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The Street of the Clerisy => Arts, Crafts, Music & Drama - The Artisans' Guilds => Topic started by: Jubal on August 01, 2018, 04:24:55 PM

Title: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on August 01, 2018, 04:24:55 PM
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Episode List:



1. Narrative Voice
(https://i.imgur.com/QFesAKz.png)
 
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Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: Silver Wolf on August 02, 2018, 12:44:06 AM
I guess he should have invested in his passive perception a bit. :P
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: Jubal on August 02, 2018, 01:16:55 AM
I guess in gaming terms Botso would be some kind of cross-class cleric/bard, considering he has enough plot sense to converse with the narrative voice. :)

I've also worked out plans for two more strips of this story, if anyone wants to hear what happens next?
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: comrade_general on August 02, 2018, 01:34:16 AM
Do the thing.
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: Tusky on August 02, 2018, 06:17:03 AM
It's good! Made me chuckle too. I'm not precious about my fourth walls

Would definitely read the others :)
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: beebug_nic on August 02, 2018, 11:33:55 AM
Very much raised a smirk :-) Keen to see another!
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: Jubal on August 02, 2018, 05:48:01 PM
Thanks guys! :) OK, as requested...

Ep 2: I Shot The Cleric (But I Didn't Shoot the Ordinary):

(https://i.imgur.com/NSta5dy.png)
 
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Feedback welcome as ever :) I'll start a list of episodes in the OP.
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: beebug_nic on August 02, 2018, 06:11:10 PM
Enjoying Botso's dialogue - and loving the detail on the clergy/cleric :-)
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: Tusky on August 03, 2018, 08:20:01 AM
Interesting! I like it.

So you've only got one more to conclude? I'm sure you could probably spin the story out if you wanted :]
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: Jubal on August 03, 2018, 10:47:28 AM
I've only got one more planned - it certainly doesn't conclude the story at all, I just haven't had any ideas for where to go after that!

I've got a lot of general thoughts on some kind of a plot, and three other characters drawn up who I want to flesh out and introduce, but it's keeping the dialogue light/humourous enough that I'm struggling with. I can't just make D&D punchline gags because they're all 200% overdone and I don't even know the rules well enough, and I need to build up a fair bunch more comics/characterisation before I can start making internally referential humour within the comic world either.
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: SLiV on August 04, 2018, 01:34:53 PM
Ooh, this is neat.  :D

As a point of critique, I think the fonts could be clearer, maybe by using fonts with anti-aliasing.
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: Jubal on August 04, 2018, 09:13:36 PM
Ep 3: The Man Upstairs

(https://i.imgur.com/nU8LRG9.png)
 
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Another one out! :) In which Botso has some troubles with authority.

I now have an idea for another five or so strips, and I've basically finished #4. I'm wondering if I should actually slow down from this point and make this (initially) a weekly-ish thing? There's no way that in the long run I'm going to produce these things faster than once a week on average, and I think keeping to a regular-ish routine is more likely to get me to keep going than just doing them when I feel like it and ending up with something that always gets bumped down the queue or has a short burst every quarter of a year or something. Thoughts on that?


Ooh, this is neat.  :D

As a point of critique, I think the fonts could be clearer, maybe by using fonts with anti-aliasing.
Hm, I'll have a think about that - I've tried messing with other fonts but none of them seemed to improve it really. Does the font still look unclear to you if you look at the image in full-size? (Click on it in a web browser to enlarge).
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: Caradìlis on August 04, 2018, 09:43:00 PM
Hihi, that guy just made favourite god of the week... Sarcasm and bookworminess, Caradìlis approves... :)
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: Tusky on August 05, 2018, 08:20:45 AM
haha Otarid has some sass
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: Glaurung on August 05, 2018, 10:28:45 PM
I like this very much, and would enjoy more of it.

