Exilian

Off-topic and Chatter: The Jolly Boar Inn => General Chatter - The Boozer => Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! => Topic started by: Jubal on July 09, 2008, 08:33:14 PM

Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 09, 2008, 08:33:14 PM: You wish for something, the next poster has to ruin it in some way.

E.G.
I wish for nuclear disarmament

ANS;
Everyobdy disarms, then creates new biological weapons and WWIII begins.

To start;

I wish for no homework!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on July 09, 2008, 08:50:24 PM: Homework is ruled unconstitutional but school hours are extended 3 hours in both irections (starts 3 hours earlier and ends 3 hours later)

I wish i had an xbox360
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 09, 2008, 08:51:51 PM: You get it, spend your life on it and waste away and die due to lack of food.

I wish for M2TW.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on July 09, 2008, 09:01:23 PM: You get it a day before Empire Total War comes out, ETW completly destroys M2TW in terms of popularity.

EDIT: Woops forgot to wish:

I wish exilian had more active members.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Son of the King on July 09, 2008, 09:01:46 PM: You get it, but then your computer explodes from the lag.

I wish I had Xbox Live...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 09, 2008, 09:01:59 PM: You wish for nothing, so you get nothing.

I wish for more users on Exilian.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on July 09, 2008, 09:04:17 PM: You get more users however exilian attracts drug dealers who use this forum to plan sumggling operations and exilian is closed down by the federal government.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 18, 2008, 08:36:13 PM: I wish someone makes a wish so i can ruin it! :zegun:
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on July 18, 2008, 09:09:35 PM: Someone wishes but you lack the mental cappacities to ruin it :P

I wish i owned the world.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 18, 2008, 09:13:42 PM: your plans are foiled by a dashingly handsome english secret agent code-named Dripping D

i wish i was a Sir
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on July 18, 2008, 09:15:46 PM: *snip snip*

I wish I could think of a good wish.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 18, 2008, 09:24:11 PM: Your fetish for cows is so big it overuns your brain!

I wish i could fly
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 18, 2008, 09:26:26 PM: you fly to close to the sun melting the wax holding your wings on therefore plummeting to your death

i wish mine and VS duel would end
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 18, 2008, 09:28:24 PM: Im too much of an arse to let it stop!

I wish i didnt have to go now.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 18, 2008, 09:32:15 PM: but your mum gets you off the computer with a shotgun to your head

i wish i get Tzakone
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Son of the King on July 18, 2008, 11:59:18 PM: You get Tzakone, but then have it removed after you abuse your power.

I wish I had faster internet.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on July 19, 2008, 02:18:28 PM: you do, then gypsies steal the cables

I wish I could attend the next mighty boosh live show
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 20, 2008, 11:00:08 AM: You cant because your boat has a hole in it and you will sink!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on July 20, 2008, 05:59:31 PM: you forgot to wish ;)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 21, 2008, 08:32:42 AM: soz

i wish i could afford a private jet!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 21, 2008, 08:53:50 AM: you can but then the credit crunch hits you hard and you commit suicide

i wish i could fly.....
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 21, 2008, 09:13:24 AM: you have no wings so you cant.

i wish i had a giant frog! :D
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 21, 2008, 09:17:21 AM: you do but then it is eaten by a giant toad

i wish i had a professionaly painted warhammer army of orcs and gobbos
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 21, 2008, 09:19:32 AM: You dont because your paintbrush is currupted with chaos and wont stay still!

i wish i could become a Tzakone!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 21, 2008, 09:20:22 AM: you do but then due to overwhelming votes from others you are banned for spamming
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 21, 2008, 09:31:18 AM: make a wish!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 21, 2008, 09:34:22 AM: soz
i wish me and shrubo would stop having spam duels
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 21, 2008, 09:42:37 AM: its actually about to come true.

i wish i had the biggest pizza in the world. :P
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 21, 2008, 09:50:11 AM: you do but then the fattest man in the world moves in next door and your pizza mysteriously disapears

i wish shrubo dosent become a civ
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 21, 2008, 09:56:49 AM: He doesn't. He jumps straight from member to admin. :P

I wish for cheese on toast.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 21, 2008, 09:59:36 AM: you get the cheese on toast but it comes out burnt and with 100 year old bree cheese

i wish i had the full version of mount and blade
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 21, 2008, 10:06:43 AM: you cant because jubal steals it.

i wish there were no chavs.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 21, 2008, 10:08:35 AM: they all die but then you become a chav

i wish orcs ruled the old world
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 21, 2008, 10:10:36 AM: they did but then they killed each other with tins of spam.

i wish lizardmen had higher wepon skilled heroes/lords.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 21, 2008, 10:12:06 AM: they do but they then cost small armies in their own rite

i wish lizardmen would go extinct
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 21, 2008, 10:13:33 AM: too bad, they never will.

i wish dwarves had steeds(not glyptadons)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 21, 2008, 10:14:52 AM: they do but they only move 5 inches

i wish orcs had more heavy infantry
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 21, 2008, 10:17:57 AM: me too! anyway they are so heavy that they cant walk.

i wish all cold ones looked the same.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 21, 2008, 10:18:59 AM: wtf that didnt ruin my wish
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 21, 2008, 10:24:18 AM: i wish all cold ones look the same.

(how many posts do u need for a Tzakone)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 21, 2008, 10:25:34 AM: you still haven't ruined my wish

and first you need to be a civ then you will gat elected
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 21, 2008, 10:27:00 AM: they are so heavy that they cant walk.

so i need 2 write a tutorial.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on July 21, 2008, 06:10:55 PM: Quote
(how many posts do u need for a Tzakone)

None, seeing as both positions have been filled and your posting hasn't really been 'constructive' here. And writing one tutorial doesn't make you a civ, writing a tutorial was an example as to ways to help exilian out. Its not a give and receive agreement here, its not, "I write a tutorial, i get to be a civ". And if you keep asking its just going to be harder to be elected.

You also haven't made a wish.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 22, 2008, 09:13:37 AM: o, ok

i wish all cold ones looked the same.
(lizardmens are different to dark elves)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on July 22, 2008, 10:20:57 AM: they do but that because some manufacturing error turns them all to unspecific blobs of metal/plastic (don't know what made of)

I wish for strategy games to be properly classed rather than one big group (RTS, City sim, RTT, TBS, TBT, JRPTB, etc) I hate having to wade through sim cities to try find a good real time stratergy
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 22, 2008, 10:58:17 AM: They go into so many precise and odd categories you can't find the category you want.

I wish for inspiration.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Vile Shrubo on July 22, 2008, 11:02:14 AM: you cant find it anywhere but peter green, so you dont bother.

i wish i had a ps3
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on July 22, 2008, 01:51:04 PM: you get one but place it next to a radiator by accident, it overheats, explodes and leaves you ps3, tv, and arm less

I wish i knew what was going to happen to me between October and next February, so I could pick the best date for me to go to Boosh '08
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 22, 2008, 03:51:31 PM: You discover you are going to die on the first of october.

I wish for genius/
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 22, 2008, 04:57:03 PM: you get it but realise its fashion genius
those damn ideas always hitting the wrong people

also another one for Vile's wish
you start eating your ps3 and end up with a disfunctional genitalia (proven fact by greenpeace)

i wish i had a yacht
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on July 22, 2008, 06:20:53 PM: You get one however the Gods have other plans and you die a horrible death at sea.

I wish Empire:TW wasn't so high end graphically.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 22, 2008, 08:34:44 PM: It becomes 2d with dot graphics.

I wash I was a better programmer.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on July 22, 2008, 08:43:24 PM: You learn every programming language that exists however your brain fries from over use.

I wish somebody would talk to me on msn :P
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on July 23, 2008, 01:19:40 AM: they do, you meet them, they're not the sweet little thing you hoped to pick up, but a grizzled 6'3" rapist called Gary, he kidnaps you takes you home keeps you in a basment and 'shares' you with his friends
I think that's spoiled

I wish I could find my car theory pass certificate so I can book my practical test (my room was cleaned, all my stuff is lost)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 23, 2008, 08:58:47 AM: You find it, and discover it's fake anyway.

I wish i was in bed.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 23, 2008, 09:17:13 AM: you are but then realise that your sahring it with a nest of army ants

(http://people.bu.edu/karitr/Neivamyrmex%2520punctaticeps%2520H4x.jpg)
bet you'd want to wake up with that in your face

i wish i had more money than Bill Gates
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 23, 2008, 09:23:43 AM: You get more moeny than bill gates...

... infortunately that's bill gates the tramp who has 10p and lives in Barnsley.

I wish for 10 wishes.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on July 23, 2008, 11:56:35 AM: you get them and they are all granted, but they are given in a way that grants them but not how you' want them

eg:
(http://www.smackjeeves.com/images/uploaded/comics/28d820d32982.jpg)

I wish I could sleep properly at night
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on July 23, 2008, 05:09:51 PM: you fall into a coma

i wish i had $1
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 23, 2008, 05:12:29 PM: You get it, then lose all the other money you have.

I wish for a quiet life.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on July 23, 2008, 05:18:39 PM: your ears fall off from underuse

i wish for new carpet
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 23, 2008, 05:28:39 PM: You get a new carpet. It is a 30x30 cm square.

I wsh for a barbequeue.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on July 23, 2008, 05:35:38 PM: You get a barbecue but one day while you are cooking up some steak, you accidentally drop a match next to the gas tank which you previously did not know had a hole, everything goes up in flames and the neighbors finally find several of your body, shredded 10 feet from the blast, your body is not whole.

I wish for an iphone.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on July 23, 2008, 06:20:15 PM: you receive a call one day and turn into a zombie along with half of the world, like that weird stephen king story

i wish my homework was finished
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 23, 2008, 08:32:52 PM: you finish it after wasting hours of your life only to find out it was the wrong work

i wish i help the world record for something
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on July 23, 2008, 10:19:45 PM: You apply to help for a record but dont know what,it turns out to be the longest time for not making a record.

I wish to get an A* in all my GCSE's
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on July 23, 2008, 11:43:18 PM: you do, after 30 years of desperate trying

Wish I could find a copy of BOF:4 for the PC (awesome PS1 game, I wanna complete it this time round though)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on July 24, 2008, 01:31:06 AM: You don't and resort to piracy, the FBI then crack down on you and you have to pay a hefty fine (hefty, hefty).
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on July 24, 2008, 09:33:30 PM: You didnt make a wish :P

I wish no-one spoils this wish.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 24, 2008, 09:38:49 PM: Fine, The game is now over and this awesome thread destroyed. Everyone leaves the forum, which had it been open would have attracted a random multimillionaire who would have left you thier whole fortune.

I wish for world peace.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on July 25, 2008, 08:49:42 AM: what one the utopian hippy world peace, or just no more war and fighting

I can ruin both scenarios :D

Utopian: Aliens invade, we're all enslaved, well done, we're all doomed

No war: The nuclear safeguards that act as a universal deterrent malfunction, well done, life as we know it has just ended

I wish people wouldn't keep wishing for world peace. It is a majorly flawed concept based around the ideal that everybody thinks like hippies and there aren't power hungry dirt bags who don't care what it takes to get, and stay, in power
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 25, 2008, 09:22:24 AM: but world peace is achieved and every1 turns to communism then one person rises to have absolute power over earth resulting in billions of deaths and countless genocides
earth is then invaded by aliens but are fought off with the cost of half the western hemisphere being a huge nuclear wasteland
then we develop AI to help us rebuild the planet but in the process the AI become to intelligant inslaving nearly the intirety of mankind and the few survivors only existing by living deep in the earths core but faighting against the AI through the very sydtem they created to contain humans (rest of story is the Matrix films basically)
then another alien invasion that forces mankind to flee earth whilst being chases by bloodthirsty aliens only to return 1000 years later with an army that could wipe out our solar system, then defeating the alien scourge but ruining the earth in the process then due to the humans wipeing out this alien menace with no mercy the rest of the universe then declare war upon mankind for the next 40,000 whilst fighting umongst themselves
then after opening a rift in the very fabric of time and space the entire universe is destroyed and God just sits back and laughs

i wish this story would make a good book
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on July 25, 2008, 02:02:04 PM: you make the book, but you then realise it's all in vain, you forgot to write a good story to go in it

I wish that there where less morons on the internet
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on July 25, 2008, 02:07:31 PM: Your wish comes true but you get so bored without them you become one yourself,thus getting kicked off the internet for mindless spamming.

I wish to get the new NOW! CD.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on July 25, 2008, 04:56:38 PM: you do and then have a spontaneous change in musical taste, and so you hate it

I wish I could get a reasonable date for my practical driving test, rather than when I'm starting Uni
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on July 26, 2008, 01:29:30 PM: You get the date you wanted but your driving instuctor suddenly gets 24 hour flu,so you get Mr Grumpy and fail your test
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 26, 2008, 07:19:05 PM: weres the wish for me to spoil....
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on July 26, 2008, 07:31:54 PM: Ohh ya...

I wish for england to have better summers
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on July 26, 2008, 07:34:29 PM: it does but then we are flooded with tourists due to spain and places similiar losing good summers and getting ones like england usually does

i wish that Diss wasnt so far away from Bourdeux
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on July 29, 2008, 09:52:10 AM: it becomes closer, but because the whole world is scaled down to tennis ball size, yay,end of life as we know it
I wish I could be bothered to make a wish
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on July 31, 2008, 06:27:41 PM: You bothered to make that wish but you die of over pushing yourself for the effort (I forgot the word,is it overexert)

I wish I can fly!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on July 31, 2008, 06:58:51 PM: you fly too close to the sun and your wax wings melt and you drown in the sea

i wish for unlimited time and resources
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on July 31, 2008, 07:34:59 PM: you get them, but other people become jelous so you go into hiding, get bored and DESTROY LIFE AS WE KNOW IT (I'm trying to theme mine) so you can rebuild life to suit your needs, it fails, you go into depression and kill yourself

I wish that there where some original games titles rather than the seemingly endless parade of sequels
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on August 01, 2008, 11:21:00 AM: they do as u wish but all these new games have lots of sequels and it starts again!

i wish ducks could talk (i mean quack :lol: ).
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 01, 2008, 11:46:47 AM: They start to talk but when you get one fresh from a farm to have for our sunday roast you hear it crying and pleading with the farmer and you commit suicide out of guilt.

I wish for a giant pot of jam that never goes mouldy or out of date :D
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 01, 2008, 03:09:24 PM: you get it, people then start to fight over the miracle that could end world hunger, after a while the decision goes out to share it, people then start to live off the jam, its sugary goodness causes worldwide tooth decay, meaning that people cant eat anything else, eventually, everybody dies of starvation, and its the END OF LIFE AS WE KNOW IT

had some trouble with that one

I wish I could keep up my apocalyptic spoiling of wishes
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on August 02, 2008, 01:54:03 AM: You do but then you see Apocalypto (the name is similar) and you die of depression.

I wish for another player to join mafia :(
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 02, 2008, 02:04:47 PM: And you get one (hint hint <_< ) but when the game starts your computer blows up so you cant host,and every computer you touch blows up.

I wish for a nice pair of these B)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 02, 2008, 09:31:56 PM: you get them, they give you laser eye powers, you cannot control this power and you (yeh you geussed it) END LIFE AS WE KNOW IT

I wish I could swallow an olypic pools worth of spagetti bolegnase in under 0.3 second, without dying
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 03, 2008, 01:52:47 PM: Why on earth would you want to do that?!!

Anyways...you do this wonderful deed of eating alot of spagetti but the swimmers have no where to swim now so they come after you and END LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT!

I wish my name was in green :)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on August 03, 2008, 09:22:32 PM: Jubak dies and you are promoted to root admin but you are so inept at your job forummers hire hackers to overthrow you.

I wish one LAST player would join the mafia so we could start.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 03, 2008, 09:35:04 PM: The last player joins but he/she yurns out to be a smurf and wins the game unfairly.

I wish someone would join the mafia too.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 04, 2008, 11:16:35 PM: they do, they are real Mafia, lose and take revenge on us all, horse heads for everyone
(I know its not apocalyptic but I don't have much to work with here, I FAIL)

I wish I could be more certain about things
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 17, 2008, 11:26:52 PM: I become certain that something I do in my future wont destroy the earth, I'm wrong and I end life as we know it

I wish that this thread will be revived by this effort
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 18, 2008, 02:07:46 PM: It is revived by the effort :D but too much effort is put in and everyone dies . How sad >_

I wish for a decent add to be on Exilian
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 18, 2008, 07:10:01 PM: you get a brilliant looking advert about destroying the earth, curious you click it and five seconds later the earth explodes, life has ended :P

I wish that my time in university goes well :D
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 18, 2008, 07:16:42 PM: Your time was ver very goood but it was to short as 3 seconds after the wish you got squished by a piano cartoon style.

I wish to go to the cinema (kill me outa that one :D)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 18, 2008, 08:11:42 PM: simple, terrorists attack the cinema, killing you, then the resulting retaliation strengthens the terrorists resolve, they get an atomic bomb and set it off, this then causes the west to retaliate with nuclear, and nuclear winter ensues and IT IS THE END OF LIFE AS WE KNOW IT

:D :D :D

I wish for Medieval 2:TW to be good (I just got it, was on offer
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 18, 2008, 08:17:33 PM: Its sooo good you cant leave it and die of thirst and hunger. (then your computer blows up ENDING LIFE AS WE KNOW IT LOLOLOL

I wish for stormcloud to not post a world ending post in this thread.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 18, 2008, 08:20:00 PM: Ok this is creepy... the ad thats at the bottom f my screen is about wishes coming true....and its an ad i like...thats rly wired...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on August 18, 2008, 09:40:16 PM: he dosent but then stormcloud ends up destroying the world for real as he cannot vent off his ideas through this forum

i wish people would be more imaginative with spoiling wishes
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 19, 2008, 12:14:39 AM: people get so imaginative that they have to start doing drugs to outdo each other, one by one we all OD
there I didn't end life as we know it, I do like having a theme, it gives me a place to work towards, think tedious link if you listen to chris moyles

ok I wish the french would stop assassinating my generals on M2:TW, I'm not even at war with the treacherous frog-munchers
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 19, 2008, 04:41:11 PM: They do but to compensate for the loss they come after you in real life and you get assassinated alone with all the people you know and love: DA END!

I wish for my webcam to stop breaking
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on August 19, 2008, 05:11:24 PM: it mysteriously starts working again only for it to of been hacked by a paedothile from Holland who starts watching you when you think the web cam is off...

i wish i had infinate money (i know its not a very good wish but i couldnt think of anything)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 19, 2008, 07:00:01 PM: because of the incredible amount of money you have you do not notice the syphoning off of billions of pounds by various criminal gangs, terrorist groups and corrupt governments. Using the power that comes with vast amounts of money these parties cause the world to descend into an anarchic state, the simple life of work and stress has been replaced by a constant fight for survival in a world ruled by fear

Is that imaginative enough?

I wish for a sample of the 16 million reserve (http://www.chilliworld.com/SP6.asp?p_id=63)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on August 19, 2008, 08:13:17 PM: They don't trust you with a sample andgive you a picture of it instead (sorry if i got that wrong i dont really know what the 16mil reserve is)

I wish for a modest 50 million dollars.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 19, 2008, 10:17:44 PM: I put a link in the text to a page with some info

16 million reserve is in fact pure capsaicin, I want some mainly out of curiosity, apparently a grain on the tongue feels like a hammer blow

there you go, more info should let you ruin it
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 19, 2008, 10:29:13 PM: It knocks you out, you fall out of a window and break your neck?

I wish for more sleep.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 20, 2008, 11:44:40 AM: you over sleep all the time and are always late for work school dates ect and you lose everything and commit suicide out of misery,but no one notices because you over slept the day you died.

I wish I can drive.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 20, 2008, 12:43:45 PM: You can now drive a tricycle like a pro.

I wish for Penty to turn up on time for once.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 20, 2008, 12:48:14 PM: he turns up on time because he becomes an obsessive compulsive zombie, he then proceeds to eat your braaaaaiiins and starts a zombie outbreak which wipes the human population of the face of the earth

I wish we could get more active members
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 20, 2008, 01:17:46 PM: We do but they are all mindless spammers and the forum is closed doww because all the smap is clogging up the internet(if thats possible)

I wish I could drive a CAR.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 20, 2008, 03:26:46 PM: your fisher price Lightning Mcqueen makes you the envy of 4 year olds everywhere

(http://www.mrtoys.com/fisher-price/pics/Disneys-Pixar-Cars-Lightning-McQueen-Ride-On-Car.jpg)

I wish for a better memory
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 20, 2008, 03:31:08 PM: Your brian over loads and you blow up,simple.

I WISH I CAN DRIVE A ROAD WORTHY CAR!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 20, 2008, 06:57:43 PM: I shall further delay the inevitable

Your driving skillz still don't mean you have a licence, yo get arrested, jailed and then shanked(stabbed) by candle haters

I wish for an olympic swimming pool of creme caramel :P so tasty
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 20, 2008, 08:14:27 PM: You dive in so eager to be the first to swim in it,too late to hear the warnings of the builders,and you drown a horrible drowning.

ok lets get this right,I wish to be able to drive a road worthy car legally WITHOUT it causing my death.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 20, 2008, 09:47:01 PM: you crash and cause a 30 car pile up on a motorway, you miraculously survive but are left paralysed from the neck down, you spend the rest of your life under the care of others, unable to do or achieve anything with your life, even if you could you still get nightmares about the 38 adults and 16 children you killed

I wish CN2 would let the driving thing go
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 21, 2008, 11:11:16 AM: I let the driving thing go,thus meaning I dont post anymore and you die of misery.

I wish my hair didnt grow curly
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on August 21, 2008, 11:55:01 AM: It stops growing altogether and you go bald and die of hyperthermia

I wish I had a better PC
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on August 22, 2008, 01:43:37 AM: I replace your current one. (Get it...? PC, Private Clark...eh? hehe)

I wish my helmet had gold lining.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 22, 2008, 10:33:30 AM: You get a helmet with a glden lining and you polish it to perfection,but *oh no's* it shines so much you blind a helecopter pilot and he squiges you.

I wish it would stop raining so much
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 22, 2008, 12:04:00 PM: It stops raining altogether so nobody can grow food and we all starve to death

I wish that my nose would stop bleeding
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 22, 2008, 12:27:48 PM: It stops bleeding but the blood has nowhere to go so you explode from to much blood,lovely :D

I wissth I didnth havth a lispth.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 22, 2008, 12:49:51 PM: You lose what defines you and have to go though a dull life of regularism making you depresses so you commit suicide

I shall postpone my wish till I'm back from the dentist
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 22, 2008, 05:14:12 PM: I wish my mum wouldn't care about my overbite so much. There are no medical implications and I don't want both my jaws broken for the sake of appearance
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 22, 2008, 06:26:48 PM: You dont have whatever you were going to do and everyone screams at how ugly your overbite is and faints when the see it.

I wish these wishes came true.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 22, 2008, 06:57:40 PM: they do but their runinations also happen, so the world ends (many time over) we all die, you finally pass your driving test and cause the horrific crash, etc etc

I wish I was a ninja :ph43r: (for want of a better wish)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 22, 2008, 07:56:24 PM: All of a sudden after you become a ninja,hunting ninjas becomes legal to replace fox hunting and you are mercilessly hunted down and killed.

I wish the ivy around my house didnt grow so quick.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Private Clark on August 22, 2008, 11:36:38 PM: The ivy disapears completly, however the next night there is a fire and your door is blocked, the only way out is out the window and down the ivy, however: Oh Noes! its not there any more!

I wish i knew what firedog was (see ad below post box)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on August 23, 2008, 10:54:56 AM: you later returm to this topic to see if firedogs dtill there
BUT ALAS
firedog has been replaced with the mother of all broadband and you never find out who or what firedog is

I wish i was the worlds greatest painter!!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 23, 2008, 11:43:05 AM: you become as better than Van Gough but madder as him as well so you cut both your ears off

I wish my cat hadn't woken me up at 5am
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on August 23, 2008, 12:45:57 PM: You go back in time to stop your cat waking you up, but in doing so cause a paradox in the space-time continuum and the entire world is torn apart.

I wish I didn't have to sort out my forms for Uni
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 23, 2008, 03:22:04 PM: you don't and you don't get in
(where are you going)
I wish that Leicester would hurry up in telling me what accommodation I am in
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 26, 2008, 02:13:33 PM: You put to much pressure on them to hurry up and they do but in being hurried they didnt relise they gave you the worst room in the whole place and with the worst roommate to top.

I wish christmas was on the Exilian Calendar.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on August 26, 2008, 05:30:18 PM: we then get massive amounts of hate mail from religious groups because their holidays aren't on it, then some extremists come and kill us

I wish for good rolls on my upcoming 40k battle
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 05, 2008, 12:47:45 PM: I get them then in my next battle I get godawful rolls and lose

Horrifiaclly

I wish I could start today again, knowing what happens, so I could pass my driving test
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 05, 2008, 05:29:12 PM: yOU START AGAIN BUT BY AVOIDING THE BAD THINGS YOU RUN INTO EVEN WORSE THINGS AND END UP KILLING YOURSELF.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 05, 2008, 06:59:27 PM: lemme guess your wish is to remeber when you use caps locks
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 05, 2008, 07:06:20 PM: Oops again... and Oops again...

I wish for a better french class.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on September 09, 2008, 06:23:27 PM: Your French class becomes so utterly amazing that you are chucked out of it for not being good enough.

I wish my toe didn't hurt any more

[Ingrown toenail - ouch!]
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 09, 2008, 06:36:34 PM: Yur toe hurts no more. Unfortunately, that's because I cut your foot off with a battleaxe (your ankle now hurts quite a bit more than your toe ever did).

I wish I was more clever.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 09, 2008, 07:08:37 PM: You get to clever for your brain and it blows up leaving you a mindless zombie who does the dishes for KFC.

Wow what a bad fate...

I wish for more practical work in P.D
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 09, 2008, 11:32:44 PM: you get it, but in the wrong PD you get it in paedophile distraction :lol:

errm, I wish my homeplanet would stop being attacked so I can actually go explore further into the galaxy on spore
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 13, 2008, 01:27:39 PM: er, :blink:
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on September 14, 2008, 12:47:48 AM: Your homeplanet stops getting attacked, but this is only because it has been completely obliterated, apart from a tiny chunk on which you are standing. The attacks also destroyed the entire rest of the universe, planets and stars. You are now the only being in existence, drifting on a piece of rock. Have fun.

I wish I had never been never born

(Try spoiling that one!)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 14, 2008, 03:01:46 PM: You were not born so you didnt post a wish so you get banned from the forum for not being real :blink:

I wish my printer worked
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 14, 2008, 07:44:06 PM: It does, but converts all print jobs to Nazi propaganda and when you read it you turn into the new Hitler, and cause WW3 that (all together now) ENDS THE WORLD :D

I wish our kittens weren't so terrified of being handled
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on September 15, 2008, 07:18:11 PM: your kittens become easy to handle but go mental and start attacking you

i wish i was a duck!

(ruin that 1 lol!)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Son of the King on September 15, 2008, 07:32:33 PM: You become a duck but get eaten by a fox :P.

I wish that I hadn't accidentally deleted outlook express from my comp...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on September 15, 2008, 07:37:21 PM: you get outlook back but it has a viruse had destoys yor comp

i wish i dont get eaten by a fox! :D
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 15, 2008, 07:53:34 PM: you don't become a duck so you can't get eaten by the fox

I wish my laptop was good enough to play fallout 3
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on September 15, 2008, 11:13:46 PM: You get a laptop good enoough to play fallout 3, but it is nowhere near good enough to play ETW, and you die of misery.

I wish I didn't have to think of a stupid wish.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 15, 2008, 11:35:52 PM: you don't this thread ends and we all die of boredom

I wish I could sleep properly
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on September 16, 2008, 05:57:49 PM: you sleep proberly but in your sleep u get eaten by a giant fox like me :(
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 16, 2008, 07:18:38 PM: you remeber to write a wish but it's rubbish so we all taunt you to death for being so rubbish

I wish people would always rember to make their wish
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 17, 2008, 08:03:40 PM: People remember to make a wish but because they do they all come true :o OMG !

Just to annoy ;D
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on September 18, 2008, 08:28:41 PM: lol u forgot to make a wish to :lol:

i wish i could remember my old signature!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 18, 2008, 10:37:42 PM: you do but then your computer crashes whenever it displays it you die of a combination of frustration at the computer, and boredom for not being able to access these forums
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on September 19, 2008, 06:13:46 PM: u forgot to make a wish o well

i wish for world peace :lol:
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on September 19, 2008, 08:43:37 PM: omg easiest to spoil ever

world peace is acheived. Man dumps its weapons in antartica.
penguins discover the weapons and use them in a merciless campaign of world domination. Man is wiped out__ penguins rule the planet!

i wish mods could do what Penty done
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on September 20, 2008, 11:05:52 AM: ok... good for the penguins

ure wich comes true but then then u die nd never get to enjoy your wish :lol:

i wish i had more posts
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on September 20, 2008, 01:31:23 PM: You get more posts but realise that your internet dosen't work anymore so you can't go on here anymore and you kill yourself.

i wish i had money
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on September 20, 2008, 02:41:08 PM: You are given all the money in the world but before you can spend it, the global currency is changed to ducks, and it becomes worthless.

