Exilian
Off-topic and Chatter: The Jolly Boar Inn => General Chatter - The Boozer => Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! => Topic started by: Cuddly Khan on December 10, 2012, 07:52:49 PM
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Every user posts one addition to the city (or upgrade).
One addition per post please.
I'll start:
A Town Hall is built in a clearing.
+can include systems of governing, taxes, and such+
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A Shrine to Jubal is built on a small rise next to the Town Hall.
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A few houses and huts are build for the general population.
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A well is built outside the Town Hall to give clean water.
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A gargantuan statue is built depicting Pentagathus standing on top of a slain dragon's neck with his mighty spear thrust into its head (not a euphanism.) The statue is actually hollow and can serve as a small fortress.
Edit: Unfortunately most of the population are required to work on the statue so the local economy crashes due to a lack of labour. On the flip side the mighty Pentagathus gives his blessing to the statue which can now spout dragonfire at enemies.
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A public outhouse is built next to the statute.
The stench is unbearable.
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Pentagathus is mightily angered and declares the latrine and its users to be an enemy of the Wilbulnubnibs. As a result the statue roars flame at the latrine, incinariting it and its current occupants. The resultant smell is utterly rosey.
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The smell of roasted turd attracts an enormous amount of turd/flesh eating insects.
All hell brakes loose.
The population is decimated.
Survivors curse the day the statue was built.
They also fear toilets.
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Whilst I know it's a cliche, boy... that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
The population's leaders realise martial law might be needed in future. Sentry boxes appear at the corners of all remaining streets.
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A nice little flowerbed is placed next to each sentry box.
Each one consist of exactly 10 red tulips, 10 yellow tulips, 10 margaret flowers and 10 violets.
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Signs are erected next to the flowerbeds and draped with decorative vine. They read: "NO MARCUSES ALLOWED".
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A traveling circus moves into the town for the night and performs, they have jugglers and fire breathers. People become happy and enjoy the break from the chaos that occurred not too long ago. They move away again the next morning.
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Refugees come from further down the coast as pirates have been doing pillagey things round there. They help to solve the labour shortage crisis whilst also enriching the local culture.
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The pirates, seeing their prey fleeing, follow them. They pose as merchants attracted the the tulips and violets.
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A wooden wall is built to keep unwanted guests out.
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A pirate hideout was built.
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A pirate emerges from the hideout, disguised as a lantern bearer. He sets fire to the wooden wall.
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A stone wall is build in the place of the ashes of the wall that was previously in it's place. This time with guards on top. (This is really feeling like a game of some really awesome civilization game with tons of features...)
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A large Windmill is built beside the wall
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The Pirates use their cannons against the walls and organize a assault.
A army of crossbowmen,pikemen and macemen is defending the city.The Pikemen are able to hold out the pirates at the gates while the crossbowmen fire a volley after volley into the approaching pirates.However,the pirates manage to brake the pikemen's phalanx,while taking huge losses.The crossbowmen shoot one last volley and retreat to the town center.The remaining pikemen try to hold off the attacking pirates near the town center while crossbowmen shoot directly into the ranks of the pirates. While this is happening,the Macemen are making a swift run to the back of the pirates and make a incredible charge and totally eradicate the remaining pirates.
The town has survived the siege and defeated the pirates,but the pirate hideout is still there,and some more pirates are gathering there.Also,they have stormed the Windmill and made a wooden wall around their hideout...Someone should take care of them.
Khan,now this also looks a bit like Lords of the Realm 2,Sid Meier's Pirates and Stronghold Crusader now. ::)
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A leader rises up from the ranks and takes charge. Seeing as the Pirates are much more well equipped they take the weapons of the pirates and repair whatever has been damaged.
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The pirates besiege the city for 2 months.The stone wall has taken some damage.
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A messenger is sent to the King to get help.
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The King refuses, but decides to send enough funds and craftsmen to build a solid gold statue of himself in the centre of town.