Also I feel the comic deserves a name of its own, not just "In which Jubal...", but I'm not sure what it should be.
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: Jubal on August 05, 2018, 11:19:07 PM
I agree, I'm just still stuck on trying to work out a name! I think I'm struggling a bit with it because I'm not yet sure what the comic's defining feature really is other than "set in a fantasy variant of Georgia". I'm hoping that will become clearer to me in the next few strips, as I introduce some more recurring/major characters (Botso is great fun to write, but I also want him to have some people to go on adventures with). Suggestions/thoughts appreciated on the naming issue, anyway.

I'm very slowly compiling ep 5 now, in which the first of those extra recurring characters will make an appearance; ep 4 is all ready and I'll put it out next weekend.
Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: HanSolo on August 06, 2018, 12:14:03 AM
"They should build me libraries" - love it! Very Pratchett
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on August 08, 2018, 07:09:28 PM
Some minor updates:

Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Glaurung on August 09, 2018, 01:00:52 AM
because I thought the joke could get lost for people who don't know that an Ordinary is a clerical role
This reminded me of a quote from SF and fantasy author Mary Gentle, in her introduction to her White Crow series:
Quote from: Mary Gentle
This is why, when I say that there are jokes in Rats & Gargoyles that only three people in the world will understand, and one of them is dead, this is not an apology.
Please don't be afraid of obscure jokes and subtle references. Maybe some people won't get them, but others will - they'll connect what you've written with what they know, and a certain joyful smile will cross their face: "Oh, yes, that's what he means." Or maybe they won't understand at first, but will be motivated to do some research, and then that moment of discovery and connection will come a little later.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on August 09, 2018, 11:44:49 PM
That's a good point and well made - change reversed, since I think Ordinary makes a marginally better joke. :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on August 11, 2018, 12:13:19 PM
Ep 4: Service de-liver-y

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Glaurung on August 11, 2018, 11:52:40 PM
I'm so glad I'm not jaundiced about this series :P

Though I note that the toastmaster first appears as an odd grey-green colour, rather than the expected yellow?
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on August 12, 2018, 02:09:35 PM
Yes, I was trying for "generally sickly" - I've uploaded a new version with a more obvious yellow colouration (and a typo fix, and an enlarged "magic aura" in panel 5).

Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: pixeldungeonadventure on August 15, 2018, 08:51:27 PM
Hehe, nice. I think #3 is my favorite with #4 being a close second. Keep up the good work.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on August 18, 2018, 10:11:07 AM
5. Travel Proposal

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: comrade_general on August 19, 2018, 04:26:53 PM
:(
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on August 25, 2018, 04:48:04 PM
6. Best Foot Forward

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Title: Re: In which Jubal decides to find out how hard writing comics is
Post by: SLiV on September 01, 2018, 10:16:28 PM
I'm already a big fan of Otarid, Learned Above All. Not in the least because his magic seems to be teal-colored.

Hm, I'll have a think about that - I've tried messing with other fonts but none of them seemed to improve it really. Does the font still look unclear to you if you look at the image in full-size? (Click on it in a web browser to enlarge).
Ah yes, that helps a bunch.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on September 02, 2018, 09:05:29 AM
Funny comic. I like it.

One minor nitpick: in ep4. you have a character facing right and then in 4th strip he faces left. Try to avoid changing orientation unless you change the setting (camera angle) as well, because it breaks the flow. As I was focusing on the text, I though it was the main protagonist speaking based on the position and orientation.

Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on September 02, 2018, 12:30:12 PM
@Bigosaur Hm, OK, I'll think about that. The change of facing was actually intentional - to show that he's no longer talking directly to Botso, but calling out to the whole room - but I can see why that'd be confusing. I'll think on it, it's a good point.

