1621
Warhammer; Total War / Progress Log
« on: August 28, 2011, 10:43:49 PM »
A new progress log, here we go. 
- Fixed the Tomb King and Araby building error
- Fixed the Tomb King and Araby building error
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1622
Narnia Total War / Planned Faction List
« on: August 25, 2011, 12:44:58 PM »
Mostly for my use, but this is how factions and culture will map through.
BARBARIAN (Barbarian/Northern)
Germans -> Marauders
Dacia -> Harfang
Spain -> Dwarfs
GREEK (Narnian)
Thrace -> Narnia
Macedon -> Archenland
Seleucids -> Kingdom of Terebinthia
Greek Cities -> Lone Islanders
CARTHAGINIAN (Calormene)
Carthage -> Calormen
Numidia -> Munesh
EASTERN (Southern)
Armenia -> Surval
Pontus -> Erina
ROMAN (Telmarine)
Scipii -> Telmarine Narnians
Julii -> Old Telmar
Brutii -> Kingdom of Koraly
BARBARIAN (Barbarian/Northern)
Germans -> Marauders
Dacia -> Harfang
Spain -> Dwarfs
GREEK (Narnian)
Thrace -> Narnia
Macedon -> Archenland
Seleucids -> Kingdom of Terebinthia
Greek Cities -> Lone Islanders
CARTHAGINIAN (Calormene)
Carthage -> Calormen
Numidia -> Munesh
EASTERN (Southern)
Armenia -> Surval
Pontus -> Erina
ROMAN (Telmarine)
Scipii -> Telmarine Narnians
Julii -> Old Telmar
Brutii -> Kingdom of Koraly
1623
Discussion and Debate - The Philosopher's Plaza / Libya going critical
« on: August 21, 2011, 07:04:25 PM »
As I write this, news incoming that rebel fighters have entered Tripoli from the west, rebels have risen up in the east of the city as well and Gadaffi's aides seem to rapidly being arrested or are deserting. It's likely he still has a lot of fighters left, but nobody knows how many.
This appears to be the crunch point...
This appears to be the crunch point...
1624
Discussion and Debate - The Philosopher's Plaza / Internet Subcultures
« on: August 21, 2011, 04:31:56 PM »
Okay, to introduce the debate we have PG and I, YouTube style...
http://www.youtube.com/embed/vlHWclJHdvI
http://www.youtube.com/embed/JGsdiezPzQ8
So yeah, what do you think about the point and uses of internet subcultures?
http://www.youtube.com/embed/vlHWclJHdvI
http://www.youtube.com/embed/JGsdiezPzQ8
So yeah, what do you think about the point and uses of internet subcultures?
1625
General Chatter - The Boozer / Exilian: A History
« on: August 20, 2011, 11:34:41 AM »
Herein shall lie the chronicles of Exilian...
GESTA EXILIANORON (TIMELINE/ANNALS)
2008
Mar 18: Exilian Founded. Pentagathus is M&B Admin, Jubal Head Admin, Marcus Tech Admin. First WBU begins.
Mar 30: Citizenship Established
Apr 07: Southern Realms mini-beta released
May 24: Private Clark ratified as Global Moderator
Jun 03: SOTK becomes first elected admin
Jul 19: Dripping D becomes a global moderator.
Aug 31: First Exilian Games begin with TWC, Exilian, and TW Heaven teams. Word Association thread also begins: Stormcloud with "Flying" is first post.
Sep 27: Private Clark becomes M&B admin. Pentagathus retains admin powers.
Oct 4: First draft of constitution created
Oct 11: Stormcloud beats CN2 7-3 to become a Magister Militae (Global Mod)
Oct 13: Pentagathus abuses his power to turn Exilian into Wibulnubniblia, banning Marcus temporarily and adding pornographic links to the site, and is removed, given the position of King of the Wibulnibs for posterity instead.
Oct 17: First Exilian Games ends with Exilian coming joint second (with TW Heaven) and TWC first.
Oct 27: Constitution ratified
Nov 15: Another abuse of remaining powers by Pentagathus. Powers removed again. Andalus beats DD 6-5 to take moderator post.
Dec 2: exilian.100mb.com site launched
Dec 20: Stormcloud becomes elected admin, beating Dripping D 6-4
2009
Jan 12: Dripping D returns to a moderator post, beating SOTK in the by-election 6-3
Jan 18: Warhammer TW Beta release
Jan 20: First WBU Ends, Jubal with 1000th post. WBU 2 starts.
Mar 30: Andalus re-elected as moderator with 7 votes, CN2 and Goldyrulz gain 2 apiece
Apr 18: Private Clark falls to a Vote of No Confidence
Apr 30: Darkstar becomes M&B Admin, Persian Invasion beta release
Jun 21: First full election season begins.
Jul 6: Election ends. DD & BoyNinja are moderators, Stormcloud is re-elected as admin
Sept 6: Europe 1080 released
Sep 11: Comrade_General becomes RTW admin
Oct 15: BoyNinja becomes M&B admin
Dec 28: First Amendment to the constitution is ratified.
2010
Jan 24: Unchallenged election: Dimos is admin, Silver Wolf and DD are moderators
Feb 12: Final Southern Realms release
Jun 28 - July 4: Election, Dimos is unseated as admin by Silver Wolf, DD and LordRyan are moderators
Jul 6: "New Deal" passed allowing subforums and additions to the site as requested by members
Oct 31: Persian Invasion patch released
Nov 8: BoyNinja resigns as M&B admin
Dec 2: Warhammer TW campaign release
2011
Jan 15: Narnia TW mini-beta release
Jan 22: Phoenixguard ratified replacing BoyNinja as M&B admin. Discussion Collonade created
Jan 25: Election: Silver Wolf is re-elected as admin, Dripping D and IFMN are moderators
Feb 1: Second Amendment ratified, tribunes created
Feb 16: Silver Wolf resigns as admin
Feb 19: Debux and Calisthenis elected as first tribunes
Mar 13: By-Election, Son of the King returns to adminhood
Mar 20: JuBot released for the first time
Apr 15: Debux gets 1000th post of WBU 2. WBU 3 begins.
Apr 28-May 05: Forum conversion and move to exilian.co.uk
May 09: Triumph system established
Jun 08: First political party, Vive Exilian, founded by DD
Jun 12-25: Election; SOTK returned as Sebastokrator, DD and Nightangel as Spatharioi, Debux and Goldy as Tribounoi
Jul 30: Total War - Orcs and Humans released
Aug 20: Histories Begun
Dec 5: Malware attack begins; issue publicly announced.
Dec 8: Third Amendment passed, creating Basileus position
Dec 10: Forums for Internet Freedoms party (FIF) formed
Dec 15: Exilian Control and Heuristic Operations party (ECHO) formed.
Dec 23: User-end malware problem ends, main site taken down. Forum returns and is upgraded to SMF 2.0.