I wish I had a spare
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on September 20, 2008, 04:51:04 PM: you get the
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on September 20, 2008, 09:57:23 PM: Quote
because it is such a good game
*Bursts out laughing*

Every single duck is killed, but then it is discovered that their livers are the only known cure for a new supervirus that sweeps across the world, killing everybody.

I wish... Oh, I wish... I do wish I could go to the ball, Buttons.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 20, 2008, 10:15:01 PM: You can go to the ball, but BUTTONS CAN'T COME.

I want a :ph43r:
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 21, 2008, 07:10:43 PM: you get a ninja, your house is then raided by pirates, you and your ninja are killed

I wish I knew what to expect in uni
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on September 21, 2008, 11:56:45 PM: You are suddenly enlightened, but the realisation is so terrible you jump off a cliff, crack every bone in your body and puncture your liver, and are left broken on the rocks, dying slowly and painfully.

Send us a postcard.

I wish there were more hours in the day.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 22, 2008, 11:12:22 AM: there are more hours in the day, but you sleep through them, so nothing changes

I cba to kill atm

I wish I didn't have so much stuff to pack
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on September 23, 2008, 08:06:45 PM: you don't but then realise that you didnt pack enough!

i wish girls were more understandable
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 23, 2008, 08:21:28 PM: you wake a girl, no better way to understand them than a frightening and impossible body morph to make you one.
Unfortunately you become suicidal through the mental trauma

I wish my cat gets well soon
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on September 24, 2008, 05:05:17 PM: Your cat gets better, but not before passing its illness on to you.

I wish it was the weekend again
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 24, 2008, 05:54:26 PM: Its the weekend again, but you have to do all the same stuuf again and you die of bordem.

I wish we didnt have to sing in french at school.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on September 24, 2008, 06:46:06 PM: you dont but them they make you sing in Gujerati!

(lol i agree we have to sing this crazy french alphabet song)

i wish i had the Deamonhunters Codex
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 24, 2008, 08:18:59 PM: that's hardly a wish worth ruining

Ok you get it then they release the new one

I wish my cat didn't hate his medication so much
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on September 24, 2008, 09:39:33 PM: he doesn't but sadly he deis due to not taking his medicene

i wish i had admin powers
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 24, 2008, 09:42:22 PM: You get them after five years of great effort. Then the site crashes.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 24, 2008, 10:35:43 PM: you wish your dragons would grow faster?
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 25, 2008, 06:17:00 PM: They grow too much and eat you :P

I wish... I had a big fluffy bomber jacket.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on September 25, 2008, 07:25:36 PM: you get one but then everyone laughs at how stupid you look you then kill yourself

i wish spam duels would stop happening to me every evening
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on September 25, 2008, 08:37:22 PM: they do but instead get into real duels and die

i wish i had a green name
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on September 25, 2008, 09:24:54 PM: you get one but so does everyone else

i wish i had a shotgun
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 26, 2008, 12:55:03 AM: they stop happening because Exilian becomes deserted, how dull life would be
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on September 26, 2008, 02:59:31 PM: Stormcloud wishes he had seen those two other posts
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on September 26, 2008, 04:58:08 PM: he doe see over two posts...

i wish ducks weren't real (then we wouldn't be talking about them all the time)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 26, 2008, 06:28:14 PM: Well without ducks the economy crashes to subzero and america decide to blow up russia then the world ends.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on September 26, 2008, 09:07:59 PM: and you wish you had posted a wish
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 26, 2008, 11:50:02 PM: it turns out to be a rubbish wish and we all taunt you for it, you fall into depression and kill yourself

I wish my room was easier to sort out
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on September 27, 2008, 10:49:42 AM: your room is now very easy to sort out but when you go out and come back again, you find it ni a mess

i wish someone WOULD blow up russia
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 27, 2008, 11:03:35 AM: They blow up Russia, but at the last second of his life Putin fires his whole Nuclear arsenal and blows everyone else up.

I wish for DEATH AND GLORY!
And cake. Definitely cake too.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 27, 2008, 11:16:44 AM: The cake is a lie :o

I wish uni goes well
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 27, 2008, 12:04:58 PM: It goes up in a massive explosion perfectly.

I wish someone would help with the constitiution more.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 27, 2008, 01:14:49 PM: They do but they end up replacing you. ( I have no idea what it is so this will have to do :blink:)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on September 27, 2008, 01:22:34 PM: you wish you had made a wish
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 27, 2008, 01:26:53 PM: Yes I do! but the wish was so bad it ended up killing this thread!

I wish my wish wasnt so bad.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 27, 2008, 10:08:50 PM: it's better but still not good enough to keep the thread alive

I wish I could remeber where I put my earphones
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on September 28, 2008, 03:13:57 PM: You remember that you left them in the cat's food dish. That is probably why its making that funny noise...

I wish I wasn't feeling so light-headed.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 28, 2008, 05:44:27 PM: You get to haevy headed and go top heavy and die.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on September 28, 2008, 07:16:31 PM: you wish you had posted a wish (again)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 28, 2008, 07:34:47 PM: Dang why do I keep forgeting, thats the best bit...

I wish I didnt have french tomorrow.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on September 28, 2008, 08:43:09 PM: you don't but have Gujerati instead

i wish mafia was getting along quicker
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 29, 2008, 10:33:01 AM: It goes along so fast you miss it

I wish there wasn't a street lamp outside my bloody window
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on September 29, 2008, 12:38:10 PM: It is moved so it is outside your door instead.

I wish I wasn't such a slow worker
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 29, 2008, 02:18:34 PM: you work so fat the friction causes a fire in which you die

I wish myself luck
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on September 29, 2008, 04:45:52 PM: you get luck but you get so lucky every1 hates you and kills you

i wish i was at least number 5 in the top 10 posters
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 29, 2008, 04:48:17 PM: You are no 5, but its only out of 5.

I wish the mafia was going quicker too.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on September 29, 2008, 04:49:16 PM: nnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo not out of 5!

u forgot to make a wish?
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 29, 2008, 04:52:59 PM: I wish you saw my other wish :)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on September 29, 2008, 05:04:56 PM: eerr i do see it but it is really bad so u kill yourself

i wish for cheese!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 29, 2008, 06:03:20 PM: You get a little crumb and starve.

I ish I was going to Dinsneyland now instead of christmas.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 29, 2008, 07:29:26 PM: you do and your plane crashes into an orphanage killing all on board and every poor child one the ground, everybody at the crash site is dead.....
apart from you, but the scene of devastation leaves you in a mentally retracted state and you live the rest of your life in a mental hospital, sobbing as you are fed by syringe.
(Pulling out all the stops :D)

I wish my first lecture goes well
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on September 29, 2008, 07:39:51 PM: it goes too well and you are so gripped by it you forget to eat and drink therefore dying of fatigue

i wish Lewis Hamilton wins the F1 championship
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 30, 2008, 12:14:58 AM: he does but he gets a tire blow out just after he passes the finishing line, he crashes and dies

I wish I could get a good nights sleep
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 30, 2008, 04:27:21 PM: You over sleep and miss your exams.

I wish for a bigger pocket.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on September 30, 2008, 05:17:19 PM: u get a bigger pocket but it dosnt come with the trousers....

i wish for no homework!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on September 30, 2008, 05:19:43 PM: you get none but school is increased to 13 hours a day

i wish mafia was a bit quicker
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 01, 2008, 05:33:37 PM: its too quick and you die in 2 hours.

I wish for a duck
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 01, 2008, 06:24:03 PM: you get one but Gmd steals it and you commit suicide from depression

i wish i could do well at english
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 01, 2008, 06:46:04 PM: You do so wll you forget how to do math and you get a U in your tests.

I wish more people were on msn.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on October 01, 2008, 07:02:47 PM: more people go on MSN but so many go on that they have to close it down due to congestion so you commit suicide

I wish i was smart
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 01, 2008, 07:33:13 PM: gd joke lol

u get so smart everyone hates you and they kill you

i wish i had courage to ask out girls
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 01, 2008, 07:39:48 PM: you get it and die fro over exposure to lipstick (lol)

I wish my hall didn't have such adodgy internet connection
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 01, 2008, 08:04:25 PM: Its soo good the other dorms want it, so they tie you up in a corner to use it.

I wish there was a ashamed smiley on Exilian.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 01, 2008, 08:11:20 PM: you get one but it is way too shameful to evert use

I wish I hadn't uninstalled nero, because as irritating as it was VLC doesn't play DVDs anywhere near as well
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 02, 2008, 07:01:46 PM: You didnt uninstall it but it had a virus and it breaks your computer.

I wish I was going out on sunday at 2 pm instead of 11 am
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 02, 2008, 07:14:55 PM: you do because you fly to another country first and suffer terrible jet lag
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 02, 2008, 08:19:54 PM: wish? :D
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 02, 2008, 08:37:03 PM: i wish people would stop forgetting to wish
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 02, 2008, 10:01:26 PM: I wish I had made a wish
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 03, 2008, 06:52:54 PM: You do but its such a terrible wish it kiills the thread.

I wish for a bowl of weetabix and milk,but not mouldy milk
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 03, 2008, 07:52:07 PM: you get it but with sour milk (not mouldy milk), it tastes so bad you can't belive you wasted a wish on it
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 03, 2008, 08:04:33 PM: wiiish!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 03, 2008, 08:28:46 PM: I wish you would change your sig, the colours burn the eyes
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 03, 2008, 08:45:23 PM: I change it to a more abnoxious sig and your eyes melt.

I wish I was a better speller.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 03, 2008, 11:11:50 PM: you become the worlds best speller, then discover spell checkers

I wish I didn't get lost so easily
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 04, 2008, 09:32:06 PM: You dont get lost EVER and when you finally have kids and go to the famous Maize maze you have no fun whatsoever as you can find your way out blindfolded.

I wish for a genie(sp?) lamp like the one in aladin
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 04, 2008, 09:38:15 PM: you get one but the genie only speaks arabic and you cant wish to speak arabic you commit suicide because of annoyance

i wish i could do homework well
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 04, 2008, 09:39:39 PM: You do it so well the teachers think you are chaeting and chuckyou out of school
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 04, 2008, 09:41:34 PM: a wish?
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 04, 2008, 09:42:41 PM: I wish for an automatic wish maker
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 04, 2008, 09:44:51 PM: you get one put it posts the same wishes over and over again
this thread is therefore destroyed

i wish i had a nuclear bomb :ph43r:
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 04, 2008, 09:46:17 PM: You blow yourself up like this:

KAABBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

I wish you didnt kill me with a nuke :(
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 04, 2008, 09:47:54 PM: i dont but instead kill everything else you die for fatigue

i wish i had a gay bomb (purely for comical effect)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 04, 2008, 10:44:22 PM: You get an armed gay bomb and it goes off in your house, and it affects the surrounding area, well done you create a giant gay orgy, also well done everyone dies of sex related fatigue or heavy anal perforation.

I wish I could figure this ridiculously stupid timetable out
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 05, 2008, 06:18:57 PM: You figure it out, but realise it's for the wrong course.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 05, 2008, 07:29:55 PM: Once upon a time there was a wish...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 05, 2008, 07:38:58 PM: that jubal forgot to say...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 05, 2008, 09:14:43 PM: so then we all mocked him,
and said that he was gay!

jk :lol:
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on October 06, 2008, 09:44:36 AM: I wish upon a star
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 06, 2008, 05:45:41 PM: I wish upon a rock
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 06, 2008, 08:17:07 PM: 'when you wish upon a star....'
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 06, 2008, 09:10:38 PM: You get the star hurtling to earth, wiping out nearly all sentient life. The remaining inhabitants of the planet are a race of purely evil dwarfs who, having nothing else to do, torture the remining rats and roaches by playing Celine Dion records on randomise.

They wear earplugs.

I wish for glory and victory!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 06, 2008, 09:12:59 PM: you get then all be it after you have wiped out the entire planet with a bloody nuclear war

i wish i was admin
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 06, 2008, 09:14:54 PM: You get to be admin for half a minute... I then IP ban you.

I wish this thread would FRIGGING DIE ALREADY!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 06, 2008, 09:16:42 PM: it does but through a secret underground (underweb?) movement it is brought back and you are undone

i wish i had an ASIMO
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 06, 2008, 09:21:16 PM: You get an Asynchronous Suicidal Imbalanced Masochistice Ostritch.

I wiash I had a pen.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 06, 2008, 09:22:04 PM: you wiash you had a pen so you get a ruler instead

i wish people could all spell
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 06, 2008, 09:22:40 PM: They can, then they forget how to wirte in the first place.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 06, 2008, 09:23:16 PM: you wish everyone remebered to wish
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 06, 2008, 09:24:18 PM: I do.

I also wish for a magical fairy to give me three wishes.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 06, 2008, 09:25:27 PM: you get them but waste then on rubbish stuff like

i wish i had a cheeseburger
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 06, 2008, 09:26:34 PM: You get one. they failed to put gherkins in.

I wish I could go to bed.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 06, 2008, 09:28:21 PM: thats a good thing about no gherkins....

so my wish was not spoilt!!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 06, 2008, 09:28:35 PM: Jubal has Failed!!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 06, 2008, 09:36:26 PM: What? You don't like gherkins?

I'm apalled.

I wish for MORE GHERKINS!!!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 06, 2008, 10:24:46 PM: you get killed by a gherkin avalanche!

I wish I didn't have a cold
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 07, 2008, 04:40:49 PM: you don't have a cold instead its BIRD FLU!!!

i wish i had lots of money
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: airborne on October 07, 2008, 04:56:36 PM: you get lots of money but find out that its all fake.

I wish for brothers in arms hell's highway?
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 07, 2008, 05:26:58 PM: You get it for the wrong console

I wish the buses weren't so bad
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on October 08, 2008, 04:54:00 PM: They're not, but the trains get so bad they explode. With you on them

I wish I had all Jubal's gherkins
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 08, 2008, 06:56:25 PM: You are carefully stacking Jubals gherkins in a lorry, to transport to your hidden gherkin shelter, when they fall and come tumbling down upon you

I wish I knew.......
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 08, 2008, 09:04:43 PM: You know. The knowledge scars your mind.

I wish for slightly less gherkins, but still plenty?
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 08, 2008, 09:47:03 PM: you get the right amount of gherkins but then for a completely unknown reason you hate gherkins and starve to death

I wish people didnt just think of me as a good way of getting their homework right
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 08, 2008, 11:14:49 PM: You start getting it horribly wrong

I wish that my block had hot water in the mornings
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 09, 2008, 04:23:07 PM: it does but it comes out 80 degress!

you all die from scolding

i wish that i was a ninja :ph43r:
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 09, 2008, 05:58:41 PM: Pirates kill you

I wish I didn't sleep through two alarms this morning
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 09, 2008, 07:35:49 PM: you don't but then you cant get back to sleep and you die of fatigue

i wish i had a robot servant
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on October 10, 2008, 03:10:11 PM: A robot gets you as its human servant.

I wish my writing and modding wasn't being squeezed out of the way by work.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 14, 2008, 02:31:56 PM: You don't work so run out of money and end up as a street bum, you lose your writing and modding skills though not having access to the tools

I wish I could get a bus pass
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on October 14, 2008, 04:53:50 PM: You are suddenly aged by 70 years and get an old age bus pass.

I wish I could remember
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 14, 2008, 06:16:54 PM: You remeber growing from a single cell, but through experimentation with drugs, [tangent] but cells have no minds, so it is more a hallucination [/tangent] you are so engrossed with it you go deeper and deeper into drug enhanced trances till you OD and die

I wish I could finish a game on Gal Civ 2
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on October 14, 2008, 11:07:17 PM: Quote
till you OD and die

Heh. Outside Discussions. ;)

You finish a game, then realise it was all a dream.

I wish I had more interesting dreams.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 14, 2008, 11:14:30 PM: They become more intresting, but you can't remember them ever again, so they are wasted

I wish I knew why Gal Civ 2 keeps crashing, I have the latest version and everything
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on October 14, 2008, 11:19:24 PM: You know why, but it is utterly unfixable.

I wish I knew why I am not asleep already
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 14, 2008, 11:28:37 PM: You know, so you now have a perfectly good reason not to sleep EVER AGAIN

I wish I had more 10am starts like tomorrow
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on October 16, 2008, 06:18:31 PM: I don't want to spoil that because I wish for the exact same thing. Except I don't have one tomorrow...

I also wish had more 10am starts
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 17, 2008, 12:29:48 AM: you finish at 9 am the day after you start, 23/7 work time
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 17, 2008, 12:36:00 AM: I wish that the main reception stayed open long enough so I could get my post on days other that saturday ( 9-5 opening most days I work 9-5)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 18, 2008, 09:58:39 PM: its now open 9pm to 5am you fail your courses due to fatigue

(W0000T!!!! 1000th POST!!!)

i wish i knew how SC manged to get his post count soo high
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on October 18, 2008, 10:06:28 PM: you know, and realise you could never do it

I wish my Monty python poster would stop falling off the wall
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 18, 2008, 10:09:55 PM: its stops falling off the wall but the wall falls on you

i wish i know what to wish for
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on October 20, 2008, 05:11:29 PM: you realise you know what you want to wish for but a wall falls on you and you suffer memory loss and forget again

i wish that i was smarter than i am now
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on October 20, 2008, 05:12:39 PM: you are you finally know why 2 + 2 = 4

i wish i had 5000 posts
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on October 20, 2008, 05:16:04 PM: you get 5000 posts but then you house falls on you and you die and never get on here again

i wish that i knew the reason why 2 + 2 = 4
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on October 20, 2008, 05:54:52 PM: The deep understanding of mathematical logic and the fabric of reality is so minD-boggling you forget what 2+2 was in the first place.

I wish a wall would fall on me for once
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on October 20, 2008, 06:18:32 PM: a wall does fall on you but you susatin injuries so horrific you can never talk or move again

i wish school wasnt so BORING
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on October 20, 2008, 06:44:01 PM: School is so fun, when you have to leave you die of misery and want to go back.

I wish I didnt have to come home from florida :(
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on November 07, 2008, 06:50:38 PM: you dont but all the americans start hating you and u get murdered

i wish the TV show harry hills tv burp was longer than half an hour
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on November 08, 2008, 01:38:21 AM: Harry hill dies from exhaustion

I wish I cold play Fallout 3 on more than lowest graphics settings without blowing my graphics card
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on November 13, 2008, 06:54:07 PM: you can but then your computer blows up!

i wish i didnt have to do about 4 bits of hw tonight :(
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on November 14, 2008, 01:53:20 AM: You don't you forgot one, you have to do 5 bits

I wish that my answers were right more often
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on November 14, 2008, 02:02:09 AM: You are always right and you become unbearable to live with, so everyone runs away from you and you are all alone...

I wish I cared that I haven't done my work for Physics
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on November 14, 2008, 03:41:49 PM: YOU DO, YOU GET DEPRESSED ND COMMIT SUICIDE

allcaps = effect

I wish I had botered to type that out again rather than have it allcaps
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on November 14, 2008, 09:12:14 PM: You did, but by the time you had someone had posted before you

I wish I didn't feel so terrible right now
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on November 27, 2008, 08:31:25 PM: it is no longer right now, you slip into a different timeframe, and still feel terrible

I wish I could finish my mission plan to Saturn before tomorrow
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on November 27, 2008, 08:36:53 PM: You finish it in a rush but realise it is wrong too late and fly into the sun.

I wish I wasnt so busy
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on November 28, 2008, 05:37:28 PM: You're not, cos its the weekend. But you get too relaxed and FORGET TO DO YOUR WORK OH NOES!!

I wish I did well in my THREE exams I had today.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on November 28, 2008, 06:22:02 PM: you do well in all three, but you don't do well in any others

(btw I had a day with 5 exams at AS level, I had to stay till 4:45)

I wish that my planetary exploration work gets a good mark
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on November 28, 2008, 06:56:49 PM: It gtes the mark you wanted, shame you get a U in everything else...

I wish I got my voice back ( I lost it yesterday :( )
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on November 28, 2008, 09:45:17 PM: You find it but it has turned into that of a 8 year old girl, you live the rest of your life having a squeaky annoying voice that attracts pedos

I wish you could all have seen the epic scene that happened to me on fallout 3
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on December 01, 2008, 01:08:19 PM: I did, but you didnt because it was soo coll me being there you turned blind
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on December 01, 2008, 01:11:44 PM: Sorry about the double post but the edit button isnt working and I forgot a wish...

I wish I had a multi colour i-Pod
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on December 01, 2008, 06:59:49 PM: you get one, in the gay pride colours and get ridiculed by narrow minded friends

I wish labs didn't suck so bad
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on December 02, 2008, 02:53:48 PM: they make them shiny and new but they are so shiny that they permenately blind you

i wish i wish i was a fish... actually, a DUCK!!!!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on December 02, 2008, 05:59:31 PM: nnnnooooooooooooo that my wish!! i not going to spoil that 1 so sorry i have no objection to people becoming ducks :lol:

i wish to be a Duck too!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on December 02, 2008, 08:06:58 PM: Didn't you get eaten last time?
well it happens again

I wish for a clear night over the weekend
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on December 03, 2008, 05:17:29 PM: it is clear but then rains for the next 1000000000000000 years until everybody gets bored of it

i wish i had a gun (not to shoot ducks of course!...)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on December 03, 2008, 05:36:08 PM: yay!!! dont kill the ducks( goldy what is you suden like for ducks usually i say the work duck and u already have your shotgun loaded :lol: )

you get a gun but i gess you shoot yourself with it because i shoot it backwards
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on December 03, 2008, 06:09:48 PM: i bet you wish you had posted a wish

i wish i would never forget to post a wish
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on December 03, 2008, 06:11:17 PM: you do but it so rubbish we all die of bordom

i wish i could fly!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on December 03, 2008, 07:01:21 PM: you can fly, but get captured and resaerched on

I wish my rocket goes spectacularly
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on December 03, 2008, 07:13:35 PM: Your rocket goes off in your face spectacularly

I wish I could get this blasted mod finished sooner
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on December 03, 2008, 10:01:14 PM: you do but its to soon and every1 is looking at amother mod and noone pays any attention to yours :(

i wish i had exilian powers
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on December 04, 2008, 08:30:34 PM: You get some, but not the ones you wanted and Penty comes after you because you wrecked his sig with your new found powers.

I wish more people talked more on MSN
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on December 06, 2008, 02:58:07 PM: I am, you bore me, you boring person

I wish the weather remains clear for the weekend (astronomy and rocket launches :D)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on December 30, 2008, 10:13:11 PM: It does, but then there are floods, cyclones and lightning storms for the next million years.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on December 30, 2008, 10:13:41 PM: It does, but then there are floods, cyclones and lightning storms for the next million years.

I wish people would join this new forum... http://lordshipoftheisles.webs.com/apps/forums/ (http://lordshipoftheisles.webs.com/apps/forums/)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on December 31, 2008, 11:52:57 AM: The arm of trolls who wrote encyclopaedia dramatica join and it becomes really bad

I wish that link worked so I could have a look see
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on December 31, 2008, 12:25:30 PM: oh err.. take away anything past the .com and your wish will coe true ^^

I wish for something that cannot end up with me dieing, like a non-chokeable rubber duck
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on December 31, 2008, 12:28:58 PM: wait scrap that, the link does work (sorry bout 2 posts)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on January 07, 2009, 06:46:24 PM: u get a non chockable rubber duck most liely a gift from me lol
but it pecks your eyes out and u become blind :(

i wish for more time off school like a 4 day week
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 07, 2009, 07:56:01 PM: you end up not getting enough time in class and get trebled homework (even from french class :()

I wish Tippler (my big fat physics book) was less of a god and easier to understand
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 13, 2009, 07:16:23 PM: Its a book? You put it in the shredder? You dont do well at school?

I wish I didnt take french for GCSE
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on January 13, 2009, 09:43:13 PM: you don't so you are stuck with child development instead

i wish i could read minds
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 13, 2009, 09:44:34 PM: Your head blows up.

I wish the dude who was 60 stone didnt get so fat.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on January 13, 2009, 09:46:05 PM: he dosent you do instead

i wish games workshop took work experience
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 13, 2009, 09:47:42 PM: Your head blows up.

I wish DD didnt keep on blowing up his head.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 14, 2009, 12:51:03 AM: Your head blows up instead

I wish this won't become a trend
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 14, 2009, 07:22:54 PM: It doesnt cus your head blows up so no-one is around to keep the trend ^^

I wish I had a more comfy hair style...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 14, 2009, 11:16:33 PM: You get one then your hair falls out

I wish I had less maths todo
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on January 15, 2009, 08:01:55 PM: your head blows up

i wish i could understand more
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: airborne on January 15, 2009, 08:13:14 PM: your head blows up from information overload.

i wish heads don't blow up.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 16, 2009, 09:06:32 AM: They don't they just ignite instead

I wish my head was fireproof
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 16, 2009, 05:57:15 PM: Its fire proof, but not blow up proof so it blows up. ( Nice lil tend here init :) )

I wish my head and the rest of my body, and family/ freinds were inpervious to any pain/mutation/ignition/blowy uppy
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 17, 2009, 01:25:02 AM: world ends but due to your imperviousness you survive, you have to rebuild the human race, WITH YOUR MUM AND CLOSEST FREINDS

I wish I hadn't opened all these tabs and read all these messages, I wanna sleep, not post
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 18, 2009, 02:37:47 PM: I would not mind doing that Jubal, close friends also means GF's :D

You Dont open any tabs what so ever, but your computer notes the lack of use of tabs and never lets you use them again.

I wish I didnt have a hangover...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 18, 2009, 10:56:44 PM: yeah but if it was just GF then you would end up having large amounts of freak children in a few generations

Your head explodes, you no longer have a hangover
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 19, 2009, 05:53:26 PM: Gah!

I wish for neater hand writing, and for people to make wishes
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 19, 2009, 06:50:44 PM: You get neat hand writing, but you take ages to write anything

I'm afraid the wish thing is just human error

I wish physics engines from games to be re-named Newtonian mechanics engines
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on January 20, 2009, 02:48:28 AM: They are renamed to Newt Onion Mechanics And Gin.

I wish I wasn't nearly 18 OH TEH NOES
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 20, 2009, 10:13:01 AM: You're now nearly 93

I wish for clear skies
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 20, 2009, 05:53:39 PM: They are too clear and the sun burns you to a crisp

I wish girls didnt make me play the waiting game... Its like GAH!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on January 20, 2009, 09:18:04 PM: they dont and you are swamped by all the girls you like at the same time giving you an ultimatum that you kill yourself over

i wish that girls were not so confusing
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 20, 2009, 09:27:07 PM: They arnt, but you are.

I wish Yousef wasnt so stubborn!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 21, 2009, 02:56:08 AM: He (guessing) changes his name, now he is Jimmyuflyinglots and is still as stubborn as ever

I wish Microsoft didn't stuff up Fallout 3 by buying up rights on all offical downloadable content, then making PC users have to install theeir stupid moronic games for windows software to play the damn game anyway
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 21, 2009, 07:26:30 PM: They ban it on PC all together to resolve this

I wish I was as good at ice skating as I am at normal skating
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 21, 2009, 07:36:30 PM: You get much worse at normal skating

I wish my rent would leave me with some of my student loan
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 21, 2009, 07:51:44 PM: It does, but to cover the money you have to be raped each week.

I wish for moniez
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 22, 2009, 08:52:00 AM: You get a french man (http://www.facebook.com/people/Damien-Moniez/566864352)

I wish your spoil made sense grammatically
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 22, 2009, 05:51:30 PM: It does but you cannot read it for your eyes burn out

I wish He would accept my friend request on Facebook instead of blocking me...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 22, 2009, 08:13:43 PM: He accepts it and then harasses you

I wish I knew about my seminar work that is in for tomorrow before today, I thought I had a lucky break
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 22, 2009, 09:09:25 PM: You do, but you do lots of work for nothing because your teacher falls ill and you dont have to give it in anymore.

I wish I knew what you meant.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 23, 2009, 12:40:31 AM: you know, it's not all that exciting, you wasted your wish and fall into depression

I wich I could think of an epic physics based quip to put on our years hoodies
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on January 23, 2009, 06:00:48 PM: You do, but they kill you cus they dont like it

I wish My iPod had more memory
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on January 24, 2009, 02:21:04 AM: it remembers every time you mistreat it, and plots its inanimate revenge [ninja]

I wish i get that piece of BB code right (I meant :ph43r: which make no sense)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Silver Wolf on January 31, 2009, 01:00:22 PM: I wish world Peace ! :lol:
PS. sorry I can't spoil you wish
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on February 01, 2009, 02:25:06 PM: A wish that can't be spoiled? no such thing
eg, you get your BB code perfect every time, but start paraphrasing it in real life and so become a social outcast because you can't communicate appropriately

world peace, aliens invade, enslave/kill us yadayada
srsly you need to better than that

I wish I didn't have an ingrown toenail (ewwww, and owwww all at the same time)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on February 01, 2009, 06:27:10 PM: You don't have an ingrown toenail. You have ten! Ohhhhhhh the pain.

