Exilian

Art, Writing, and Learning: The Clerisy Quarter => Writing, Poems, AARs, and Stories - The Storyteller's Hall => Poetry and Artistic Writing => Topic started by: kaleidoscopicmind on May 23, 2012, 07:44:42 PM

Title: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on May 23, 2012, 07:44:42 PM
Ambition

Immeasurable, is that which
falls. Upon many a plane,
a grain of sand to represent,
what I never had but lost.

There is a shadow that forms,
The smoke around my head.
The absence of thought,
of word, try as it might.

For the hand I touch,
does not feel, does not tremble.
For the viscous haze I hold,
does not protect, does not soothe.

Invariable. It shall deign to be,
All that light cannot surpass.
A stream condensed, but still.
It will burst, and seep away,
lost.
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on May 23, 2012, 10:03:22 PM
Blink

Uncontrollable. They Storm.
Gathering together again, they sigh.
Such a tedious affair to be had
But they hug each other goodbye.

Collecting under familiar terms
all filled with the same despair.
None ready for the expedition
Though they've had time to prepare.

Seldom will they live to see
the beauty that lies below,
To become attached is forbidden
for one day he will say no.

They pour to the border
All grief racked and stricken.
Some take the leap of faith
They crowd begins to thicken.

Rolling down to caress
the unknown takes shape,
their life etched, scars form.
No one will reach the nape.

Their paths are swiped away
Brushed with the back of a hand.
Their presence will be remembered,
for as long as he can stand.

Holding his broken faith
the boy still wonders why.
He vows to show no weakness.
So no one sees him cry.
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on June 01, 2012, 02:12:44 PM
Really good. Another one with talent to add to the list of Exilian members. ;)
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on June 06, 2012, 11:09:51 PM
Too kind :P Thank you, in response I shall post another :)
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on June 06, 2012, 11:38:54 PM
As am I

If I were to blanch, to stutter
avert my eyes, fidget. Mutter
Would you tell me I was true?

When I fall and break, crumple
under the weight of conformity
Would you tell me that I'm different?

As I lie and wait, sit and pace
hopes and dreams under bare feet,
Will you care to tread with love?

Stark and bold my hand rests
upon something untouchable,
upon something unreachable
but still, I hold the improbable.

When pushed and pulled my
Edges will fray, give way.
Unwind and unravel.
The threads of my life.

Impressions leave no mark
on me, silence leaves no
dark within me. Patience
can not comfort me.

But as I carve history into your
face, trace sorrow along your
path and draw fate on your
hand. You laugh at me.

It rings lound and hard,
impermeable and lost.
It is laughter nonetheless,
filling the space of
memories without cost.
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on June 07, 2012, 08:44:01 AM
Awesome, just some constructive criticism, I think where it says "When I fall and break, crumple" it should be reworded somehow. Other than that, PLEASE POST MORE! ;D
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on June 11, 2012, 09:26:56 PM
I actually love constructive criticism THANK YOU! I always strive to improve :D
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on June 16, 2012, 12:23:10 PM
And you really have. (I think, I haven't seen any of your work before this so I really wouldn't know :P)
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on June 19, 2012, 05:46:52 PM
The Promise of Light

A cloying heat spreads
from apex to sentiment,
weaving, breathing, in and
outisde the shape sculpted
forms a lie of comfort. A
mask wrought of iron intent.

Alas, the colours bleed in
the face of reason, blinding.
Beauty begins to invade the
mindful Creature's haven, where,
before no footprints have dared remain.
Only faint smudges of regret.

Eyes close, mind open,
a path paves its way through
doubt and insecurity. Through
Weakness and war. And for an
Insignificant moment, be still,
And bask in mutuality.
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on June 19, 2012, 10:20:07 PM
Good! Hey, I actually almost forgot you are a girl. :D
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on June 19, 2012, 10:31:44 PM
You, my dear, are a fiend :P
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on June 19, 2012, 10:52:10 PM
:( How? Or did you just forget to put the "r" in "fiend"?
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on June 19, 2012, 10:58:42 PM
Haha, well played :P You insinuated that because you thought my poetry was actually ok you forgot I was a girl,
which leads me to believe you think only boys are good poets! See my logic :P
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on June 20, 2012, 07:00:09 AM
No, it was a completely separate statement.
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on June 20, 2012, 10:13:26 PM
Well then I'm sorry and 'friend' it shall remain.
But yes, I'm a girl :P Hence the paranoid logic ;)
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on June 21, 2012, 08:47:18 AM
LOL, well it's good to have another girl here other than Ladyhawk. Especially one of your talent... for a girl. ;) (Just joking!)
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on June 22, 2012, 09:33:00 PM
Honestly, thanks for taking the time to read them! Talent is a strong word for my writing :P
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on June 22, 2012, 09:38:14 PM
Hope

What is love to me,
if not an ideal of fools?
Such unthinkable joys
Based on manogamous rules.

