Art, Writing, and Learning: The Clerisy Quarter > Stories and AARs

Birth of a Lich

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ahuggingsam:
Hiya folks. This is a story I've been working on for the past two months or so. I know where I want the story to got but haven't figured out yet how to make it move in that direction. So far it's mostly setup, but I do like the vibe I'm building so far. I'll try and remember to keep it up to date as I work on it. Happy to hear what you think.

Even though the sun was on its way down to the horizon, its light was still bright and piercing. Piercing Lilith's eyes particularly. She rode about a pole behind her two knights, proper and respectful, just as she liked things. The paladin's immaculately polished armour shone like a beacon in the sunlight, only obscured by their perfectly white capes.

While she understood the symbolism behind the attire, she never really could reconsider the importance of that with the inordinate amount of time she had to spend washing to keep them that way. Even though someday she would have her own squire to help with the upkeep, she couldn't help but think there was a time and a place for spectacle, and out and about in the mud and dirt trying to do what paladins are supposed to do in the world was not it.

When she noticed that the knights were slowing down she slowed down as well. They came to a halt next to a small forest consisting of old pine trees. The smell reminded her of the pine forest next to her old homestead and water-bearing in the dead of winter from the nearby creek. Eventually, her Direct motioned for her to approach.

"Yes m'lord?" she asked.

"We will make camp here as we are approaching Vespers. Tie and feed the horses, then see if you can find water, sir Godfried and I will make camp."

"Yes m'lord," she said with a slight bow and dismounted, taking the reins of his horse as he dismounted too.
"Come Ester, Amos, Ira" she whispered to the horses as she led them to the tree range. She had always had a knack for animal handling, and the horses followed her diligently.

After she had tied and fed the horses, she walked off into the forest, listening intently for the sound of running water, all of their sac skins slung over her back. Luckily she found a small creek without much effort. After filling the sacks she washed her face with the icy water and sated her thirst. After a long day of riding the refreshment was more than welcome. She drew a small wayward glyph on a nearby tree, in case the paladins wanted to bathe. Even though the water felt colder than winter's breath itself, she did not know her new lords well enough to be certain that they wouldn't want to.

A silence came over them as they sat around the campfire, each lost in thought as they consumed their rations.
"Squire," her Direct said, "'tis time for Evensong. Do us the honour."
"Do you have a preference for a particular psalm my lord?"
The Direct briefly looked at the higher, who just shrugged dismissively.
"Whatever you think is appropriate," he concluded.

After some consideration, she chose "laudationem ad vesperam", one of her favourites. It was not a popular one, but she knew it well. It incorporated grief for the dying day, as well as a plea for protection from the serephea until Sol would rise again. It had always felt comforting to her. Especially as she wasn't sure yet what they had set out to do, a plea for protection and promise of the return of her god seemed appropriate.

"That's not one of the more well-known psalms, yet you carried it well. Have you been studying the psalms?" her Direct asked.
"Yes, m'lord. Though this is one of my personal favourites. Mother oft sang it to me and my siblings, it always helps me feel closer to Sol even when I cannot see him."
The higher raised his eyebrows.
"Is that so?"
"Yes m'lord," she said. Which is mostly was. Her mother had often sung it to her and her siblings, and it was one of her favourites as it made her feel protected and comforted. The bit about it helping her come closer to Sol was mostly exaggerated. Though she felt as though it ought to be true. Even if she could never quite tell what "coming closer to Sol" actually meant. At the very least it was the sort of language she knew the paladins and clergy liked to hear. So she sprinkled some of it in whenever she got the opportunity to and hoped and prayed that it would become true if she just kept repeating it.