(I know how it feels, I got one just as I begqn a five day tour of possible Universities. Including Sheffield, which is all UP!)

I wish that it was Friday evening again and I had another weekend.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 01, 2009, 07:14:32 PM: The new weekend causes global economic problems due to nearly a week without work, the economy collapses and civilisation as we know it ends, at least until in some vaguely improbable circumstances involving a car and fourteen male hamsters a coalition of Daniel Craig, Will Smith and probably Arnold Schwarznegger turn up and in a stunning A-list movie totally fail to prevent the problem, get killed by zombies and finally blow themselves up.

I wish that it was Friday evening again and I had another weekend.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Silver Wolf on February 01, 2009, 11:59:49 PM: And then comes the mother of all storms, so you have to run for your life for whole weekend ......
I wish I never had homework.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on February 02, 2009, 02:44:02 AM: you get no homework but too make up for it you spend twice as long in school with no weekends D=

I wish Richard Dawkins would be less preachy so more people would listen too him than think he's a prat
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 02, 2009, 09:34:32 AM: Everybody listensto Dawkins. He gets an inflated ego, becomes worshipped as a new god-king, and modern religion is replaced by Dawkinsisisism.

I wish for MOAR SNOW!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 02, 2009, 03:29:06 PM: You get it, but then you get buried in it like me :(

I wish for less snow :D
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on February 02, 2009, 07:41:57 PM: You ruin everyone elses day and get lynched

I wish for a snow day tommorow
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 02, 2009, 10:51:23 PM: You get more than a day, you get one squillion years

I wish for something I cant have
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on February 03, 2009, 04:17:10 PM: you get it and it turns out to be a massive disappointment and you go all emo depressed

I wish for the lab tim I lost back
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 03, 2009, 08:12:04 PM: You go to the lab, but you get locked in accdentally and you have too much time in there and go crazy

Tee heee

I wish for a new snowboard, used my old one today and its really naff!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 03, 2009, 08:53:45 PM: You get a new snowboard. It's a tea tray.

I wish for luck tomorrow.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 03, 2009, 09:40:33 PM: You get luck, but not for what you need it for.

I wish for credit on my phone...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on February 06, 2009, 04:38:47 PM: You waste your only wish on something completely pointless

I wish I could time travel
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 06, 2009, 05:38:02 PM: You waste your wish on something completely pointles could if you can travel time it would just ruin everything and I could be called Ros
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on February 10, 2009, 04:23:36 PM: Renewable energy takes off, you go bust, greenpeace kill you

I wish CN2s' ruining of my wish actually made sense
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 10, 2009, 05:57:05 PM: It does and your wish is spoiled in your mind and mine ^^

I wish for a new pair of ice skates (decent ones, hockey or figure I dont mind...)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on February 16, 2009, 12:29:09 AM: You get a new pair of ice skates, three sizes too small

I wish my laptop didn't break down
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 17, 2009, 12:18:13 AM: Your laptop gets fixed, but it is now magically repaired into a dishwasher.

I wish for cookies.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 17, 2009, 01:17:11 PM: You get cheese, egg, marmite and honey flavoured cookies. You are put off cookies for life.

I only wish, to catch a fish, so juicy sweeeeet...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 17, 2009, 02:07:42 PM: You will catch a juicy sweet fish that bursts into flames as soon as it comes out of the water and you are left with nothing.

I wish for nothing.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 17, 2009, 02:45:05 PM: You get nothing. No food, no happiness, no good luck, no water, no air. You dead.

I wish for DOOM!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 17, 2009, 02:52:31 PM: Doom comes in the form of happy faces, loads of candy and world peace.

I wish to be alive again.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 17, 2009, 03:17:46 PM: You are alive, but a zombie. Therefore you are scorned by society forever
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 17, 2009, 03:20:18 PM: You haven't got a wish to be spoiled. Therefore you shall forever remain in limbo until the earth implodes as a result of every supreme being from every religion ever created, having an all out war with each other amongst us mortals. And you will remain in limbo even after that.

I wish I could make up better stuff than this.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 17, 2009, 03:27:43 PM: Tee Hee ^^ I knew you would do that :P But when you make up better stuff it takes away the Pizzaness and you do turn into Doughnutdude

I wish for a website that sells AXE guitars (not literally axe guitars, the brand...)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 17, 2009, 03:32:49 PM: You find a website selling Axe guitars. They cost more than you can ever afford, you waste your life pining for one and you die alone and miserable.

I wish less of the wishes in this thread ended up with the wisher dying horribly.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 17, 2009, 03:37:18 PM: Thats not going to happen, your wish does not come true, and you die a horrible death. You molest yourself with a spoon.

I wish I had an australian accent
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 17, 2009, 03:59:41 PM: You get an Australian accent, but will be sad forever because mine is much better.

I wish for more wishes.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 17, 2009, 04:50:37 PM: You get them and squander them on evils of the flesh. You go to HELL!! BUAHAHAHAA!!AHAHAHAHA!!!!!/?!?!!!!!!

I wish for ultimate PROOF!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 17, 2009, 05:00:56 PM: You get ultimate proof, but you must decide between it, and a lifetime supply of mindless whores, ready to serve your every whim. And you choose the whores, forever loosing the hope of ultimate proof. But you still get the whores.

I wish for a money-making machine!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 17, 2009, 05:23:24 PM: You get it, but it makes Roman obols, which are worthe less than a penny eacha nd cannot be used as legal tender anywhere.

I wish for a fix to the credit crunch.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 17, 2009, 06:49:23 PM: You get one, we print masses of money. But inflation is rapid and money is worth nothing.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 17, 2009, 07:05:27 PM: I wish for Harry to wish more so we can spoil it.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 19, 2009, 05:07:07 PM: I wish too much, and you cant spoil all of them.

I wish my webcam worked
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 20, 2009, 12:35:20 PM: Your webcam works, but your computer explodes.

I wish the Empire Total War demo would come out already.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 20, 2009, 01:32:48 PM: It is out ^^ 4pm Today ^^ Shame your compuet cant play it, and you commit suicide.

I wish I had a better PC
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 20, 2009, 03:28:14 PM: You get a better PC, but it has Windows 98 on it, and it's irreplaceable.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 20, 2009, 04:20:09 PM: I wish people didnt forget wishes D:

What a wonderful world that would be.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 20, 2009, 08:46:41 PM: People don't forget wishing, but someone wishes you to die, so he kills you.

I wish that games would be cheaper in my country.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 20, 2009, 09:08:14 PM: They are, but people immigrate for the games, and you are over crowded

I wish for a new Name on exilian
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on February 21, 2009, 11:58:54 PM: You get a new name: FG5

I wish that I am definitely free on Friday so I might get to go for the ETW hands on day
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 22, 2009, 11:32:08 AM: To go offtopic for a moment, if you want hands on, just download the demo.

You get hands on, but just as your turn to play arrives, the electricity goes out in the entire city.

I wish that the snow continues to fall, so that we have another snow day.
EDIT: Scratch that, I just saw that snow is falling once more. Hallelujah!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 22, 2009, 07:16:03 PM: You what!? Snow :O Where! Where do you liiiiive! SNOOOOOOOOOOW! (I like it now...)

Umm I wish for a tube of compound-W
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 22, 2009, 09:25:33 PM: I live in Serbia, and because of snow my school didn't work on Thursday and Friday. I had a 4 day weekend!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 22, 2009, 09:29:28 PM: Haha! I had a 5 day week end lol

We had Mon-Tue-Wed off
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 23, 2009, 12:35:26 PM: Due to the manufacturer being an idiot you get a tube of compound M instead.

I wish for a laptop to play ETW on.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 23, 2009, 02:55:01 PM: You get a laptop to play ETW on, but by the time you go to buy ETW, it is completely sold out in the whole world! And Steam Headquarters gets a bombing run, to ensure there is no ETW left.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 23, 2009, 05:15:56 PM: Hehe, there are endless ways I cold ruin this wish....

I wish for a "laser"
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 23, 2009, 07:22:16 PM: Quote from: "vadermath"
You get a laptop to play ETW on, but by the time you go to buy ETW, it is completely sold out in the whole world! And Steam Headquarters gets a bombing run, to ensure there is no ETW left.
That doesn't matter since I can still steal someone else's copy of the game.

And you get your "laser" but instead you get a "lazer" which malfunctions and you die a horribly slow and painful death at the hands of the one and only My Little Pony fanclub president who somehow developed an urge to kill random people with malfunctioning "lazers".
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 23, 2009, 07:29:59 PM: Haha! It is a quote! So it IS spelt right!! HAHAHA! And why do people not make wishes D=

I wish for a LAZER now :P
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 23, 2009, 07:42:46 PM: It matters not wether it is spelled coreectly or not. you still die your horrible death.

As for your lazer, the same applies as for your laser.

I wish for lots of monies.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 23, 2009, 07:47:52 PM: You are mugged and all you new monies are taken away.

I wish for constipation pills for a prank >=D
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 23, 2009, 08:00:04 PM: You get the pills but the prank backfires and you use them on yourself.

I wish for world domination.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 23, 2009, 09:04:58 PM: You get world domination, but a secret Conspiracy group called the Company gives all the shots, so you only become a puppet ruler.

I wish for the brain of Einstein, so I could use his knowledge to rule the world! Muwahahahahaha!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 23, 2009, 09:21:24 PM: You get it, but your inferior body cannot cope with the strain of the hugely smart brain, and you overload and die.

I wish for a peanut.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 23, 2009, 09:43:30 PM: The peanut hits you in the head, and you bleed out to death.

I wish for a license to never go to school again.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 23, 2009, 10:25:57 PM: You get the license but because of it you die in a horrible fire simply because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. If only you had been in school that day.

I wish for pie.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Silver Wolf on February 23, 2009, 10:30:18 PM: Rejoice, your pie is made with old cabbage and pig tails...
I wish I had PS3 or Wii
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 23, 2009, 10:44:42 PM: You get a PS3, but I add you and annoy you so much your PS3 experience is ruined.

I wish for all the good t.v to be on earlier
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 24, 2009, 02:23:50 PM: It is, but your TV burns in a gigantic flame, so you have no TV anymore.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 24, 2009, 06:11:49 PM: I wish I had a wish to spoil
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 24, 2009, 10:27:20 PM: You get a wish to spoil but it turns out it is unspoilable.

I wish for a new claw
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 25, 2009, 01:20:17 PM: You get a claw, but in your head, from Wolverine. So you bleed to death.

I wish for a wish.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 25, 2009, 06:47:26 PM: You get the wish, but the wish master comes and steals your soul. Its illegal to wish for another wish in wish world.

I wish for THAT bit of dust to be gone. Spoil that wish.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 25, 2009, 09:52:05 PM: That bit of dust is gone, but while it travels to the netherworld, it's last remaining particle develops a brain, and resurrects itself, and it starts commanding all the sand and dust in the world, ordering it to bury you alive.

I wish for someone to make a wish no one can spoil.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on February 26, 2009, 12:06:41 AM: The unspoilable wish is made, and it completely ruins this thread, well done you idiot

I wish the motherboard didn't break in my laptop, so I could have used my free time more productively than music and comics (ie lab report that's in for friday D:)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pizzadude on February 26, 2009, 09:50:54 PM: Your laptop is magically repaired, but your lab report proves to be too difficult and the implodes because of it.

I wish for forum domination.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on February 27, 2009, 01:13:52 AM: It is dominated, BY JUBAL

i wish this lab report was easier to write
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on February 27, 2009, 02:21:22 PM: It becomes easy to write, but you write it so easily your teacher thinks you didn't do it, and you fail.

I wish for nothing.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on February 27, 2009, 07:46:58 PM: You get nothing, and you are sad because everyone else has something.

I wish people wernt so facinated by my hair now that I have straightened it...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on March 01, 2009, 09:06:05 PM: They become so fascinated, that all of them stare at it for days, and their eyes become almost glass, and they reflect the sun's beams at your hair, which results in you burning in a thousand flames.

I wish my girlfriend hadn't banned me from sex because we had a fight.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on March 02, 2009, 06:08:51 PM: haha XD! Sorry...

Umm, you have too much sex and you die of exaustion?

I wish for burn proof hair
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on March 05, 2009, 02:11:03 PM: You get it, but the special chemical that makes your hair burn proof smells terrible, and you are ejected from the rest of society. Brutally.

I wish for an army of zombies to follow my orders.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on March 05, 2009, 08:07:12 PM: They follow you till the ends of the earth, but unfortunately they are baby zombies, and are unable to carry out any of your desired commands.

I wish for my own pair of hair straightners =]
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Silver Wolf on March 08, 2009, 10:40:33 AM: You get a new pair of hair straightners but as soon as you try them, they set your hair on fire .........

I wish I had my own iphone
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 08, 2009, 01:32:42 PM: You get one, but lose everything else. You are stranded on a tiny rock island with no life on it in the middle of the pacific with no clothes or anything. Just an iphone.

I wish for ULTIMATE ARCANE POWER!!!!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Silver Wolf on March 08, 2009, 03:03:52 PM: There is no such thing as arcane power on this world......so you can't get it.

I wish for luck!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on March 08, 2009, 07:45:50 PM: Luck is non-existant, so you get nothing.

I wish for another indie band.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 08, 2009, 09:25:49 PM: Indie bands all turn into CHAVS.

I wish I could actually do GS.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on March 12, 2009, 09:14:40 PM: GS gets done by you, so all its other obscurely acronymed friends gang up and kill you

I wish I knew how to cure addiction to lolcats
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ashanorath on March 13, 2009, 11:44:05 PM: you get cured from lolcats addiction by getting addicted to drugs. You then get OD(over dosed) and die

I wish I had a better PC
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on March 15, 2009, 06:21:02 PM: you get a supercomputer, it can play anything on highest settings getting a constant 120fps with it, unfortunately you can't keep it cool enough so it overheats and melts, oh well back to your old PC. Hang on, you forgot to move it out of your room and it was melted by the heat from the new one in the moments before it melted itself. You now have no PC at all.

I wish the Oblivion Contruction set was easier to use for building dungeons
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on March 15, 2009, 06:32:44 PM: Its is, but you get so good, you become addicted and die playing oblivion.

I wish for more music on my iPod
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on March 17, 2009, 02:38:32 AM: More music, all by the tweenies and other kids show stuff

I wish I could stop finding webcomics to read
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on March 18, 2009, 07:28:05 PM: You dont find any, but you lose interest in the internets, and we all die of misery because you are gone.

I wish foah... a chance to re choose my GCSE options.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on March 20, 2009, 06:18:13 PM: You choose even worse options and so can't get A-levels that make your GCSE's redundant anyway.

I wish for a genie
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on March 20, 2009, 07:06:24 PM: The genie has very bad hearing, and you end up having a dog made from cotton wool.

I wish for a dog made of cotton wool!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Silver Wolf on March 26, 2009, 12:06:30 AM: Don't worry somebody will eat it before you...

I wish I was in Disneyland !
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on March 27, 2009, 08:15:20 PM: You go to disneyland, unfortunately the same time as terrorists decide to go on a mass killing spree.

I wish life was more simple sometimes
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on March 28, 2009, 03:31:45 PM: Life gets simple, but it results in a rewinding of evolution, as humans slowly get stupider, and only the smartest people in the world are able to resist it. The smart ones start a killing spree (go figure) in order to cleanse Earth of the Neanderthals. DESU is not one of the smarts, and the great-grandson of Einstein takes his head off with a chainsaw.

I wish that was true...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ashanorath on March 29, 2009, 04:44:29 PM: that becomes the truth, but you're not the brightest yourself, sou you get killed too

I wish I was immortal
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on March 30, 2009, 09:42:04 PM: You become immortal, but a great nuclear war sweeps the planet, leaving only you and the girls of the Playboy Mansion to rebuild humanity. Wait, that isn't so bad...

I wish I had a good wish to wish for...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ashanorath on March 31, 2009, 07:53:10 PM: you get a good wish to wish for, but you forget it, get crazy and commit suicide

I wish that day has 28 hours
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: vadermath on April 02, 2009, 06:23:18 PM: It does, but the additional 4 hours show to be too much for humanity, and the entire race collapses, leaving everything in ruin.

I wish for fish.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ashanorath on April 02, 2009, 08:03:35 PM: You get a fish, you keep it in a tank, you overfeed it and it dies. You get really sad, so you decide to kill yourself by jumping from a cliff, but, you survive and become paraplegic.

I wish for infinite amount of hard disc space
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on April 03, 2009, 06:06:49 PM: For that you need a hard drive of infinite size, hence infinite mass, so it crushes the universe, forcing it into a big crunch, everything dies, the big bang happens again, but the univers cant expand due to the hard drive crushing it back, however the electromagnetic burst proceeds to also wipe the hard drive of any data, which isn't that bad, it's really more of a kick in the nuts afte a beheading but still.

Boy I miss doing these

I wish revision was more entertaining to do
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on April 20, 2009, 05:51:09 PM: Its so entertaining you spend your whole life revising and your social life get runied. Go figure

I wish for braces to be less painful. Ruin that!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on April 20, 2009, 10:03:52 PM: braces are less painful, but much more ineffective, leading to almost life long periods of uncomfortable braces wearing

I wish I was better at essay writing
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on April 20, 2009, 10:31:20 PM: And once you do the entire criteria and writing structure for your essay will change.

I wish to star in my own sitcom.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on April 21, 2009, 06:45:26 PM: Granted, you star as the boy ninja, wearing a g string and no shirt while selflessly fighting crimes against animals.

I wish to purge the virus on my compy.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ashanorath on April 21, 2009, 06:55:38 PM: You purge the virus but accidentally, you also purge everything else on your hard drive too. You decide you that you can reinstall windows on your own, but you fail and burn down your whole PC.

I wish for more members on Exilian.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on April 21, 2009, 09:16:07 PM: Granted, you get a influx of banned taleworlds members.

(I almost did delete my hard drive due to a mistake, thankfully my computer finesse saved me)

I wish for faster shipping from half.com.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on April 21, 2009, 10:24:28 PM: Granted, but when you get the package, it will turn out to be a nice g-string and floral dress.

I wish that Darkstar falls down his stairs.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ashanorath on April 21, 2009, 10:29:36 PM: Darkstar falls down the stairs but he falls directly on you. He ends up with no injuries, while you break both of your legs.

I wish it was June already
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on April 21, 2009, 10:35:49 PM: Granted, but it turns out to be so hot that you seriously burn yourself all over and can't go out for 6 months.

I wish for the ability to think of more wishes.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on April 21, 2009, 10:39:10 PM: Granted, but the internet explodes due to the excess of wishes. Along with your computer. You die.

I wish for a zombie apocalypse to happen.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on April 21, 2009, 10:44:14 PM: Granted, but they all go after you, kill you and then disappear.

I wish for a better PC.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on April 21, 2009, 11:02:39 PM: Granted, but you get one with linux on it. You can't use 99.99999% of programs properly now. GG.

I wish for this topic to die, never to be revived, ever.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on April 21, 2009, 11:15:37 PM: Granted.
Lock please Jubal!
This topic will then come back from the dead to haunt you and drive you mad!!

I wish that more people used this forum at any one time.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on April 23, 2009, 03:16:55 AM: Granted, they all begin talking about how much you spam.

I wish that there were 021203201 hour days so I could play left 4 dead more.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on April 23, 2009, 05:00:43 PM: Granted, but the lack of sleep sends you insane and you kill youself.

I wish Pentagathus would f*** off and die.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on April 24, 2009, 04:13:43 PM: Granted, he revives himself, becomes the "Ubariffic Lich Kang" and starts to slaughter small rodents. Good job.

I wish I had xbox live free (hehe)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on April 24, 2009, 05:43:44 PM: Granted, but it turns out to be pirated and the Police come round and shoot you with Tasers. Lol.

I wish my internet connection wasn't so f***ed up.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on April 24, 2009, 11:20:50 PM: It just dies instead, so you have no internet connection to be f**ked up

I wish for flying monkey servants
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on April 28, 2009, 06:04:03 AM: Granted, they begin to try to have gay intercourse with you. You wake up everynight with monkeys trying to get into your "pear trees". Sad.

I wish for Apple to die a slow painful corporate death.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on April 28, 2009, 04:57:36 PM: Granted, but... um... can't think of anything. Apple deserve to die.

I wish for a decent car.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on April 28, 2009, 06:43:36 PM: you get a decent car but u crash it in seconds :( sad...

i wish there was n o such thing as exams!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on April 28, 2009, 10:26:43 PM: Granted, but you fail to get an education, don't get a job, go mad and go on a killing spree across the town/city you live in, then the Police turn up...
I've taken that too far.

I wish to be a stand-up comedian.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on April 29, 2009, 09:25:34 PM: you get heckled into oblivion

I wish mode of vibration where more intresting to write about
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on April 29, 2009, 10:08:21 PM: Granted, but you write so much that your hands get permanent writer's cramp and you spend the rest of your life in agony.

I wish for a girlfriend
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on May 01, 2009, 07:31:55 AM: Granted, good luck with the child support. *tsk* *tsk* (meh, I just had to..)

I wish for a darker shade of green for my user group.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on May 01, 2009, 04:49:06 PM: eer definatly granted becuse dark green owns!!! it so sad to spoil that wish, but as i have to :'( soz
it becomes 2 dark is turns black! i have green pluses in my name haha! lol

i wish we could invent a teleportation device!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 01, 2009, 05:52:00 PM: Granted, but the classic teleporter problems happens and you merge with a FISH to become some weird monster/mutant!

I wish for more posts.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 01, 2009, 08:39:44 PM: You get more posts by spamming, I smash you with the banhammer

I wish people would stop worrying about swine flu, more people die every day from terrorism, prejudice and tyrannical dictators
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 01, 2009, 09:28:18 PM: Granted, but the lack of worry means that swine flu spreads without us knowing and brings the world to a halt. IT'S KILLED PEOPLE, FEAR IT!!! Joke.

I wish that this sh***y recession would end.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on May 02, 2009, 03:47:40 AM: Quote from: "Boyninja616"
Granted, but the lack of worry means that swine flu spreads without us knowing and brings the world to a halt. IT'S KILLED PEOPLE, FEAR IT!!! Joke.

I wish that this sh***y recession would end.
Granted, it never started. :D

I wish for swine flu.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 02, 2009, 10:51:59 AM: Granted, but the infection is so bad that you are overwhelmed and become a zombie!!

I wish for more sun.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on May 02, 2009, 04:07:10 PM: Granted, you get a suntan that burns your body, particularly your lower abdomen. You are sterile. Nice job.

Is becoming a zombie BAD?
I wish to become a "hunter" from l4d.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 02, 2009, 04:22:11 PM: Granted, but you get owned in 0.0000000237 seconds!

I wish for better friends
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on May 02, 2009, 05:42:38 PM: Granted, they never leave you alone, they are there every minute of the day. They might have even been their during your honeymoon, you thought you heard something in the bushes. You think you are going insane.

I wish I had a free 12 month Gold subscribed to xbox live.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 02, 2009, 06:33:14 PM: Granted, but your XBOX blows up in your face when you first turn it on, BURNING your face! To add insult to a bad injury you then have to pay to get your XBOX repaired.

I wish for
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on May 03, 2009, 02:20:19 PM: you get
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 03, 2009, 02:27:37 PM: Granted, but you take off when a plane does and get sucked into the engine and minced.

I wish for more MINIONS!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on May 03, 2009, 02:30:09 PM: granted, eer then i make jubal delete it (i atually granted ure wish lol)

i wish i had more minions!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 03, 2009, 02:31:36 PM: Done.

I wish this topic would end
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on May 03, 2009, 02:35:42 PM: lol thanks

i does end but i just make a new topic exactly the same

i wish my staff post wouldnt end :'(
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 03, 2009, 02:37:25 PM: Granted, but a virus enters the forums that affects staff computers and yours blows up!

I wish for a super mega ultra anti-virus programe
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on May 03, 2009, 02:39:06 PM: done but...... life gets boring without the viruses and u kill yourself

i wish i wasnt as bored as this guy: :ball:
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 03, 2009, 02:41:28 PM: Granted, but the excitement gives you a cardiac and U DIE!

I wish for superpowers
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on May 03, 2009, 02:43:19 PM: you get them but you get to many super powers u end up like peter petrelli in heroes and explode!

(http://heroeswiki.com/images/thumb/8/8d/Painting_realized_peter_explode.jpg/200px-Painting_realized_peter_explode.jpg)
i wish i could travel in time
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 03, 2009, 02:49:05 PM: I like Heroes!

------------------------------------------------

Granted, but you travel back to the time of the dinosaurs and get eaten.

I cant think of any more wishes
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 03, 2009, 11:45:40 PM: You fail epicly

I wish that a whole three stories of delicious cake would be delivered to uni halls in celebration of us returning.

Because we are that epic
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 04, 2009, 10:00:19 AM: granted, but one of the other students bumps into it and it falls on you.

I wish I had some fancy title on this forum
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 04, 2009, 11:03:02 AM: You get it, the title of PERMABANNED!

I wish my Uni bed was comfortable
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 04, 2009, 11:57:47 AM: Granted, but it is so comfortable that you fall into a coma.

I wish Darkstar got permabanned somehow
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on May 04, 2009, 06:55:17 PM: To a wish you said before: Granted, I change your title to "The kid ninja, fighter of playground bullies. Huzzah!"

you can change that in your profile by the way.. so...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Granted, I get permabanned. But then you also get permabanned. A CIS investigation starts and finds me innocent of all crimes while you are convicted and sent to jail. I get 100000000 $ in a law suit for precious lost time. I win.

I wish I could fly.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 04, 2009, 07:01:48 PM: Like Gmd, you take off as soon as a plane does and get minced in the engine.

I wish for a better house
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 04, 2009, 07:02:14 PM: You can fly, you get caught by scientists and examine you for the rest of your life (keywords: anal probing)

I wish for a refund on my accommodation
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on May 04, 2009, 07:07:30 PM: Quote from: "stormcloud"
You can fly, you get caught by scientists and examine you for the rest of your life (keywords: anal probing)

I wish for a refund on my accommodation
hehehehe

Granted, you get a refund of $1, be more precise next time.

I wish to have 10000 cookies.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 04, 2009, 07:09:17 PM: granted, but they crush you and kill you.

I wish for more partying.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 04, 2009, 07:12:15 PM: Party yourself to death whydontya?

I wish I could actually get my posts in the right place
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 04, 2009, 07:13:42 PM: Granted, but you manage to piss of Jubal somehow and get permabanned.

I wish other people would wish for me
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on May 04, 2009, 07:13:43 PM: Quote from: "stormcloud"
Party yourself to death whydontya?

I wish I could actually get my posts in the right place
Granted.. uh.... yeah..

I wish I had a hot girl sitting right next to me flirting with me.

:D
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 04, 2009, 07:14:47 PM: Granted, but she turns out teh be your long-lost sister
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 04, 2009, 07:15:32 PM: I really cant think of any more wishes now
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Darkstar707 on May 04, 2009, 07:16:43 PM: Quote from: "Boyninja616"
Granted, but she turns out teh be your long-lost sister
Wow. I seriously just watched a movie all about that.

It was kinda cool. Had some black dude smoking weed and getting canned for 2 days and he had no legs.

Weird, awesome movie.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 04, 2009, 07:19:15 PM: Same happens in Star Wars (sort of)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 10, 2009, 11:32:57 PM: I wish that I could find a job that would interest me
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 11, 2009, 05:17:43 PM: Granted, but your boss is an insufferable jerk and has it in for you.

I wish I had enough time to write my Atheist Bible.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 11, 2009, 07:31:46 PM: you have the time, but it turns out as a useless flop in the fight against irrational superstition
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/ (http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/)

I wish the antivax movement would all die of whooping chough
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 11, 2009, 10:15:09 PM: I have no idea who they are, but Granted.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 12, 2009, 02:42:45 PM: anti-vaccination movement, relying on long debunked reports and scare stories they protest against the vaccination of children and don't vaccinate theirs, this allows dangerous illnesses to affect children too young to be vaccinated, and people on immune-suppressants, to be exposed. While measles, mumps, rubella, whooping cough and others are not ususally fatal they still can have massive complications, especially to those mentioned prior
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 12, 2009, 07:13:08 PM: I hate bastards like those. YOU CAN'T STOP PROGRESSION!!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 12, 2009, 08:44:55 PM: yeap, thanks to them polio could soon be back, yay for crippling, incurable and yet fully preventable diseases
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 12, 2009, 09:57:07 PM: I wish people would get a f***ing grip on modern times. If the general consensus is that we want to prevent people from losing their ability to do everyday things, then people should accept that instead of fighting it.

The kids of these antivax members must rebel by threatening to get an MMR jab. LOL.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goromous on May 16, 2009, 01:17:26 AM: Granted. All people get a grip on modern times. But you get aids and die.

Damn...

xD

Just playing, nothing personal boyninja :p

I wish I could jump really high.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on May 16, 2009, 07:00:37 AM: You jump so high you collide with an airliner and die.

I wish I didn't have to make a wish here.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 16, 2009, 10:47:38 AM: Granted, but everyone makes crap wishes for you which all come true and you find yourself in a bad situation!

I wish for the power to make me invisible.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 16, 2009, 02:17:49 PM: you become invisible, but by shrinking to a size smaller than the wavelength of visible light, you are now a single cell organism

I wish for a good E3
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 16, 2009, 03:26:55 PM: Granted.