@SLiV: Yeah, Otarid seems to be a fan favourite after two panels' worth of speech. I shall have to find a way to bring the Learned Above All back into the story not too far into the future :) I'm still thinking maybe a breakout page where Botso tells the readers about the cosmology/deities might work well.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on September 02, 2018, 12:41:18 PM
The change of facing was actually intentional - to show that he's no longer talking directly to Botso, but calling out to the whole room

Ah, it makes sense now. But, I think a much better scene composition for that would be to show the whole room of people then.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on September 02, 2018, 03:38:43 PM
Yes, that's a good point. I'm not sure if I'll get round to going back and trying to fix it, but it's definitely something to keep in mind for the next ones I'm doing - thankyou for the feedback, it's really useful! :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on September 02, 2018, 03:57:16 PM
7. It's probably a Maille-ard

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Tusky on September 02, 2018, 04:00:18 PM
Nice. "next" link is doing an error

How that mallard is managing to remain afloat with all that armour on is beyond me, though.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on September 02, 2018, 04:39:46 PM
All fixed, I think you got me in the middle of sorting the links out :)

As for the duck, the question having been asked I of course then had to try and work it out...

Using this paper (http://www.zoojones.net/PDFs/127.%20Body%20mass,%20volume,%20and%20buoyancy%20of%20some%20aquatic%20birds,%20and%20their%20relation%20to%20locomotor%20strategies.pdf) , a mallard comes out at about 1.876 litres (that is, 0.001876 cubic metres) in volume, and 1.28 kilos in weight. Its gravitation force downwards (gravity times mass) is thus about 12.59N, upwards (volume times water density times gravity) is about 18.4 N. If we assume that, albeit weighted down, we can afford to get it to about 17.4N downwards before it has too much trouble (above 18.4 is where it should sink), then we can reverse the calculation and divide that 17.4 by gravity (of 9.81) to work out the maximum mass of duck possible, which comes to about 1.75 kilos. In other words, a duck actually should be able to wear nearly half a kilo of armour in theory. Given that Wiki tells me a plate armour suit weighs around 20kg (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plate_armour) for a 60-70kg human, I think you could probably keep the ratio the same and scale that down and make one that was 0.4kg for a 1.2kg duck. It might not be a very happy duck, but physics suggests it should still be a floating one :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on September 03, 2018, 06:37:40 PM
Using this paper (http://www.zoojones.net/PDFs/127.%20Body%20mass,%20volume,%20and%20buoyancy%20of%20some%20aquatic%20birds,%20and%20their%20relation%20to%20locomotor%20strategies.pdf) , a mallard comes out at about 1.876 litres (that is, 0.001876 cubic metres) in volume, and 1.28 kilos in weight. Its gravitation force downwards (gravity times mass) is thus about 12.59N, upwards (volume times water density times gravity) is about 18.4 N. If we assume that, albeit weighted down, we can afford to get it to about 17.4N downwards before it has too much trouble (above 18.4 is where it should sink), then we can reverse the calculation and divide that 17.4 by gravity (of 9.81) to work out the maximum mass of duck possible, which comes to about 1.75 kilos. In other words, a duck actually should be able to wear nearly half a kilo of armour in theory. Given that Wiki tells me a plate armour suit weighs around 20kg (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plate_armour) for a 60-70kg human, I think you could probably keep the ratio the same and scale that down and make one that was 0.4kg for a 1.2kg duck. It might not be a very happy duck, but physics suggests it should still be a floating one :)

It's probably weird, but the length to which you have gone to prove it here was really funny, perhaps even the funniest thing in this thread so far. Consider maybe incorporating it into the comic? Tusky's comment that prompted it should also be included somehow. Perhaps something like the two old guys in the Muppet Show.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Caradìlis on September 03, 2018, 08:40:51 PM
Nice stereotype subversion, but the narrator in my brain couldn't help going "phyyysics" at the look at the armoured duck that still managed to be perfectly afloat... :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on September 03, 2018, 09:52:12 PM
Yeah, maybe I need to do a "readers' mail special" or something with the supporting calculations :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: comrade_general on September 03, 2018, 10:34:35 PM
I'm just gonna go the simple route and assume that it's sitting on an underwater stone or pillar.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on September 03, 2018, 11:08:14 PM
Now I feel like nobody believes my calculations :'(
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Tusky on September 05, 2018, 10:17:56 AM
For a completely separate reason I am amassing a small flotilla of armoured mallards.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on September 12, 2018, 11:29:38 PM
I have worked out plenty of plans for future comics, but I'm lacking the time to finish ep 08 and I'm stuck on the dialogue again :( I had a workable idea for 8, 9, and 10, but then realised I needed to shift those to be 9, 10, and 11 so we could have an 8 that actually introduced us to Varam now he's turned up. As such, temporary hiatus, but don't worry, we'll be back soon :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on September 30, 2018, 01:41:59 PM
8. An Uncomplicated Fellow