"Squire." The voice of the Higher sounded solid and stout as a castle wall. She looked up towards the man, his eyes unyielding like a predator and that pale skin, loved so by the church.
"Yes, m'lord?"
"It is time we told you the purpose of our journey."
She sat up even straighter than normal, which was quite the feat since her posture was usually impeccable, to begin with.
"We are journeying to the Glassburrough cave system. Though thought long abandoned the locals have been complaining of howling wraiths of late. They are scared a necromancer has taken refuge in the cave systems. We are to go and investigate and put their minds at ease."
"I gather that you do not expect to find actual wraiths or necromancers there my lord?"
"Of course not, I'm sure the autumn wind has stirred up their plebian fears. Though as you know, cave systems can be treacherous, so we would do well to be careful nonetheless. We will be in formation during our exploration, if nothing else this should be a good first expedition for you. Now, have you mastered the first and second glyph circles?"
"Of course my lord."
"So says many a squire and yet I oft find their knowledge lacking. Recite them for me."
"Cantation or root form my lord?"
Though she told herself it was impossible to know, she thought she detected a hint of surprise in his features when she asked him that. Perhaps a faint flair of approval?
"Cantation." Of course, he had chosen the much more elaborate traditional form that was not often used anymore just to make it harder on her, but she was ready for it. She started to sing, making sure to annunciate properly even when going over the more elaborate story parts that were not actually magically useful.
When she was done, the Higher nodded.
"At least you have adequate knowledge of the basics." That was quite an understatement. She had recited everything perfectly, from the pronunciation to the tiny details and she knew it. She figured he was not one to give praise so easily but she thought she might have earned a little of his respect then, even if it was ever so small.

Next morn they set off early. En lieu of going to see the townfolk that had requested their help, the Higher insisted they go straight towards the caves. Lilith did not like this plan and she could see that her Direct didn't either, but neither of them felt brave enough to protest.

 When they neared the entrance of the cave system, after having tied the horses, the knights stood by the opening and looked at her expectantly. After Lilith froze for a few moments, not knowing what to do, her Direct coughed and motioned her towards the entrance.
"Up front squire, in enclosed spaces, we walk in arrowhead formation."
Hesitantly she approached the entrance to what seemed to her the primordial void, as the knights took up a position at both her rear flanks. After a moment she felt the gauntlet of her Direct on her left shoulder.
"Cast Iji," he whispered with some compassion, "You light the way, we will protect you if necessary."
And thus Lilith entered the cave system, a ball of light gently dancing in her palm, two paladin knights trailing behind her, and an ominous knot forming in the pit of her stomach.

Jubal:
I like it! Would love to see more, and sorry it's taken a week for me to actually get time to sit down and read it :) The world-building is really good, and I like the chant/musical nature to the sort of paladin-magic that seems to be going on. The use of prayer time markings like vespers also works really well for the paladins.

Some pernickety thoughts, mostly proofreading-level:

* You have "The paladin's immaculately polished armour shone like a beacon in the sunlight, only obscured by their perfectly white capes." I think it should be "The paladins' immaculately..." for the plural?
* I think the sentence "It was not a popular one, but she knew it well." jarred a bit for me given that you had the Direct provide exactly the same information a moment later.
* The term plebian tends to make my brain think of an urban premodern lower class (plebian agitators in ancient Rome etc), and I don't know if that's what you're going for here rather than e.g. peasantry?
* This is maybe a personal taste thing, but I think you could at times use more punctuation within the speech sections to make the flow more natural or emphasise pauses better. So for example I've have written "Up front, squire: in enclosed spaces, we walk in arrowhead formation." which gives the slightly heavier pause before the explanation, and the natural (at least to me) mini-pause one has before giving someone a term of address.
These are very minor things though, I really enjoyed it and hope you get time to write more :)

ahuggingsam:
Hey folks, it's been a while. Despite the lack of posting I have actually been working on this quite a bit. I have moved it forward, though currently I'm feeling rather stuck. I know the major moments I want to go through and I'm happy with the vibes/notes I'm hitting so far, but I'm having some issue with the pacing. Currently there is very little connecting the major moments in the story, which bothers me a bit. To me it feels like the pacing is off a bit. I'm hoping to create some more time and space for the scenes to breath in between without dragging it out, or adding tons of unnecessary exposition. I'm hoping that posting here (and perhaps reading any replies) will help get me a bit more unstuck. I have actually edited the part I already posted a fair but so for the sake of continuity I'll post it again below. However for the sake of respecting folk's time, I'll post it in two sections so people who want to skip to the new part can. The first section will be the part that I posted above but the current edit thereof, and the second post will be the new part. Would love to hear what people are thinking! Thanks and stay safe out there <3

