A silly game, similar to "on a llama farm" - pick a random nearby book, write the first sentence out, then put "And then the murders began..." as the second sentence to see what the result is!
I'll start:
In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit. And then the murders began...
Thinking about it, this is way too accurate...
Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. And then the murders began...
A rather obvious cosmic-level one:
QuoteIn the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. And then the murders began.
^that one is indeed brilliant!! ;D
Look, I didn't want to be a halfblood. And then the murders began...
One that works all too well is 1984:
QuoteIt was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. And then the murders began.
The Towers of Trebizond, starting with more of an action scene than usual:
Quote"Take my camel, dear," said my Aunt Dot, as she climbed down from this animal on her return from High Mass. And then the murders began.
And of course Kafka's Metamorphosis... is basically still just Kafka, because adding anything to surrealism just makes it as surreal as it was before.
QuoteAs Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into an enormous insect. And then the murders began.
QuoteTwo households both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge rise to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. And then the murders did begin...
To start by quoting Iain Banks:
"It was the day my grandmother exploded. And then the murders began..."
From the book I am currently reading (and the result is not too far off):
QuoteIn the false dawn a warm wind blew out of the east, shaking the dry reed cases. And then the murders began...
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. And then the murders began...
QuoteWe started our family business with good food and good health at its heart. And then the murders began.
"This supplement was originally published for the d20 system in 2002 by Troll Print Games. And then the murders began."
QuoteThis book is the product of a truly joint effort of its four authours. And then the murders began...
In a village in La Mancha, the name of which I purposefully omit, there lived not long ago one of those gentlemen who keep a lance upon a rack, an old buckler, a lean horse, and a greyhound for coursing. And then the murders began.
The background for Ohio's greatness was woven by hardy frontiersmen, whose struggles for freedom turned a trackless wilderness into a land rich in resources, education, farming and industry. And then the murders began.
This one works well:
"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buenia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. And then the murders began."
(Gabriel Garcia Marquez - 100 Years of Solitude)
Here is Edward bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin. And then the murders began.
I'm pretty sure that that desecration of Winnie-the-pooh gets you an instantaneous ticket to muffin hell. That is, nonetheless, somewhat brilliant.
Also this one works:
The book you now hold in your hands went through a number of iterations before it, and the ideas in it, began to grow into something book-shaped. And then the murders began.
(The opening to the game studies volume "Playing with the Past".)
Philology reigned as king of the sciences, the pride of the first great modern universities- those that grew up in Germany in the eighteenth and earlier nineteenth centuries. And then the murders began.
(Touches up the edge on his pocket knife while whistling "Die Dreigroschenoper")
There was Eru, the One, who in Arda is called Ilúvatar; and he made first the Ainur, the Holy Ones, that were the offspring of his thought, and they were with him before aught else was made. And then the murders began.
QuoteThere was Eru, the One, who in Arda is called Ilúvatar; and he made first the Ainur, the Holy Ones, that were the offspring of his thought, and they were with him before aught else was made. And then the murders began.
That it, that's the Silmarillon. The rest of the book is just minor details really :)
And another:
For thousands of years, until the XVth century, the Mediterranean, surrounded by its three continents, was the cradle of peoples, empires and civilisations, which occupied, dominated and fashioned it. And then the murders began.- Carthage: A Site of Cultural and Natural Interest, by Abdelmajid Ennabli
"What is fashion?" In November 1993, marketing consultant Estelle Ellis posed this "deceivingly simple question" in a speech at the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT) in New York.
And then the murders began.
Sounds like par for the course at an academic conference, yes :)
Three books on my recently read or to read lists:
"The Alchemist picked up a book that someone in the caravan had bought. And then the murders began."
"Some said it was the fault of the horse, which went lame just as he tried to escape. And then the murders began."
"When the Moon rose in the Third Northern Hall I went to the Ninth Vestibule to witness the joining of three Tides. And then the murders began."
We appear not to have this one yet...
When Mr . Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton. And then the murders began.
"In the doorway of the temple of Ra at Memphis. Deep gloom. And then the murders began."
When Mary Lennox was sent to Misselthwaite Manor to live with her uncle everybody said she was the most disagreeable-looking child ever seen.
And then the murders began.
"In 2002, the Katholikos-Patriarch of All Georgia, Ilia II inaugurated a foundation that he named the 'Society of Iveria'. And then the murders began."
(Nikoloz Aleksidze, Sanctity, Gender and Authority in Medieval Caucasia)
Eighteenth-century France witnessed a dramatic rise in the consumption of clothing, particularly in Paris and other cities.
And then the murders began.
(First sentence of the chapter I'm currently reading, in Clare Haru Crowston - Fabricating Women. The Seamstresses of Old Regime France, 1675-1791)
'All these will I give you,' said Satan, showing Jesus the kingdoms of the world, 'if you will fall down and worship me.' And then the murders began.
(Tom Holland, Millennium)
"One dark and rainy evening the Moomin family sat around the verandah table picking over the day's mushroom harvest. And then the murders began."
- The Invisible Child, by Tove Jansson