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on September 30, 2018, 02:06:47 PM
"It's not that complicated" LOL. I might start to use this in everyday conversations.  ;D
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: pixeldungeonadventure on October 01, 2018, 01:33:09 AM
Haha. This character's a keeper.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Caradìlis on October 01, 2018, 05:52:11 PM
Pfffffft...  :D ;D
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on October 01, 2018, 06:04:53 PM
Yeah, Varam will definitely be here to stay! He was one of a set of four characters I vaguely sketched out just as I was making comic #1, of whom we've now met three :)

I'm glad you guys liked this one - I really struggled with it because I basically worked out the next one then realised it barely features Varam, and he'd just arrived so I had to invent a strip in the middle to showcase the character a bit more. Starting with "show off this character" turned out to be quite a hard ask as a basis for a strip though, so I'm glad it went OK in the end :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Tusky on October 02, 2018, 10:43:04 AM
I now wonder how his eel trapping abilities are.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on October 02, 2018, 08:28:45 PM
I have no clue how that could become plot relevant, but then I only know the plot ahead in very, very loose detail, so you never know!
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Caradìlis on October 02, 2018, 08:44:55 PM
Fun fact, I talked to a friend of mine today who used the exact same sentence as above, verbatim, with his voice drenched in sarcasm, while talking about our dnd campaign, and now this phrasing has me VERY suspicious... ;D
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on October 06, 2018, 04:48:13 PM
9. At least it wasn't a wink-face

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on October 06, 2018, 05:12:18 PM
Ssh, it's cleric stuff. :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Caradìlis on October 06, 2018, 06:04:55 PM
Dun-dun-duuuuuun... Aaand here comes the plot twist nobody eeeever saw coming from a thousand miles away... :P

Also on a side note, someone is going to have a field day with the Uni-Verse Christmas Calendar... ;D
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on October 06, 2018, 06:14:55 PM
Yes, I think it's fair to say that the characters are rather more surprised than the readers by this turn of events :P
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Tusky on October 07, 2018, 08:59:00 AM
Lovely stuff.

Take that, fourth wall.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on October 22, 2018, 11:02:45 PM
10. Some of them want to use you

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on October 23, 2018, 11:51:22 PM
Really enjoying this. Can't believe I hadn't read it before today.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on October 24, 2018, 11:28:08 AM
I hope the joke in the last panel isn't too obscure - or at least makes sense when you look it up :)

I've not started on #11 yet, but I have the next six or seven strips planned in my head at least.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on October 24, 2018, 12:12:06 PM
I got it. :)

Looking forward to more. Really enjoying what we've seen of the setting too.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on October 24, 2018, 01:57:57 PM
Yeah, a lot of the setting is just a re-cut dump of medieval Georgian stuff I'm reading - lots of references to medieval epics from the period, and also there'll be quite a bit of stuff about more recent folklore in there as well :) It's a nice alternative way to process all the information I'm dumping into my brain via my work.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: pixeldungeonadventure on October 31, 2018, 02:21:50 AM
Lol, the cow...
Nice touch.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on November 04, 2018, 03:37:47 PM
11. In Charge

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on November 04, 2018, 07:23:34 PM
Very nice scene composition there. I like it when regular dialog boxes get broken a little bit with a different perspective.

Also, I'm very curious to see how the story develops now...
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Caradìlis on November 05, 2018, 09:02:23 AM
Very much liking that last line (for no reason whatsoever)...  :harp:
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on November 05, 2018, 10:49:53 PM
Yeah, every new comic I'm having to create a few extra arms/legs/postures, the back views of Botso and Rusudan appear here for the first time, as do the running postures, not to mention the four sprites you can see in small in the perspective shot (which we're going to be zooming in on shortly!). I'm glad the perspective worked! I feel like my mountain valleys don't look quite right, they're under-foliated and the mountains are too small and separate, but I'm working on them and hopefully they'll improve with time :) I feel like the running postures look awkward too but I can't quite put my finger on why...