Dec 28: Elections belatedly begin
2012
Jan 5: Election results released. Jubal wins newly formed Basileus post for FIF, DD and NA are moderators (FIF and Independent respectively), SOTK wins a second term as Sebastokrator for FIF, and Ladyhawk and Death Nade become Tribunes (both as ECHO representatives).
Jan 14: Andalus given first official Exilian triumph, mostly for services to the poetry section.
Jan 16: Jubal gets 1000th post of WBUIII, WBU IV started.
Feb 27: Exilian website returns
Mar 02: Persian Invasion complete edition released
Mar 23: Marcus retires as site owner and Technikos
Mar 27: Adventures of Soros release
Apr 02: Narnia Total War release
Apr 06: Warhammer Total War release
Apr 12: Son of the King ratified as new Technikos
May 14: The Khan becomes new Sebastokrator in an uncontested by-election
Jun 02: Jubal and Comrade_General given triumphs
Jun 22: Election results: Comrade_General becomes Basileus (ECHO), Dripping D becomes Sebastokrator (FIF), Nightangel and Othko97 are Spatharioi and Death Nade and Ladyhawk are Tribounoi. Jubal is elected as Chartophylax of the new academy project. Independents win the election overall with 34% of the vote, FIF just behind on 33% and ECHO on 26%. Turnout was 14/15 citizens.
Aug 12: Admin reorganisation. M&B position changed to Community & Clerisy, RTW changed to Modding & Gaming
Aug 17: Academy officially opens, Son Of The King given triumph
Aug 27: Exilian Atheniad announced
Sep 10: Atheniad begins
Sep 24: By-election as Death Nade fails a vote of no confidence as Tribounos as a result of inactivity. The Khan becomes Tribounos.
Oct 11: comrade_general gets last post of WBU IV, WBU V started
Nov 11: Atheniad final results, narrow win for Exilian over TWC though most contested events between the two go to TWC.
Dec 26: Election results: Dimos (Independent) becomes new Basileus, Dripping D returned as Sebastokrator, Othko97 and Hobbit of Exilian are Spatharioi, the Tribounos election is to be re-run. FIF increase vote share to 45% with a much higher abstention rate of 26%, with ECHO's vote down to 17% and the independent vote down to just 11%. Turnout 10 citizens.
2013
Jan 02: Exilian Democratic Union (EDU) founded by Dimos
Mar 02: WHTW A Call To Arms version announced
Mar 18: Exilian's fifth birthday
Mar 31: Breaking of Patronage bill passed, allows citizens to leave families
Apr 05: Citizen Admission and Patronage Reform bill passed, allows members to apply for citizenship with or without a patron and with or without being apporached first.
Apr 08: Exilian gains public Facebook page
May 03: A Game of Colleges mod released
May 28: Formal resignation of Phoenixguard as Heteriarch
Jun 15: Election results: Jubal returns as Basileus, DD as Sebastokrator, Rob and Othko97 as Spatharioi and Scarlet and Pentagathus as Tribounoi. First return to staff of Pentagathus since 2008. FIF soars to over 60% of the vote, with weak performances by the newly founded EDU and ECHO. ECHO effectively disbands.
Jul 01: Domain name crisis, Exilian's domain name is not renewed as it is tied to an account owned by Marcus. Site only accessible via backup domain name.
Jul 03: Board reorganisation bill passed.
Jul 05: Fifth Amendment to the constitution passed.
Jul 06: Marcus renews domain name, site returns.
Aug 10: Mother of Dragons becomes new Heteriarch.
Sep 15: Return of Atlantis released
Sep 23: New roles for junior staff announced
Sep 28: Warhammer TW - A Call To Arms released
Sep 30: Exilian Twitter started
Nov 16: Rome Total Realism joins Exilian (for about 6 months)
Dec 10: Non-binary gender option added to profile fields
2014
Jan 12: Election results. CG (independent) Basileus, DD (FIF) Sebastokrator, The Khan (Ind) & Othko97 (FIF) Spatharioi, Scarlet (FIF) & Pentagathus (Ind) Tribounoi
Jan 31: WBU V ends, WBU VI begins
Mar 18: Battle for Antares IV mod released
Apr 09: New Adventures of Soros beta
May 25: Delta Games becomes first commercial affiliate of Exilian
Jun 30: IDE party founded
Jul 01: Exilian Choose Your Own Adventure project begins
Jul 09: Election results. The Khan (IDE) Basileus, DD (FIF) Sebastokrator, Pentagathus (Ind) & Othko97 (FIF) Spatharioi, Tom (IDE) & Armadillo (Ind) Tribounoi
Jul 13: No1 Croat Fan wins football World Cup sweepstake
Jul 17: Hetairos rules released
Jul 19: Pentagathus Party founded
Jul 26: First Exilian Convention in Cambridge, UK
Sep 01: Senet House & Secret Garden Fora open
Oct 13: Sixth Amendment to the constitution passed
Oct 16: Guns, Swords, and Steam sub-site opens, ForgeFyre ch. 1 starts.
Nov 07: Glaurung announced as Sakellarios
2015
Jan 06: Lizard succeeds Jubal as Chartophylax
Jan 12: Election results. Solid overall win for FIF with over half the vote (53%). SOTK (FIF) is Basileus, The Khan (IDE) Sebastokrator, Armadillo (FIF) and Dripping D (FIF) Spatharioi, Pentagathus (PP) and Tom (IDE) Tribounoi.
Jan 22: Word Association hits 10,000 words: word 10k is Jubal with "Treehouses"
Jan 26: Artisans' Gallery (Craft forum) opens
Feb 07: Sam Gamgee wins site contest for favourite Tolkien character
Apr 29: Exilian picks up several successes in TWC 2013 modding awards
Jun 17: Large changes to forum index, shortening and simplifying it, take effect.
Jul 05: Election results. Narrow overall win for FIF, on 38% with high abstention rate. Comrade_General (FIF) is Basileus, Othko97 (FIF) is Sebastokrator, Colossus (Independent) is Spatharios, Pentagathus (PP) and no1 croat fan (Independent) are Tribounoi. One Spatharios post remains unfilled.
Jul 11: ExiliCon 2015 takes place, far larger than the 2014 con with a full day of talks and numerous traders, gaming tables, etc.
Jul 22: Utherwald Press becomes second Exilian affiliate
Aug 10: Ars Tali joins Exilian as affiliate
Aug 15: ForgeFyre Chap. 2 starts being released.
Aug 25: Creative Hub opens
Sep 23: WHTW patch release
Nov 20: Exilian moves to WYSIWYG as standard post editor/writer
Nov 30: LIFE Demo release
2016
Jan 03: Middle-Earth General Election megagame finishes, results announced
Jan 17: Election results. FIF clear winners on 43%, IDE, PP, and Ind on 13% each. SaidaiSloth (FIF) is Basileus, Othko97 (FIF) still Sebastokrator, Gmd (IDE) is Spatharios, Pentagathus (PP) and no1 croat fan (Independent) are re-elected as Tribounoi. One Spath position vacant.