I wish religion would go away.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 16, 2009, 10:36:37 PM: how on earth am I meant to ruin that? that would be the most awesome and world beneficial event ever.
err lets see, it goes away in the manner that everyone dies, no more people, no more religion. yeah that kinda works

I wish boyninja would ruin wishes properly
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 16, 2009, 10:39:10 PM: I'm sorry, but I also wan't E3 to be good for once.
Glad to see that someone esle is as god-hating as me. :)
Granted, but my wish spoiling is ruthless and makes you cry.

I wish I could have all of Bill Gates' money.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 16, 2009, 10:49:55 PM: ok, you get all the money of bill gates' the tramp, a total of fifteen thousand pounds
of debt
bill appreciates your kindness, but nothing more, he is a tramp after all, I suppose you could be glad he didn't rape you

I wish for all those older members of exilian to come back and join in the fun

lol going back on this thread http://s9.zetaboards.com/exilian?topic=467632/8/ (http://s9.zetaboards.com/exilian?topic=467632/8/) )
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goromous on May 17, 2009, 04:01:17 AM: Granted. They come back, but they spam underaged porn, and the site gets shut down.

Wishes I had one dollar for every time I got hit in the head with a javelin on M&B
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 17, 2009, 10:45:20 AM: Granted, but you die from the first one and are unable to collect your total of
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goromous on May 18, 2009, 04:35:55 PM: Granted, but stormcloud did it instead.

I wish boyninja would point out when I posted such sick things.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 18, 2009, 05:03:20 PM: Granted.

GOROMOUS IS A SICK PERVERT AND WE SHOULD ALL RIDICULE HIM FOR IT AND THROW THINGS AT HIM IN PUBLIC!!

I wish Goromous would stop digging himself a massive hole to fall in.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 18, 2009, 06:59:36 PM: granted but he isn't digging a hole for himself, he actually turns out to be tunneling under you, you fall in with him and he does nasty things to you.

I WISH I HAD TURNED OVER THE FORMULA SHEET IN MY EXAM TODAY, I MISSED OUT 3 QUESTIONS BECAUSE I COULDN'T REMEMBER THE EQUATIONS. GRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M A FOOOOOL
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 18, 2009, 11:27:17 PM: Granted, but someone had doodled over the formulae beforehand, so you aren't helped at all and your brain explodes.

I wish that I had at least one romantic opportunity with a girl that did not involve me picking up the pieces after they've split up with their boyfriend.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 19, 2009, 06:28:08 PM: You get that romantic opportunity, with a girl you find completely hideous, you really shouldn't do silly wagers

I wish that I could come up with a less tedious method of revising
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 19, 2009, 09:37:44 PM: Granted, but with all the revision you do, you neglect your friends and family, who shun you.

I wish College wasn't so damn boring
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 20, 2009, 09:31:38 AM: Granted, now you do soft subjects, so don't learn anything useful and essentially waste time and money

I wish I could manipulate the rate at which time passes
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 20, 2009, 11:37:41 AM: I don't actually pay for College, its FREE!
Thats the English education system for you.

Granted, but you do that classic 'changing the future' thing and get so depressed you kill yourself.

I wish I could cheat on internet games.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 20, 2009, 06:24:17 PM: A) yeah you don't spend money on it, but you could be working

B) on with wish killing
You can cheat now, but all games quickly loose their appeal

I wish I could get electricity and magnetism as a whole
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 20, 2009, 08:58:59 PM: Granted, but you attract sharp metal objects which stab, and then you electrify then and electrocute yourself!

I wish I could go out with a godd-looking Rock Star!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 21, 2009, 05:29:03 PM: You get a date with a godd looking male rock star
rock star is defined as good at rock band
godd is defined as not a real word

I wish for an awesome 7.1 surround system in the house I'm at next year
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 21, 2009, 06:57:55 PM: probably should have specified a FEMALE rock star.

Granted, but the sound is so loud that it deafens you, then the Police come round and beat you for disturbing the peace.

I wish every single chav would go die.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goromous on May 22, 2009, 06:14:05 PM: Granted, but they take you with them.

Chav suicide run!

I wish I would break my leg.

Twist that, bi*ch.

xD

Just kidding.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 22, 2009, 08:07:06 PM: the break is so bad you have to have it amputated, then de to complications you die of an infection

I wish for a good weekend
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 23, 2009, 11:23:42 AM: Granted, but it goes past in 3 seconds flat (Time flies when you're having fun)!

I wish someone would kill Gordon Brown.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 23, 2009, 01:31:18 PM: Terrorists
In London
With a heigh yield thermonuclear device

Yeah great wish dude, killing off london

I wish I could grow wings and fly
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 23, 2009, 09:25:09 PM: Killing off London won't be that much of a loss...

I wish my PC speakers would stop PICKING UP RADIO SIGNALS WHEN I'M F***ING TYPING!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goromous on May 24, 2009, 05:17:13 PM: Granted, but they pick up old school Micheal Jackson instead.

I wish I was as good at modeling as DJ_chisi and Sibylla.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on May 24, 2009, 05:24:27 PM: You do, but forget other skills. Such as how to use the toilet.

I wish for DOOM AND DARKNESS!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goromous on May 25, 2009, 12:51:19 AM: Granted, but its so dark it gets light!

I wish for a cookie.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 25, 2009, 09:29:33 AM: Granted, but it falls on your head and you slip into a coma. When you wake up, you find that your friends have eaten your cookie.

I wish that insects wouldn't come into my bloody bedroom.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 25, 2009, 04:04:39 PM: they fill the rest of your house
AND YOU DIDN'T RUIN MY WISH
hence
I wish I could grow wings and fly
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goromous on May 25, 2009, 04:31:20 PM: Granted, but someone mistakes you for an alien, and shoots your ass down ;)

I wish I had a really big piece of toast. Mmm..
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 25, 2009, 09:42:07 PM: You have a huge piece of very stale toast, nothing on it, and the crumbs are getting everywhere ants come along
it's all a big kerfuffle over some toast that you really cant eat

I wish for separation of church and state
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 26, 2009, 10:50:52 AM: Granted, but religious extremists hunt you down and put an end to your wish-making.

I wish for a mini-fridge in my room :)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on May 26, 2009, 01:50:44 PM: ok then, a BROKEN mini fridge

I wish for faster delivery times from amazon
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 27, 2009, 09:11:24 AM: Ok, but they accidentally deliver the wrong things to you and charge you for the postage and packaging.

I wish stupid make-up adverts on telly would go away
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goromous on May 30, 2009, 12:54:06 AM: Granted.. Buuutt... They're replaced by Obama ads.

Ouch.. That one hurt.

I have a mini fridge in my basement.. I don't really use it though. Not that lazy. :p
(My bedroom is in the basement)

I wish for one dollar and twenty eight cents. In pennies. Rusty, grimy, dirty, aids ridden pennies.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 30, 2009, 11:35:29 AM: What's wrong with Obama ads you Republican?

Granted, see what I care...

I wish Goromous would grow up
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goromous on May 31, 2009, 12:58:11 AM: I dislike hearing the president on TV. Any president, actually..

Granted, but then he stabs you with a pitchfork.

I wish Boy ninja didn't take things so seriously.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on May 31, 2009, 12:24:49 PM: Granted, but becoming more playful means that I get on your nerves so much until you become shallow and bitter.

I wish I do average in my exam tomorrow.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on May 31, 2009, 03:18:13 PM: You do average. You get the average grade for the country.
Sadly, this turns out to be a fail.

I wish I was more sane.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on June 01, 2009, 12:13:11 AM: You become more sane, gratz on becoming Mr Bland 2010 though 2132
yep dull past death, even the grass on your grave seems drained by your dullness and you only lose the title as that is the year the robots take over

I wish I could write a good CV
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on June 01, 2009, 01:20:34 PM: Jubal - I live in England you dunce. The average is C.

stormcloud - Granted, but the interviewer thinks its a fake and doesn't give you a job. OVERKILL

Building on an earlier wish, I wish to go out with a good-looking FEMALE rock-star.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on June 02, 2009, 12:59:31 PM: yeah she turns out to be lesbian, you turned her your that rubbish

I wish I had a more interesting life to write a CV about
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on June 02, 2009, 03:40:53 PM: Granted, but everytime you try and print it out it catches fire spontaneously.

I wish stormcloud would stop spoiling MY wishes.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on June 03, 2009, 11:47:21 AM: noboy else can match my wish killing capabilities, this thead dies

I wish boyninja would put more effort into spoiling wishes
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on June 04, 2009, 12:09:04 PM: Granted, but my wish-killing is so harsh that it makes you cry your eyes out in front of all your friends, who then see you as a big baby and beat you up, leaving you crippled.

GOOD ENOUGH FOR YA?!

I wish UKIP win the 2010 election.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on June 04, 2009, 02:32:24 PM: haha I just googled them to make sure that I got the right people
Quote
Libertarian, non-racist party seeking Britain's withdrawal from the European Union. Includes manifesto, campaign news, links and a section devoted to ...
I don't object to most of their policies, apart from EU separation, then we can't go to france for cheap booze annnd we miss out on the mazzive trade and tourism benefits. But that's for the restaurant.

ok theen, they only win because the neuclear winter has killed of the rest of the parties, and most of the people on earth

I wish theists would stfu
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on June 08, 2009, 06:44:19 PM: Granted, i hate religion...

The EU is destroying Britain. So many of our laws are overruled by the EU's, and they have the power to make new laws for us, and I don't want that kind of interference. We did perfectly alright for 800 years without the EU. We can trade with them without being in a union. Also, if we left the union, Eastern Europeans from countries that have just joined the EU will stop coming over here, nicking our jobs and our money.

I wish all the oil runs out so that Opec dies in a hole.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 20, 2009, 05:32:34 PM: There are so many ways this can be runined... But I shall just go with the traditional one. All the oil runs out and riots streak the land in order to gather the remaining supplies. War breaks out, and a nuke is launched, then another, until the world is naught but ash.

I wish for my music to be back on my iTunes.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: stormcloud on September 03, 2009, 10:44:06 AM: Your music is back on iTunes, the problem is it is your music, it's a compilation of songs you have sung while in the bathroom.

I wish for a new PC
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: lordryan756 on April 08, 2010, 08:06:40 PM: Granted, but when it is delivered, you find out it is a 1/2 ton machine, that only does math.

I wish I was better at Mods and/or Scripts
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jacos on April 13, 2010, 06:29:52 PM: You become better, make an AMAZING mod, and then warband comes out and everybody stops going on yours and plays on the new warband mods.

I wish I was a god.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepComet5581 on April 13, 2010, 09:11:31 PM: Granted, but KRATOS DESTROYS YOU before you can do anything meaningful.

I wish a Half-Life movie would be made.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jacos on April 18, 2010, 09:05:40 AM: You do, and it sucks.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Colonel_Ryan on April 21, 2010, 05:06:47 PM: I wish you could wish something after your spoil.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jacos on April 21, 2010, 05:20:12 PM: I make a wish, after forgetting to, but it's a really boring one.

I wish I had Star Wars Battlefront 2
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: lordryan756 on May 27, 2010, 10:31:37 PM: You get your wish, but soon find out that it only has 7 levels, and get bored doing it over and over.

I wish I could get some money :)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on June 06, 2010, 08:33:56 PM: You get some monopoly money.

I wish there were some more people on this forum.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on June 14, 2010, 10:06:36 PM: Granted, IM BACK :) then you remember im annoying.....

I wish my history exam to be easy.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: lordryan756 on June 18, 2010, 10:44:33 PM: It's so easy, you didn't even study for the questions, and failed.

I wish I could be a Genius :)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on January 11, 2011, 11:23:50 PM: (this thread must be reawakened!!!!!) your brain explodes

i wish sandford would post here next :P
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 12, 2011, 04:39:57 AM: He's been assimilated into my consciousness. Therefore granted but its me.

I wish for a toasted cheese sandwich.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on January 12, 2011, 10:47:40 PM: i make you one but i cant cook so enjoy your cheesey burnt sandwhich remains

i wish for a yaaaaalanaaaaaa! :knight:
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 13, 2011, 04:08:11 PM: You get it. Whatever it is I get a better one. You immediately feel sad about the awesomeness of my yaaaaalanaaaaaa!

I wish for new smileys.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on January 13, 2011, 06:58:03 PM: granted:

()()
( '.')
(('')('')

___
{o,o}
|)__)
-"-"-
O RLY?

But the man killed the bunnie :(

O......................... ()()
L;=- - - - - -..........(0.o)
/\.........................((' ')('')

i wish for no general studies boring exam
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 13, 2011, 07:31:50 PM: Granted.

But then you are flattened by a skittish horse drawing a cart and realise just as you die, "It's general knowledge that horses are jumpy around cars. The dude who drove this thing to school today would have known that had he studied for the now non-existent general knowledge exam."

I wish for a general knowledge exam. In a horse drawn cart.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 14, 2011, 04:38:39 AM: You get it. But there is no spoon (with it)

I wish to be admin... *dramatic pause* OF THE WORLD
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 14, 2011, 06:04:04 AM: How could you debux! Deny me my spoon in the General Knowledge Exam! That takes all purpose away from it!

Granted. But then you are mobbed as the millions of trollz around the world unite and use up the world's bandwidth. Sick of the trollz, Earth's people decide to create a new global forum but you missed the meme.

I wish for Rome Total War 2.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 15, 2011, 12:07:15 AM: I had not forseen that... maybe I would screw up 4chan, just as I did with mininova and limewire *evil laugh*

Oh, god I can't say anything for that. I also wish for it. I just... can't... say... no

Someone take over please xD
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 20, 2011, 04:32:15 AM: I wish someone reposts here
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 20, 2011, 10:38:31 AM: Granted but its me. Again. Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ahem.

I still wish for Rome Total War 2. ;)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 21, 2011, 02:25:29 AM: Oh, man. Damn you :D

Granted, but CA will fill it with DLC, that will include one playable faction each. Without DLC you can only play as rome.

I wish for a practical and small portable music device
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on January 24, 2011, 04:50:46 PM: You get it from an anonymous donor. It later turns out to be an alien signalling device and they invade earth with the data they obtained from you.

I wish to pass my fourth year exams.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 25, 2011, 12:38:00 AM: Granted. But you loose your internet because of your wish. So you can't use wikipedia for works, and your social life and possibilities of getting a job in the short term is annulled by not being able to use facebook.

I wish for a playlists with song I would like even if I haven't heard them yet. Kind of like a god-sent playlist
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 25, 2011, 01:52:02 AM: You get it but God thinks that you like Katy Perry.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on January 25, 2011, 05:28:21 PM: You going to wish Phoenix? :P
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 25, 2011, 08:30:50 PM: Oh God I did it again sorry guys.

I wish I wouldn't keep forgetting to wish. :-/
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on January 25, 2011, 09:03:12 PM: You remember to wish, but remember nothing else...

I wish I could eat lots of sweets without having any side effects such as becoming fat or getting diabetes
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 25, 2011, 09:06:44 PM: You can but you didn't see the truck that just plowed through your kitchen whilst you were grabbing some.

I wish for a new car.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on January 25, 2011, 09:08:31 PM: You get a new car but it breaks down unrepairably after 1 mile. There goes a lot of money down the drain...

I wish for a decent maths teacher to replace 1 of mine
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 25, 2011, 09:11:36 PM: You get one. Thats punishment enough in itself. :D

I wish for a new computer. One that works. All the time.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 26, 2011, 03:42:12 AM: You get it. But I comes with over 9000 viruses (see what I did there?), that protect each other.

I wish for chocolate bars
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 26, 2011, 03:51:06 AM: You get them, then realise they've been off since 1862.

I wish for fried chicken. Don't remember if I've wished for that already...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 26, 2011, 03:56:42 AM: Granted, but as you grab your first chicken, you travel so back far in time when there is no toothpaste. Someone adds incredible amounts of garlic to your chicken, that you feel guilty eating the chicken, knowing that you''ll have a terrible breath. And while you are deciding on what to do, someone shows up behind you, knocks you out cold with a spoon, and before you close your eyes yo see it's

ADAM SANDLER
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 26, 2011, 03:58:46 AM: Lol debux. You also did what I always do.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on January 26, 2011, 05:30:23 PM: I guess I had better put something then...

I wish for immortality
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on January 26, 2011, 09:10:37 PM: Granted, but you get really bored when the universe is destroyed.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on January 26, 2011, 09:29:23 PM: Ohhhhh, you forgot to wish...

Tut tut tut how very naughty and forgetful of you
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 26, 2011, 11:17:31 PM: I feel bad. Like its all my fault. I started this abominable habit of not wishing.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 27, 2011, 01:23:48 AM: Yet nobody wishes :D

I wish for nicer advertising. Exilian deserves me in all the advertisement bars
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 27, 2011, 02:03:51 AM: You get yourself in the advertisements. Unfortunately the ad is for male strippers. Whether you're into that at all is a moot point.

I wish for a dog.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on January 27, 2011, 05:11:51 PM: The dog has rabies.

I wish I had a lager posting window than five hours so people wouldn
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on January 27, 2011, 05:18:54 PM: You start posting 24 hours a day but then die due to sleep deprivation

I wish the maths exam hadn't been so hard :(
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 27, 2011, 11:44:55 PM: It wasn't. But it was still a maths exam.

I wish for a grape.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 28, 2011, 03:18:37 AM: You get it. But it has been peeled. *insert dramatic music, maybe even the dramatic gopher but I'm not sure*

I wish for an RTS, AoE style (hopefully in quality as well), that lets you build roads, and that they actually offer an advantage to you.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 28, 2011, 04:58:22 AM: You get RTW2. Where you can build roads. That give an advantage. You love it. Then it crashes.

I wish for an RTS game, with incredible quality that lets you build roads, set in the Warhammer world, with a map that covers the breadth of the entire Warhammmer World, with supreme modability, every race in the game, and comes with a free Coke and Elf army.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on January 28, 2011, 05:57:07 PM: you get all of that stuff.... Then your room explodes with everything in it thanks to a well placed bomb inside the coke

I wish for a lot o' money
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on January 28, 2011, 07:58:05 PM: Mo money mo problems.

I wish for unlimited power. (At an affordable monthly rate)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on January 28, 2011, 09:06:45 PM: you get it at an affordable monthly rate.... Until your power bank goes under and ISN'T bailed out, meaning your unlimited power is gone...

I wish for a good life
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on January 28, 2011, 10:58:38 PM: Your neighbour becomes jealous and stabs you.

I wish I was wise.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Marcus on January 29, 2011, 01:28:58 AM: You become wise, but you then see the futility of life and commit suicide.

I wish for a turkey sandwich.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on January 29, 2011, 10:28:39 AM: you get the turkey sandwich, but inside is a live Turkey which goes beserk...

I wish for good luck
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 29, 2011, 01:43:24 PM: You get it. And then you are killed by SKILL.

I wish for a coke without a bomb in it.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Goldyrulz on January 29, 2011, 03:46:08 PM: You get a coke without a bomb, but then accidentally walk into a train with a suicide bomber, and as they say, the rest is history...

I wish for some SKILL
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on January 29, 2011, 09:29:52 PM: A guy gets lucky and kills you in a fight.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 30, 2011, 04:24:39 AM: You forgot to wish again NightAngel.

I'll do it. I wish for a cowboy hat.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 30, 2011, 07:00:34 AM: You get it. But the top is cut off. As you attempt to put in on, it slips down all the way to your feet, making you trip and fall into your computer. You live forever in the internets, full of pervs that search for young chicks that are willing to show their genitalia on omegle

I wish for a third ear
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 30, 2011, 10:25:19 PM: You get it, and then are chased down the street by Witch Hunters. "MUTANT ABOMINATION!!!"

I wish for a sarcophagus.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 31, 2011, 03:31:26 AM: You get it, but it has a magic spell that teleports you inside. You are locked inside forever. However, the former owner forgot to eat the oreos he had put inside, giving you a momentary moment of joy.

I wish for a two cent coin
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 31, 2011, 05:00:37 AM: You get it. And then realise how worthless 2 cent coins are. You immediately jump off a bridge.

Thanks for the Oreos by the way. I love Oreos.

I wish for a really cool bike helmet.

Aaaah, no wait! Without a bomb in it!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on January 31, 2011, 05:12:36 PM: It has no bomb, but it does have an angry snake in it!

I wish for a time travelling fish.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on January 31, 2011, 11:51:13 PM: You get one. He travels back in time and eats the bacteria that spawned the human race.

I wish for a non-time-travelling fish.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on February 01, 2011, 12:27:08 AM: You get it. But since it doesn't travel in time, you realize how boring it is to have a common fish and decide to make out a snack out of it

I wish to understand better the heavily accented english that's used in the Monty Python sketches
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 01, 2011, 06:11:46 AM: You are able to understand most of it. And are then completely confused when John Cleese plays a Frenchman in the Holy Grail.

I wish for a "ridiculous accent."
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on February 01, 2011, 05:03:49 PM: You get it, but it travels over to your typing to so Debux can't understand you.

I wish my friends wouldn't make fun of me for liking final fantasy 13.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 01, 2011, 11:42:47 PM: Your friends stop but randoms keep making fun.

I wish for a cat that doesn't smell. And no bomb in it either!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on February 02, 2011, 02:29:59 AM: You get it. But it has a "ridiculous accent" that urges you to "make him sleep" (forever)

I wish for unlimited time to watch internets
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 02, 2011, 04:58:20 AM: You get it but then you have no time to eat. Or breathe. And you die. But you don't have time for that either.

I wish for a KFC to be constructed in my local area.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on February 02, 2011, 06:01:40 PM: It is. Shortly before a mutation in KFC stock causes a zombie outbreak.

I wish I was sexually attracted to the girl I love.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on February 03, 2011, 01:37:01 AM: She becomes, but since the trend today is that all nice girl are related to vampires, she becomes one and eats your cookies

I wish I knew how to edit my avatar to look cooler
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 03, 2011, 05:54:14 AM: You are able to find a way. And then people start to say you have no imagination cause it looks exactly like mine. Conceited Phoenixguard FTW! :D

I wish for....

a cookie.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on February 03, 2011, 05:29:21 PM: You don't just get any cookie you get the finest cookie in all of Britainshire and indeed the World!

Fifty meters wide and two meters deep, able to be keep for months without going off and a one meate diameter sphere of liquid chocolate at the centre.

"Look at it! No really look at it! What do you mean you can't see it its right above you-." SPLAT.

"Oh dear, who
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 03, 2011, 11:18:15 PM: Haha LOL! But you didn't wish. And you told me off for that in another thread.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on February 04, 2011, 02:27:11 AM: Nor did you phoenixguard :P Shame on both of you

I wish for a non-suicidal cookie
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 04, 2011, 02:38:48 AM: You get one. It is murdered.

I wish for an immortal suicidal cookie.

Anyway, as poster on this thread, it is his right to make a wish. :P
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Andalus on February 06, 2011, 02:14:20 AM: You get an immortal suicide cookie. However, it repeatedly jumps off buildings onto your head, causing brain damage.

I wish I knew.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on February 06, 2011, 03:52:31 AM: You do. But then again, you won't... (dramatic look)

I wish for a PC that would update it's hardware automatically
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 06, 2011, 03:58:50 AM: You get one. But it starts uploading updates in French, and as its all automatic, you can't change the settings. And now your computer only speaks in French, meaning that you can't read it and neither can I because I'd be the first person you'd ask for help.

I wish for an immortal suicidal cookie. With brain damage. And no legs. It isn't very tasty either.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on February 06, 2011, 04:40:44 PM: You realise this is just a pitiful attempt to stop your wish being corrupted.

I wish I had control over time so I could get all my stuff done.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 07, 2011, 01:58:27 AM: You have control of time. You are sitting in your room one night, relishing your new-found ability. You decide to experiment and speed time up by a factor of x6000. The amount of time that passes in a second is incredible. Within an hour you are far into the future and your speed is steadily increasing. You see the train too late.

I wish for a holiday.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on February 07, 2011, 05:40:00 PM: You get it. But it becomes eternal and you get bored of having vacations, forcing yourself to work the rest of your life.

I wish for Onslaught Mode on BC2 for PC *cries*
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 16, 2011, 09:18:38 AM: It happens but they improve the graphics for the game in the same patch so you than need to get a new graphics card but you don't have enough money or any way to get money.

I wish that they made every game every made for X-Box, X-Box 360, Play Station, Play Station 2 and Play Station 3 only was made for computer as well.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 16, 2011, 01:57:19 PM: It is. But then you get Killzone. You die through overexposure to fail.

I wish for a non-suicidal monkey.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on February 16, 2011, 06:06:12 PM: The monkey is not suicidal, but he is homicidal!

I wish the British Empire was restored.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Marcus on February 16, 2011, 06:11:32 PM: It is.

I wish to have aids, and be bullied by everyone in the world, then commit suicide.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on February 16, 2011, 08:59:15 PM: As you commit suicide by jumping off a building, you receive a vision from god telling you that your time has not come yet, and that you still have to prove something to the world. You fall into a pillow-transporting truck, and by mistake it falls into a lake, with you included. As you swim to the shore for safety, you don't realize how fast you swim until you get out of the lake and see people applauding you. Turn out to be that the lake was being used for a swimming tournament and you had just beat the world record. But, god sees that you proved the world something and kills you with a thunderbolt.

I wish for a chocolate chip cookie
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 16, 2011, 11:56:36 PM: You get it. But then you see me with an incredibly hot girl and think, "Wow, why the hell did I wish for a damn lousy cookie."

I wish for a new mic for my headset. I think its broken.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 17, 2011, 05:59:05 AM: You get it but its 50kg so your head ends up falling off.

I wish for another wish
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 17, 2011, 07:05:44 AM: You get it. But then you can't think of a wish and you commit suicide because of the futility of life.

I wish for a Strepsil.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 17, 2011, 07:43:25 AM: You get it but, like me, you don't know WTH that means.

I wish that I knew what Strepsil is.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 17, 2011, 07:45:27 AM: It's an anti-bacterial lozenge. (I took that from the website.)

Now you know. Aren't you so incredibly bored?

I want a notepad. Not the computer, an actual paper notepad.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 17, 2011, 08:04:06 AM: You get it but leave it out side and it rains so its all soggy so a dog takes it and chews it up.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 17, 2011, 08:11:55 AM: You forgot to wish mate. ;)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 17, 2011, 08:31:06 AM: I wish I didn't forget to wish.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 17, 2011, 08:33:07 AM: You don't forget to wish, but then your wishing ability turns against you. You wish for a Fortress-eating, Scientist-eating, Fuzzy Wombat army and it eats you as you are a Space Fortress.

I wish for a Fortress-eating, Scientist-eating, Fuzzy Wombat .
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 17, 2011, 09:13:57 AM: You get it but My Martians vaporise your mixed army to dust than the vaporise the dust to nothing.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 17, 2011, 10:28:59 AM: Nah its just one wombat and you forgot to wish again. :D Now before Debux says anything, the wishing is his right. I don't wish to steal his right. However feel free to do so yourself. ;)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on February 18, 2011, 03:41:44 AM: I wish I could wish something (I fear the ban-hammer)

(BTW, no wonder you got 100 posts mate :P )
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on February 18, 2011, 04:27:43 AM: You can wish something. But you still fear my INDISCRIMINATE BAN-HAMMER, HORRIBLE EYESIGHT AND TOTAL DISREGARD FOR INTERNET RIGHTS!

I wish Debux didn't fear my INDISCRIMINATE BAN-HAMMER, HORRIBLE EYESIGHT AND TOTAL DISREGARD FOR INTERNET RIGHTS!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 18, 2011, 05:52:05 AM: Thats just too bad than. He does.

I wish for a Space Wombat Killing Martian.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on February 19, 2011, 05:18:35 PM: You get it. But because of the vegetable loosing their nutrients, he doesn't like his former-favorite food, brocoli, anymore. He dies of hunger

I wish for a shield strong enough to deflect phoenixguard's "INDISCRIMINATE BAN-HAMMER, HORRIBLE EYESIGHT AND TOTAL DISREGARD FOR INTERNET RIGHTS!" (end quote)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 21, 2011, 12:10:18 PM: You get it but its strong because its thick and heavy so it's hard to maneuver and it get around.

I wish it wasn't so late.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on February 21, 2011, 06:52:11 PM: It is not... for I HAVE TRAVELED IN TEH FUTURE! A time when it's not late

I wish that my vacations were endless
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Son of the King on February 22, 2011, 02:12:02 AM: Your vacations are endless, but they seem to slowly become more and more repetitive and eventually you want a vacation from your vacations.

I wish the Shogun 2 demo would hurry up and be released.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 22, 2011, 06:38:38 AM: It does but in the rush they miss out on the most important thing... excitement

I wish that the bunneh would take over the world. (See, reverse psychology, you need to spoil this wish)
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on February 22, 2011, 04:13:52 PM: Don't... wan't... can't... fingers... can't... type...!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 23, 2011, 05:44:57 AM: HA HA HA HA!! OWNED!!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Son of the King on March 22, 2011, 01:12:11 PM: No wish, can't spoil :( .