And yes, dunno when I'm next going to have the hours for another strip but I'm looking forward to the next few scenes myself :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on November 06, 2018, 01:29:33 PM
I feel like my mountain valleys don't look quite right, they're under-foliated and the mountains are too small and separate

It's ok. Those are backgrounds anyway. Nobody is paying much attention.

Quote
I feel like the running postures look awkward too but I can't quite put my finger on why...

Seems like you got arms and leg positions mixed up. According to the leg position of Botso, his left arm should be back, behind the body, in that pose. And you could move his right arm a little bit forward.

Varam looks alright, although I'm not sure how natural is to run with a shield and your axe above the head. I would expect someone with an axe to keep it down while running and raise it only when they approach the enemy.

The best way to make this work is to find some reference animation of running and go frame-by-frame until you get the pose you want to show. You can do this easily with YouTube, just keep pressing dot (.) key on the keyboard when the video is paused and you can see every frame.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Glaurung on November 07, 2018, 11:53:26 AM
I feel like my mountain valleys don't look quite right, they're under-foliated and the mountains are too small and separate
I wouldn't worry. Your human figures are evidently and deliberately stylised, so I don't think readers will expect the background to be especially realistic.

Meanwhile, it's only just registered with me that Varam is left-handed, i.e. weapon in his left hand, shield on his right arm. Similarly either K'akha or Sargis in Episode 6. Was this common in medieval Georgia?
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on November 07, 2018, 02:19:15 PM
No, as far as I know Georgians have the same handedness ratio as anyone else. The person in Ep 6 I honestly hadn't really been thinking about, it was just a coincidence of flipping the facing of the character a particular way (which is done by mirroring) - I only started thinking about handedness in more recent strips really. Varam is however canonically left-handed (a decision I made as of the most recent two strips).
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on November 18, 2018, 12:49:48 PM
12. Now You See Me

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on January 06, 2019, 11:56:00 AM
13. It's Half The Battle

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on January 06, 2019, 09:48:20 PM
This is getting more interesting with every new strip.  :) Can't wait to see how the story unfolds...
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Ierne on January 09, 2019, 06:52:27 PM
I finally activated my account! so now I can comment on how utterly brilliant this comic is. this is just ridiculously creative :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on January 12, 2019, 02:31:26 PM
Thanks guys :) I wonder what people think will happen next - I find it hard to know how predictable my own plots are...

I'm also wondering about comic length - I've ended up with a five row format which is quite a lot of comic per page (OOTS has about ten panels per page, I have more like thirteen or fourteen). I'm trying to work out a) if it matters if I switch between four and five row comics (that is, does it feel odd if sometimes pages switch to more/fewer panels), and b) if the five row format feels too long per update at all, both for me and for the reader. I worry that four doesn't give me enough time to say stuff, but five is a bit of a grind to make. Thoughts welcome!
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on January 12, 2019, 09:15:27 PM
Thanks guys :) I wonder what people think will happen next - I find it hard to know how predictable my own plots are...

I'm also wondering about comic length - I've ended up with a five row format which is quite a lot of comic per page (OOTS has about ten panels per page, I have more like thirteen or fourteen). I'm trying to work out a) if it matters if I switch between four and five row comics (that is, does it feel odd if sometimes pages switch to more/fewer panels), and b) if the five row format feels too long per update at all, both for me and for the reader. I worry that four doesn't give me enough time to say stuff, but five is a bit of a grind to make. Thoughts welcome!