Jan 21: Caucasian Prosopography Project Alpha Release
Feb 07: Exilian hits 100,000 posts according to site post counter
Feb 14: First Cyril & Methodius day charity campaign raises £85 for Room to Read
Feb 18: Fox Box officially becomes affiliate
Apr 09: Valar Morghulis TW released
May 10: First "Updates from the Forge" released
Jul 03: RTR 8 team return to new hosted forum section
Jul 05: Election results. FIF narrowly win with 38% to 33% for Independents & 29 for IDE. Glaurung (IND) is Basileus, Othko97 (FIF) is Sebastokrator, GMD (IDE) is Spatharios, and The Khan (IDE) is Tribounos.
Jul 20: RTR 8 Beta II Released
Aug 13: Atheniad 2016 opens
Aug 21: Exilian Twitch channel opens
Sep 04: Atheniad 2016 ends. All medals (4 gold 4 silver) to Exilian, mainly due to lack of other teams.
Oct 22: ExiliCon 2016 in Cambridge, UK - similar size & venue to 2015 with a range of talks & traders
Dec 06: RTR 8 Beta III released
Dec 13: Phoenixguard becomes Megas Domestikos
Dec 23: Bigosaur subforum opens
2017
Jan 30: Valar Morghulis Ice and Fire edition released.
Jan 31: Glaurung & GMD remain as Basileus & Spatharios, both other elected posts vacant. Comrade_General given "permanent despot" title & steps off admin team.
Feb 05: Forum streamlining & condensing: Ambassadors' Residences close, Indie Alley formed of Indie Labs & Tinkers' Alley forums
May 24: Koobazaur's board closure reforms: further major "crunching" of top-level boards to decrease clutter
June 02: Exilian has a stand at UK Games Expo, Birmingham, UK
Jul 16: Election results: staff team unchanged, prior vacancies remain open. Jubal & Glaurung have voluntary ratification votes and both pass.
Jul 24: Exilian moves to new server with VidaHost, away from previous hosts GoDaddy
Sep 06: First Exilian Article published
Oct 03: Armadillo hacking attacks
Oct 04: Headliner release announcement
Oct 14: Frozen Skies kickstarter
Oct 18: Narnia Total War released
Nov 09: Exilian joins Mastodon
Nov 16: Lady Grey and Son of the King retire from staff
Dec 03: Empires of the Undergrowth release + Competition
2018
Jan 08: Ninth amendment passed, ToS changes implemented
Jan 27: Election results announced. Jubal is Basileus, Clockwork is Tribounos. GMD retires as Spath.
Mar 18: Exilian turns ten years old!
Apr 29: Anniversary creative competition results, won by Phoenixguard09
May 02: Word Association hits 20,000 words: word 20k is Jubal with "Beetle"
May 24: New post-GDPR privacy policy released
Jun 20: Frozen Skies released
Jul 05: Election results. Jubal & Tusky re-elected, no other candidates.
Aug 30: La Ciguapa steps down as Heteriarches Prokeruxis
Oct 13: First Exilian chain writing project complete & published
Dec 01: Major repeal of bills by the Plaza. Repeals the staff support & scrutiny bill, staff mandates bill, heraldry bill, and academy bill.
Dec 20: Tales from Windy Meadow released
2019
Jan 04: New Year Updates from the Forge (Issue 32) sees the newsletter shift to quarterly issues.
Jan 13: Creative Competition "Candle" results, won by Comrade_General with a candle painting.
Jan 17: Election results. All 3 permanent staff (Jubal, Glaurung, Lizard) ratified, Jubal & Tusky re-elected, no other candidates.
Jul 03: Election results. Jubal & Tusky re-elected, no other candidates.
Nov 01: RTW - Vanilla Extended released
2020
Jan 23: Election results. All 3 permanent staff (Jubal, Glaurung, Lizard) ratified, Jubal & Tusky re-elected, GMD becomes Spatharios again.
Jan 26: Exilian moves Mastodon account to mastodon.social
Mar 24: Comrade_General leaves Exilian, removes account permanently
Apr 04: Terms of Service change clarifies Exilian licensing & obligations regarding post deletion
Apr 28: External Staff Advertisements act passed, allows for easier external advertising of volunteer posts.
Apr 29: Leafly ratified by citizens and joins staff as Despotes Syntactes (Content Editor).
Jun 15: M&B 2: Bannerlord sections opened
Jul 03: Election results. Jubal, Tusky and GMD re-elected as Basileus, Sebastokrator & Spatharios respectively. Last mid-year election before the passage of the Tenth Amendment.
Aug 07: Exilian Chain-Writing Project released
Aug 19: First Exilian virtual pub - a monthly feature of the community thereafter
Oct 19: Epicinium released
Nov 07: Exilian Discord server opens
Nov 27: Coding Medieval Worlds workshop collaboration with University of Vienna announced
2021
Jan 26: Word Association hits 30,000 words: word 30k is Jubal with "Flying"
Jan 30: Election results. All 4 permanent staff (Jubal, Glaurung, Lizard, Leafly) ratified, Jubal, Tusky, GMD re-elected.
Mar 02: Creative Competition "Aurora" results released: Phoenixguard09 wins with his written piece 'Our Light'.
Feb 6-7: Coding Medieval Worlds workshop 1 takes place
May 30: Tenth Amendment passed, abolishing mid-year elections.
Nov 05: Tourney released by Tusky Games
Nov 17: Exilian policy against supporting NFT projects passed by citizens & published
Nov 23: Coding Medieval Worlds 2 announced
2022
Jan 09: Fenlander, Jubal's text-parser RPG in the medieval fens, released
Feb 05: Leafly resigns as Despotes Syntactes (Content Editor).
Feb 17: Election results. All 3 permanent staff (Jubal, Glaurung, Lizard) ratified, Jubal, Tusky, GMD re-elected. Spritelady becomes Tribounos.
Feb 19-20: Coding Medieval Worlds 2: Networks and Connections workshop takes place
Feb 27: Creative Competition 'Winter Sunset' Results. Won jointly by Medievalfantasyqueen with her piece 'Every Winter's Tale Needs Its Teller', and Spritelady with her piece 'The Khionaskadi'.
Sep 23: Roadwarden released by Aure
Sep 27: Rockpool, Jubal's rockpool creature TTRPG, released
Nov 13: Exilian moves mastodon account to indiepocalypse.social
Nov 12: Forum shoutbox removed.
Nov 19: Coding Medieval Worlds 3 announced
2023
Jan 28: Election results. Jubal and Glaurung ratified, Lizard not ratified as Technikos & steps down. GMD does not run for re-election: Jubal, Tusky and Spritelady re-elected unopposed as Basileus, Sebastokrator and Tribounos respectively.
REFERENCE SECTION/ SPECIFIC INFORMATION
THE HISTORY ACCORDING TO MARCUS
GESTA EXILIANORON (TIMELINE/ANNALS)
2008
Mar 18: Exilian Founded. Pentagathus is M&B Admin, Jubal Head Admin, Marcus Tech Admin. First WBU begins.