I wish Khan had posted a wish...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on March 22, 2011, 05:08:44 PM: The wish was unspoilable.

I wish I had a pen that shot darts.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Son of the King on March 22, 2011, 06:12:32 PM: You get a pen that shoots darts, but you accidentally shoot yourself.

I wish I didn't need to do these differential equations.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 22, 2011, 07:49:37 PM: You don't have to do those differential equations; you have to do a harder set instead.

I wish I was less stressed.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on March 23, 2011, 06:47:31 AM: Too bad. It won't happen.

I wish for a hat.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on March 23, 2011, 03:12:31 PM: The hat seals itself on your head and you wear it the rest of your life.

I wish for omnipotence.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on March 24, 2011, 06:31:40 AM: Too bad. I don't know what that word means. :P

I wish for the dead bunny.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on April 20, 2011, 01:54:13 AM: The Bunneh dies but after three days comes back to life as the Divine Saviour of the world. ALL HAIL THE BUNNEH!!!

I wish to continue as the right-hand of the Bunneh in his quest to purge the web.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on April 20, 2011, 06:48:33 AM: Too bad. You accept the way of the Resistance.

I wish that another Necroposter would come and fill the Beer Cellar for me to Necro. :P
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on April 20, 2011, 03:26:55 PM: All his replies are better that your's.

I wish for the power to look good in leather.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on April 20, 2011, 07:03:17 PM: You do... but then it's not the leather that makes you look back, it's the spoon that's wrapped around your face

I wish that my finger would get better
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on April 26, 2011, 12:26:22 AM: They so but they get worse than before because you put them in the blender.

I wish for more active Exilian members.
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on April 26, 2011, 11:52:53 PM: You get them... but you grow jealous as they are all better than you at necroposting, taking your crown away

I wish for longer days, I hate waking when it's dark and that it gets dark again at 8
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 30, 2011, 03:47:16 PM: Over the next few decades the earth stops spinning, so your day is as long as your year. This means that humanity can only now exist as nomads in the twilight zones, caught between the freezing cold of the dark side and the bombardment of radiation on the light side. The centripetal force that keeps the oceans in position is gone, so Earth becomes one super-continent with seas at the poles and impassably rugged terrain between. Civilisation as we know it is dead.

I only wish, to catch a fish, so juicy sweeeeeet...
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: lordryan756 on April 30, 2011, 04:12:17 PM: You catch a juicy sweet fish, but it turns out that the taste of the juicy sweetness is due to poison and thusly die.

I wish to be to the Immortal RULER OF THE COSMOS1!!@212@1@#!!!!
Title: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on April 30, 2011, 10:15:27 PM: But in a fit of rage, you destroy all Cosmos. You wish you would have wished that only you had the power of deciding when you die, as now you shall pass eternity in nothing at all.

I wish for a glass of iced tea
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on May 28, 2011, 11:19:37 AM: You get it, but it's nothing but ice. So you can't drink it, what with it being solid.

I wish for sleep.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on May 28, 2011, 04:44:02 PM: you get it but only wake up 100 years later after being molested by your handsome prince (original story of sleeping beauty)

I wish for Ocarina of Time on 3DS to be released sooner
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on May 28, 2011, 07:56:08 PM: You get it. But it gets the award of buggiest and most unplayable game of the century. That's what happens when you don't wait enough :D

I wish that the earth rotated slower
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on May 29, 2011, 10:58:34 AM: Days become too hot and nights become too cold. Everyone dies.

I wish I could meet you guys in person.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: lordryan756 on May 29, 2011, 12:08:41 PM: You do, but it turns out that we are all aliens from some far-off galaxy, thusly, we proceed to eat your brain (or what's left of it :P )

I wish I could think of something productive to do =/
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gen_Glory on May 29, 2011, 01:44:44 PM: you do and realise you've been wasting your time on the internet and never return

I wish GW would stop treating its customers like idiots
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on May 30, 2011, 04:06:09 AM: But then they start loving you... too much. They stalk you, making life unbearable.

I wish I knew what GW was
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on May 30, 2011, 09:53:32 AM: It's Games Workshop, creatrs of Warhammer. And I've told you so now I have to kill you.

I wish we had moar activity.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on May 30, 2011, 09:31:38 PM: You get it. But people get unhappy because of your despotic rule and take away your internets ;D

I wish I found my gif of that dancing asian guy again
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on June 01, 2011, 04:54:53 AM: You get it. Punishment enough really. :P

I wish for a DJ cat, like Debux's.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on June 04, 2011, 01:47:22 AM: Too bad. It's impossible in RL.

I wish for more Reputation Power. :(
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on June 04, 2011, 11:17:02 AM: I've given it to you. You realize it is hollow and meaningless.

I wish mark would stop necroing.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on June 04, 2011, 09:01:47 PM: He stops. But he also stops coming :'(

I wish I hadn't almost forgotten to give a wish
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on June 09, 2011, 01:30:12 AM: No-one cares.

I wish for a more active Exilian.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on June 09, 2011, 03:24:44 AM: Exilian becomes a necroposting cesspool and implodes. :P

I wish the spambots would die die DIE!
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on June 10, 2011, 12:46:33 AM: The spambots die leaving our list of real members at a little over 20. Of which only about ten are really active.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on June 10, 2011, 01:51:05 AM: Still better than the bloody spambots. Now make a wish.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on June 10, 2011, 04:18:54 AM: Haha I wish CG had not asked me to wish. Well demanded really. :)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on June 10, 2011, 04:21:04 AM: I wish for a dead frog on the roof of the Taj Mahal. ;D
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on June 10, 2011, 09:16:46 PM: It's removed immediately by Buddha

I wish for new cool gifs for my sig
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on June 16, 2011, 04:54:39 PM: You find too many and can never put them all in. It breaks your mind with the indecision.

I wish I didn't have a headache.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on June 17, 2011, 01:59:26 AM: You chop your head off to make it go away. Sadly, your head goes with it too.

I wish someone would make a gif outta my avatar
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Death Nade on June 17, 2011, 02:08:34 PM: No-one wants to or would ever be talked into making a gif out of your avatar because they fear getting gummed by that things horrible flabby mouth.

I wish my computer could run more awesome games without going into thermal shutdown.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on June 17, 2011, 08:56:36 PM: You get an alien produced PC, capable of running games for the next 100 years. But it consumes so much energy that the goverment sends a tactical team to take you away and let them play too.

I wish I had more than one star
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on June 20, 2011, 06:34:20 PM: You get a whole galaxy which blows your computer.

I wish I was more awake and able to improve site activity...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on June 21, 2011, 01:58:33 AM: You become so awake your eyeballs fall off. Your computer also blows up.

I wish I could have two avatars at the same time
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 07, 2011, 08:39:36 AM: You get two avatars, but can't decide which one you like better. The two avatars start to fight for your attention. The stress levels grow. Eventually your original avatar develops a psychotic condition and grows another horrible face. With yet another candidate for your affection, all avatars become insanely jealous.

One day you turn on Exilian only to find the site covered in blood stains and mangled pixels as the avatars have killed each other. You are now sad, and lack an avatar at all. In your depression, you manage not to notice the flying wombat that comes whistling down from the sky. As the dog-sized furry creature lands on your head you realise two things.

1: It's effing heavy.
2: This one's rabid.

Needless to say, your head is crushed, your neck snapped and you have had your face mauled off by the creature.

I wish for a pet wombat. Preferrably one that can fly and chew through metal.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 08, 2011, 02:42:39 AM: I give you mine. Do I need to say what it will do?

I wish I could resize my gifs easily.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 08, 2011, 03:30:02 AM: You resize your gifs. Portugal explodes. That will be on your conscience for the rest of your life.

I wish France would explode. (Just cause I'm in a vindictive mood. I really don't like the French accent.)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on July 08, 2011, 03:54:08 PM: The resulting tidal wave drowns the entire population of Great Britain, I am killed.

You never again bear witness to my devilish wit and charm.

I wish I had a sword, an obsidian one.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 08, 2011, 09:49:28 PM: You get one. But it's not compatible with your devilish wit and charm. The three things implode once put together, resulting in the destruction of all Great Britain

I wish my homework was all finished during my sleep
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 09, 2011, 03:17:00 AM: Your homework is finished. You hand it in, only to find that once again you are responsible for Portugal exploding.

I wish Debux's gifs didn't lag my computer out as much.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 09, 2011, 04:56:05 PM: They stop lagging your computer. But for that, you need all the power used in Portugal. You cause a power failure when you divert all the energy from there to your house, causing Portugal to explode.

I wish the whole Portugal/GB exploding thing doesn't become a meme
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 12, 2011, 10:59:22 PM: They don't. Meanwhile....

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Laos explodes
:D

I wish I'd stop forgetting to wish.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 13, 2011, 02:22:35 AM: Can't spoil your wish dood ;)

I wish phiiniix wouldn't forget to follow the games
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 13, 2011, 02:29:30 AM: I start to follow the games. People are then drawn to the fact that aside from me, you are the most guilty culprit of not following the games. You commit suicide in despair.

Due to the sudden lack of awesomeness in this world, Portugal explodes.

I wish Debux would spoil my wish from 2 posts ago.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 14, 2011, 01:52:28 AM: I do. But since I can only spoil one wish, and I already spoiled your wish of me spoiling you wish two posts ago, I can't actually spoil that wish, since I am already spoiling this one.

Because of this happening that confuses even me, Portugal explodes.

I wish Portugal would really explode
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 14, 2011, 03:06:35 AM: Portugal really does explode. So does Brazil weirdly enough. You're around there, right?

I wish that this Portugal exploding thing really does become a meme. T'would be cool.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ladyhawk on July 14, 2011, 03:33:46 AM: Quote from: phoenixguard09 on July 08, 2011, 03:30:02 AM
I wish France would explode. (Just cause I'm in a vindictive mood. I really don't like the French accent.)

Oh please, please let France explode. Gosh that would be cool. No offence to anyone here who likes the French. My deepest apologies, but I really dont like them and there silly accent. :)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 14, 2011, 03:44:24 AM: You've got to spoil mine you know. ;)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ladyhawk on July 14, 2011, 03:59:38 AM: oh i know. But still i just really really dont like France mate hahahaha i just had to put it out there hehehe well in the lamest thing i can think of because i myself am quite lame (sorry everyone) but it can not become a meme we need to concentrate on the destruction of France. I wish that could become a meme. Gosh thats bad but there you go ;)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 14, 2011, 05:21:04 PM: You become a meme. But you become mainstream too. You are killed by a horde of hipsters

I wish France doesn't explode :D (my parents are going there, y'know)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 15, 2011, 12:03:31 AM: France doesn't explode. On the other hand, Portugal does. LIVE WITH YOUR CONSCIENCE!

I wish Debux's parents weren't going to France. Why would you want to go there anyway?
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 15, 2011, 03:57:25 AM: They don't go. But they decide to go to Australia. You commit suicide upon hearing this. Oh yeah, they're going because they wanted to have crepes (?). I heard they wanted to go to Germany to drink some beer tomorrow.

I wish I wouldn't grieve the loss of Portugal (WHY GOD, WHY?!?)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 15, 2011, 06:57:52 AM: You don't grieve the loss of Portugal. You grieve the loss of me instead, cause your parents coming here is already making me feel suicidal. :P

I wish Debux's DJ cat would not peer into the very depths of my soul.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on July 15, 2011, 02:21:08 PM: It peers in to the depths of Portugal's soul, making it explode!

I wish I could update stuff on time.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 15, 2011, 04:38:06 PM: You do, but you start getting bored of the inactivity on Exilian and retire from the internet. However, you start noticing that animals start respecting you more for that decision.

I wish Nightangel would post more :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on July 15, 2011, 05:10:08 PM: The posts do not contain the high quality humour you have come to expect.

I wish there were other bronies on this forum.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 16, 2011, 05:39:33 AM: Other bronies appear. Their massive amounts of ponyness causes massive rifts to appear in Exilian. Meanwhile:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Portugal explodes...AGAIN

I wish I hadn't fallen into the trap of writing my own spoiler tags.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 17, 2011, 01:30:03 AM: Quote from: phoenixguard09 on July 16, 2011, 05:39:33 AM
I wish I hadn't fallen into the trap of writing my own spoiler tags.

(http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/b/be/Ackbar.jpg)

Huge image is huge. Sorry, felt an urge to try to imitate CG and post that.

You do fall into the trap. However, it makes me post this uber huge image. Your PC starts salivating green liquids again once you scroll down to this pic.

I wish we could all make a LAN party of something. Oh, and get to an agreement over which game to play :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 17, 2011, 06:13:57 AM: We do so. We play Warband. I kick all your collective asses. Portugal explodes.

I wish I didn't just hit my 1000 post mark. (As an aside, I DID IT! 1000 POSTS OF POINTLESS DRIVEL!)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 17, 2011, 05:18:25 PM: You don't. Your triumph is sooo far away now. Portugal doesn't explode for this, but there is a power shortage at least.

I wish it didn't take me as long to finish thinking of something to post.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 17, 2011, 11:38:31 PM: You post quickly. You soon become an illiterate spammer. Portugal explodes, again.

I wish I was the DJ Cat.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 18, 2011, 02:41:50 AM: You suddenly notice you're rhythmically moving your arms, and see that a thousand people are praising you as the sit in front of their screens. However, you notice that you're unable to move because of this, that you are forced to do the same movements until the end of the days. When you try to move, you cause a huge rift between the real world and the internet, and as you cross over the the real world side, you notice that you're a few thousand meters tall. When you look down to see the havoc you've caused over whatever you were standing on, you notice you completely destroyed Portugal in your coming from the internet.

I wish Soccer would have some rules that helped offensive teams to have more chances to win (like in basketball)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 18, 2011, 05:45:29 AM: Soccer introduces a rule that provides every team who swears at the opposing team/refs/spectators a goal. As an aside, Ireland wins every match. Even the ones they aren't playing. Due to the lack of hardcore swearing in Portugal, it explodes.

I wish Debux's face didn't remind me of my old English teacher.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 18, 2011, 06:05:19 PM: It doesn't. Instead, it reminds you of all the existing shock sites that exist on the internet. Your trauma causes you to blow up Portugal

I wish we would take all this Portugal stuff into a new thread :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 19, 2011, 11:49:53 PM: We take the Portugal stuff to a new thread. This thread dies. As a result, ah well you all know it by now don't you?

I wish Debuz would change his name to Debuz.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 20, 2011, 03:17:12 AM: I do. But Jubal comes over and bans me for doing something I can't do. Portugal explodes, because I wanted it to (in my rage against Jubal)

I wish Phoenixguard09 would change his name to "BurningHotToaster"
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ladyhawk on July 20, 2011, 04:57:17 AM: He doesnt, in fear of my wrath and fury.

I wish I could live in Ireland. :D
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 20, 2011, 02:45:45 PM: You live in Ireland. Australia misses you and makes a trip over Africa and half of Europe to get you back. In the process, Portugal explodes.

I wish people would realise I want more whiskey!
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on July 21, 2011, 08:22:55 PM: More people do. But we turn you into an alcoholic. You leave Exilian to be able to continue your new life style. Portugal explodes.

I wish Exilian wouldn't have lost connection with my computer so often.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on July 22, 2011, 12:36:10 AM: Exilian doesn't lose connection with your computer. Mainly because a small European country is no longer in the way. Without Portugal "around" your internet is better. Live with Portugal dying man. LIVE WITH IT!

Ahem...

I wish Rooster Teeth would hurry up and release the next season of Red vs Blue.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 20, 2011, 12:25:43 PM: They do. Red blows up Portugal.

I wish you folk kept on with this thread since it's friggin' hilarious.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on August 20, 2011, 12:45:14 PM: It becomes more popular than the guess thread and blows up Exilian (and Portugal).

I wish I could fly.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on August 20, 2011, 01:39:18 PM: You become able to fly. However you failed to specify how well. So yes, you are able to fly. And then you crash. Unfortunately you crash into an oil tanker out in the English Channel. Your impact causes it to drift south extremely quickly, Somehow this collides with Portugal, causing it to explode.

I wish that the Portugal exploding thing goes on to become huge.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 20, 2011, 03:58:51 PM: It becomes so huge that some people take you at your word, actually blow up Portugal, and you get blamed and tried for crimes against humanity. And Portugal.

I wish I had this extended project finished.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 20, 2011, 09:04:07 PM: You finish it and hand it in within the next day. But you rushed it, and get a D.

I wish I had some free paint to paint my room....
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on August 20, 2011, 09:32:25 PM: You get free paint. But for to get that, you had to change it for your room. And Portugal (which obviously, explodes thereafter)

I wish I could see the reactions of lots of people I know once Anonymous hacks and closes down facebook (try to spoil that :P )
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 20, 2011, 09:36:48 PM: You see their reactions and cant help but laugh. In doing so, all the chavs that use it see you, and assume its you. So they come MESS YOU UP INIT BLED.

I wish for a fez.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on August 20, 2011, 10:19:18 PM: I steal it, for it is amazing.

I wish I could bring sexy back.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 20, 2011, 10:30:18 PM: Aw :(

You bring sexy back, but alas, get raped as you're just too sexy.

I wish for Batman to become true.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on August 21, 2011, 02:26:12 AM: Batman enters reality. Unfortunately the shift from comic-book to RL (TM) is too much for him and he mixes up his list of people he's supposed to hunt down. After having killed every nice guy on the planet in various gruesome ways, exploding Portugal while he was at it, douchebags rule the Earth. Up until they do something stupid and blow it all up, sending Earth the way of Portugal.

I wish my brother didn't just ask me for my Coke.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 21, 2011, 11:22:14 AM: He doesn't just ask you. He steals it from you, threatening to blow up Portugal if you try and get it back.

I wish there was more time in the average day.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on August 21, 2011, 11:40:22 AM: There is more time in the average day. Average days now last for about 72 hours. All this freakin' sunlight (cookie for the ref) means that within 72 years, the Earth has melted. Except for Portugal. That exploded.

I wish that the cats would stop asking for food.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 21, 2011, 07:03:21 PM: They stop asking for their food, and you forget. They die of hunger and you go spiraling into depression. Oh isn't that lovely :)

I wish for 3 ply tissues to not fall apart as soon as you get them out of the box.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on August 21, 2011, 11:35:12 PM: 3 ply tissues no longer fall apart ever. Nor do they fold conveniently. One day as you wait at a train-station, you are having trouble folding your tissue down to put into your pocket, heaving violently upon the edges in an attempt to make it smaller. So focussed are you upon this task that you fail to perceive the threat that approaches you from behind. A small dog latches onto the back of your coat, pulling you along on its path of hatred. As you are dragged along by the small canid, you realise that the space the dog is heading into is only about 2 feet high by 1 foot wide. Needless to say, you are smashed up against the concrete wall, as the dog continues on its way. While you lie there in a daze, you watch as the wall begins to topple forward. Hurriedly you staunch the bleeding and begin to rush back in the direction you came from, but the tissue weighs you down and you are crushed beyong recognition.

The shockwaves reverberate through the centre of the Earth. Portugal spontaneously explodes.

I wish NightAngel wasn't so damn swish. :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on August 22, 2011, 04:26:27 PM: Fool! Such a wish could never be granted, by any force.

I wish higher maths wasn't so bloody hard.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on August 22, 2011, 11:32:56 PM: Higher maths is now suddenly easier. Consequently they introduce a new (and extremely hard) standard of math, really effing high maths. Suddenly higher maths was more fun when it was hard.

Portugal explodes.

I wish that Maths A was actually easier than Maths B.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 23, 2011, 12:56:43 AM: It becomes easier, so much so that everyone does it, and it becomes worthless.

I wish for a set of bose speakers.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on August 26, 2011, 08:40:31 PM: You get them. But you forget to buy an auxiliary cable for them, and it's too late to buy one, as Portugal already exploded.

I wish it would stop raining on and off again.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 26, 2011, 08:56:43 PM: It stops raining on and off, and just rains on. The whole time. Forever. Causing Portugal to explode.

I wish for world domination. Nothing can go wrong :3
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 26, 2011, 10:18:24 PM: You gain world domination. Nothing goes wrong. Portugal spontaneously fails to explode and becomes the seat of your government. But you ruined this thread.

The guilt at having ruined this thread eats away at you, year on year, ruining your enjoyment of the achievement.

Finally, you die, an unhappy monarch of a tense and nervous world. Your funeral pyre is incredibly grand, and indeed swells up until Portugal finally explodes in a magnificent blaze saluting your ultimately futile achievement.

I wish for a flameproof Portugal.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on August 26, 2011, 11:25:20 PM: It becomes flame proof. But someone uses air pressure to cause it to explode.

I wish for google chrome to be compatible with more stuff.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on September 03, 2011, 05:28:16 AM: Opera kicks Google Chrome id the ass and is now less compatible with all of the important stuff, like Google.

I wish.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: CN2 on September 04, 2011, 05:48:15 PM: Someone heard you say "I wish..." and decided to finish your wish with "with a horrible, slow, painful death"... so now you have something to look forwards to :)

I wish for Portugal not to explode.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on September 04, 2011, 10:19:19 PM: Portugal implodes.

I wish for the power to make anyone anywhere orgasm.

Not for anything sexual just as the ultimate form of self-defence and pranking. Think of the possibilities!
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 08, 2011, 09:53:41 PM: You are shot dead in a manhunt for murder after causing the deaths of no less than four world leaders from autoerotic asphyxiation.

I wish for a SPACESHIP.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Floam on October 08, 2011, 10:26:19 PM: It won't leave the ground.

I wish for my iPod backlight to not be broken =<
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on October 08, 2011, 10:53:03 PM: It burns you eyes out with power.

I wish acting had better job security.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on October 09, 2011, 10:18:41 AM: It does but part of that security involves cameras in you bathroom and toilet. 0.0

I wish for more Necroposting. (Just me predicting the future :P )
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on October 10, 2011, 10:12:53 AM: You spend your days necroposting till, lo and behold! Every forum on the face of the planet has a post within the last week. Your life loses all purpose so you find yourself swiftly spiralling downward into cellery, depression and eventually a Mountain Dew soaked grave.

I wish I hadn't finished my 60 cans of Coke within a week and a half. I now have no more Coke. :(
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on October 10, 2011, 10:49:42 AM: honestly... I fell sorry for you.

I wish for the other two people to say that they're ready for the RPG.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on October 10, 2011, 11:59:25 AM: They say they are ready. Then Jubal dies.

I wish for.... a shrubbery!
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on October 10, 2011, 10:26:56 PM: The shrubs turn evil on you and KILL YOU!!! MMWWWWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on October 10, 2011, 10:27:26 PM: I wish for the RPG to start.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on October 11, 2011, 05:43:30 AM: It starts but you find that after all the anticipation, it is nowhere near as good as you were led to expect.

I wish for a new sword. :(
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on October 11, 2011, 08:08:09 AM: You don't have enough Denars. XD

I wish for more "..."
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on October 11, 2011, 11:27:48 PM: You get more dots. All over you. You now have chicken pox.

I wish for silence.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on October 12, 2011, 05:54:54 AM: YASBFDJKAB EDH AHSD AGHD WH GEJHA!!!!!!

I wish for loudness.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on October 14, 2011, 01:53:01 AM: You get extreme sound. It busts your eardrums. Now you're deaf. No more sound for you ever again.

I wish that someone came up with a wish that was unspoilable.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on October 14, 2011, 06:24:52 AM: To bad. I couldn't find one. :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ladyhawk on October 15, 2011, 01:12:53 AM: I wish to own a sword, please, please, please!!!
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on October 16, 2011, 02:49:06 AM: You find what looks like a sword and buy it only to be told by your friends that it's really a lance. Hellloooooooo.

I wish for a new Mount and Blade game.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 16, 2011, 06:30:45 PM: You get M&B: Wars of Iberia, a fantastic new historical title.

Three minutes in, Portugal Explodes. Your computer crashes.

I wish I hadn't bust the tuning pin on my guitar.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on October 28, 2011, 11:01:29 AM: Wish granted. It busts again to make you even more angry.

I wish for the skills to play a guitar.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on November 17, 2011, 03:49:33 AM: You gain the skills necessary to play the guitar, most noble of instruments. As you begin to tune your latest musical conquest, Portugal explodes.

I wish my guitars would get re-strung.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on November 17, 2011, 07:16:41 AM: Too bad. You can't be bothered.

I wish for a Ban-Hammer
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on November 17, 2011, 09:40:24 AM: You get one. In the face. :D

I wish to whack people with my Ban-Hammer.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on November 17, 2011, 09:49:53 AM: You do. Yourself in the face. :D

I wish for a Southern Realms RPG.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on November 17, 2011, 09:52:21 AM: You get a Southern Realms RPG. On the other hand it gets a similar treatment to Eragon when they turned it into a movie.

I wish for more money.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on November 18, 2011, 04:51:59 AM: you get 5 cents.

I wish for more time.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on December 09, 2011, 07:01:40 AM: You get lots of time. So much time in fact that it crushes you beneath its existential weight. Portugal explodes.

I wish for the Hobbit to hurry up an come out.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Death Nade on December 09, 2011, 11:11:38 PM: The hobbit comes out... and whacks you in the face with your ban hammer.

I wish for a non detonating Portugal.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 10, 2011, 05:46:07 AM: BOOM!!!

I wish for The Hobbit to go back into its Hobbit house.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on December 10, 2011, 01:24:36 PM: The Hobbit goes there. And back again.

I wish for Portugal.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 11, 2011, 11:30:23 AM: BOOM!!!

I wish for a super computer.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Death Nade on December 11, 2011, 11:58:03 AM: You get one, later... BOOM!!!

I wish the cake wasn't such a lie.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Silver Wolf on December 23, 2011, 11:11:09 PM: "Such" a lie? That lie is even bigger, I tell ya!

I wish for potatoes.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on December 31, 2011, 06:13:24 PM: You get them. But you are horrorized of them being handed to you not as potatoes, but named as spuds. You kill The Giver Of Spuds with your ironically-named Spud Gun with your "potatoes". Result? No potatoes (but a nice spud mush at he bottom of the Spud Gun barrel)

I wish for two new year celebrations at the same time.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on January 01, 2012, 09:32:40 PM: You get it, but the world ends because 21/12/2012 comes early.

I wish for a better computer :)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Captain Carthage on January 02, 2012, 06:47:30 PM: It so much better you have a heart attack from the excitement.

I wish we could all get together and boogie down.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 02, 2012, 09:09:17 PM: We get together. As we start to "boogie down" (as young people call it nowdays), the world decides it's the perfect moment to blow up, and transform into slutty teenage girls that post stupid stuff on facebook, leading to massive parodying in sites such as 4chan/9gag/etc.

I wish I wouldn't forget to pull my pants zipper up.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 31, 2012, 07:18:48 PM: You remember, pull it up wrongly, and say goodbye to your unborn children.

I wish the stars were all the same distance from earth to make magnitude calculations easier.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on April 01, 2012, 01:09:31 PM: They do but they align to the closest star and there are trillions of stars in the universe so there is one super massive black hole and it sucks in the whole universe and there is absolutely nothing left alive in existence.

I wish Exilian was as popular as 4chan, reddit, and facebook all put together and we are the super awesome rulers and Admins that rule over millions of Exilionites.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 01, 2012, 10:13:28 PM: Simple, we all die of the stress.

I wish I was less stressed now.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on April 01, 2012, 10:35:47 PM: You die from over dose of stress relieving tablets.

I wish for a wish for a wish.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on April 01, 2012, 11:49:21 PM: You get nothing!

I wish for all and nothing.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Son of the King on April 02, 2012, 12:17:53 AM: First you recieve all, but then its replaced by the nothing.

I wish I could play guitar like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz7l1A0zkOs&t=6m5s).
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on April 02, 2012, 12:33:38 AM: You do, and get arthritis like this:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://www.daviddarling.info/images/severe_arthritis.jpg)

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on April 02, 2012, 09:11:12 AM: You don't, work comes to you and they set up shop in your house.

I wish I didn't have so much homework. (Including posting on Exilian (I consider it homework))
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Skull on January 11, 2014, 11:11:42 PM: Well,don't post then. :P

I wish my thread was alive again. :(
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 12, 2014, 01:32:15 PM: It comes to life as an elder god and sucks your soul out through your eyeballs.

(Which thread?)

I wish I had my coursework finished.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Skull on January 12, 2014, 03:07:48 PM: (this one,since Khan's post was in 2012...)

Somebody else does it,but now,you have not learned anything about the subject of the work.

I wish I could finish my mod in a flash...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Pentagathus on January 12, 2014, 03:21:41 PM: You finish your mod in the midst of a flash flood. You are swept away before you manage to release it. And then you die. Painfully.

I wish the takeaway near my hoose was open.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 12, 2014, 04:13:24 PM: It does. Unfortunately it's the one near your future house, a retirement villa you will one day move into in southern Belgium, and so has no effect on your current life whatsoever.

I wish my room was a more pleasant temperature.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Skull on January 14, 2014, 05:35:06 PM: Someone has blown up your room.
Now,there is no need to worry about the temperature.

I wish I could visit Rome.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 14, 2014, 05:41:16 PM: You visit Rome on the day it was sacked by the Vandals and are killed in the attack. I hope you're happy.