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A vegetable stand, specializing in tomatoes, is built next to the statue.
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A rival carrot stand is build just across the way.
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The tomato stand owner hired some thugs to snap all the carrot vendors carrots in two
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The carrot vender flies into a frothing rage, draws his trusty carrot carver and slices the broken carrots into wafers. He then hurls handfuls of carrot wafers into a pan of boiling oil (he was planning on upturning it onto the tomato vender's head before the carrot snapping incident) and lo and behold, for he hath created the carrot crisp! His carrot crisps become a massively popular hit with the locals, and soon Sir Crayton of the Crunchy Carrot Crisp builds a factory to produce his crisps and export them throughout the land.
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The pirates like the taste of Sir Crayton's Crispy Carrot Crisps and intercept every shipment leaving the town.
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Sir Crayton poisons a shipment of his carrots by the order of the local authority and sends them out.
(Leftover poison was neutralized.)
As always, pirates intercept the shipment and eat all the carrots.
Majority dies. Survivors, crippled by their losses, move out of town.
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But now no one will buy Sir Crayton's Crispy Carrot Crisps for fear of being poisoned too, regardless of any assurances he gives
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The town grows a Winery and is soon producing some of the finest wine in the whole of [Insert Name].
[Exilian] maybe?
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[Yes, I know this has not been posted in for at least 120 days, but it's an awesome idea]
Having been left abandoned for so many years, the ghost town is overgrown when settlers slowly start to move back in.
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Someone cleans off an old sign which appears to say "No -ar--ses Allowed". They promptly decide this sign was put there by God and attempt to ban buttocks amongst the settlers, but are driven out to form a tiny commune of the buttless in the nearby hills.
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Fearing what will happen if the religious fanatics ar left to their own devices, the rest of the townspeople decide that the best method for survival to to build a giant tower and sit in it until the cult is gone.. They begin work immediately.
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The ghosts of ghost town don't appreciate the planned architecture and so slaughter everyone working on the tower in one cruel misty morning. Only a few sane folk are left with all manner of crazy fools around.
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The remaining townsfolk decide that this must have been retribution from God for driving out the buttless cult. They visit the commune and invite them back to town with promises of power.
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The members of the cult cautiously return to the town only to find themselves betrayed!
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Upon murdering the members of the cult with no divine retribution, the townsfolk realise that slaughter by ghosts was unrelated to the buttless cult.
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Enraged that they had been so ruthlessly tricked (as they saw it), they searched around for someone or something to blame.
They found Sammy.
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Sammy claims that he heard it from the ghosts themselves, but they don't listen. The townsfolk kill him in their rage.
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Sammy returns from the grave and begins a new life inside the city plumbing (which was just installed :P ).
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The stone wall around the town is repaired by the newly united townsfolk.
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Soon the market is thriving again as slowly traders return to the newly fortified town.
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More people begin settling in the town as it becomes quite the trade hub.
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Death stalks the land! An outbreak of diarrhea strikes the population... anyone remember Sammy? :P
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Sammy soon becomes fed up with the stinking mess that is constantly being tipped into his home. He resolves to find the source of the illness and destroy it.
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The source of the illness is one of the settlers. Sammy kills him and hides back in the sewers. The townsfolk are confused by this strange murder.
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A new pub opens up, it's name is the Scarlet Dragon. (;P) It's popularity grows and it's soon the most visited pub in town.
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Travellers come from far and wide to visit the Scarlet Dragon.
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As the popularity of the tavern grows, the landlords begin grow greedy. They begin to put water in the wine and the beer.. filling up the sausages with this and that.. y'know..
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A shop opens up in town, it sells everything and is visited by many travelers coming trough on quests.
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Some become suspicious of the store, after reports of slave trading and Justin Bieber albums being sold.