Mar 30: Citizenship Established
Apr 07: Southern Realms mini-beta released
May 24: Private Clark ratified as Global Moderator
Jun 03: SOTK becomes first elected admin
Jul 19: Dripping D becomes a global moderator.
Aug 31: First Exilian Games begin with TWC, Exilian, and TW Heaven teams. Word Association thread also begins: Stormcloud with "Flying" is first post.
Sep 27: Private Clark becomes M&B admin. Pentagathus retains admin powers.
Oct 4: First draft of constitution created
Oct 11: Stormcloud beats CN2 7-3 to become a Magister Militae (Global Mod)
Oct 13: Pentagathus abuses his power to turn Exilian into Wibulnubniblia, banning Marcus temporarily and adding pornographic links to the site, and is removed, given the position of King of the Wibulnibs for posterity instead.
Oct 17: First Exilian Games ends with Exilian coming joint second (with TW Heaven) and TWC first.
Oct 27: Constitution ratified
Nov 15: Another abuse of remaining powers by Pentagathus. Powers removed again. Andalus beats DD 6-5 to take moderator post.
Dec 2: exilian.100mb.com site launched
Dec 20: Stormcloud becomes elected admin, beating Dripping D 6-4
2009
Jan 12: Dripping D returns to a moderator post, beating SOTK in the by-election 6-3
Jan 18: Warhammer TW Beta release
Jan 20: First WBU Ends, Jubal with 1000th post. WBU 2 starts.
Mar 30: Andalus re-elected as moderator with 7 votes, CN2 and Goldyrulz gain 2 apiece
Apr 18: Private Clark falls to a Vote of No Confidence
Apr 30: Darkstar becomes M&B Admin, Persian Invasion beta release
Jun 21: First full election season begins.
Jul 6: Election ends. DD & BoyNinja are moderators, Stormcloud is re-elected as admin
Sept 6: Europe 1080 released
Sep 11: Comrade_General becomes RTW admin
Oct 15: BoyNinja becomes M&B admin
Dec 28: First Amendment to the constitution is ratified.
2010
Jan 24: Unchallenged election: Dimos is admin, Silver Wolf and DD are moderators
Feb 12: Final Southern Realms release
Jun 28 - July 4: Election, Dimos is unseated as admin by Silver Wolf, DD and LordRyan are moderators
Jul 6: "New Deal" passed allowing subforums and additions to the site as requested by members
Oct 31: Persian Invasion patch released
Nov 8: BoyNinja resigns as M&B admin
Dec 2: Warhammer TW campaign release
2011
Jan 15: Narnia TW mini-beta release
Jan 22: Phoenixguard ratified replacing BoyNinja as M&B admin. Discussion Collonade created
Jan 25: Election: Silver Wolf is re-elected as admin, Dripping D and IFMN are moderators
Feb 1: Second Amendment ratified, tribunes created
Feb 16: Silver Wolf resigns as admin
Feb 19: Debux and Calisthenis elected as first tribunes
Mar 13: By-Election, Son of the King returns to adminhood
Mar 20: JuBot released for the first time
Apr 15: Debux gets 1000th post of WBU 2. WBU 3 begins.
Apr 28-May 05: Forum conversion and move to exilian.co.uk
May 09: Triumph system established
Jun 08: First political party, Vive Exilian, founded by DD
Jun 12-25: Election; SOTK returned as Sebastokrator, DD and Nightangel as Spatharioi, Debux and Goldy as Tribounoi
Jul 30: Total War - Orcs and Humans released
Aug 20: Histories Begun
Dec 5: Malware attack begins; issue publicly announced.
Dec 8: Third Amendment passed, creating Basileus position
Dec 10: Forums for Internet Freedoms party (FIF) formed
Dec 15: Exilian Control and Heuristic Operations party (ECHO) formed.
Dec 23: User-end malware problem ends, main site taken down. Forum returns and is upgraded to SMF 2.0.
Dec 28: Elections belatedly begin
2012
Jan 5: Election results released. Jubal wins newly formed Basileus post for FIF, DD and NA are moderators (FIF and Independent respectively), SOTK wins a second term as Sebastokrator for FIF, and Ladyhawk and Death Nade become Tribunes (both as ECHO representatives).
Jan 14: Andalus given first official Exilian triumph, mostly for services to the poetry section.
Jan 16: Jubal gets 1000th post of WBUIII, WBU IV started.
Feb 27: Exilian website returns
Mar 02: Persian Invasion complete edition released
Mar 23: Marcus retires as site owner and Technikos
Mar 27: Adventures of Soros release
Apr 02: Narnia Total War release
Apr 06: Warhammer Total War release
Apr 12: Son of the King ratified as new Technikos
May 14: The Khan becomes new Sebastokrator in an uncontested by-election
Jun 02: Jubal and Comrade_General given triumphs
Jun 22: Election results: Comrade_General becomes Basileus (ECHO), Dripping D becomes Sebastokrator (FIF), Nightangel and Othko97 are Spatharioi and Death Nade and Ladyhawk are Tribounoi. Jubal is elected as Chartophylax of the new academy project. Independents win the election overall with 34% of the vote, FIF just behind on 33% and ECHO on 26%. Turnout was 14/15 citizens.
Aug 12: Admin reorganisation. M&B position changed to Community & Clerisy, RTW changed to Modding & Gaming
Aug 17: Academy officially opens, Son Of The King given triumph
Aug 27: Exilian Atheniad announced
Sep 10: Atheniad begins
Sep 24: By-election as Death Nade fails a vote of no confidence as Tribounos as a result of inactivity. The Khan becomes Tribounos.
Oct 11: comrade_general gets last post of WBU IV, WBU V started
Nov 11: Atheniad final results, narrow win for Exilian over TWC though most contested events between the two go to TWC.
Dec 26: Election results: Dimos (Independent) becomes new Basileus, Dripping D returned as Sebastokrator, Othko97 and Hobbit of Exilian are Spatharioi, the Tribounos election is to be re-run. FIF increase vote share to 45% with a much higher abstention rate of 26%, with ECHO's vote down to 17% and the independent vote down to just 11%. Turnout 10 citizens.
2013
Jan 02: Exilian Democratic Union (EDU) founded by Dimos
Mar 02: WHTW A Call To Arms version announced
Mar 18: Exilian's fifth birthday
Mar 31: Breaking of Patronage bill passed, allows citizens to leave families
Apr 05: Citizen Admission and Patronage Reform bill passed, allows members to apply for citizenship with or without a patron and with or without being apporached first.
Apr 08: Exilian gains public Facebook page
May 03: A Game of Colleges mod released
May 28: Formal resignation of Phoenixguard as Heteriarch
Jun 15: Election results: Jubal returns as Basileus, DD as Sebastokrator, Rob and Othko97 as Spatharioi and Scarlet and Pentagathus as Tribounoi. First return to staff of Pentagathus since 2008. FIF soars to over 60% of the vote, with weak performances by the newly founded EDU and ECHO. ECHO effectively disbands.