I wish I could magically turn banana skins back into uneaten bananas.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: debux on January 19, 2014, 05:44:25 PM: Your wish is granted! But you never specified the state the bananas will be. Do you prefer green or rotten bananas?

I wish I could wake up before 11 o'clock. Oh, and being able to actually get up in less than an hour later of waking up.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 19, 2014, 06:31:18 PM: You can now never sleep, excepting for one minute a night between 11:59:30 and 00:00:30. You will die of exhaustion in a matter of days.

I wish I knew more about this subject.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on January 24, 2014, 10:25:32 AM: You do, but you know too much and your brain blows up.

I wish for ARMADILLO!!
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 25, 2014, 06:28:40 PM: A giant armadillo comes. You have displeased him so he orders your eternal torment.

I wish I could play guitar well.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on January 25, 2014, 10:16:01 PM: Your wish is granted but as you shred the guitar the guitar strings shred your finger tips.

I wish to draw well.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 26, 2014, 05:29:25 PM: You draw well. Lots of wells in fact. You can't draw anything else, just wells.

I want more time.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on January 27, 2014, 12:22:57 AM: I give you a watch that doesn't work.

I wish for a bomb.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 27, 2014, 10:49:34 AM: You get one, it blows you up.

I wish for unlimited rice pudding.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on January 27, 2014, 11:16:50 AM: I give you The Magic Pudding! But he runs away before you can take a bite and now you dedicate your life to finding the pudding. (Roughly the story of The Magic Pudding)

I wish for gigabytes!
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 31, 2014, 12:13:20 PM: You get gigabytes of data, all of which turns out to be multiple translations of War and Peace in a variety of unknown and barely translatable languages.

I wish I was getting more work done.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on January 31, 2014, 12:42:09 PM: You work so much that you can't stop, ever. You work until you die, which isn't very long because the excessive working kills you.

I wish for doge!
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 06, 2014, 11:55:49 PM: such doge. very you. forever dogespeak. wow.

You are bombed by the CIA for being so annoying.

I wish I could call in a helicopter when I wanted to.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 08, 2014, 09:10:03 AM: You do, and it lands on you a squishes you.

I wish I could see everything all over the world even as it's happening.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on February 22, 2014, 06:31:05 PM: You go insane from the amount of information your brain has to process.

I wish I wasn't ill at the moment.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 22, 2014, 09:57:24 PM: You are not ill at the moment. This is because you are dead.

I wish I was less of a midget.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 23, 2014, 12:57:09 PM: The genie miss hears you and makes you even shorter.

I wish for skittles.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 23, 2014, 03:18:08 PM: You are condemned to play bowling with old people forever (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skittles_(sport) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skittles_(sport)))

I wish for more awakeness.

(Also, can we avoid doing "the genie mishears you" as it's a massive cop-out - the aim is to find a destructive flaw with the wish as asked).
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 23, 2014, 08:01:28 PM: Will awkward silence do?

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. *Crickets*

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. *Owls*

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I wish for dots!
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 25, 2014, 12:55:58 AM: Your life is invaded by an endless army of elderly ladies called Dorothy "but you can call us Dot, dearie". They make you so much tea and cake you die of eating disorders.

I wish for a single, edible, just about ripe, regularly sized plum.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 25, 2014, 06:21:09 AM: It spontaneously combusts in your face just before you can take a bite, setting you hair on fire and scorching your face.

I wish for a tree house! ;D
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 25, 2014, 01:08:02 PM: You get a treehouse, but the tree has no lower branches so you can't reach it.

I wish I could teleport.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tom on February 25, 2014, 06:30:53 PM: You can teleport but it takes the same amount of time to teleport somewhere as it would to walk there. Also, you lose a piece of yourself after each teleportation because it's a bit glitchy. Sorry about that. :-\

I wish I could go back in time.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on February 25, 2014, 06:37:31 PM: You go back to before the Earth had formed and solidify in empty space.

I wish for one million dollars! (http://mcntalk.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/dr-evil.jpg)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 25, 2014, 07:56:58 PM: You get one million Zimbabawean dollars, which are no longer legal tender.

I wish for an ent.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on February 25, 2014, 08:46:45 PM: It accidentally steps on you. BARUMM?

I wish for a Valyrian steel sword.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 25, 2014, 09:33:37 PM: You get a Valyrian steel sword. Unfortunately, rather than being made of Valyrian steel, this was simply made with regular steel in Valyria. As such it is now a rusted mess and wholly useless.

I wish for nicer curtains.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 25, 2014, 09:50:33 PM: You get them, and they do look really nice, but they are see through so they don't keep any sun out and anyone who wants to can look in.

I wish for water.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 26, 2014, 09:29:42 AM: You get unlimited seawater, which is sufficiently salty that drinking it is if anything likely to make you more thirsty.

I wish my washing up was done.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 26, 2014, 11:24:08 AM: They are magically done, but then they all spontaneously shatter.

I wish for updates.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 26, 2014, 12:03:51 PM: You get updated on all the news in the life of Cyril Herbert Dunnsley, a seventy-one year old living in a flat in Birmingham.

He is not a very interesting man.

You get continually updated on his life and it drives you mad.

I wish someone else could get an extra wish.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 26, 2014, 07:16:45 PM: Wishes go back through time as well, your extra wish goes to Hitler.

I wish for normality.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 01, 2014, 10:59:54 PM: It turns out that abnormality is in fact normal.

I wish for Tolkien to be able to finish some of his unfinished works.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on March 02, 2014, 01:57:14 AM: He does but at the same time starts a zombie apocalypse.

I wish for avatars.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on May 23, 2014, 11:24:32 PM: There is nothing but forum avatars. No text, no other information, just avatars. As the space in your brain once taken up by "how to breathe", "how to eat", and "how to walk" is now taken up by avatars, this state of affairs is fairly brief before everyone involved dies.

I wish I was less sleepy.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 20, 2014, 10:16:38 AM: You fall asleep.

I wish for a soul.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on July 21, 2014, 02:18:39 PM: You get a evil soul. Congrats!

I wish for some cheeeeeeeeese.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 22, 2014, 06:22:55 PM: You get cheese. It's poisoned.

I wish I didn't have a headache.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 27, 2014, 05:43:30 AM: You're head gets chopped off. Now you can't feel anything. All better.

I wish for a skittle.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 30, 2014, 12:22:48 PM: You get some skittle (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Skittles&defid=1742901) and are picked up by cops and thrown in jail.

I wish I could actually interview my dissertation subjects. Would be so useful.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on July 30, 2014, 08:15:34 PM: You manage it, but are killed after insulting an axe-wielding monk.

I wish I was better at mathematics :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 31, 2014, 01:25:56 AM: You get so good at maths that reality makes no sense.

I wish I was better at managing stress.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on August 01, 2014, 12:09:10 AM: You manage your stress so well that you become completely relaxed and get nothing done.

I wish my %£$"ing internet would stop cutting out every minute.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on August 04, 2014, 09:20:32 PM: Your internet gets fixed, but then you get nothing done because you're on the internet constantly.

I wish I could prioritise tasks better...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 05, 2014, 03:29:00 PM: You are able to prioritise tasks perfectly, but your perfect system takes you so long that you never get them done.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on August 06, 2014, 05:16:41 PM: I wish Jubal would wish for something :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 11, 2014, 11:38:01 PM: I do, but then it's a rubbish wish.

I wish I remembered how to play this game more often... :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on August 29, 2014, 09:47:10 AM: [See sentence above Jubal's wish]

I wish for poverty. :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 09, 2014, 11:27:43 PM: You get poverty and it sucks. That's pretty much it.

I wish for maps.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on November 01, 2014, 03:23:58 PM: You get countably infinite maps, preventing any movement you may wish for :P

I wish for an additional week off college.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 03, 2014, 09:47:35 PM: You get an additional week off, scheduled in the past.

I want a clear head.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on November 08, 2014, 09:38:41 AM: Your brain disappears.

I wish for awesome music.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 08, 2014, 11:54:18 PM: you get awesome music. it is at the resonant frequency of your bones and kills you.

I wish I didn't get nightmares.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on November 09, 2014, 05:48:36 AM: You no longer get nightmares, but all nightmares you've ever had come true.

I wish Jubal would remember to use capitol letters more often.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 18, 2014, 02:14:31 PM: YOU GET YOUR WISH, FOOLISH MORTAL. NOW YOU HAVE UNLEASHED THE DREAD WRATH OF JUBAL'S WRATHFUL WRATH.

I wish Khan would post more. :(
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on December 18, 2014, 03:05:48 PM: Khan posts more, but overloads our server space.

I wish the dread wrath of Jubal's wrathful wrath would calm down a little.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 18, 2014, 03:19:47 PM: it calms down a little i now never use capital letters or punctuation and it annoys khan so much that he burns the westfold to the ground

I wish I was better at concentrating.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on December 18, 2014, 03:23:27 PM: You get so good at concentrating you can make 40 boxes of juice per hour with just your mind.

I wish I was worse at procrastinating.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 19, 2014, 08:19:38 PM: You get really awful at procrastinating, but no better at working, you just work incredibly slowly and die of boredom.

I wish for light.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 22, 2014, 08:02:12 AM: You are blinded.

I wish for YASSS.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 22, 2014, 09:54:55 AM: You get Yasss. Yasss turns out to be the name of an elderly donkey who takes a dump on your floor three times a day and can't be put outside because of new animal safety legislation.

I wish glyptodons were not extinct.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 30, 2014, 05:09:11 AM: They become alive once more, but eat up the Internet, leaving the Internet extinct.

I wish Thylacines weren't extinct.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 03, 2015, 12:30:01 PM: They return but become super intelligent and evil and eat you.

I wish for inspiration.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on January 08, 2015, 06:49:51 PM: You become inspired! You are inspired to start a business making shoes for millipedes, what a great idea much more profitable than silly humans with 2 legs. The profit margin is incredible you can sell over 200+ pairs per millipede with a huge market all to yourself supplying shoes to over 12 thousand species. You settle on a reasonable price for your shoes, but surveys of target audience say that only millipedes of ages 1-2 years will buy your shoes. Sadly millipedes of that age have far less legs and you struggle to make the sales you need for your business to survive, crumbling into insanely you are found several years later by your millipede brethren in a mental asylum surrounded by your loyal guardian's of shoe wearing millipedes. You think this may be your salvation as the millipedes have come to you to beg to restart your business in the shoemaking business, they are willing to help you in the production phase. You teach them all you know in the ancient art of millipede shoemanship, but sadly realising they can now self produce their own shoes for no cost they kill you slowly. Your screams are heard across the land damning your mind for how stupid you were to trust the millipedes with your inspired ideas.

I wish for weapons that can be used by millipedes.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 16, 2015, 12:00:24 AM: They kill you with them.

I wish for fruit.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on January 16, 2015, 01:07:51 PM: You get the following, for ever...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://ao-upload-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Annoying-Orange-TV-Show-Theme-Screen.png)

I wish for this place to blow up while I'm not here.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Son of the King on January 16, 2015, 09:54:11 PM: It blows up, in the sense that we have a huge party filled with balloons and you miss out!

I wish I could sleep as much as I want, whenever I want.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 31, 2015, 11:53:20 PM: You can sleep as much as you want, but you have nightmares right through it.

I wish I could get food without going to the shops.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on September 08, 2015, 10:21:13 AM: You already can, you can order it online. Your wish is wasted.

I wish I had got a higher grade in Physics. :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 08, 2015, 10:29:52 AM: You get a grade of 200% in physics, and are subsequently jailed for corruption. :P

I wish I hadn't just been sitting on my foot.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on September 08, 2015, 10:42:32 AM: Your foot disappears retroactively. Good luck finding it.

I wish I was ready for university.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 08, 2015, 10:44:16 AM: You are suddenly ready for university. It turns out you were in fact already ready for university and didn't know it, so nothing happens of use whatsoever.

I wish I was ready for university. :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on September 08, 2015, 10:45:47 AM: You are suddenly ready for university. It turns out you were in fact already ready for university and didn't know it, so nothing happens of use whatsoever. :P

I wish it was quieter here.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 08, 2015, 10:47:24 AM: It becomes quieter here. Fortunately "here" is Exilian, and this forum has no sound functionality, so nothing of note occurs whatsoever. :P

I wish it was more active here.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on September 08, 2015, 10:48:49 AM: The servers can't handle the increase in activity, and there is no Exilian for anybody.

I wish it was quieter in the physical world :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 08, 2015, 10:52:11 AM: The physical world becomes silent. Nothing is audible ever again. Musicians everywhere shrink into drink and poverty, as do actors. Sign language translators form a cabal and rise to world leadership and force everyone to wear silly party hats on Thursdays. Beethoven is the only composer whose music retains wide popularity.

This is all your fault.

I wish I had a house lined up for when I move to university.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on September 08, 2015, 10:59:53 AM: You get a house lined up, but it is literally a 1-dimensional line. This causes some issues for living there.

I wish I was more creative in spoiling wishes :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 08, 2015, 11:11:10 AM: You get super creative and spend the rest of your life spoiling people's wishes on the internet. You die alone and hated.

I wish I was a better cook.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on September 08, 2015, 11:24:02 AM: You get so good at cooking you spend all your time cooking and never eat, eventually starving to death surrounded by your delicious creations.

I wish student accommodation was cheaper.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 08, 2015, 11:25:37 AM: Student accommodation becomes free! This means that all that is provided are cardboard boxes.

I wish accommodation was more conveniently placed.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on September 08, 2015, 11:28:00 AM: Your accommodation is now a cardboard box in whichever room you are in the next day.

I wish I had a smaller coffee jar or a longer spoon.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 08, 2015, 11:35:38 AM: You get a coffee jar that only fits one granule. It is a miracle of glassmaking and bloody useless. You also get a spoon so large you can't lift it. Hope you're happy :D

I wish I had remembered breakfast.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on September 08, 2015, 11:46:50 AM: You remember breakfast, but not today.

I wish had two eyes :P

Edit: I also wish I remembered to word.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 08, 2015, 12:01:06 PM: You have two eyes, the new one is however internal so you can constantly see your food being digested in your stomach. :)

I wish I had a llama.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on September 08, 2015, 12:19:38 PM: You get one, but llama feed is expensive and you need land, so you get into huge amounts of debt.

I wish I had a better sleeping pattern.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 08, 2015, 12:42:44 PM: You get a better sleeping pattern. However, better is parsed as "more aesthetically effective". You have to sleep in unusual yoga positions forever.

I wish I was a better guitarist.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on November 23, 2015, 10:47:52 PM: You become a better guitarist, but then get stuck on tour forever, never calling anywhere home again. Unless you're down for that. :P

I wish I was a better guitarist.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 23, 2015, 11:00:56 PM: You have to join me on tour. As my support act, forever. Fair is fair :P

I wish I was a better storyteller.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on November 23, 2015, 11:03:28 PM: You now have a storytelling component to the perpetual tour :P

I wish I was more creative.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 23, 2015, 11:07:06 PM: You have to do the song and story writing for the perpetual tour. :P

I wish it was less cold here.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on November 23, 2015, 11:11:20 PM: Your location spontaneously heats to 10000K, incinerating him and everything nearby.

I wish my workload was a little lighter.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 23, 2015, 11:24:35 PM: Everything you are trying to work on is no longer affected by gravity and has the density of a vacuum. Good luck trying to catch it as it continuously flies out of reach.

I wish it was 24 degrees celsius (that's +24, not -24) in my room. :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on November 23, 2015, 11:28:27 PM: Everything in the room also becomes 24 degrees celsius to prevent heat transfer. As a result your internal body temperature cools to 24 degrees celsius, the enzymes keeping you alive denature and you tragically die.

I wish I could sing.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 23, 2015, 11:31:40 PM: You become able to sing, at a very mediocre level. It is underwhelming.

I wish the ambient air temperature in my room was 24 degrees celsius (that's still +24, not -24). :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on November 23, 2015, 11:38:23 PM: The ambient air temperature becomes 24 degrees celsius. For an entire picosecond, after which it drops down to 1K, freezing you and everything else.

I wish I didn't have a 9am start tomorrow.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 23, 2015, 11:39:34 PM: You get an 8:30am start tomorrow instead.

I wish I didn't have a start at 9am tomorrow or at any time prior to that point :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on November 23, 2015, 11:41:44 PM: You lose the 9am start due to being kicked off your course, the reason being irresponsible Exilian posting.

I wish my Tuesday was not as busy...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 26, 2015, 02:06:39 PM: Your Tuesday has nothing happening in it, you go mad from boredom.

I wish I could function better whilst sleep deprived.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on November 26, 2015, 06:46:26 PM: You no longer sleep, causing death from sleep deprivation.

I wish my probability lecturer was less boring.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 27, 2015, 12:51:15 PM: He becomes a pyromaniac and burns down the whole city.

I wish my washing up was done already.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on December 13, 2015, 10:07:40 AM: It's done, but so poorly you have to do it again anyway.

I wish term was finished already.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 13, 2015, 12:53:15 PM: You time travel forwards to when term is finished. You overshoot to 1 day before the next term starts.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on December 13, 2015, 02:33:17 PM: I wish Jubal would make a wish :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 13, 2015, 03:38:35 PM: I make a wish for armageddon as a joke. It somehow comes true.

I wish I found it easier to make wishes.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on January 07, 2016, 10:02:08 PM: Finding it easier to make wishes sends you crazy as you cant comprehend why with all this wish-making how come none of it is coming true.

I wish i had a wish.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 07, 2016, 11:17:33 PM: You get a wish, it is a demonic desire for evil planted in your brain by C'thulu and you die of it.

I wish I didn't have to pack right now.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Gmd on January 08, 2016, 09:18:43 PM: You realize you don't have to pack. Content in your decision you go to your destination with nothing, only too late do you realise the error as you are living on the streets as you didn't even pack keys or documentation. After years you forget who you were with people calling you armadillo man, you like this new name, the criminal underworld tempts you into its dark circles. You rise to become king armadillo of the streets only to be betrayed by your mighty henchman G to the M D who became power hungry and decided to take your throne for himself.

I wish I could have such an epic story.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 08, 2016, 10:14:27 PM: You get your place in the epic story of betrayal above. Unfortunately it turns out the whole thing was written by George RR Martin so we ALL die.

I wish I didn't have a headache.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on January 23, 2016, 11:26:16 PM: You lose your headache but gain a more severe ache in your arm.

I wish wishes were easier to come up with.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 24, 2016, 04:31:24 PM: Wishes become easier to come up with but also more predictable.

I wish wishes were easier to come up with.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Othko97 on January 24, 2016, 04:49:07 PM: Wishes become easier to come up with but also more predictable.

I wish wishes were less predictable.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 24, 2016, 05:41:30 PM: Gl'thah, ia, ia, Khaos incadarnum!

Kth'druuul, tsiagar tsvangar ael'th'elion?
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on March 14, 2016, 11:33:29 PM: NEVVVEEEEERRR!!!

I wish for The Khan to return.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 18, 2016, 02:09:54 PM: The Khan returns. It turns out you were never the Khan, and you have an identity crisis as a result.

I wish I hadn't bruised my chest coughing.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 29, 2016, 12:49:27 AM: Then just unbruise it you silly goose!

I wish for skill.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 29, 2016, 12:59:50 AM: You get skill.

The increase in skill points means you have less character points for your base statlines, so you have basically no hitpoints and get killed when a beetle punches you.

I wish for fluffy trilobites.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 29, 2016, 01:45:42 AM: You get them, but they shed they're fluff everywhere, getting you kick out of your apartment by your landlord making you homeless.

EDIT: I wish I'd stop forgetting to make a wish
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 29, 2016, 11:43:59 AM: You remember to make a wish, but then can't think of a wish to make. It drives you mad.

I wish I was better at getting up early.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 30, 2016, 03:27:12 AM: From now on you get up at 2AM every single day for the rest of your life, no matter the time you go to sleep.

I wish for insanity.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 06, 2016, 12:43:16 PM: sefdnksivajlemospDF??@@@*(&%^%$ npoijbo FIUAS

I wish I didn't have muscle tension problems.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on February 23, 2018, 09:35:28 PM: The muscle tension is gone, but so is all other sensation in your muscles...

I wish I didn't need food to survive...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on February 23, 2018, 10:38:43 PM: You can photosynthesise - but you're bright green, you can't move much, and you would kill for a piece of chocolate.

I wish I could think of something when someone says "what do you wish for?".
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on February 24, 2018, 08:18:11 AM: You can always think of a hundred things to wish for, but you are never content with anything anymore...

I wish I didn't have to get out of bed in the morning...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 24, 2018, 03:40:18 PM: You never have to get out of bed in the morning. This is because earth has been renamed "bed". :P

I wish I could teleport.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on February 24, 2018, 04:04:03 PM: You can teleport to anywhere you like, but everytime you do, your atoms are reassembled at random...

I wish we could have eternal spring
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 03, 2018, 11:36:54 PM: Spring happens eternally, everything starts trying to grow forever, the biomass chokes the earth and eutrophicates all the water systems and everything dies in brown rotting sludge.

I wish I could do more things at once.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 04, 2018, 07:20:30 AM: You can do everything at once, but you don't remember doing any of it, jumble activities and wake up realizing you might have committed a bunch on les including - possibly - murder...

I wish I had better fine motor skills...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 06, 2018, 10:07:58 PM: You gain damn fine skills with a motor car. Your fine motor skills lead you to become a world famous formula one driver, the pressure gets too much for you, and you turn to alcoholism.

I wish I was better at motivating myself...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 06, 2018, 11:14:15 PM: You become the best self-motivator in the galaxy, but this ends up leading to exceptional levels of over-confidence and resulyts in your premature death after only a few weeks, because you motivated yourself into trying to fly...

I wish I could apparate...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 18, 2018, 11:05:51 AM: Spliced.

I wish I could calm down my muscle twitches at will :/
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 18, 2018, 11:53:21 AM: No more muscle twitches, but you lose the ability to move your muscles at will aswell...

I wish I had more time to do things...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 18, 2018, 12:23:44 PM: You have all the time in the universe. This unfortunately means you are condemned to immortality and must watch the slow passing of the years as everything you know will change and wither.

I wish my insides felt less like jelly.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 18, 2018, 01:04:01 PM: Your insides feel less like jelly than the rest of your body, because you have been turned into a raspberry flavoured jelly and you don't feel anything anymore...

I wish it was already the Easter holidays...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 30, 2018, 10:57:20 PM: It is now the Easter holidays :p But nobody has posted in this thread for weeks and that's terrible.

I wish my brain got depressed less easily.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 31, 2018, 08:43:47 AM: Your brain never gets depressed, but that is because in a very unfortunate event it has been detatched from the rest of you.

I wish I had more control over things happening around me...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 31, 2018, 11:43:15 AM: You can will anything to happen with a thought. This turns out to be rather dangerous and leads to a lot of people getting rather upset with you after four deaths, the sun nearly going out, and a large number of dragons spontaneously appearing across Austria.

I wish I was a better guitarist.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 31, 2018, 12:16:42 PM: You are the world's best guitarist, this leads to a number of people dying over how amazing your music is and their relatives tearing you to pieces out of grief, anger, jealousy, etc...

I wish I could help...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on March 31, 2018, 02:58:13 PM: You help everyone so much that they resent you for it. I know. Ouch.

I wish I had a cheeseburger.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 31, 2018, 03:21:59 PM: You had a cheeseburger, but that was three weeks ago, so now you still don't have one... ;D

I wish my homework could do itself...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 31, 2018, 03:35:27 PM: Your homework can do itself. It's also sentient, in order to allow for this, and it can't do anything else on account of being paper, so it's basically just a sentient being trapped permanently suffering in an unseeing void for all eternity.

I wish I could borrow a big fluffly pet of some sort for the afternoon.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on March 31, 2018, 04:08:18 PM: Pent comes to visit you for the afternoon but ends up staying and mooching off you for years.

I wish it was a little warmer outside.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 31, 2018, 04:12:34 PM: It is warm outside, because due to global warming and human ignorance, the planet has lost its atmosphere and the sun's burning ultraviolet life has turned it into an uninhabitable zone of desolation and death...

I wish I could be a cat...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 31, 2018, 04:52:23 PM: You become a cat. As you don't have an owner, you have to go feral, get beaten up because you don't know how to fight like a cat, get cat diseases in your cat wounds, and die painfully. Then wake up and have to do that again eight more times.

I wish for chocolate.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on March 31, 2018, 04:55:11 PM: You forget you are a dog and eat the chocolate and die.

I wish my car was fixed.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 31, 2018, 05:01:03 PM: It is fixed, but while that has been going on, it has become sentient and has decided it no longer wants to be subservient to humans and upon seeing you, it gleefully runs you over...

I wish I was an animagus...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 31, 2018, 05:39:02 PM: You are an animagus. Your animagus is a blobfish, and if you turn into it you will explode from being at the wrong pressure level.

I wish my flat had more natural light in it.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 31, 2018, 05:53:11 PM: Your flat faces south-east, and this causes you to wake up at 4 am in the summer, while your flat heats to 40 degrees and you slowly die in the boiling heat of cruel sunlight...

I wish I had a bigger kitchen...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on March 31, 2018, 06:24:19 PM: Your kitchen is so big that it takes you three weeks to walk from the refrigerator to the stove and you starve to death during the journey.

I wish someone would buy my house.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 31, 2018, 06:34:30 PM: Someone buys your house, but pays you in cash with fake money which dissolves as soon as the contract is signed.

I wish my new chair would arrive.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on March 31, 2018, 06:52:40 PM: It arrives but it's more of a stool and also plastic and the size of one of those little table things they sometimes put in pizza boxes and it is useless to you.

I wish I had a haircut.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 31, 2018, 07:12:32 PM: You get a haircut, but it looks terrible...

I wish I was looking forward to dinner more...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on March 31, 2018, 07:26:43 PM: You look forward so much that you bend the space time continuum and end up looking backwards to breakfast.

I wish I could just do the things I want to do without the apprehension and lack of motivation.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 05, 2018, 04:40:59 PM: You do all of the things you want with reckless abandon. You are so motivated and fervent that you neglect many of the things you'd rather not do. You neglect cleaning your house because you were busy on the road blowing peoples minds. This leads to a rat infestation that spreads to the whole neighbourhood and you are fined vast sums to get it sorted.

I wish that I did not have to sleep.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 05, 2018, 07:34:45 PM: You don't have to sleep. You also don't have to eat, drink, do exercise or breathe, because you are dead. Congratulations.

I wish I had a doctor...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 05, 2018, 09:34:13 PM: The Doctor turns up. So do a bunch of improbable monsters that may or may not resemble packaging materials. The monsters eat you.

I wish I was quicker at doing paperwork.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 05, 2018, 10:29:51 PM: You are really quick in getting it all done, but the result is riddled with wrong data, misspelled street names and you have acidentally signed up your desk lamp as a dependent...

I wish I was better at being okay...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on April 05, 2018, 10:32:22 PM: You become the best at being okay and never exceed beyond average in any aspect of your life.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 05, 2018, 11:21:33 PM: You get to Dixie, only to find that they have seceded again. You get shot for being a northern spy.

I wish I could help everyone be happier.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on April 06, 2018, 01:10:52 AM: You help everyone become so happy that you get diabetes from our joyfulness.

I wish I had some company.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 06, 2018, 06:29:15 AM: One day a man arrives at your door. He arrives gives you a card. It says: "Hi, I'm Alan. I am your 'Friend'."
On the back of the card is written "The company company. An outreach group". The man wanders into your house, sits in your front room and proceeds to look at his phone. You are somewhat pleased to have company, despite his offishness.
The next day, however, the exact same thing happens. A man arrives at your door with a card. Presumably there was some administrative blunder, so you tell him you already have company but he ignores you and lets himself in.
You ask him to leave but this falls on deaf ears, so you decide to get in touch with the company company instead. You search for them on the internet to get their phone number but you can't even find a mention of them anywhere. You spent a long time entering all combinations of search terms to no avail. You try asking the men where they came from instead, but they shrug and say nothing.
The next day the same thing happens so you decide to phone the police, and report these men as trespassers. The police think you are making the story up and refuse to help.
Everything you try does not prevent a new friend arriving each day. After a few weeks your house is stuffed full of disinterested people sighing, looking at their phones helping themselves to your food and laying about the place dozing.

I wish I wasn't up this early.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 06, 2018, 06:54:50 AM: You are still in bed, you are still sleeping, in fact you will be sleeping for centuries, because some fairy has cursed you...

I wish I had less to do...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 06, 2018, 03:55:33 PM: You realise that all the things you think you have to do are all just tied in with wealth acquisition. You decide to free yourself of of this unecessary western capitalist dogma and join a hippy commune in Oklahoma. There you have barely anything to do other than tend to the land and commune with nuture. You are gored by a wild hog whilst hugging a tree.

I wish that climate change deniers would believe climate change is a bad thing
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on April 06, 2018, 04:10:51 PM: Everyone gives in and we end up paying a tax for the very air we breath for the rest of our lives but nothing actually changes.

I wish there were no politics.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 06, 2018, 06:24:55 PM: There are no more politics, because humans decided to kick diplomacy to the curb, which resulted in numerous unnecessary wars and the earth blowing up in the year 2713...