ahuggingsam:
Even though the sun was on its way down to the horizon, its light was still bright and piercing. Particularly piercing to Lilith's eyes as she rode about a pole behind her two knights. The paladins' immaculately polished armour shone like a beckon in the sunlight, only obscured by their perfectly white capes. While she understood the symbolism behind the attire, she could never really reconcile the importance of that with the inordinate amount of time she had to spend washing to keep them that way. Even though someday she would have her own squire to help with the upkeep, she couldn't help but think there was a time and a place for spectacle. Whatever that time was, out and about in the mud and dirt trying to do what paladins are supposed to do in the world was not it.

When she noticed that the knights were slowing down she slowed down as well, making sure to keep proper distance. They came to a halt next to a small forest consisting of old pine trees. The smell reminded her of the pine forest next to her old homestead. Briefly, her mind wandered back to that familiar place, and how her siblings would be preparing for winter. The Direct motioned for her to approach.

"Yes m'lord?" she asked.

"We will make camp here as we are approaching Vespers. Tie and feed the horses, then see if you can find water, the Higher and I will make camp."

"Yes m'lord," she said with a slight bow and dismounted, taking the reins of his horse as he did the same.
"Come Ester, Amos, Ira" she whispered to the horses as she led them to the tree range and tied their reins to a nearby branch. She had always had a knack for animal handling, and the horses followed her without protest. Ester even snorted and pressed her warm nose into Lilith's face, making the her giggle.

After Lilith had fed the horses, she walked off into the forest, listening intently for the sound of running water. Luckily she found a small creek without much effort. After filling the sacks she washed her face and assuaged her thirst with water that felt colder than winter's breath. After a long day of riding the refreshment was more than welcome, even if it stung a bit.

She looked up at the gradually darkening sky, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. For a moment everything melted away and she became one with the sounds of nature. The small creek below, the rustling of the pines in the wind, the tiny movements of birds around her moving about the canopy. Lilith drank in the serenity as she had the water each quenching a thirst within her. She drew a small wayward glyph on a nearby tree before she turned to return to camp. Perhaps either of the knights would wish to do the same.

A silence had come over them as they sat around the campfire, consuming their rations.
"Squire," her Direct said eventually, "'tis time for Evensong. Do us the honour."
"Do you have a preference for a particular psalm my lord?"
The Direct briefly looked at the Higher, who just shrugged.
"Whatever you think is appropriate," he concluded.

After some consideration, she chose "Laudationis diem", one of her favourites. It incorporated both grief for the dying day as well as a plea for protection from the serephea until Sol would rise again. It had always felt comforting to her. Especially as she wasn't sure yet what they had set out to do, a plea for protection and promise of the return of her god seemed appropriate.

"That's not one of the more well-known psalms, yet you carried it well," the Direct remarked, "have you been studying the Psalms?"
"Yes, m'lord. Though this is one of my personal favourites. Mother oft sang it to me and my siblings. It always helps me feel closer to Sol, even when I cannot see him."
"Is that so?" The Higher asked, focusing his intense gaze on her.
"Yes m'lord," she said with a nod. Which is mostly was. Her mother had often sung it to her and her siblings, and it was one of her favourites as it made her feel protected and comforted. The bit about it helping her come closer to Sol was mostly exaggerated. Though she felt as though it ought to be true. Even if she could never quite tell what "coming closer to Sol" actually meant. She just knew it was the sort of language the paladins and clergy liked to hear, so she used it whenever she got the opportunity. She hoped that it would become true if she just kept saying it, though she would never admit that to anyone.