Jul 01: Domain name crisis, Exilian's domain name is not renewed as it is tied to an account owned by Marcus. Site only accessible via backup domain name.
Jul 03: Board reorganisation bill passed.
Jul 05: Fifth Amendment to the constitution passed.
Jul 06: Marcus renews domain name, site returns.
Aug 10: Mother of Dragons becomes new Heteriarch.
Sep 15: Return of Atlantis released
Sep 23: New roles for junior staff announced
Sep 28: Warhammer TW - A Call To Arms released
Sep 30: Exilian Twitter started
Nov 16: Rome Total Realism joins Exilian (for about 6 months)
Dec 10: Non-binary gender option added to profile fields
2014
Jan 12: Election results. CG (independent) Basileus, DD (FIF) Sebastokrator, The Khan (Ind) & Othko97 (FIF) Spatharioi, Scarlet (FIF) & Pentagathus (Ind) Tribounoi
Jan 31: WBU V ends, WBU VI begins
Mar 18: Battle for Antares IV mod released
Apr 09: New Adventures of Soros beta
May 25: Delta Games becomes first commercial affiliate of Exilian
Jun 30: IDE party founded
Jul 01: Exilian Choose Your Own Adventure project begins
Jul 09: Election results. The Khan (IDE) Basileus, DD (FIF) Sebastokrator, Pentagathus (Ind) & Othko97 (FIF) Spatharioi, Tom (IDE) & Armadillo (Ind) Tribounoi
Jul 13: No1 Croat Fan wins football World Cup sweepstake
Jul 17: Hetairos rules released
Jul 19: Pentagathus Party founded
Jul 26: First Exilian Convention in Cambridge, UK
Sep 01: Senet House & Secret Garden Fora open
Oct 13: Sixth Amendment to the constitution passed
Oct 16: Guns, Swords, and Steam sub-site opens, ForgeFyre ch. 1 starts.
Nov 07: Glaurung announced as Sakellarios
2015
Jan 06: Lizard succeeds Jubal as Chartophylax
Jan 12: Election results. Solid overall win for FIF with over half the vote (53%). SOTK (FIF) is Basileus, The Khan (IDE) Sebastokrator, Armadillo (FIF) and Dripping D (FIF) Spatharioi, Pentagathus (PP) and Tom (IDE) Tribounoi.
Jan 22: Word Association hits 10,000 words: word 10k is Jubal with "Treehouses"
Jan 26: Artisans' Gallery (Craft forum) opens
Feb 07: Sam Gamgee wins site contest for favourite Tolkien character
Apr 29: Exilian picks up several successes in TWC 2013 modding awards
Jun 17: Large changes to forum index, shortening and simplifying it, take effect.
Jul 05: Election results. Narrow overall win for FIF, on 38% with high abstention rate. Comrade_General (FIF) is Basileus, Othko97 (FIF) is Sebastokrator, Colossus (Independent) is Spatharios, Pentagathus (PP) and no1 croat fan (Independent) are Tribounoi. One Spatharios post remains unfilled.
Jul 11: ExiliCon 2015 takes place, far larger than the 2014 con with a full day of talks and numerous traders, gaming tables, etc.
Jul 22: Utherwald Press becomes second Exilian affiliate
Aug 10: Ars Tali joins Exilian as affiliate
Aug 15: ForgeFyre Chap. 2 starts being released.
Aug 25: Creative Hub opens
Sep 23: WHTW patch release
Nov 20: Exilian moves to WYSIWYG as standard post editor/writer
Nov 30: LIFE Demo release
2016
Jan 03: Middle-Earth General Election megagame finishes, results announced
Jan 17: Election results. FIF clear winners on 43%, IDE, PP, and Ind on 13% each. SaidaiSloth (FIF) is Basileus, Othko97 (FIF) still Sebastokrator, Gmd (IDE) is Spatharios, Pentagathus (PP) and no1 croat fan (Independent) are re-elected as Tribounoi. One Spath position vacant.
Jan 21: Caucasian Prosopography Project Alpha Release
Feb 07: Exilian hits 100,000 posts according to site post counter
Feb 14: First Cyril & Methodius day charity campaign raises £85 for Room to Read
Feb 18: Fox Box officially becomes affiliate
Apr 09: Valar Morghulis TW released
May 10: First "Updates from the Forge" released
Jul 03: RTR 8 team return to new hosted forum section
Jul 05: Election results. FIF narrowly win with 38% to 33% for Independents & 29 for IDE. Glaurung (IND) is Basileus, Othko97 (FIF) is Sebastokrator, GMD (IDE) is Spatharios, and The Khan (IDE) is Tribounos.
Jul 20: RTR 8 Beta II Released
Aug 13: Atheniad 2016 opens
Aug 21: Exilian Twitch channel opens
Sep 04: Atheniad 2016 ends. All medals (4 gold 4 silver) to Exilian, mainly due to lack of other teams.
Oct 22: ExiliCon 2016 in Cambridge, UK - similar size & venue to 2015 with a range of talks & traders
Dec 06: RTR 8 Beta III released
Dec 13: Phoenixguard becomes Megas Domestikos
Dec 23: Bigosaur subforum opens
2017
Jan 30: Valar Morghulis Ice and Fire edition released.
Jan 31: Glaurung & GMD remain as Basileus & Spatharios, both other elected posts vacant. Comrade_General given "permanent despot" title & steps off admin team.
Feb 05: Forum streamlining & condensing: Ambassadors' Residences close, Indie Alley formed of Indie Labs & Tinkers' Alley forums
May 24: Koobazaur's board closure reforms: further major "crunching" of top-level boards to decrease clutter
June 02: Exilian has a stand at UK Games Expo, Birmingham, UK
Jul 16: Election results: staff team unchanged, prior vacancies remain open. Jubal & Glaurung have voluntary ratification votes and both pass.
Jul 24: Exilian moves to new server with VidaHost, away from previous hosts GoDaddy
Sep 06: First Exilian Article published
Oct 03: Armadillo hacking attacks
Oct 04: Headliner release announcement
Oct 14: Frozen Skies kickstarter
Oct 18: Narnia Total War released
Nov 09: Exilian joins Mastodon
Nov 16: Lady Grey and Son of the King retire from staff
Dec 03: Empires of the Undergrowth release + Competition
2018
Jan 08: Ninth amendment passed, ToS changes implemented
Jan 27: Election results announced. Jubal is Basileus, Clockwork is Tribounos. GMD retires as Spath.
Mar 18: Exilian turns ten years old!
Apr 29: Anniversary creative competition results, won by Phoenixguard09
May 02: Word Association hits 20,000 words: word 20k is Jubal with "Beetle"
May 24: New post-GDPR privacy policy released
Jun 20: Frozen Skies released
Jul 05: Election results. Jubal & Tusky re-elected, no other candidates.
Aug 30: La Ciguapa steps down as Heteriarches Prokeruxis
Oct 13: First Exilian chain writing project complete & published
Dec 01: Major repeal of bills by the Plaza. Repeals the staff support & scrutiny bill, staff mandates bill, heraldry bill, and academy bill.