I'm always reading OOTS in batches because not much can happen on a single page. I vote for 5-row comics.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: justatoady on January 13, 2019, 06:23:28 PM
these are very fun^^
i like how 'uncomplicated' is still very clearly varam's character (maybe with a bit of bloodthirsty thrown in)
the serious expressions on the stick figures when fighting happens are very funny to me, and I'm not entirely sure why

as for what could happen next,
i feel like with the "bandits" actually being guards, it looks like the spy lady did something very bad to that temple, and might be a bit sinister,
i guess one way to go would be to have her look like a serious threat but then get on really well with rusudan, what with the latter's own tendency to be a bit scheming...
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Glaurung on January 13, 2019, 11:03:33 PM
I'm also wondering about comic length ...
 a) if it matters if I switch between four and five row comics (that is, does it feel odd if sometimes pages switch to more/fewer panels)
Not for me. I don't think I expect any particular layout, rather that the artist will use whatever layout is most suitable for the bit of the story that they want to tell. As I recall, the layout of Digger varied quite a bit.

I'm also wondering about comic length - ...
 b) if the five row format feels too long per update at all, both for me and for the reader. I worry that four doesn't give me enough time to say stuff, but five is a bit of a grind to make.
It's fine for me as a reader - in fact, the more story I get at one go, the happier I am. But I'm not the one who's doing all the work. I'd happily have smaller panels more often than longer ones with big gaps between then. I guess it's up to you to find the optimal balance between the effort involved and the amount of story you want to tell in each panel.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on January 16, 2019, 11:59:24 PM
Hm, I think I'll be sticking with five for now but might occasionally switch to fours - four basically allows I think for a bit of dialogue and a single punchline joke, whereas five lets me do at least two things in a page - a punchline joke and then a buildup to a cliffhanger, or whatever. Carving out the time is ever the issue of course...
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Ierne on January 19, 2019, 10:14:12 PM
I feel like there's a lot we don't know yet about the story, which is fun :)
my prediction at this point: there is something *very dubious indeed* being planned by the temple of mushtar, and Rusudan, Botso, Varam and the Mysterious Vanishing Lady have to prevent it.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on January 20, 2019, 05:22:09 PM
14. No Rescue in Sight

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Ierne on January 20, 2019, 10:48:46 PM
THAT COW. that was such a perfect moment, brilliant 😂.
Let me also take this moment to express my appreciation for the fact that the girls in this story rescue themselves :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Caradìlis on January 20, 2019, 11:59:32 PM
I stand corrected, you do plot murder... I'd be frightened, but, well, alas, I am me and - that is all I will say without the presence on a lawyer... ;D
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on January 21, 2019, 01:30:39 PM
Huh, I noticed/realised only after posting this that the mysterious lady (whose name you guys may even get to find out at some point) has a dress problem - when I flip her to look the opposite way, her whole dress/wrap swivels so the knot is on the wrong side. I may fix that for future comics. How noticeable did everyone else find it?
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Glaurung on January 21, 2019, 02:00:29 PM
How noticeable did everyone else find it?
I didn't notice it until you said so! Perhaps you should treat this as a feature rather than a bug?
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on January 21, 2019, 02:47:59 PM
I think now I've noticed it the lack of consistency will annoy me, so I'll regularise it for future at least - I just need to create one extra subtly different sprite for her, which isn't too much work.

Thinking about it, I'm going to need to do that for the priest from page 2 if/when he ever appears again, or the symbol on his hat will get flipped. Cursed non-symmetric dress!
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on January 21, 2019, 06:38:46 PM
How noticeable did everyone else find it?

I completely missed. I usually don't pay much attention to character clothes unless there's some plot emphasis or some dialogue about it.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: justatoady on January 21, 2019, 07:50:56 PM
nice job : )

unflappable rusudan is great,
the epic fall is also great,
i like how quickly the beardy soldier guy drops his bravado,
it's also funny how the two panels he gets to threaten rusudan make it look like it takes a long time,

why did magic lady follow rusudan to the boys in the end?

the mystical side changing clothes really just seem like part of the super deformed art style
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on January 27, 2019, 07:51:09 PM
15. Meaningful Conversation

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Caradìlis on January 27, 2019, 08:02:57 PM
Okay, three thoughts spring to mind:

1. Babble sure as hell missed an opportunity when naming their app...

2. I have a spell for library catalogues too, it's called u:search, almost as fun to use as u:find (aaahh, my university doing puns, so much fun)

