pub were having a discussion this evening in which the phrase "She's not Nietzschian! She just has breasts!" was uttered and it was decided that it was sufficiently spiritually a Pub Out Of Context thing to say that it should be added here as an honorary mention.
Nietzschian Nietzschian or the Kevin Sorbo series (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andromeda_(TV_series)) Nietzschian with bone blades and a bodacious femme-bodied AI avatar?
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I assumed the former because I didn't know the latter existed, but now you mention it that's a much more plausible explanation for the thing that was being reacted to.
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"Then swallow at the right moment, which may or may not be a skill you have" - Jen
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"There are no ethical capercailies under capitalism. There are also no ethical capercailies under any other system. Capercailies have no concept of ethics."
"I am remarkably stable. I contain many ponies."
"Warning, this film contains adult content. Someone will be doing DIY."
"Oh no."
"I need to make some money, but if I say whatever it takes in this company I'll only get in trouble."
"Have you considered trebuchet based food delivery?"
"I see London, I see France, I can see your underpants"
"Where would you need to be to see all those things at the same time?"
"They're having discipline problems on the International Space Station."
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"Babe are you ok? you've barely touched your high velocity projectile snack food."
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"[Scotland] is less of a region and more of an armpit."
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"I very much like tyranny and I'm very sad we won't get more tyranny."