Dec 20: Tales from Windy Meadow released
2019
Jan 04: New Year Updates from the Forge (Issue 32) sees the newsletter shift to quarterly issues.
Jan 13: Creative Competition "Candle" results, won by Comrade_General with a candle painting.
Jan 17: Election results. All 3 permanent staff (Jubal, Glaurung, Lizard) ratified, Jubal & Tusky re-elected, no other candidates.
Jul 03: Election results. Jubal & Tusky re-elected, no other candidates.
Nov 01: RTW - Vanilla Extended released
2020
Jan 23: Election results. All 3 permanent staff (Jubal, Glaurung, Lizard) ratified, Jubal & Tusky re-elected, GMD becomes Spatharios again.
Jan 26: Exilian moves Mastodon account to mastodon.social
Mar 24: Comrade_General leaves Exilian, removes account permanently
Apr 04: Terms of Service change clarifies Exilian licensing & obligations regarding post deletion
Apr 28: External Staff Advertisements act passed, allows for easier external advertising of volunteer posts.
Apr 29: Leafly ratified by citizens and joins staff as Despotes Syntactes (Content Editor).
Jun 15: M&B 2: Bannerlord sections opened
Jul 03: Election results. Jubal, Tusky and GMD re-elected as Basileus, Sebastokrator & Spatharios respectively. Last mid-year election before the passage of the Tenth Amendment.
Aug 07: Exilian Chain-Writing Project released
Aug 19: First Exilian virtual pub - a monthly feature of the community thereafter
Oct 19: Epicinium released
Nov 07: Exilian Discord server opens
Nov 27: Coding Medieval Worlds workshop collaboration with University of Vienna announced
2021
Jan 26: Word Association hits 30,000 words: word 30k is Jubal with "Flying"
Jan 30: Election results. All 4 permanent staff (Jubal, Glaurung, Lizard, Leafly) ratified, Jubal, Tusky, GMD re-elected.
Mar 02: Creative Competition "Aurora" results released: Phoenixguard09 wins with his written piece 'Our Light'.
Feb 6-7: Coding Medieval Worlds workshop 1 takes place
May 30: Tenth Amendment passed, abolishing mid-year elections.
Nov 05: Tourney released by Tusky Games
Nov 17: Exilian policy against supporting NFT projects passed by citizens & published
Nov 23: Coding Medieval Worlds 2 announced
2022
Jan 09: Fenlander, Jubal's text-parser RPG in the medieval fens, released
Feb 05: Leafly resigns as Despotes Syntactes (Content Editor).
Feb 17: Election results. All 3 permanent staff (Jubal, Glaurung, Lizard) ratified, Jubal, Tusky, GMD re-elected. Spritelady becomes Tribounos.
Feb 19-20: Coding Medieval Worlds 2: Networks and Connections workshop takes place
Feb 27: Creative Competition 'Winter Sunset' Results. Won jointly by Medievalfantasyqueen with her piece 'Every Winter's Tale Needs Its Teller', and Spritelady with her piece 'The Khionaskadi'.
Sep 23: Roadwarden released by Aure
Sep 27: Rockpool, Jubal's rockpool creature TTRPG, released
Nov 13: Exilian moves mastodon account to indiepocalypse.social
Nov 12: Forum shoutbox removed.
Nov 19: Coding Medieval Worlds 3 announced
2023
Jan 28: Election results. Jubal and Glaurung ratified, Lizard not ratified as Technikos & steps down. GMD does not run for re-election: Jubal, Tusky and Spritelady re-elected unopposed as Basileus, Sebastokrator and Tribounos respectively.
REFERENCE SECTION/ SPECIFIC INFORMATION
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
THE HISTORY ACCORDING TO MARCUS
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1626
General Chatter - The Boozer / The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« on: August 20, 2011, 11:17:41 AM »
Herein shall be a guide to important phrases, memes, and ideas you shall encounter on this site. Preferably as quirky as possible. Contributions gratefully accepted!
A
Andalus
Exilian's once-resident poet and philosopher, master of wordsmithing. And penguins.
Adventures of Soros
A game in which Thou Gaineth An ADVENTURE!
Armadillo
B
BagaturKhan
The person to go to if you need to ask "what if Russian novels had more sexy futuristic elves, space bears, and magic sci-fi teapots in them?"
Beer Run
When someone goes into the Beer Cellar and adds a reply to all, or almost all, the forum games on the page.
Beesnot Lumpwagon
A character of ill defined shape, existence, gender, diet, et cetera. Thoroughly unclear why they merit an entry.
Bigosaur
A dinosaur who may or may not be the offspring of a witch.
Bunneh
Exilian's home-grown religious movement, based around an ASCII art Bunneh. Bunneh is all-powerful, and demands carrots.
Burn In Muffin Hell
The greatest insult. Muffin hell may or may not technically be an oven.
C
Caradìlis
Exilian's resident witch and herbalist. Good for consultation if you have a cold, sleeping problems, or enemies who need quietly disposing of.
Citizens
The noble and loyal members of the polis exilianis, who together have True Power(tm).
Clockwork
He runs like clockwork. At least he runs like clockwork would if you oiled clockwork with beer. Provider of Exilian's fashion and music sense.
CN2
Exilian's resident candle, which burnez mightily.
CN3
CN2's hyper-powered alter ego, about which little is known.
Communipedia
The Free Socialist-Marxist Encylopedia. Disappeared along with Mixed Mods, in a sudden but spectacular Bourgeois victory.
Comrade_General
Leader of Exilian's highly secretive armed forces, codename "Cowman". Owns more guns than some countries have in their entire armed forces.
Cyril and Methodius
Patron saints of Exilian, their day is February 14. Because that's all that happens on February 14, as everybody knows.
D
Dammit! DD?
A common exclamation in certain parts of Exilian. It never is DD, no matter how many times this question is asked.
Debux
He has a faise. U lieks his faise? May own the Guancananalamama.
Deepcomet
Once a boy and a ninja, now a man and an astronomical phenomenon. It seemed a good idea at the time.
Dimos
Defender of freedom, Exilian's resident radical philosopher, EDU leader, and permanent rejector of skype invitations.
Dripping D
More electorally successful than Franklin Delano Roosevelt, younger than JFK, and with almost as many achievements in office as William Henry Harrison. The People's Choice (TM).
Dubsartur
Font of historical knowledge. May have once confused an AI into thinking that Exilian was a historical re-enactment website.
E
ECHO
Exilian Control and Heuristic Operations. Political party of tough uncompromising staff dedicated to rooting out all threats to Exilian, however nonexistent they may be. Now defunct as proved too compromising.
EDU
Exilian Democratic Union. For! Democracy! Against! Slavery! The True Opposition To Evil Parties (tm). Now defunct as they opposed themselves too effectively.