3. Aaaahm, as a linguistics student, I have to disagree...
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on January 27, 2019, 08:12:15 PM
In fairness, I'm pretty sure thaumaturgical linguistics isn't the specific course you're doing :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Ierne on January 27, 2019, 10:16:21 PM
This is great! I love the practicality of the magic in this comic. also, I need magical library searches to rescue me from the ridiculous and unusable system I am currently subject to /suffering under the tyranny of 😂
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Caradìlis on January 27, 2019, 11:58:00 PM
In fairness, I'm pretty sure thaumaturgical linguistics isn't the specific course you're doing :)

You're right, it's not... But from my current position, it looks like fun...
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on February 22, 2019, 03:09:21 PM
16. Faay, Enchantress

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Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on February 22, 2019, 06:11:25 PM
Hurray, finally a new episode. Not much happening but it is fun.

BTW, one sentence might be wrong: "Once I'd been sold on once" ? I can't figure out what it means, maybe the second "once" is extra?
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Caradìlis on February 22, 2019, 08:59:04 PM
Found my favourite line so far: "Anyone can be boring. I just choose not to be." That sounds liks my life's motto right there... :caradilis:
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Glaurung on February 22, 2019, 11:18:35 PM
BTW, one sentence might be wrong: "Once I'd been sold on once" ? I can't figure out what it means, maybe the second "once" is extra?
The two uses of "once" are doing subtly different things: the first one is equivalent to "after", while the second one is the more obvious "the first time" or "for the first time" (as distinct from "the second time" or "the third time"). So the sentence becomes "After I had been sold on for the first time...".
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on February 23, 2019, 10:43:39 AM
BTW, one sentence might be wrong: "Once I'd been sold on once" ? I can't figure out what it means, maybe the second "once" is extra?
The two uses of "once" are doing subtly different things: the first one is equivalent to "after", while the second one is the more obvious "the first time" or "for the first time" (as distinct from "the second time" or "the third time"). So the sentence becomes "After I had been sold on for the first time...".

Ah, I get it now. I'm not a native speaker, and I never heard it phrased like that before. Thanks!
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on February 23, 2019, 11:14:48 AM
I'm sorry this has taken so long to arrive, I'm really struggling with wrist/arm problems lately. And yes, there may not be a lot of plot movement in the next few strips - the necessary exposition sequences to explain bits of what's going on have to happen at some point, and I think I need some of them now before the plot can get much further.

Regarding the phrasing - yeah, as Glaur said it's possible because of the different uses of once, but I guess I could change it to "after I'd been sold on once" if that'd make it easier for non-native speakers to parse?

Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on February 23, 2019, 11:20:38 AM
I guess I could change it to "after I'd been sold on once" if that'd make it easier for non-native speakers to parse?

No need, I think it was just me. I'm used to seeing "sold on" in "sold on it" phrase, as in "convinced in something" and that confused me. Only when Glaurung explained did I start to look at "sold" as actual selling process ;)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Ierne on February 23, 2019, 12:43:17 PM
So that was why you were asking for prison break ideas! This is a cool episode, I'm one of the wierd people who love exposition. And I'm intrigued by the possibility that some kind of mythical creature might be showing up soon.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on March 10, 2019, 03:37:04 PM
17. Spies In All Four Walls

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on March 10, 2019, 07:10:48 PM
Great "episode". And I love the map.  :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on March 10, 2019, 09:59:41 PM
I already had much of the map in my head, but it's good to get it down (though nb just to cover myself for future consistency issyes, this is a pre-modern map and I can't promise it's to scale as shown! :) )

The biggest challenge of this one was trying to find a distinctive enough look for the kadjis. I was reasonably pleased with the eventual outcome - a lot of my early ones had them looking too much like ghouls or something.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on March 11, 2019, 11:28:37 AM
this is a pre-modern map and I can't promise it's to scale as shown! :)

:)