I wish I was better at arts and craft...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: comrade_general on April 06, 2018, 06:32:06 PM: You become the best at arts and crafts, but it's the black arts and witchcraft that you do, and so people become scared of you and you're burned at the stake.

I wish my house was clean.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 06, 2018, 07:53:24 PM: (This thing is called "spoil a wish", not "make a wish come true", right? I made my peace with being burnt at the stake when I was about five or six years old... ;D)

Your house is spotless, because the houseelves have finally had enough of the humans, revolted and kicked everyone out... Now there's no one left making a mess and they can dust in peace...

I wish I had gotten anything done today...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 12, 2018, 08:53:46 AM: You decide to get the things done on that day, but because it is in the past need a time machine.

You spend several decades perfecting a time machine and in your seventies manage to go back and persuade your younger self to get many things done. You have a wonderful and productive day.

You travel back to the future but realise that something you did lead to the eradication of mankind and spend the rest of your days attempting to restore normality.

I wish that it was more sunny today.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 12, 2018, 09:08:16 AM: Have you looked out the window? The sun is burning down as if wanting to murder me...

I wish my studies didn't make me want to shoot me atm...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 12, 2018, 10:20:58 AM: Your studies make you want to poison yourself instead. This does not improve things much.

I wish I didn't have a stressful meeting to go to.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 12, 2018, 10:55:44 AM: Your meeting is cancelled, because someone has started a war over Twitter and everyone needs to retreat to bunkers to save themselves.

I wish I had brought my dictionary...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 16, 2018, 01:50:47 PM: You brought your dictionary. However you did not specify what type of dictionary, or where you brought it. So you are permanently in possession of a dictionary to ensure that you ALWAYS brought it, and it is a dictionary of rude words, saucy terms and generally inappropriate things.
It means you aren't able to do anything like swimming without looking like a bit of a coin because you are carrying a book around. You also have to constantly explain that you are not a deviant in interviews and whenever you meet anyone new because of your odd choice in books.

I wish that cake and pastries were good for your health.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 16, 2018, 05:08:38 PM: Cake and pasties are good for your health, but they are made with less sugar, no butter and a number of dubious ingredients that you are not sure ought to be in a cake *cough* goutweed *cough*... They also now don't taste nearly as well as unhealthy cakes...

I wish I had less work to do...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 16, 2018, 08:53:59 PM: You have less work to do, but all the work you have to do is cleaning up horse dung forever.

I wish my brain came up with ideas better.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 16, 2018, 09:03:08 PM: Your brain comes up with a great load of brilliant ideas, but there is too many of them and you can't realise them all and the weight of all this potential finally crushes you...

I wish I wasn't this tired...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 18, 2018, 08:20:13 AM: You drink 100 cups of coffee in order to avoid your tiredness. You then spend the rest of the day on the toilet shaking before going to bed feeling terrible.

I wish I had a tiny helicopter that autonomously flew around getting stuff for me, like shopping and stuff.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 18, 2018, 12:00:46 PM: There is a tiny helicopter flying around getting you groceries and things, but it's a bit of an Errol and keeps flying into things, so you end up with cracked eggs, battered fruit and veg, a bunch of cracks in walls and windows and a very bruised face...

I wish I wasn't so lazy...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 30, 2018, 10:13:06 AM: You are filled with such a desire to not be lazy that you do as much as possible. This constant need to fill your time leads you to become seriously stressed. You start hitting the bottle, and become a complete recluse only eating tins of tuna.

I wish I had exactly one english pound more than I currently own.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 30, 2018, 10:32:01 AM: You always have one pound more than you own, but everything you want to buy is still always one pound more than you can afford...

I wish I could do more things at once...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on May 01, 2018, 07:02:19 AM: You are an octopus. You can now technically do more things at once.

I wish I could make it stop raining when I wanted
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 24, 2018, 11:53:22 AM: You can make it stop raining when you want. Everywhere. Permanently.

The world becomes an arid husk and it's all your fault.

I wish I wasn't depressed.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on November 25, 2018, 07:11:05 AM: You are suddenly not depressed. You are instead an overly enthusiastic bubbly ball of energy and your hyperactivity is so annoying to people, you are brutally murdered to death. Congratulations, you are now dead and will never be depressed again.

I wish I knew what was going on...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 25, 2018, 11:29:41 AM: You know everything that is going on. Your brain cannot cope with all the detail and information load of knowing everything about every atom in the universe at once, and so it explodes.

I wish I had a bottle of dandelion and burdock. It is a good drink.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on November 25, 2018, 05:49:04 PM: You have a bottle of it, however, it is the only bottle in the universe and none can and will ever be made again, therefore, if you drink it, you will jever be able to have it again...

I wish there was still hope to save the Earth...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 28, 2018, 10:38:48 PM: You gain HOPE. It has no effect on climate change.

I wish the dog I am sharing this room with was quieter...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on November 28, 2018, 11:04:54 PM: (I'm literally a vegetarian for that reason...)

The dog is quiet, because someone shot him with a sawed off shot gun and his blood and organs are sprayed all over your bed...

I wish I was better att dealing with humans...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on November 29, 2018, 09:24:56 AM: You are better at dealing with humans - like a card dealer is good at dealing with cards. You now have giant hands allowing you to deal out some humans.

I wish I had the ability to fast forward through work for the next four months.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 17, 2019, 08:11:24 PM: You fast forward through work, only to find yourself in a meeting where you get asked about what you did - you were doing it so fast that you have no idea, and get fired.

I wish I felt more secure about the future.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on January 17, 2019, 10:55:56 PM: You feel very secure about your future, but you loose your free will and have your whole life dictated for you.

I wish I was less tired...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 17, 2019, 11:01:49 PM: You become less tired. I basically have no way to spoil this, that sounds great. Uhm. You get eaten by a five headed jackal monster with tentacles that only eats lively people. There, that'll do.

I wish I was also less tired.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on January 18, 2019, 08:20:02 AM: Bad idea, now you get eaten too...

I wish I knew something to wish for...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 18, 2019, 12:29:11 PM: Because you know nothing to wish for, this thread ends. Since this thread would later contain the key to solving the world's greatest problems, you have doomed us all.

I wish I was more focused on work.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on January 20, 2019, 11:18:11 PM: You are so focused on your work, you frget exilian exists and everything here stops running...

I wish I had the ability to save my planet from this parasitic plage of a species crawling around on to of it, calling itself evolved...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on January 21, 2019, 09:02:58 AM: You are granted the apparatus to exterminate lots of humans and a war thirsty military to seek them out. You are Hitler.

I wish people were more forgiving of eachother
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on January 21, 2019, 11:39:27 AM: People forgive eachother... in death...

I wish the world was not ruled by old men who have no interest inba future they won't suffer...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 21, 2019, 11:59:25 AM: The world is instead ruled by Azathoth, the mindless idiot god, who lives only to show you the dark meaninglessness of existence.

I wish I hadn't had nightmares and wasn't still shaky from them halfway through the day.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on January 25, 2019, 09:03:04 AM: Your nightmares are replaced by intensely mawkish dreams making you really hate the past, which makes your current work somewhat tedious.

I wish that once per hour I could turn a thimble full of air from anywhere into a single standard banknote which would appear in my wallet that was correct for the country I was in, and enough to at least purchase 2 pints of nice beer and a bag of nuts. For example a 20 pound note if I was in England, or a 20 Euro note if I was in France.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 25, 2019, 04:42:30 PM: The banknote appears in your wallet, but doesn't expand the space available, instead potentially cutting into or merging with whatever else is in there when it appears. You frequently end up with them stuck together, the wallet suffers serious internal damage, and coins keep getting cut in half. You lose more money from replacing wallets and mutated banknotes than you gain from your hourly banknote gain.

I wish someone would come and visit.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on January 25, 2019, 05:02:39 PM: People come and visit, and you get socially exhausted...

I wish this paper would write itself...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 26, 2019, 04:52:35 PM: The paper writes itself. It turns out that the paper has no interest in its own theoretical topic matter, goes off on a ten page diversion on the subject of early steam railways in Cumbria, and as a result you get a fail mark.

I wish I could remember how talking to people is supposed to work.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on January 26, 2019, 10:20:40 PM: (Seeing as I'm incapable of staying on topic myself, this doesn't sound too bad)

You remember. You also remember talking to people entails having to deal with idiots. You isolate yourself and forget how to communicate again...

I wish I had more time...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 26, 2019, 10:37:10 PM: You get more time. So much more time. All the time. You have enough time to see the world turned to ash, and be the last emaciated human living in a barren waste of nothing but dust, freed only at last when the sun finally breaks free and expands to engulf the earth itself. You have seen aeons, and they have been pain.

I wish I hadn't remembered how talking to people works.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on January 27, 2019, 07:11:30 PM: (Yay, I'm Me!!)

You forget, and instantly wish you could talk to people... You feel terribly lonely and depressed... Suddenly, suicide becomes a viable option...

I wish I could survive the world turning to ash, I'd be less worried about the future then...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 27, 2019, 07:24:58 PM: You gain the ability to survive the exact process of world turning to ash. Unfortunately you still can't survive the ensuing starvation and lack of water.

I wish I was a better person.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on January 27, 2019, 07:30:47 PM: Oh my sweet summer child, what do you know of evil? *laughs maniacally in the corner*... Okay... now that I have managed to stop laughing and breathe again, you are suddenly an even petter person... However, this means I am suddenly infinitely more evil and you are now responsible for all the murders I will have commited...

I wish I could take things seriously...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 29, 2019, 09:39:58 PM: You take everything seriously and life is now permanently boring.

I wish I could read twice as fast (and still comprehend everything fine).
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on February 08, 2019, 02:55:33 PM: You can read twice as fast, but you need to do it by vigorously swinging your head from left to right which aside from looking absurd quickly gives you a sore neck

I wish that I knew how to speak Greek fluently
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 08, 2019, 07:53:46 PM: You gain the ability to speak Greek fluently. Unfortunately it's an ancient Pontic dialect of Greek so nobody understands you.

I wish I could just regain health from potions like in an RPG.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on February 08, 2019, 10:14:48 PM: Ahahahahahahahh!!!! *frustrated laughter* I would facepalm, but you couldn't see me do that, so why bother... Like, am I mute or something?

You regain health from potions, because you have finally decided to listen to your local witch. However, you now have to listen to intense rants of "I told you so"s at least once every five minutes... :caradilis:

I wish people would listen to me... -.-
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 08, 2019, 10:37:39 PM: Everyone listens to you, you get mad from being asked for advice all the time.

(In fairness I do often take your advice regarding potions and am currently halfway through a cup of lemon balm, I'm just complaining that it's never quite as simple as the RPGs make out...)

I wish I was nearer the sea.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on February 08, 2019, 10:48:10 PM: (I am appeased. I was beginning to think my existence was pointless and questioning whether to wage war on the non-believers)

You are very close to the sea, as a mafia boss is currently throughing you into it, with a block of concrete attatched to your feet...

I wish I didn't have to get up in the morning...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 08, 2019, 11:00:27 PM: You don't have to get up in the morning because there is no morning. Darkness inescapable has come and all shall wither.

I wish I had more good hats.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on February 08, 2019, 11:04:45 PM: (I think you forgot I'm an Austrian poet, I feast on darkness)

You have so many great hats, you have an existential crisis about which one to wear each morning...

Why can I not have Silence?
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 10, 2019, 10:55:14 PM: You wouldn't remember if you did... (Doctor Who Theme Starts Up)

I wish life had more people sitting around in pubs who would give you interesting sidequests.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on February 14, 2019, 09:57:24 PM: The world is exclusively populated by people sitting around in pubs offering you interesting sidequests. The lack of any supporting infrastructure leads to widespread societal breakdown and a rather severe dry roasted peanut shortage.

I wish that I had the ability to cause the hair on any square millimeter on my epidermis to instantly grow by 1 millimeter or never grow again
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 13, 2019, 01:12:16 PM: The instantaneous movement causes a lot of particle collisions and a significant explosion. You die the instant you use it.

I wish I had a PA.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on March 13, 2019, 11:51:06 PM: You have a PA. The resulting complete lack of stress in your life causes you to descend into the same kind of vague boredom that used to beset 18th century aristocrats, and you accidentally become a particularly melancholic and saccharine romantic poet.

I wish I liked the taste of crab meat.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on March 14, 2019, 12:18:19 AM: You like the taste of crab meat. You like the taste of crab meat so much that you consume only crab, in ever-increasing quantities. Eventually the surviving, beleaguered crabs are forced to evolve both intelligence and the ability to breath air, so that they can emerge from the oceans and hunt down their nemesis. You die crushed by the claws of the enraged crustaceans.

I wish I could decide what to wish for.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on March 14, 2019, 01:49:07 AM: You make a decision. it's terrible. in fact, it's so profoundly, embarrassingly mundane that centuries later, historians can't even bring themselves to think about it long enough to destroy every record of it, which is all it really deserves.

I wish they wouldn't put pineapple on pizza.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 14, 2019, 04:16:25 PM: Quote
you accidentally become a particularly melancholic and saccharine romantic poet.
Not sure if bug or feature :P

In any case, you are lynched by the Hawaiian Pizza Fan Mob.

I wish paperwork was simpler.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on March 14, 2019, 08:38:11 PM: Ah, some romantic poets are fun, I just have unnecessarily strong personal objections to certain Wordsworth poems :)

Paperwork is so overly simplified that it can be of no further administrative use, and all bureaucrats simultaneously have nervous breakdowns. In the resulting chaos, you are legally declared to be a small Swiss pastry. This proves awkward.

I wish I could always find the exact watercolor pigment I want
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 14, 2019, 08:54:28 PM: Quote
In the resulting chaos, you are legally declared to be a small Swiss pastry.
This is DEFINITELY a feature not a bug :P

You can always find the exact, precise, perfect pigment. However, in most cases the precise colour you want only exists in some specific tube in some shop halfway around the world. Occasionally you realise that the correct pigment is calling from somewhere beyond this earth, and that alien civilisations in other galaxies entirely have the pigment you desire. Your perfect location of the perfect colour slowly drives you mad.

I wish I had more functional-ness when it came to making myself go and see doctors.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on March 14, 2019, 09:31:41 PM: As a small Swiss pastry, the only form of democratic representation to which you are entitled is an advertisement in the M&S food magazine, and you are not allowed to carry out research into Georgian history once you have passed your use-by date, which is in 48 hours. Your life as a small Swiss pastry may have some advantages, but it is definitely strange.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 14, 2019, 10:55:43 PM: I wish that you'd wished something :P
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on March 14, 2019, 11:18:56 PM: Your wish is still unanswered! Someone tell Jubal why he shouldn't be better at going to the doctor
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on March 17, 2019, 08:56:12 PM: Jubal gets better at going to the doctor. He gets so good at going to the doctor that all his ailments are fixed. Unfortunately he can't stop going to the doctor, so now the exuberantly healthy Jubal starts dragging other people to the doctor too. Eventually all of the people are at the doctor all of the time (despite all of them being entirely healthy), the economy collapses, and the survivors vow to have nothing to do with medicine ever again.

I wish I understood more maths.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 17, 2019, 11:20:50 PM: You understand more in that you in addition to your current knowledge obtain precisely one bit of extra maths, which is the solution to a moderately complex theoretical problem that is effectively useless to you.

I wish I had two more days of this weekend.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on March 22, 2019, 11:46:52 AM: You are granted 2 more days of this weekend, at the expense of all other weekends

I wish that the next person posting on this thread does not spoil my wish
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 22, 2019, 02:02:01 PM: BEDBUGS EVERYWHERE.

I wish I was more alert and awake.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on August 10, 2019, 08:49:56 PM: You are very alert and awake: you never, ever, feel tired, and you are aware of every single phenomenon happening around you, so much so that you cannot think due to the continual flood of new sensory data.

I wish I could teleport.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 10, 2019, 08:56:35 PM: You can teleport, but have no way of knowing what coordinate system you'd be working on and therefore an infinitesemal chance of ending up anywhere other than the dark void of space. You spend the rest of your life worrying about triggering your power by accident.

I wish I ached less.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on August 28, 2019, 08:18:31 AM: You experience less physical aches, but an amplification of heart ache. You are now sadder than you were before.

I wish my 24 hour flight on Saturday would only take 1 hour
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 28, 2019, 03:23:03 PM: It only takes one hour. This is achieved by accelerating the plane to speeds that are not actually survivable for the humans inside, and you all die from the G-forces.

I wish I could persuade myself to write necessary emails more easily.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on September 22, 2019, 10:04:10 AM: You are able to very easily persuade yourself to write all kinds of emails: necessary and unnecessary. You find it too easy in fact, and send a slew of highly embarrassing emails causing you to be cast into a shame well.

I wish that exclamation marks had a comma shape at the bottom, rather than a full stop.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 22, 2019, 12:48:03 PM: The cost of reprinting every document that contains exclamation marks is vast, and pushes the world into a global recession. You lose your job and while away the rest of your days impoverished and blamed for the calamity.

I wish I could clean the bathtub in this house out by magic.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on September 23, 2019, 10:17:20 PM: you can clean the bathtub out by magic. you do so. you regret it for the rest of your life. there are some things that should never be exposed to high energy cleaning magic, and quite a lot of them hide under bathtubs.

I wish I wasn't nocturnal
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 24, 2019, 12:27:16 AM: You become crepuscular instead. It's not a vast improvement and even fewer people know what the word means.

I wish I didn't have to run a workshop tomorrow.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on September 24, 2019, 12:19:56 PM: You don't have to run a workshop. You have to sprint it. You have to hurry around, the moment you sit down you have to stand again. Instead of speaking normally you gabble. It is rather stressful

I wish that I had one more small bit of carrot cake to eat now. The piece I just had was rather delicious.

Quote from: tusky
You don't have to run a workshop. You have to sprint it. You have to hurry around, the moment you sit down you have to stand again. Instead of speaking normally you gabble. It is rather stressful

p.s. I hope it actually does not turn out like that!! Hope it goes ok.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 29, 2019, 08:22:29 PM: You have one more small bit of carrot cake to eat. It is infinitesemally small compared to the size of the universe. Unfortunately it is nonetheless larger than the solar system and destroys the entirety of the planets in an instant with its vast gravitational mass, rapidly collapsing into becoming a star as nuclear fusion begins at its carroty centre.

I wish I had a miniature pet glyptodon, no more than half a metre at the shoulder. It would be adorable.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on October 02, 2019, 08:43:18 AM: You have a miniature pet glyptodon, but the process of bringing one back from extinction requires expensive scientific methods (like those in the film: Jurassic Park). The vast sums of money you sink into the project drive you to ruin.

I wish that I remembered to brush my teeth this morning.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 02, 2019, 06:51:08 PM: The unvierse changes into a timeline in which you remembered to do it but somehow dropped your toothbrush in the loo, so despite remembering you didn't actually brush your teeth AND you need a new toothbrush.

I wish I had done more things with today.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on October 07, 2019, 09:21:12 AM: You do all of the things with today. You do all of the things that are possible in the universe. You now have literally no remaining things to do, so spent the rest of your days sat in a room staring at the wall.

We all know the top hat, but I sometimes wish that someone had invented a "bottom hat". No only would it make one's rump appear stylish - but would also prove invaluable during those inevitable toilet emergencies
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on October 07, 2019, 01:10:14 PM: Bottom hats are a roaring success in the fashion world- and inevitably, become as absurd in shape as every other kind of hat. The increasingly bizzare and impractical nature of bottom hats leads to a terribly embarrassing incident at a united nations summit for a major world leader. It is, in fact, so embarrassing that his only way of creating a distraction is to declare war on every other nation on earth. World peace is shattered and the apocalypse comes early, all because you wanted there to be bottom hats.

I wish the cheese with holes in could taste exactly the same as it does now, but not have holes in
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 07, 2019, 01:23:22 PM: The holes are all filled in with a clear substance that does not in any way affect the taste, but is also sadly toxic.

I wish my brain would focus
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on October 07, 2019, 03:00:34 PM: Your brain is able to focus. It focuses in the sights of a gun owned by an assassin. He now has a clear shot and shoots you. In the brain.

I wish that wasps would remain as they are, except they can't sting people
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 07, 2019, 03:37:59 PM: Your wish is granted. Then they sting you anyway, leading you to come to the terrible, world-shattering realisation that personhood is a socially constructed category that's in the eye of the beholder. To a wasp, none of us are people.

Bushbabies, maybe?
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on October 22, 2019, 09:14:02 AM: Bushbabies appear. You find them impossibly cute, and are unable to do anything but look at them adoringly and weep.

I wish that I had posted this reply on a different forum thread.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 22, 2019, 12:41:03 PM: You have. Unfortunately, it's the Hockey World Cup thread from 2008 (https://exilian.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=45.msg135173#msg135173) where it makes minimal to zero sense.

I wish people still used the Booze up threads and posted actual chat topics in the Boozer :/
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on October 23, 2019, 12:11:30 PM: Your wish is granted. The spoiled-ness is that I did not do it without being prompted

I wish that every time I sent an email there is a little applause noise
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on October 23, 2019, 01:18:10 PM: There is, but it is very sarcastic applause, which only makes you feel worse about your administrative abilities

I wish I could control what becomes cannon in the batman comics
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 23, 2019, 01:54:51 PM: You can now make anything in the batman comics into a cannon if you want. Unfortunately this just over time ends up with them becoming comics about 15th century large bore firearms, which are not very exciting as even the characters who might have operated them have themselves turned into cannons.

I wish my stomach was not upset today.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on October 23, 2019, 07:11:19 PM: Tough luck - instead, it's going to be upset tomorrow...

I wish I could instantly create my favourite foods out of thin air whenever I wanted them
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 25, 2019, 10:25:30 AM: You didn't specify how thin the air had to be, and it turns out that the air at ground level is too thick, so you get the power but can only use it at elevations above twelve thousand feet.

I wish my lower back didn't ache.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on October 28, 2019, 02:52:32 PM: Your lower back ceases to exist. This removes the pain - but causes you to be dead.

I wish that the UK used Central European Standard Time permanently
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 28, 2019, 07:50:07 PM: This happens, but all parts of the UK are so enraged that they declare independence, even England, until eventually the UK legally only consists of a small group of refugees who successfully claim the old UK Embassy in Vienna, which was already on CEST, as the last remaining sovereign UK territory.

I wish for a nice hug.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on November 13, 2019, 12:51:29 AM: The 30 ft long venomous jellyfish genuinely thinks its giving you a nice hug. It means well.

I wish I could do flips over walls like they all can in batman. I can't even manage a forward roll these days, its very dispiriting.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 13, 2019, 10:30:39 AM: You get exactly the same athletic ability as everyone in the city of Batman (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman,_Turkey) has. Unfortunately, given the people of Batman include numerous elderly and infirm residents, adopting their baseline doesn't actually help you a lot, and the flips over walls you can do require considerable assistance and a very small wall.

I wish I hadn't had to read about fascists so much this week.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on November 14, 2019, 01:22:44 PM: You do not read about fascists at all - meaning you are quite underprepared for the thing you needed to read about them for.

I wish foxes weren't rumoured to be cunning
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on November 14, 2019, 10:35:07 PM: Foxes aren't rumoured to be cunning
Thus, the foxes catch you unprepared and without the slightest clue of what you were up against

I wish I could turn off my addiction to Discworld novels during the hours I'm supposed to be working
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 15, 2019, 09:33:07 PM: You can do so. You discover that this has no effect, as there is no cosmic definition of you being supposed to do anything, and you ultimately have free will.

I wish I could spend a week outdoors in which I would be able to not worry about the things that are gnawing at the back of my mind.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on November 18, 2019, 07:19:35 PM: You spend a week outdoors. You do not worry once about the things on your mind. However, you do spend a lot of time worrying about the wolves that keep chasing you around.

I wish that my Dungeons and Dragons players will interact with the Important Plot Related Items in the game.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on November 19, 2019, 03:12:17 PM: Your players interact with all of the important plot related items - but in wildly incorrect ways. They talk at length to inanimate objects, tickle weapons and draw pictures of important NPS's. They make no progress at all in your narrative.

I wish that I owned a mug that had a picture of a mallard on the side.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on November 19, 2019, 03:40:34 PM: The picture of a mallard on your mug haunts your nightmares and your every waking moment. You are convinced that it watches you, that it moves. Of course, no one will ever believe you.

I wish people would give up designing impractical fantasy armour.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 19, 2019, 10:52:55 PM: People give up designing impractical fantasy armour, and spend all their time designing impractical steampunk armour instead and putting it on their fantasy characters. This is not an improvement.

I wish I could take in more of what I read.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on November 22, 2019, 09:18:38 AM: You take in what you read. you also are flooded with details surrounding the writings, such as what the person writing was wearing, the pen they used, there the pen was bought from, the person that sold the pen's name, the cushion the writer was sat on, where that was bought from, and so on and so on.
It is far too much to take on and you need to have a little stress sleep after every sentence.

I wish that I had never heard of Barry McGuigan
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 22, 2019, 09:27:52 PM: I go back in time and persuade his parents to pick a different name.

You have now heard of Dave McGuigan instead.

I wish for working arms.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on November 26, 2019, 11:04:43 PM: They work, but are entirely independant of your brain. you are unable to prevent your arms from building a nuclear missile and causing the collapse of civillisation. you watch in horror.

I wish that the universe would spontaneously generate reading lists for my research projects, so I could be certain I had read the most important books for the topic, and wasn't needlessly wandering around in the dark.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on November 27, 2019, 09:13:00 AM: It generates reading lists, thousands of them. They are also carved onto colossal granite tablets that fall from a height of 1 km up in the air, landing in random spots near you. So you are able to use them to ensure you have read the best books - but nobody can come near you for fear of being crushed and you can't ever go indoors again.

I wish that I was currently a successful racing driver
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on November 27, 2019, 04:26:04 PM: You are a successful racing driver, in that you're both successful and a racing driver. However, your main field of success is in competitive paper aeroplane, not in driving, at which you invariably lose.

I wish I could just hide under a duvet with sufficient food and water supplies until December 13.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on December 10, 2019, 09:17:13 AM: You do this, but are endlessly plagued by life admin. You have to keep popping out to use the toilet, adjust heating, get things to entertain yourself and so on. It spoils the true nest effect you were going for.

I wish that the nicotine clouds generated by those vape thingies was odourless, but still allowed the vape thingy to fulfil it's intended purpose.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 10, 2019, 10:33:40 AM: This happens. You only now discover that the intended purpose of vape thingies was to take over the world and become our new rulers, and the nicotine stuff was just a side game that has been preventing them completing their sinister plan - until you so rashly allowed them to fulfil their purpose and doom us all.

I wish I didn't feel so in limbo.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on December 10, 2019, 12:18:01 PM: You instead feel under limbo. A limbo stick. You must forever more do the "limbo dance" at children's parties against children that usually beat you, having superior smallness and limberness.

Like less has fewer, I wish there was another distinct word for "more" when you are dealing with a greater number of countable nouns
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 22, 2019, 08:58:43 PM: There is a word and it is ყვწურკარი, which has horrible consonant clusters and cannot be phonetically rendered in English. Several people choke trying to pronounce it.

I wish I had two more weeks of Christmas holiday to see more friends and get more writing done
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on December 24, 2019, 05:17:00 PM: The earth's anual cycle is stretched and/or slowed enough to give you an extra two weeks in the year. As a result of the disruption to the laws of physics, the apocalypse happens.

I wish I could get the consistency of Christmas cake icing right, I haven't managed it for years...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 24, 2019, 11:48:46 PM: You get the consistency of christmas cake icing right, unfortunately christmas cake icing is all a conspiracy and the perfect "correct" consistency is the unlocking key to summon the archdaemon Uhravalathod to wreak revenge upon the earth.

I wish that Uhravalathod would go away again.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on December 25, 2019, 09:18:52 AM: He goes away again. However you feel such remorse at making him leave a second time that you immediately call him back

I wish to meet Barack Obama
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 25, 2019, 11:28:33 PM: You meet Barack Obama Senior, but he's dead and doesn't tell you anything much.

I wish I could eat more food at Christmas without getting full.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on December 27, 2019, 09:39:39 AM: This is achieved by removing all of your body below the stomach. Food now drops on to the floor & seat you've been propped up in. You can now eat infinite amounts, but require a system of tubes to stay alive.

I wish there had only ever been one religion
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 27, 2019, 03:07:09 PM: There was. It was a suicide cult. Humanity did not last long enough for other religions to form. You are erased from existence along with millennia of human history.

I wish the weather was pleasant but seasonal winter sunshine, not grey and misty.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on December 28, 2019, 02:30:58 PM: you can now see what the mist was hiding, and you are afraid.

i wish i could stay on the couch eating lebkuchen and watching kid's movies forever
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on December 28, 2019, 09:58:16 PM: You are on a couch that is eating lebkuchen, as you ask. It is very uncomfortable and lasts forever. The phantom menace and the remake of Gulliver's travels with Jack black are played on repeat for that time, for your entertainment.

I wish chips were good for your health
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on December 29, 2019, 02:39:37 PM: Chips are good for your health. Unfortunately, they are wood chips, not potato chips, so they're extremely tough to chew, and they don't taste nice either.