E-Team
"In 2008, a crack forum unit was suddenly deactivated and lost forever. These members briefly scattered across the inter-webs looking for purpose. Today, still psychotic and weird, they survive as soldiers of fortune at their new home known only as Exilian. If you have a problem...if no one else can help...and if you can find them...maybe you can hire...The E-Team."
The E-Team is Exilian's official armed forces, as led by Comrade_General. They are so secretive they forget they exist sometimes.
Eric Matyas
The music master, he who brings sound into soundless places.
Exilian
I. This site.
II. The community based around this site.
III. Any user of this site or member of the community, also referred to as "Exilianites", "Exiliphiles", "Exilianers", "Nerds", "Those really weird looking jerks", and "The Greco-Roman Llama Death Patrol". Okay, maybe the last one didn't happen. Except that it has now, and proves itself right by EXISTING.
Exilian Articles
Exilian's repository of all the wisdom and knowledge the rest of humanity didn't really want. Contains a lot of obscure animals, several fantastical worlds, and an undefined number of cows.
Exilian Day
March 18, the day of the site's founding in 2008. Generally celebrated like a mix of Saturnalia, a really awesome birthday party and an international scrabble championship rolled into one.
Exilian Pub
The regular gathering of Exilian folk where they reveal their hidden faces, their frustrations with the universe, and their opinions on everything from wrestling to classical music.
ExiliCon
Like Exilian but in real life. Notable for having excellent slogans:
F
FIF
Forums for Internet Freedoms. Woolly-eared soppy citizen-loving liberals.
G
Glaurung
The dragon who sits atop Exilian's hoard of wealth. Eats spambots for breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, lunch, etc...
GMD
A collective of seventy-three ducklings in a trench coat.
Goldyrulz
High Prophet of teh Bunneh, he who rulz the church of the floppy-eared one.
Guancananalamama
It's a goddamn llama. Phoenixguard might own it. Or Debux might.
H
Hill, the
It's a hill. Or possibly a disused nuclear bunker. Or a whole kingdom. Or a mound of skulls. Or a mound of cupcakes. Whatever it is, nothing will be spared in the deadly battles for control of it.
I
IDE
The Opposition! They stand for opposition, democracy, et cetera, and (most importantly), et cetera. Now defunct, et cetera.
J
Jack S**t
Perhaps the only person who knows what the point of the internet is. His office is NEVER OPEN.
Jafeth
Also here.
Jubal
Member #1, Megadux, that admin guy. World's most democratic dictator. Possibly a Trireme. See "Trireme". Possibly a Pangolin. See "Pangolin".
K
Khan, The
Master of necropostomancy, last seen riding across the steppes of Asia with a bunch of Tasmangolian web-zombies.
Koobazaur
The Wandering Dev. Hopefully not the secret identity of Mr. Molotov Man. (See "Mr. Molotov Man")
Krishnabot
The Krishnabots are a holy order of wandering spambots. They travel from site to site, preaching their word. It is thought that in abandoned corners of the internet they have converted masses of shoe and kitchen sales bots, who await a sign from Supreme Lord Krishna at which point they will rise up and dedicate the internet to his name. And ban onions and garlic.
L
Ladyhawk
Exilian's avian lady, true servant of the Nords and wielder of scary looking bladed weaponry.
M
Marcus
Owner of teh site, wielder of tech skills beyond mere mortals. He who shall be worshipped.
Meet A Member
Part of the citizens only area. Find out things you never wanted to know! Discover secrets that should have remained hidden! Discuss the merits of competitive jellyfish stuffing! And more!
Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron
Might not be a thing, but might be a mushroom of awe inspiring power. (I hear its spores are insured for ten thousand dollars. And it does car commercials. In Japan.)
Mixed Mods
The precursor to Exilian, which disappeared in mysterious circumstances.
Mother of Dragons
Maternal overlord of dragonkind, particularly if said dragons are of the soup-producing variety. Has mysterious links to the clone army of SOTKs.
Mr. Molotov Man
Does exactly what he says on the tin. Literally the worst superhero.
N
NCIU
Neo-Communist Internet Union. Exilian's party dedicated to overthrowing the bourgeois state and replacing it with EQUALITY and stuff. Defunct as it turns out Exilian didn't have a convenient bourgeois state to overthrow. Weirdly has nothing to do with Communipedia.
Necroposting
Resurrecting long-dead threads by the dark magical arts. Most notably done by The Khan.
Nigel
Nigel is a banker from Nigeria. He beats his butler and kills enemies of the state. With bricks.
Nightangel
The child of Deception and Jack Churchill after a very odd party. The only person who gives dating advice involving claymores. He commonly swears to drunk he's not god.
No Marcuses Allowed
The only law in Wibulnubniblia. See "Wibulnubniblia".
O
Othko97
SOTK Beta. He fell from a high place. See "Son of the King".
P
Pangolin
A small arboreal mammal from Africa with armour plating and the ability to walk up trees on its hind legs. May be Jubal. By extension, may therefore also be a Trireme.
Pentagathus
King of the Wibulnibs and ruler of Wibulnubniblia. Fuzzy forum troll responsible for attempting to put off new members. Arch-nemesis of Marcus.
Pentagathus Party
Exilian is clearly a benevolent dictatorship not a democracy, something nobody wants. Enter the Pentagathus party, that implores you to Vote Pentagathus for Everything in order to restore true old fashioned iron-fisted autocracy. And rum.
Phoenixguard
Slayer of poisonous beasts, possible owner of the Guancananalamama. Literally owns and feeds Satan.
Pinky
An indeterminate internet cryptid. The full scope of what cannot be determined about Pinky is among the things that cannot be determined about Pinky.
Portugal Exploding
It is an important but little known fact that whenever something major happens, Portugal spontaneously explodes. The entire population of Portugal is usually employed in putting Portugal back together with superglue in order for Portugal to be able to explode again the next time. Tthe reason the financial crisis hit them badly was because not enough major events were happening to employ the population full-time, and the Portuguese actually have no skills or resources other than a crapton of glue pots.
Private Clark
Creator of gamingness, and the first of the Megas Domestikoi.
Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse
Trained by the mysterious Professor McBlusterfluff. Is among other things a messenger, comedian, psychoanalyst and explosives expert.
Psyanojim
Surprisingly human given his long history with the arcane arts, ruinous powers, and, worse still, corporations. Thinks swords are silly.
S
Satan
The devil, spawn of all evil incarnate. Lives in Phoenixguard's kitchen.
Scarlet
Most conscientious forumite of all the forumites.
Silver Wolf
A name that stops grown men dead in their tracks. A howling in the night, a quiet word passing round a small town... and the legend of the Wolf spreads a little further.
Son Of The King
The Prince of Tech Wizardry. SOTK Prime, clan alpha; has at least two clones. Aka SOTK, Sawtekh, Saw,etc.
Soup Dragons
The most common species of dragon in Exiliania. And OHMIGOSHHAVEYOUSEENTHEBABYONE *squee*
Spritelady
Probably at least one of a fey creature and a lady at any given time. Despite the name, more commonly found drinking wine than sprite.