What is love to me,
except a trivial persuit?
A clandestine farce,
a realistic dilute?

What is love to me,
but an ambitious lie?
Superficial declarations,
Made with lust in their eyes.

What is love to me,
when I know only cold?
Demeaning my life
because I have no one to hold.
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on June 23, 2012, 02:24:02 AM
:) I love this one, my favorite of yours so far. I have been thinking of writing a poem along these lines for a while but now it's done for me. ;D Good work.
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on July 01, 2012, 04:19:54 PM
Haha, thanks :P I shall make note to write even more depressing poems!
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 02, 2012, 06:57:39 AM
LOL!! Not too many, I like the happy ones too. :P
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Andalus on July 12, 2012, 02:56:55 PM
Good stuff. You have great control over your style. :)

I particularly like Ambition. Conveys a familiar notion very well.
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on July 12, 2012, 10:03:33 PM
Is cynicism a style? xD Thanks, I love it when people actually understand and relate to my poetry :)
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 13, 2012, 08:37:45 AM
A complement by the Andalus himself. Nice! ;)
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on July 13, 2012, 04:09:20 PM
I better get writing to claim more praise :P
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 18, 2012, 09:57:11 AM
I can't wait for more. ;D
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on March 08, 2013, 10:20:48 PM
I'm a terrible human being and haven't written anything in ages :( Here is the fruit of my last half hour!
It's a competition piece so any comments would be greatly appreciated, the commas are a little annoying but
it's meant to imitate the sea which was the theme we had to write on. Sorry if it's just annoying xD

Tempestuous

The moon of contention,
enigmatic that is true
is brightening you, pleasantly
And you upon your surface
Smile and irresolutely shine back,
But, the depths are too
insecure, too dark, too cold.
Keep moving, you reassure
Dispel the discomfort to be,
monotonous, a lull of,
amiability.

The moon of indifference
casts, spares a hope for
you, me, we, can seethe
Easy the charismatic pull.
An acknowledgement at best.
A silent argument, dispute
Refute. Augmentation of
Wills and you spill
your frustrations upon me
Spittle and foam and
Anguish.

The moon of retribution
Usurps the right of
expression, your broiling mass
of stagnant dreams, tranquillity,
A piece of mind afloat, adrift.
Your howls quieten, listen
entreat  me to understand .
Meekly you crawl, lag, drag
Your atonement lapping
at my wounds, wearing
Time and sand.

Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on April 27, 2013, 08:50:45 AM
You're back! How awesome! And that poem is quite nice. You're good... for a girl. ;D
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Jubal on April 27, 2013, 11:02:05 AM
Which one would presume is the same as "good", there being no structural or functional difference in capacity to write poetry between the sexes?  :P
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on December 02, 2013, 11:12:18 PM
I just wanted to say that the the poem won (yay) free oxford book of verse for me! And I'm getting the poetry award at my speech day haha, uni is hectic but I'm going to make an effort to post :)
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 03, 2013, 07:57:50 AM
:o You're here! Awesome! Please stay! :D
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Pentagathus on December 03, 2013, 09:08:04 AM
Or don't.
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: Jubal on December 03, 2013, 11:43:42 AM
Yay, well done! Good to see you again.  :)
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: comrade_general on December 03, 2013, 12:39:54 PM
Qapla'! :)
Title: Re: kaleidoscopicmind's Poetry
Post by: kaleidoscopicmind on January 23, 2014, 01:27:20 AM
Took me a while to get anything down on paper, everything I tried just evaporated as soon as the ink hit xD
Finally some progress, so here we are. All comments and criticisms welcome/needed :)

Day's Notice

One shallow sunken sun
That tails the sallow earth,
once it has begun to revolve
to turn and look and avoid
Seek seeds of dreams in
a shadowed nook or floor as
It hurts my eyes, your un- thought words
 they beam and sting my sensitive covering
of dirt.

Carefully arranged, oh so artful in
dusting, if you scatter enough the light might
Touch, brush, ignite
one, two, maybe three qualities.
But we won't be changed nor
cracked under fierce, scathing heat
of a glance
So full of oblivious consent.

I will continue to avert in the case
of a drought of your
presence, slowly, carefully scatter
a dusting of careless nature and
Obstinate regret in the line my
silhouette makes whilst you
set.

And the end comes quickly
in a blow of striking night
As my fears are confirmed and the
dawn does not return.