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Horrified parents throughout the town soon discover where their children have been purchasing the Bieber-bollocks and a mob is swiftly mobilised. The shop owners are driven out of town by hordes of torch and pitchfork wielding townsfolk and one of them is trampled to death in the ruckus. Angered by the death of their family member the other shop owners/fugitives swear they shall have vengeance and set out to raise an army of rabid Bieber fans.
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Bieber dies, all is now peaceful, No more of his album exist (They were all burnt) and everything is as it should be.
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..Except for the giant bonfire that threatens to engulf the town.
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As the buildings catch fire the towns people get buckets and try to put them out.
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A handy rainstorm happens by to help them.
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But the rainstorm doesn't stop and before you know it they have a flood on their hands.
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Thankfully they have a wood supply on high ground and begin work on temporary floating accommodation.
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The flood doesn't stop and makes a huge lake, there is now a floating city in the middle of it from all of the floating accommodations that were made.
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A bridge from the shore to the town is constructed.
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Signs spring up all over town, proclaiming that No Marcuses shall be allowed within the city bounds.
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The word that there's a floating town spreads and many people come from all around just to see it, because a lot of people want to live there they have to build more houses on the water.
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Soon the houses extend to beyond the perimeter of the great lake.
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Now we have a city that encompasses the whole lake and the surrounding lands. To think of new ways to expand they start to build downwards into the lake. (Inverted sky scrapers)
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People travel from across the known world to see this technological marvel, leading to the city becoming a prosperous trade hub.
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The waterlife dies off due to the excessive "underwater hunting" and the many passerby littering in the water.
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A filtration system is developed by an emerging caste of priest-scientists, and the city's underwater areas declared sacred to the gods of the city such that none may litter them.
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A giant whale appears and destroys half the town before impaling itself on all of the broken and splintered underwater wooden structures.
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The townsfolk move to the Moon and become whalers (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60BjkUtqxPE).
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The moonbase rapidly expands, including a control centre and a space-rock-mine.
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As they dig, they start to find the fossilised remains of what look like dinosaurs.
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It appears that there used to be underground dwelling dinosaurs on the moon.
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An inevitable palaeontology institute springs up.
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Where they work on bringing the species of underground dinosaurs back to life.
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Eventually, they bring to life a baby triceratops and IT IS ADORABLE.
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They raise a horde of nassty little triceratopses and stick lazers on their fricken heads in order to defend the moon from Marcuses and stuff.
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Then the Clanger nation invaded.
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And they use the horde of nasty little triceratopses with lazers on their frigging heads to fight them.
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A wooden palisade is completed.
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A chicken deflector shield is put into construction, as is a giant gold statue of the mayor.
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Civil revolt!
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Mayor flees in panic!
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Chaos insures as the horde of nasty little triceratopses with lazers on their frigging heads try to restore order because they are intelligent.
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The new Ceratopcracy (government by Ceratopsians) proves remarkably successful.
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A barbarian horde appears!
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The barbarian horde faces off against the highly armed technologically superior but numerically small human-ceratopsian army and their gun turrets, sky trenches, and blast walls.
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The barbarian army steals some of their tech! They are now armed with laser AK-47's and energy grenades!
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But they are no match for the earthquake, they are all sqaushed, sadly so are most of the human-ceratopsian army.
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A statue is made in solid tungsten to honour the human and ceratopsian fallen.
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Starship adds the city to its World Tour.
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This necessitates the creation of the Barbarian War Memorial Stadium; huge numbers of intelligent laser-dinosaurs and humans build a vast arena for the performance.
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(What performance?)
A sudden werewolf attack stops the construction,and the tungsten stature is burnt down.
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And dino vampires destroy the werewolves.
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Without a word, the dino vampires disappear back to where they came from and the stadium gets finished.
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Laser dino and Human gladiators come from all around to compete in the Stadium arena.
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I set up a stand to sell scalpel mines.
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A roman style bathhouse is built right next to the Stadium.
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The bathhouse quickly becomes immensely popular.