It would be nice to have a more detailed version with some forests shown as well. The way it is now, it only shows plains and mountains.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on March 11, 2019, 12:55:18 PM
Well, this one is a very very zoomed out several-kingdoms-scale map, even considering that not all the characters come from places shown on it! I'm thinking that every chapter (which should each be 30-40 pages) I'll do a bonus page or two of extra world background stuff, some of those could be more close up and detailed maps (I'm thinking another one will be Botso giving a two page guide to the planet-gods of Datvieti). :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Ierne on March 11, 2019, 08:35:28 PM
Wait, you're planning multiple 40 page chapters?!? Epic! Ive got a lot of this to look forward to :)
I also really liked the map.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on March 12, 2019, 10:59:30 AM
I worked out a rough framework for what I see as the whole story of these guys. This may have been a mistake, as it's, to say the least, long. If I can reach the end of what on my plan is Part One I'll feel I've done fairly well!
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: HanSolo on March 12, 2019, 11:20:59 PM
Great work so far! Also, have the Kadjis had lessons from Sauron in square mountain base building? If so, they've beaten him by remembering the fourth wall! :sauron:


...oh no wait, that's the priest of Mushtar who remembered, my bad...
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on March 30, 2019, 01:39:57 PM
Still failing to get the next comic done, but I did do a new top banner thingy:

(https://exilian.co.uk/projects/MountainLeopards/ML_Banner.png)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: comrade_general on March 30, 2019, 05:38:41 PM
Their faces remind me of the cereal guy
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on March 31, 2019, 08:45:38 AM
That's some nice looking banner. I like it.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Tusky on March 31, 2019, 11:02:41 AM
Yes it is a nice banner! Looks great on the first post
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on April 14, 2019, 08:41:12 PM
18. Administration of Justice

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Tusky on April 14, 2019, 09:55:51 PM
Like it  :)

For justice! (And also adequate pension provisions)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on April 15, 2019, 12:37:51 PM
Thanks :) I felt like I had a few problems/difficulties getting the relative visual placement of characters right on this one (and possibly didn't get the scaling consistently good either). With this many people in a panel plus a lot of dialogue it's a bit of a push to squish them all in. Was that noticeable as a reader/does anyone have any advice on it?
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Ierne on April 15, 2019, 07:40:46 PM
I didn't feel the panels were crowded, I thought you did the group scenes well. And I always find dissention in the ranks funny :)
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: bigosaur on April 16, 2019, 09:11:33 AM
Was that noticeable as a reader/does anyone have any advice on it?

I didn't see it until you wrote about it. But I don't feel it's a problem even now that I notice it.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on April 16, 2019, 09:20:24 PM
OK :) I think in retrospect maybe I need to be more happy to have speech bubbles covering minor characters - looking at big panel things in OOTS, Burlew actually does that quite a lot. But if it works for this page, I won't go back and change things here, plenty more comic ahead to write!
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: justatoady on April 18, 2019, 11:15:01 AM
Very fun!
I didn't notice any layout problems. The guy on the right in panel 5 seems weird because he's included without reacting at all, but his lack of expression is also funny...
Beardface is a great thing to call someone ^^
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on April 18, 2019, 10:50:36 PM
Yes, I was aiming for disrespectful without quite being outright insulting on that one :P

I have most of the dialogue for #19 done, I think, but still not started on the art. I wish I could set aside a week just to build up a backlog of these.
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on April 21, 2019, 02:11:53 PM
19. The Beard Helped, Though

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on June 07, 2019, 02:54:50 PM
20. Baggage handling

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Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Ierne on June 07, 2019, 07:22:10 PM
DOES THAT BOX HAVE LEGS? (and could it possibly be made of sapient pearwood?)

very funny episode, like it  :D
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Jubal on June 08, 2019, 11:36:21 PM
DOES THAT BOX HAVE LEGS? (and could it possibly be made of sapient pearwood?)
Good spot :) And thankyou!
Title: Re: Mountain Leopards: An Adventuring Story
Post by: Glaurung on June 09, 2019, 11:16:40 AM
very funny episode, like it  :D

Definitely - particularly the fact that Botso can see straight through the fourth wall :)