"Squire," the voice of the Higher sounded stout and solid as a castle wall. She met his unyielding blue eyes briefly before becoming overwhelmed by his gaze which felt almost predator-like to her.
"Yes, m'lord?"
"It is time we told you the purpose of our journey."
Upon hearing that, she sat up even straighter than normal, which was quite the feat since her posture was usually impeccable, to begin with.
"We are journeying to the Glassburrough cave system. Though thought long abandoned, the locals have been complaining of howling wraiths of late. They are scared a necromancer has taken refuge in the cave systems. We are to go and investigate and put their minds at ease."
"I gather that you do not expect to find actual wraiths or necromancers there my lord?"
"Of course not," he huffed, "I'm sure the autumn wind has stirred up their peasant fears. However, cave systems can be treacherous, so we would do well to be careful nonetheless. If nothing else this should be a good first expedition for you. Now, have you mastered the first and second glyph circles?"
"Of course, my lord."
"So says many a squire and yet I oft find their knowledge lacking. Recite them for me."
"Root or cantation form my lord?"
Though she told herself it was impossible to know, she thought she detected a hint of surprise in his features when she asked him that. Perhaps a faint flair of approval?
"Cantation."
Of course, he had chosen the much more elaborate traditional form just to make it harder on her, but she was ready for it. She started to sing, making sure to annunciate properly even when going over the more elaborate story parts that were not magically useful.
When she was done, the Higher gave a short grunt of approval.
"At least you have adequate knowledge of the basics." That was quite the understatement and Lilith knew it. She had heard he was not one to give praise so easily, as indeed few of the order were. However, she did think she might have earned a little of his respect then, even if it was ever so small.

Next morn they rode again early. Instead of going to see the townfolk that had requested their help, the Higher insisted they go straight towards the caves. Lilith did not like this plan and she could see that her Direct didn't either, but neither of them felt brave enough to protest. When they neared the entrance the knights stood by the opening and looked at her expectantly. Lilith froze, not knowing what to do. Her Direct coughed and motioned her towards the entrance.
"Up front squire: in enclosed spaces, we walk in arrowhead formation."
Hesitantly, she approached the entrance of what seemed to her a primordial void, as the knights took up position at both her rear flanks. After a moment she felt the gauntlet of the Direct on her shoulder.
"Cast Iji," he whispered with some compassion, "you light the way, we will protect and direct you as necessary."
She took a deep breath and whispered the spell on the exhale as if breathing life into the ball of light that sprang into her palm.
And thus, at the Higher's cue, Lilith entered the cave system, cradling the small source of light in her hands, two paladin knights trailing behind her, and an ominous knot forming in the pit of her stomach.

ahuggingsam:

The cave air was wet and motionless. Lilith wasn't quite sure what she'd expected, but especially the lack of any air movement was making her feel on edge. As they walked deeper into the cave the light from the entrance gradually faded, leaving her ball of light to seem evermore fragile in the face of such dense darkness. All around them teethlike stalactites and stalagmites reached towards each other, giving one the impression they were walking into the maw of a giant beast.

With every step, the anxiety in Lilith's gut increased. She focused on her breathing as best she could, trying to anchor herself with a mantra as they did during prayers sometimes. "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell," she repeated in her mind over and over. It did not help much, despite her best effort. She could almost feel the thoughts in her mind swarming through her skull like an angry hornet's nest, violently disturbed.

"My lord?" she asked eventually without turning around.
"What is it squire?" the higher replied in an irritated tone.
"What are we looking for?"
"An empty cave," He said wryly. 
"Surely we're not just going to... wander around until we find nothing? How can we be sure there is indeed nothing neferious going on?"
"That is not for you to worry about squire, I will decide that."
"I know that my lord, I simply seek to understand..." she said, but he cut her off.
"You do not need to understand anything squire. All that is required of you is that you follow orders. All will be made clear to you in due time as befits your station."
"My lord, surely..." the Direct tried to interject but Lilith could practically feel the look the Higher gave him behind her.
A loose rock shifted under Lilith's weight as she walked and gave way, causing her to lose ballance. However, before she chould fall a hand reached out from behind her and gripped her shoulder tightly, steadying her but offering little comfort. She turned around to see the Higher's expressionless face, staring directly into her own.
"All you need to do, is follow orders, and I will make sure everything will go as it should. Can you do that squire, can you follow orders?"
Feeling too intimidated to speak, Lilith simply nodded.
"Good," he concluded.