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A rain forest is grown around the city.
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In the rainforest, eco-spheres are made, and people move out of the city centre into hi-tech treehouses.
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A pyramid is built on top of a tree.
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The weight of the pyramid breaks the tree, sending the pyramid crashing to the ground.
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They build a prison inside of the pyramid.
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And put barbed wire around a large perimeter.
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They cut down all the trees for paper.
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An environmental protest leads to some fresh trees being planted.
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:boomface:
Suicide Bombers! Chaos and panic in the streets!
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A blue police box turns up in the ruins of the old stadium.
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Atomic bomb bombs the blue police box!
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The stadium is destroyed. The police box isn't. :P
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But all the paint gets scratched off, it's no longer blue.
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The police box disappears again, presumably to find a painter somewhere.
The arena, in the middle of the now ruined city, is left with nothing growing but a single spore of the MIGHTY MUSHROOM OF MUNDIFRON.
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The MIGHTY MUSHROOM OF MUNDIFRON is now so large that it has an entry in the hitchhikers guide to Exilian.
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The MIGHTY MUSHROOM OF MUNDIFRON now provides a safe, raised platform on which a small, furry alien species starts building residential housing.
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Several other mushrooms start growing around it, the spawnlings of the MIGHTY MUSHROOM OF MUNDIFRON.
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The spawnlings provide calm suburb districts for the small furry aliens, and are reached by means of curious teleporting devices that have a strange resemblance to table lamps.
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Mushroom shaped Colosseum!
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The mighty mushroom is now the centre of a large citadel, with the small furry aliens building their council chamber in a floating globe above the central plaza of the city.
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A huge furry alien species sets up a colony just down the road from the citadel.
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They build big alien walls.
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And a large number of telephone sanitisation workshops.
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They soon run out of telephones to sanitise, as they seem to break when submerged in water.
The workshops all go bust, leaving many unemployed big furry aliens.
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The big furry alien unemployment problem leads to a major lack of confidence in the planet's economy and bankrupts the small furry aliens.
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The small furry aliens rise up in glorious revolution!
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There is much carnage and destruction: a mere mushroom farmer, Mundifronica, rises up as their Glorious Leader, but is slain in the final battle. In the destruction of the old city, she - with her dying breath - plants a new mushroom spore, and the new MIGHTY MUSHROOM OF MUNDIFRON is grown. A small battered colony of small fluffy aliens clusters around the Mundifronica Memorial Library, its centrepiece.
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Someone bumps the Library, it falls over. Apparently mushrooms aren't very good builders.
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On the other hand, they grow back quickly. A year later, the Mundifronica Memorial Library Memorial Library is complete :P
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Aaaaaaaaaand now it's on it's side again. Damn mushroom buildings...
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A new industry is started in mushroom scaffolding.
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Mushrooms are now used to hold up mushrooms buildings, it's simple engineering genius.
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Rumours spread that the SECOND MIGHTY MUSHROOM OF MUNDIFRON is sentient and preparing to talk to the Mushroom Farmers.
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They build a huge mansion for the SECOND MIGHTY MUSHROOM OF MUNDIFRON as they wait for it to talk to them.
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New travellers flock in from other mushroom-growing regions, and the city expands its populace and builds new suburbs as the High Mushroom Farmers extend their reach over the citizenry (at the expense of the powers of the Mushroom Mayor).
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The aliens get employment in various industries that contribute to civic expansion and extensive civilization, unlocking never seen before truths about the universe!
Do they dare challenge these new mysteries that beset them?
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They magically become a stage 3 space empire in the span of a day, focused around the mushroom religion
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The religion collapses to rot and decay (that which it used to feed off) however this creates advanced philosophical questions to be considered, broadening the minds of everyone involved.
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Dozens of other civilizations and races of aliens join this galactic empire
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Scientists eventually discover that the galaxy is inexplicably mushroom shaped.