I wish there were mountains near Cambridge.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 29, 2019, 05:37:18 PM: There are now high mountains encircling Cambridge. Cut off from the outside world, you rapidly run short of supplies, and ultimately the city lies a wasteland, reclaimed by the elements.

I wish my cat wasn't unwell.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on December 31, 2019, 08:47:43 AM: You absorb the cats illness, which is much worse for your human innards.

I wish I had another coffee right now, instead of having to go all the way downstairs to make one like some sort of chump.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on December 31, 2019, 10:35:56 AM: You have another coffee, but it has no milk in so you have to go downstairs anyway to get that. Like a chump.

I wish I could write faster.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on January 01, 2020, 07:29:53 PM: You can now write the word "faster" and no other words.

I wish the person currently in the room of the flat I am moving into would let me know what on Earth they are doing so I can hand my notice in on my current place
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 05, 2020, 12:31:31 AM: They are doing nothing on earth, having snuck off to their secret fortress on Mars, and are thus not obliged to tell you anything.

I wish that I knew better what the best use of my time would be.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on January 06, 2020, 06:01:26 PM: You find out the best use of your time. As determined by the US military, and detailed in a secret CIA file, it is to build missile launchers. As determined by the Bracknell women's institute, and written on the back of last year's flower arranging monthly, it is to paint small garden gnomes a pleasing shade of orange. You do not find this information useful.

I wish there was a German cake shop next door to my house.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on January 07, 2020, 12:48:09 AM: There is a German cake shop next door to your house, and you have easy access to delicious German cakes. This is because your house has magically moved to a small town in southern Germany: very convenient for cakes, but rather less so for other aspects of daily life, such as work, studies, friends, family, etc.

I wish I could think of something to wish for.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 08, 2020, 11:37:54 PM: You think of a wish that is also the summoning spell for AZFLORTHATG'FLATH, who is both a malevolent eldritch abomination who has lurked for countless aeons on the outer planes, and only capable of manifesting in the form of a jelly-like ball six centimetres across. He is unkillable and will mostly blob around your house damaging books and blocking sink drains for the remainder of time.

I wish I had two extra days in this week.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on January 09, 2020, 12:15:57 PM: You have 2 extra days but you have to spend them both sealed in a vat of tepid, congealed blood breathing through a straw.

I wish I could successfully juggle up to 5 juggling balls.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 09, 2020, 12:35:14 PM: You successfully juggle up to 5 juggling balls - that is, the balls themselves must be juggling other things whilst you juggle them, or you can't do it. As balls cannot juggle this is not a very useful skill.

I wish I could finish my marking workload by magic.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on January 09, 2020, 06:50:41 PM: You can finish your marking by magic. Unfortunately the magic doesn't like marking any more than you do (possibly less), so it writes a series of unhelpful comments on the students' work and gives each one of them a big round zero. This does not endear you to your students or department.

I wish it wasn't raining when I want to go to the pub.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 09, 2020, 11:08:22 PM: It never rains whenever you have even the vaguest desire to go to the pub. It never rains anywhere when that happens. As the clouds take a while to re-form, this ultimately leads to global drought, and the government has you shot in order to protect all life on earth from your subconscious beer cravings.

I wish I was more capable of spending long stretches of time on my own without starting to feel cooped up in my own head, especially since I also often find company exhausting when I do get it.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on January 10, 2020, 02:22:32 PM: Now, when you are cooped up by yourself for long stretches of time, you feel cooped up inside someone else's head. The sensation is unbearable and to avoid being driven to madness you are forced to seek out a way to have frequent, exhausting company. you are now a bar tender.

I wish I had the superpower of being able to grow healthy vegetables in any material (e.g. concrete). I feel like that would be a useful power to have in a more central flat with no garden
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 10, 2020, 08:45:48 PM: You can. However, as harvesting them would be injurious to their health, you are unable to do so.

I wish I had a big patchwork cloak.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on January 11, 2020, 09:12:39 AM: You now have one but it is 10 centimetres long, so doesn't work especially well.

I wish that cloud racing was a competitive sport.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 15, 2020, 10:44:50 AM: It is, but "cloud racing" actually becomes a misnomer for a kind of table tennis which is really quite dull..

I wish everyone magically had enough good to eat.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on January 16, 2020, 09:26:50 AM: I think a word was missing in the wish - so I'll enter it for you. Everyone has enough good poison to eat.

I wish that I could speak Spanish fluently.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on January 16, 2020, 04:24:04 PM: You can speak Spanish fluently. Unfortunately, you are marooned in the middle of Mongolia; there very few people, and none of them speak Spanish.

I wish I didn't have to travel all the way to London to see the Tutankhamun exhibition.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 16, 2020, 04:27:07 PM: You have to merely travel a quarter of that distance: unfortunately, it turns out that means the exhibition a warehouse down an off-road track somewhere in the fens, whereupon it takes even longer to get to.

I wish Patrick Weekes would write another Rogues of the Republic book.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on January 20, 2020, 10:23:37 AM: He writes a new book, but in a fit of artistic pomp, uses a marker pen on sheaves of tree bark. He forbids duplicates, so there is only one copy. Since the book is made of quite delicate materials you have to join a years long waiting list to read it. Then when it is your turn you must at great expense travel to California and spend a few weeks to read it with a stern, white gloved custodian supervising you & turning the pages.

I wish I could lift 100 kg with one hand effortlessly.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 20, 2020, 11:23:38 AM: You can lift precisely 100kg, as measured to fifteen decimal places, effortlessly. Any more or less and you need the usual amount of effort. You require a large team of scientists working to obtain anything of the perfect weight and conditions for this to be remotely useable.

I wish I didn't have a bloaty feeling in my stomach :(
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on February 11, 2020, 02:05:04 PM: It has moved 1 foot upwards and is no longer in your stomach

I wish I could alter the nutritional makeup of any given item of food.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 11, 2020, 02:13:38 PM: Unfortunately food doesn't wear makeup, which makes your power rather less useful.

I wish I was inspired to do academic work more.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on February 11, 2020, 09:52:07 PM: The academic community is initially delighted to discover you are so Inspired that you are doing all the work for them, but then they realise that means only you will receive funding in future, and you are chased into the wilderness with nothing but a packet of kendal mint cake and a small spoon

I wish I could have the pleasure of a pet cat without the responsibilities of looking after one
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 11, 2020, 10:08:40 PM: You gain the pleasure experienced by a pet cat, channeled directly into your brain. It turns out that pet cats are not very pleased about anything, and your life is a less happy one as a result.

I wish that I no longer had chronic sinus problems.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on February 14, 2020, 11:03:49 AM: You're head is removed, curing you of your sinus problems.

I wish that I could become fluent in Russian in a day.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 14, 2020, 04:16:15 PM: You become fluent in Russian in one venusian day, that is, 243 earth days. Unfortunately, you have now lost your job and all your acquaintances because you've been doing nothing but learning Russian for months.

I wish for more wishes.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on February 16, 2020, 10:37:08 AM: You are granted as many wishes as you like. You may now wish for great things, but with inevitably terrible or unfortunate results as they must be granted exclusively by visitors to this thread.

I wish that I had a nice cheesburger right now
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 16, 2020, 11:57:30 AM: You get a nice cheesburger. It is full of chees, which turn out to be small sapient beings from the asteroid Chee. It tastes very nice, but also you're now complicit in murder.

I wish for FREEDOM
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on February 16, 2020, 01:20:36 PM: You get FREEDOM. It's a physical sign composed of individual white letters, each 45 feet high (a la Hollywood sign). You are unable to keep it in your flat, and no-one else wants it.

I wish I didn't have to go shopping in the rain.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 16, 2020, 01:50:13 PM: You have to go shopping in 41 degree celsius sunshine instead. It is Worse.

I wish I knew what to do with the rest of the day, having frittered it all thus far.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on February 17, 2020, 02:12:50 PM: Having taken a good part of your day, dipped it in batter and deep-fried it, you decide that the rest of your day should be turned into a suitable condiment to go with your fritters. Alas, time-based foodstuffs turn out to be frustratingly insubstantial.

I wish I could avoid procrastinating so much.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on February 20, 2020, 01:06:24 PM: You always know instantly what you or anyone else should do in any given situation. you are compelled to express your opinion. You become shunned for being an insufferable know it all, and always seeming to need to declare what you are doing all the time.

I wish that camels were blue
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on February 20, 2020, 07:45:12 PM: Camels are blue - so uniformly blue, in fact, that they cannot readily be distinguished from the sky. Neither their camel-herders nor even other camels can find them, leading to the collapse of desert trade routes and the extinction of the species.

I wish I had more time to go to the pub.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 20, 2020, 10:53:34 PM: You are granted eternal life, which you can spend most of in the pub given you will have retired by then. However, you are not granted eternal youth, and you eventually lose the taste for everything, stting struldbrug-like in the corner of a pub for much of eternity whilst too weak to actually get to the bar or drink.

I wish someone would make a movie of at least one of the major Georgian epics.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on February 21, 2020, 12:09:04 AM: Someone made a movie of one of the major Georgian epics. Unfortunately, it has the same fidelity to the text as the ten-minute cartoon of The Hobbit or the Rankin-Bass production of The Return of the King. You find this disappointing.

I wish my local supermarket was open after midnight.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on February 21, 2020, 12:45:06 PM: It's always some amount of time after midnight somewhere. The opening hours do not change, and your request is fulfilled regardless.

I wish I could just curl up and do what I wanted and not have to worry about work for a month.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 26, 2020, 09:04:29 PM: You can curl up and not worry about work for a month. You are also a pangolin now. Unfortunately, a Chinese poacher has captured you and locked you up. You die from the stress.

I wish I was one of my DnD dice...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 27, 2020, 01:07:23 PM: You are a D12. You never get rolled and die wondering what your life could have been if you'd been a D20.

I wish I felt better about things.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 27, 2020, 05:49:03 PM: (I actually use my d12 a lot... But I may be a fluke...) :)

You feel better about everything, because you have been shot with a tranquiliser dart and are now on your way to a meat processing plant, where you will be turned into burger patties...

I wish I had studied science...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 27, 2020, 09:32:00 PM: (I dunno, it was traditionally a D&D joke that the D12 only got used in the Barbarian Rage rules and almost nowhere else, but I think that was more in 3rd/3.5ed than 5th which I assume is what you're playing).

You study science. The science is not green. It is therefore not science, because science is always green. Nobody ever knows what you did. That is taken care of by the appropriate people. Science is green.

I wish for a working shower, in my flat, in the location of the current shower, pointing in the correct direction, with normal shower temperature water (that is, circa forty degrees celsius) reliably available when (and only when) I turn on the shower taps.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 28, 2020, 03:43:09 PM: (I am starting to see a conspiracy theory here... ;D )

You have a working shower. But it uses up all the water in your flat and now you can't use the tap and the toilet does not flush...

I wish people had time to play with me... I am boored...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 28, 2020, 06:42:16 PM: Everyone has time! Lots of time! Literallly everyone tries to play games with you simultaneously on the internet. You now cannot use the internet because you have no bandwidth at all, and so can't communicate with any of the people.

I wish I could talk to mice.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 29, 2020, 03:55:49 PM: You can talk to mice. You are a mouse. You can no longer talk to humans, and are eaten by a cat.

I wish I had more cookies...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 29, 2020, 07:02:38 PM: You have more cookies because random items in your household start turning into cookies. You eventually have nothing left but cookies, and die of thirst because all your water is now cookies.

I wish I was better at estimating what counts as a "small job".
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on March 29, 2020, 10:19:35 PM: You are great at estimating what counts as a small job. Unfortunately, the standards you are excellent at estimating by are what would count as a small job for the entire Russian army. Making a thousand donuts in under an hour? small job.

I wish I was better at knitting. I keep making wierd, 'what on earth even is that' type errors...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 29, 2020, 11:07:07 PM: You become the world's greatest knitter, als long as you only use human entrails for knitting purposes.

I wish I could magic someone to me right now...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 29, 2020, 11:15:33 PM: You can magic someone to you. That someone is Alexander Van Der Bellen, President of Austria and probably not scintillating company by most standards. So you get to either disappear the President right now, causing a massive manhunt and leading to your probable arrest, or your power is unuseable.

I wish I had a bottle of gin in the cupboard.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 29, 2020, 11:27:01 PM: (You stop there right now, our President is awesome, and exactly the kind of calm, mellow, yet strict and fatherly figure this country needs right now! And I would be happy talking to him right now, or any other time, even though he was definitely not the someone I meant.)

You have a bottle of gin in your cupboard. It is empty.

I wish I was better at not missing people...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 29, 2020, 11:44:13 PM: Oh, I really like Van der Bellen, don't get me wrong - and I agree he comes across as calm and a pretty solid option right now. I was just trying to think of someone who was really not the sort of company you were per se after/who you teleporting around might cause problems to you, and who also wouldn't be so revolting to you that you'd just kill them. :)

You get better at not missing people. Your preternatural shooting ability gets you kidnapped and forced into service by an elite team of secret agents and you are forced to leave everyone you love behind for a new life as a trained assassin for mysterious overlords.

I wish I needed less sleep.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on March 30, 2020, 12:54:48 PM: (So, basically I am Natasha Romanoff now... I see no downside to this... I am looking forward to kicking ass...)

You don't need sleep, you are a robot, you now also no longer have the capacity for emotions... When you try to start the robot apocalypse, Tony Stark shows up and decomissions you... You don't exist anymore...

I wish Hawkeye would text back...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 30, 2020, 05:52:22 PM: He texts you the word "back" and nothing else. From a burner phone.

I wish I could play bar chords properly on my guitar.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on March 31, 2020, 09:24:33 PM: You can now play the song 'bar chords' which turns out to be a really annoying and repetitive tune you get stuck in your head for days.

I wish my computer was powerful enough for me to run minecraft. Properly. Without glitches, ridiculous slowdowns or my hard drive burning up.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 31, 2020, 11:35:43 PM: Your computer is now a top grade supercomputer. Powerful enough to run whatever you like, but takes up more space than you have and your electricity bill skyrockets to unaffordable levels.

I wish I could just have a damn shower.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 01, 2020, 07:38:33 AM: You can have a damn shower. The damned water is the bilious and vile excretions of demons and other hellish denizens. Plus it's still cold.

I wish I had a nice comfy pair of pyjama bottoms
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on April 01, 2020, 08:40:09 AM: You have a nice comfy pair of pyjama bottoms. They can only be worn with a pyjama jacket made of horsehair.

I wish I could stop accidentally biting the inside of my cheek.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 01, 2020, 05:47:59 PM: You never again bite the inside of your cheek... you do however bite your tongue every time you close your mouth.

I wish Black Widow wasn't dead.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 01, 2020, 07:59:35 PM: She is now a zombie and thus undead.

I wish for a hug.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 03, 2020, 09:58:26 AM: You get a hug. The person is ill, you are now ill, you die.

I wish I had something better to do right now...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on April 03, 2020, 03:34:04 PM: You have something better to do now - in fact you have so many better things to do now that you are utterly overwhelmed by deciding between them, and don't actually manage to do anything at all.

I wish my facial hair was food- and drink-proof.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 03, 2020, 03:46:06 PM: It is now food and drink proof, by repelling any food or drink that touches it at high velocity. This creates a number of further problems, some severe misunderstandings, and a lot of mess.

I wish my elbow wasn't so prone to seizing up and being painful.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on April 03, 2020, 04:29:09 PM: Your elbow no longer seizes up or is painful. Instead, while entirely pain-free, it also rotates freely and uncontrollably in all directions.

I wish my facial hair could grow without becoming itchy.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 03, 2020, 06:26:14 PM: Your facial hair grows without itching, but its growing speed increases to 25mph.

I wish that squirrel wasn't looking at me with those judgy eyes.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 03, 2020, 08:26:44 PM: The squirrel looks at you with different eyes instead. Your own. The squirrel is now with you in your brain always. Do not try to fight the squirrel.

I wish student feedback just wrote itself sometimes.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on April 04, 2020, 01:06:26 AM: the times at which student feedback now writes itself are: every second tuesday of the month that is also a full moon, and only during epochs where the president of the united states is a cat

I wish the next two matrix movies could live up to the expectations generated by the first.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 04, 2020, 09:20:28 AM: Quote
only during epochs where the president of the united states is a cat
Electoral challenge accepted :)

The next two matrix movies will live up to those expectations, but they'll be made as a reboot series in 2100 after we're probably all dead.

I wish birds would visit my terrace more.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 04, 2020, 11:55:08 AM: birds visit your terrace. Unfortunately, they are vultures looking for food, and are unwilling to wait for you to die before they start snacking on you!

I wish the read through was going quicker
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 04, 2020, 02:56:34 PM: It goes so quickly you don't take anything in, and it was a waste of time.

I wish I had instantaneous healing magic.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 06, 2020, 04:25:07 PM: You have instantaneous healing magic, but you have no idea how to use it. As dosage makes the poison, you inadvertantly poison yourself with your healing magic.

I wish I could do more druidcrafts..
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 07, 2020, 07:25:08 AM: You can do just one more druidcraft. It allows you to create a poultice that turns pimples orange.

I wish those anoying system updates happened a little bit quicker. Wouldn't that be nice for everyone?
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 08, 2020, 11:02:24 PM: The greater efficiency is simply used by employers to force staff to work more rather than them being able to breathe for a moment whilst the update happens. You are now responsible for several hundred people worldwide dying of exhaustion in the workplace over the coming years.

I wish that it didn't hurt when I type things.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 12, 2020, 07:51:33 PM: It does no longer hurt when you type things. However, everything else hurts, whenever you no longer type things.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 12, 2020, 07:58:29 PM: You are dismayed when your secret wish that you revealed to nobody is revealed to the world.

I wish that tomatoes were blue.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 12, 2020, 08:46:48 PM: They all become blue in the sense of being depressed. The world is appalled at you for making all the tomaties sad.

I wish that I had a bigger garden
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on April 15, 2020, 01:19:29 PM: Your garden is bigger. In fact the whole world is now your back yard. You are overwhelmed with all the problems in your back yard, and die of the psychological strain that puts on you.

I wish my editor got back to me faster...
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on April 15, 2020, 01:55:27 PM: Your editor gets back to you faster, in fact almost instantaneously. Unfortunately, all they ever ask for is updates and changes to stuff you've already written, including things you've changed before at their request. You are unable to ever complete anything to their satisfaction.

I wish my employer could work out which team I'm in.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 15, 2020, 07:58:45 PM: Your employer works out that you're in the baseball team. It does not go well for you.

I wish I didn't have psoriasis.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 27, 2020, 01:03:39 PM: Your psoiasis is cured by removing your skin,whichquickly becomes more irritating.

I wish I had the option to grow a decent looking beard.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 27, 2020, 01:13:47 PM: You can grow a decent looking beard, but only on your belly, not on your face. This is unhelpful.

I wish I owned an actual lute.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on April 27, 2020, 08:12:17 PM: You own an actual lute. It's twenty feet tall, you can only play it if you climb up on a ladder, and all the notes are too low to be audible by humans.

I wish my left knee still worked properly.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 27, 2020, 08:45:59 PM: Your left knee gets up, leaves your body and goes out to work reliably every single day. However, it refuses to pay any rent, and you don't get to use it for walking on.

I wish exercise wasn't so much actual effort.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 28, 2020, 08:20:58 AM: Excercise is less effort for you. However you have to endure the effort for an unnecessarily long time first.

I wish I could invent a cure for an illness people suffer with.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on April 29, 2020, 07:04:44 PM: You can invent a cure for an illness that people suffer with. Unfortunately only two people in the whole world suffer from this illness, and its only effect is to make their left little twitch intermittently every third Wednesday of the month, so the cure is of limited usefulness.

I wish I didn't have to boil pasta to make it edible.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 29, 2020, 07:11:04 PM: You don't have to boil pasta to make it edible! You do however still have to boil it to make it actually taste nice.

I wish the washing up did itself.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on April 29, 2020, 11:22:18 PM: The washing up does itself. However, the drying-up does not: your newly animated crockery and cutlery become fed up of sitting, wet and dripping, on the drying rack, and run off to seek new homes.

I wish my shoes didn't wear out.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on April 30, 2020, 12:57:50 PM: Your shoes don't wear out. This miraculous property is noticed by everyone, and the government confiscates the shoes in order to study them. You now have no shoes.

I wish I knew more about how to care for Hasdrubal the Pigeon
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on April 30, 2020, 08:46:28 PM: You know absolutely everything possible about how to care for Hasdrubal the Pigeon. While you've been acquiring this vast store of knowledge, the pigeon has finished fledging and flown away.

I wish my central heating wasn't full of limescale.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on May 01, 2020, 11:09:29 AM: All the limescale instantly disappears from your central heating, leaving literally nothing in its place. The series of localised vacuums and implosions and precipitate drop in pressure that result break the system far worse than the limescale.

I wish I knew what to do today.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Caradìlis on May 01, 2020, 01:49:39 PM: You know what to do today. You have far too much on your plate and get stressed.

I wish I wasn't dead.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on May 01, 2020, 05:19:40 PM: You are not dead! Unfortunately, *waves at everything going on in the world*.

I wish I had done stuff today.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on May 02, 2020, 05:34:13 PM: In order to have done stuff today, it is necessary for you to travel back in time. But you are not an expert time traveller. This amateur meddling has a terrifying knock on effect on the nature of reality that ultimately leads to everything tasting like lime yogurt.

I wish I could just eat, sleep, see the people I love and DM RPGs. Forever.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on May 02, 2020, 05:39:26 PM: You are obliged to do all these things simultaneously for ever. Your existence becomes an unending warped dream, as food is pumped into your body by a machine but you stay permanently asleep. The dream is of the people you love, unchanging, never able to grow or flourish or improve, and it loops, day by day. Meanwhile your permanently asleep body is technically DMing an RPG, though its ability to do so is limited by the fact that you are permanently asleep which limits your engagement with the players.

I wish I had a violin and the ability to play it.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on May 02, 2020, 08:13:33 PM: You have a violin and the ability to play it, but never both at the same time. You are cursed to either torment your neighbours with screechy versions of three blind mice, or stare longingly at your violin, knowing that right now you could play concertos, but that the ability will vanish when you pick it up.

I wish I could realise I am procrastinating at the time, rather than 3 hours later when it suddenly occurs to me that I haven't done anything
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on May 02, 2020, 08:24:55 PM: You realise you are procrastinating at the time, but procrastinate over doing anything about this realisation, leading to you in a worse state due to your procrastination now being painfully self aware.

I wish I could have a chat with some of the characters from stories I've written.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on August 13, 2020, 12:00:14 AM: You can. Unfortunately, the characters from your stories ask you such deep metaphysical questions about the nature of reality and their own existance, the question of free will and determinism in fictional worlds, and how much jam costs in Uzbekistan, that you get confused and spend the next week firmly convinced that you are, in fact, a small jar of Uzbekistani marmalade.

I wish I could get Chinese takeaway at 3am without waking my housemates up.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 14, 2020, 11:11:09 AM: You can, but unfortunately it's 3am on Chinese time, which is 8pm in the UK and a perfectly normal time to get Chinese takeaway.

I wish my ocarina wasn't a quarter of a semitone out of tune.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on August 21, 2020, 02:37:42 AM: your ocarina is no longer out of tune, because it is no longer a musical instrument- reality has been shaped to my perception of it, namely a wild misunderstanding of the zelda games, which i do not actually play, and all ocarinas are now magical time portals and also do not actually exist.

I wish the people who write fantasy tv shows and reboots always got the continuity perfect.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on August 21, 2020, 10:23:27 AM: People who write fantasy TV shows can get the continuity perfect - but with an effect like quantum uncertainty, so that removing every last imperfection takes an infinite length of time, and so the show is never released.

I wish there was more bacon.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on August 25, 2020, 11:39:26 AM: There is more bacon, but it is all rotten.

I currently type at an ok speed, but I wish I could type a few words a minute more quickly.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on August 25, 2020, 03:45:06 PM: You can type a few words a minute more quickly than you would otherwise have done, which unfortunately messes up your life because you didn't need a whole minute to write those words and now you risk time travelling and destroying your past if you send short text messages: furthermore, if you type more than a few words, you're back to normal speed.

I wish I was a better virtual pub landlord and could actually serve people drinks over video chat.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Glaurung on September 19, 2020, 10:20:06 PM: You can serve drinks over video chat. Unfortunately, your recipients' systems are not set up for DOIP (the "drinks over IP" service), so the drinks end up dribbling out of headphones and screens. Your "customers" are unhappy about this.

I wish cooking my own food didn't mean having to do washing-up.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepCandle Games on September 19, 2020, 11:59:37 PM: You no longer require washing up as all of your kitchenware cleans itself as you empty the contents into plates and bowls, while all of your plates and bowls clean themselves while you eat off of them. Unfortunately this is because your kitchen is an unstable point in spacetime and creatures from other dimensions and realities are stealing your food. You now have to eat off the floor to avoid this problem, but your kitchenware is remarkably spotless. You can even see your face in it!

I wish all cities were planned and designed to perfect function, and with beautiful construction in mind reflecting the culture that established them.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on September 20, 2020, 12:47:05 PM: All cities are beautifully crafted and designed to perfectly function. As dishwashers. They're not very good for actually living in now.

I wish it was easier to look up obscure bits of wetland folklore.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on September 20, 2020, 05:37:27 PM: It is 1% easier to look up, however the dryland folklore is 1% more difficult as a result. Neither of these changes are very noticeable.

I wish that the Tyrannosaurus Rex had been instead called the Tyrannosaurus Regina
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on September 29, 2020, 12:10:21 AM: The tyrannosaurus rex was called the tyrannosaurus regina, which is indeed a better name for a dinosaur. unfortunately, this deeply offended Regina, a somewhat fierce paleontologist who assumed it was named after her. In her annoyedness, she had it renamed the tyrannosaurus Wuffles, after the curator's very annoying small dog, which is a terrible name for a dinosaur.

I wish that I felt resolute and full of energy when I woke up in the morning, as opposed to right before I'm ready to go to sleep.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on October 09, 2020, 03:53:26 PM: To achieve this, you sleep for an extra hour in the morning. In this hour you relive the hour leading up to going to bed - allowing you to have that feeling of resoluteness and energy before you wake.

I wish that I had 5 wispa bars.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 09, 2020, 11:52:40 PM: You legally own five wispa bars. However, you don't know which wispa bars, and they are scattered across the world with a small tag on the outside of the wrapper. You spend your life wandering the stores across the planet looking for the wispa bars that are by right yours.

I wish that I could get to sleep easily at will.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: DeepCandle Games on October 10, 2020, 05:54:44 AM: You can sleep whenever you want, but also fall asleep whenever you think of fatigue, the word "tired" or other similar concepts - you also have no control over when you wake up!

I wish I had more confidence
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on October 10, 2020, 10:32:51 AM: You have so much confidence you practically believe you can fly. You can't, and this goes badly for you.

I wish I had more mental fortitude
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on March 16, 2021, 10:15:36 PM: You have more mental fortitute, but no more physical fortitude than you currently do, which leads to you picking fights with oversized dragons and coming off the worst.

I wish I could stop falling off of things in Minecraft.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on March 30, 2021, 09:38:37 AM: You stop falling off things in Minecraft by virtue of no longer being in Minecraft, which you are now permanently banned from playing in order that you won't fall off things in it.

I wish I could write my thesis significantly faster.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on April 13, 2021, 08:28:53 AM: You can write it as quickly as you are able, however the increased speed leads to a proportional dip in quality.

I wish I were better at thinking of amusing responses to posts in this thread
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on June 13, 2021, 12:53:47 PM: You are so good at thinking of amusing responses to posts in this thread that anyone who reads the thread dies of side-splitting laughter. You now have fewer friends and nobody left to use your supreme talent on.

I wish my arm worked normally again.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Ierne on July 04, 2021, 04:27:35 PM: your arm works normally, as defined by a community of small, octopus-like beings from a planet in the Andromeda galaxy - Ie, you no longer have bones.

I wish I was more emotionally robust.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on July 04, 2021, 11:38:48 PM: You become more emotionally robust, but specifically the emotion that gets more robust is ennui, and you are now in a permanent impregnable state of slightly francophone boredom. You end up owning too many rollneck jumpers and gesticulating loosely with cigarettes that you can't quite be bothered to smoke.

I wish landlords could be abolished as an institution.
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Tusky on January 31, 2024, 10:44:55 AM: They are abolished! Along with the concept of renting. You now can only live for free with your parents or buy a home outright.

I wish that if I do the "buddy jesus" pose from dogma, the epic sax guy music can me heard near me (at a reasonable volume)
Title: Re: Spoil a wish
Post by: Jubal on January 31, 2024, 12:51:04 PM: Unfortunately, what is near in an absolute sense encompasses a lot more than what is near in a usual human sense.

Everyone on the planet and indeed in the nearest few galaxies now hears Epic Sax Guy simultaneously when you do the Buddy Jesus pose. The hit to the world economy from literally the whole planet hearing the song and getting distracted at once is significant due to the sizeable number of car crashes, aeroplane pilot errors, and other rather major things going wrong. The fact that every animal can also hear it leads to the collapse of bee colonies and other ecosystem failures, leading to widespread starvation in parts of the world. I hope you're happy.

I wish my workplace would move closer to my home to shorten my commute.