"Hang on," the Direct said behind her soft and curious, "what's this?"
While the Higher directed his attention toward the Direct, something at the edge Lilith's circle of light caught her eye. It seemed to her like the silhouette of a woman, but almost translucent. Behind her, she could hear the knights move about. Though part of her was insistent that she should return to them, there was an unfamiliar pull in her that she could not resist. Lilith took a few hesitant steps in the direction of the figure, who seemed to be shaking somewhat, a voice echoing through the cave so, to faint for Lilith to understand.

"H-hello?" she said in a voice barely louder than a whisper.  She could hear the knights mumble behind her but felt her almost unwillingly direct all her attention towards the figure.
Soon, she realised that the figure was silently sobbing. She took another step.
"A-are you okay?"
Another few steps.
"They t-took h-him" the figure sobbed quietly.
"Squire?" she heard from behind, but the voice seemed faint and far away, as if it was but a mere echo from another life. One more step.

A terrible shriek erupted from the direction of the figure. It turned around and stared Lilith directly in the eyes with a more intense rage than Lilith had ever seen in her life.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?" it screamed with what sounded like a thousand voices at once. The apparition stretched its hands towards Lilith and flew towards her, hair billowing behind it as if submerged in an invisible liquid.
 
Before she could properly react to the wraith's attack, her Direct stepped past her, magic light streaming from his eyes and mouth, his face contorted with rage. "AURATH" he shouted, as a ray of white light shot out of his outstretched palm hitting the wraith between the eyes. Even as the wraith disintegrated the screams seemed to keep echoing long after the apparition had disappeared.

It had been over before Lilith realized what had happened. As she collapsed onto her knees and hands, both the light from her spell and that of the Direct's faded rapidly, leaving them in perfect darkness.

"Squire?" The Direct asked after some time.
"P-present m'lord," Lilith croaked into the floor without moving.
The Direct sighed. "There is something very wrong here."

"That was a swift reaction Wulfred, well done," The Higher said resolutely and clasped him on the shoulder. "You, however," and Lilith didn't need to see to feel his scornful gaze to know it was there, "should be more careful, and remember your training. Next time, wait for us instead of just wandering off."

She could hear the Direct shuffle around in the darkness, then the sound of a gauntlet softly landing on padded armour.
"Let us continue, m'lord." the Direct said in a soothing tone.
in response, the Higher exhaled sharply through his nose but did not respond beyond that.

After gathering up her willpower, Lilith dragged herself to her feet and once again whispered the ball of light into life. Before assuming formation again, she turned herself towards her Direct. "What was it you found m'lord?"

"Look," the Direct said while he held up a short, elaborately decorated dagger. Lilith stared at it.
"What's it doing here?" she wondered aloud.
"Someone must have dropped it..." the Direct muttred, lost in thought. 
Lilith studdied the blade again.
"It's obviously a ceremonial blade, though I don't recognise the inscriptions."
"It's a sacraficial dagger," the Higher said wryly, "Perhaps someone who fancies themself a necromancer is running around these caves after all. Though why here? That's the only bit I don't understand."

And then it hit Lilith where she'd heard the name Glassburrough before. "Because we're at the crossroad between two major ley lines."
The Direct's face instantly lost all colour. "Oh no..." he mumbled.
"Do you think," he asked hesitantly, turning towards the Higher.
"Araketh, it has to be."
Lilith couldn't help but wonder what life someone must have lived that would lead them to try to summon the goddess of chaos. She didn't imagine it could have been a pleasant one.

"I think we should turn back and find reinforcements. Clearly, we don't know what we're walking into," the Direct said with determination.
"No," the Higher's face was as stoic as his voice, "If there really is someone practicing the dark arts running around We can't let them just run around unopposed. Surely two experienced paladins can handle a single clumsy necromancer. We must see this through to the end."
Lilith looks at the Direct's face, showering it for any emotion, but she found none.
"As you wish my lord," was all he said in the end.

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