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Messages - HanSolo

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General Chatter - The Boozer / Re: Hasdrubal the Pigeon
« on: May 01, 2020, 07:25:29 PM »
My interpretation of the video: "What is neck? Is this neck? How do neck? Oooo something shiney!"

(also looking forward to the Hasdrubal emoji)

H. E. Strachan
Preferably not 13th April but otherwise don't mind

Thanks for setting this up :pangolin:

Great work so far! Also, have the Kadjis had lessons from Sauron in square mountain base building? If so, they've beaten him by remembering the fourth wall! :sauron:

...oh no wait, that's the priest of Mushtar who remembered, my bad...

Any update on where the writing got to? Will we get to see what happened to what we started?  :D

"They should build me libraries" - love it! Very Pratchett

Are you still looking for people to sign up?  :)

I also submitted a thing  :eowyn:

Exilian Articles / Re: The Two Cows Theory: Byzantine Edition
« on: November 13, 2017, 05:34:11 PM »
:D :D :D :D You're getting good at this!

Tolkien & LOTR / Re: Middle-Earth General Election: THE RESULTS
« on: January 04, 2016, 02:13:25 PM »
Shagrat of the Shiny Shirt Society would like to graciously thank all of his voters. While the mighty Shagrat does not have enough power to fulfill the designs of the Shiny Shirt Society at this time, he will not be a powerless pawn in this government. As the only Orc representative this government is only improved by his great presence. He will wear his own Shiny Shirt with pride and smite any who scorn him!
In future though, VOTE MORE FOR SSS, VOTE MORE FOR SHAGRAT!!!  :orc:

(Do not listen to the vile rumours of his involvement in the voting standstill: these are lies spread a race-which-will-remain-nameless-for-Shagrat's-safety-but-you-know-which-one-really!)

Tolkien & LOTR / Re: Voting Window & Advice Thread
« on: May 05, 2015, 09:03:48 PM »
... shagrat?  :orc:

Tolkien & LOTR / Re: Voting Window & Advice Thread
« on: April 30, 2015, 08:47:30 AM »

PS - The SSS would like to propose an early treaty to Hobbits guaranteeing their continued safety and independence in the Shire in exchange for the original Shiny is NOT a museum piece, it is SHAGRAT'S!!!

If you've lost it feel free to join the SSS and all non-elven folk in a grand quest to recover it!

Once again, VOTE SSS, VOTE SHAGRAT!!!  :orc:

PPS - Shagrat does not care if he is breaking the rules by posting this - free speech is a newly won Right now that the Dark Lord is gone, so you will not silence me, I mean him!

GARN! The SSS and Shagrat take offense at MACHO's implied slur against the "more unpleasant" Orcish race >:( This proves what we claimed before: the Elves are evil under their pretty demean. Shagrat actually agrees with Elf of Mirkwood - the Elves should be left to educate themselves, segregated from the rest of the peoples of Middle Earth. They've done that for ages past, hoarding knowledge and sneering at us "lesser folk". Let them educate themselves still, while Shagrat and the SSS build a better, brighter, shinier education system for everyone else!

Firstly, Shagrat supports equal education for women and men and is confused as to how this is an issue for the rest of Middle Earth. For centuries Orcs have not discriminated on this basis: our clothes, our duties, even our names are non-gender specific! Shagrat wishes to share this equality with other races, even suggesting identical uniforms to promote the idea that 'male' and 'female' only exist in the loins not the mind.

In terms of what should be taught, while Shagrat unfortunately may not, in this election, spread his wisdom throughout Middle Earth, his curriculum would certainly include lessons on himself and the ideals of the SSS. Regaining what is Yours and Never Surrendering are important life lessons, as is the historical lessons on the Importance of Shinyness. Military training should also be encouraged, even compulsory to defend against the weakness this land suffered during the last days of the Last War. Would Saruman have conquered the Shire in a few months if the Hobbits had had compulsory military training? No. Would Minas Tirith have had so few defenders in its walls if it's farmers and women had been trained in arms instead of evacuated? No. Would the Men of Umbar have drowned themselves at the sight of a ghost army if they'd had proper military training not just naval? Possibly not. Either way, military training is an essential part of the upcoming educational system.

As you can see, Shagrat is a brilliant educationalist, better than those Elvish sneaks, and the SSS is not afraid to put pressure on others to change their way of thinking, to educate them to the right way of thinking.

Vote SSS, Vote Shagrat!  :orc:


We shall claim Nurnen, Angmar, Rhudar, Upper Anduin and Minas Tirith

(Do not mock Shagrat's choices but applaud his bold claim on the people of the Original Capital City - he and his supporters may stage a Glorious March there)


Tolkien & LOTR / Re: Middle-earth General Election: Hustings Round!
« on: April 07, 2015, 11:38:46 PM »

The simple message is:
He will give you a free SHINY SHIRT of MITHRIL even before he reclaims his own that was stolen by a wizard...
Shagrat only hurts his enemies, but ALWAYS HELPS his friends - make sure you're a friend!
Or if you're into Orc ladies/men as some near Isengard must have been to make Uruk-hai babies, Shagrat will get his cousins to "get to know you"

Simple enough?
VOTE SHAGRAT!!!  :orc:

Tolkien & LOTR / Re: Middle-earth General Election: Hustings Round!
« on: April 07, 2015, 08:51:30 PM »
Shagrat and the SSS have read all your comments and questions, but question your hostility. When asked about the possibility of failing to win this election, Shagrat scoffs: if we believe in losing we cannot win. Isn't that how Denethor died, he stopped thinking of winning? Shagrat is not greater than that once great Steward though, and he and the SSS will continue fighting even if all others are against them.

Next, we still believe Mithril mining can work. There would be other mines as well: Mordor has vast seams of coal, iron and other minerals that the Dark Lord used for His war and the SSS would re-open them. We even believe we could increase production as it would no longer be disheartened slaves toiling but hardy paid labourers. Anyone working for the government will be paid well, either in currency or bonuses such as top healthcare or free alcohol. If you support Shagrat, he will support you!

The Hippies/Communists may at this point complain about wanting to re-garden Mordor. That's all well and good but would you rather we started mining in a more 'picturesque' location and make that an eyesore? No. Shagrat will mine places which are already eyesores, though if Mount Doom is properly spent and extinct maybe an agricultural project may be set up on its slopes to provide food for the nation. Shagrat is not a farmer himself but the SSS has some of the top (if only because they're the closest thing this side of alchemy) scientists who could turn barren places like Mordor and the Misty Mountains into Positive Production Zones.

Finally just because the War of the Rings is over doesn't mean all wars are at an end: it is foolish to think Peace is a lasting thing. King Elessar may have sent negotiators to Harad and Khand etc BUT that doesn't mean diddly now he's dead. Easterners and Southerners could be rebuilding their armies as we debate the finer details of who can die - we could all DIE! So Shagrat says we should be prepared. And, as stated earlier, most of the population of Middle Earth, although tired of a long drawn out war, are still socially geared towards it with small boys celebrating fighting fathers. GAP wants to brainwash them otherwise but Shagrat says we should use what we have and delight in it!

You never know - some of those Elves travelling to Sea may actually be travelling to plot with our neighbouring enemies!

Protect yourselves then, and VOTE SHAGRAT, VOTE SSS! :orc:

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