Stormcloud
First landlord of the Boozer. Held the highest post-count for A Very Long Time.
T
Teejackbo
SOTK Gamma. See "Son of the King."
THROW THERMAL POD
An important ritual undertaken regularly by certain Exilians. Helps break the ice, either at parties or alternatively when confronting powerful ice-wizards.
Trireme
Possibly Jubal. See "Jubal".
Triumph
A traditional celebration of the special achievements of a citizen, accompanied by cheering, a frontpagepost, and rum (or would be except that the rum, as all denizens of the web know, is gone :/)
Triumph Points
Points mean prizes! See "triumph".
Tusky
Your friendly tusked neighbourhood watchman. Occasionally sneaks vehicle trailers into movie theatres.
V
Vance Miller
The Kitchen Bandit Overlord and a nefarious enemy of the Exilians who once assailed the site with his kitchen spambots. From where they come nobody knows, where they go after we smite them is unclear theologically (See Also: Krishnabot), but what is known is that from a warehouse somewhere in the midlands (nb: midlands of what is unclear), Vance Miller sends his legions forth against the fragile walls of the un-spammed world...
W
Wibulnib
A Wibulnib is one of the mythical foes of Exilian, posters of lewd imagery and other such foul things. Nobody has ever seen a wibulnib, for they are a sneaky and foul breed. They are led by Pentagathus and inhabit Wibulnubniblia.
Wibulnubniblia
The mythical home of the Wibulnibs, the dark side of Exilian. Inhabited by the debatably existent Wibulnibs. Wibulnubniblia is kept safe from the wrath of Marcus only by a large handpainted sign saying "No Marcuses Allowed"; this sign is thought to be the only rule the Wibulnibs abide by. This mysterious realm is ruled by Pentagathus.
A
Andalus
Exilian's once-resident poet and philosopher, master of wordsmithing. And penguins.
Adventures of Soros
A game in which Thou Gaineth An ADVENTURE!
Armadillo
- A particularly vexing hacker who once dumped out the whole forum database.
- A site euphemism for fecal matter.
B
BagaturKhan
The person to go to if you need to ask "what if Russian novels had more sexy futuristic elves, space bears, and magic sci-fi teapots in them?"
Beer Run
When someone goes into the Beer Cellar and adds a reply to all, or almost all, the forum games on the page.
Beesnot Lumpwagon
A character of ill defined shape, existence, gender, diet, et cetera. Thoroughly unclear why they merit an entry.
Bigosaur
A dinosaur who may or may not be the offspring of a witch.
Bunneh
Exilian's home-grown religious movement, based around an ASCII art Bunneh. Bunneh is all-powerful, and demands carrots.
Burn In Muffin Hell
The greatest insult. Muffin hell may or may not technically be an oven.
C
Caradìlis
Exilian's resident witch and herbalist. Good for consultation if you have a cold, sleeping problems, or enemies who need quietly disposing of.
Citizens
The noble and loyal members of the polis exilianis, who together have True Power(tm).
Clockwork
He runs like clockwork. At least he runs like clockwork would if you oiled clockwork with beer. Provider of Exilian's fashion and music sense.
CN2
Exilian's resident candle, which burnez mightily.
CN3
CN2's hyper-powered alter ego, about which little is known.
Communipedia
The Free Socialist-Marxist Encylopedia. Disappeared along with Mixed Mods, in a sudden but spectacular Bourgeois victory.
Comrade_General
Leader of Exilian's highly secretive armed forces, codename "Cowman". Owns more guns than some countries have in their entire armed forces.
Cyril and Methodius
Patron saints of Exilian, their day is February 14. Because that's all that happens on February 14, as everybody knows.
D
Dammit! DD?
A common exclamation in certain parts of Exilian. It never is DD, no matter how many times this question is asked.
Debux
He has a faise. U lieks his faise? May own the Guancananalamama.
Deepcomet
Once a boy and a ninja, now a man and an astronomical phenomenon. It seemed a good idea at the time.
Dimos
Defender of freedom, Exilian's resident radical philosopher, EDU leader, and permanent rejector of skype invitations.
Dripping D
More electorally successful than Franklin Delano Roosevelt, younger than JFK, and with almost as many achievements in office as William Henry Harrison. The People's Choice (TM).
Dubsartur
Font of historical knowledge. May have once confused an AI into thinking that Exilian was a historical re-enactment website.
E
ECHO
Exilian Control and Heuristic Operations. Political party of tough uncompromising staff dedicated to rooting out all threats to Exilian, however nonexistent they may be. Now defunct as proved too compromising.
EDU
Exilian Democratic Union. For! Democracy! Against! Slavery! The True Opposition To Evil Parties (tm). Now defunct as they opposed themselves too effectively.
E-Team
"In 2008, a crack forum unit was suddenly deactivated and lost forever. These members briefly scattered across the inter-webs looking for purpose. Today, still psychotic and weird, they survive as soldiers of fortune at their new home known only as Exilian. If you have a problem...if no one else can help...and if you can find them...maybe you can hire...The E-Team."
The E-Team is Exilian's official armed forces, as led by Comrade_General. They are so secretive they forget they exist sometimes.
Eric Matyas
The music master, he who brings sound into soundless places.
Exilian
I. This site.
II. The community based around this site.
III. Any user of this site or member of the community, also referred to as "Exilianites", "Exiliphiles", "Exilianers", "Nerds", "Those really weird looking jerks", and "The Greco-Roman Llama Death Patrol". Okay, maybe the last one didn't happen. Except that it has now, and proves itself right by EXISTING.
Exilian Articles
Exilian's repository of all the wisdom and knowledge the rest of humanity didn't really want. Contains a lot of obscure animals, several fantastical worlds, and an undefined number of cows.
Exilian Day
March 18, the day of the site's founding in 2008. Generally celebrated like a mix of Saturnalia, a really awesome birthday party and an international scrabble championship rolled into one.
Exilian Pub
The regular gathering of Exilian folk where they reveal their hidden faces, their frustrations with the universe, and their opinions on everything from wrestling to classical music.
ExiliCon
Like Exilian but in real life. Notable for having excellent slogans:
- ExiliCon: because at least we're not DashCon.
- ExiliCon: it'll all be alright on the day.
- ExiliCon: it's what gets you through border security.
- ExiliCon: we don't even own a ball pit.
F
FIF
Forums for Internet Freedoms. Woolly-eared soppy citizen-loving liberals.
G
Glaurung
The dragon who sits atop Exilian's hoard of wealth. Eats spambots for breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, lunch, etc...
GMD
A collective of seventy-three ducklings in a trench coat.
Goldyrulz
High Prophet of teh Bunneh, he who rulz the church of the floppy-eared one.
Guancananalamama
It's a goddamn llama. Phoenixguard might own it. Or Debux might.
H
Hill, the
It's a hill. Or possibly a disused nuclear bunker. Or a whole kingdom. Or a mound of skulls. Or a mound of cupcakes. Whatever it is, nothing will be spared in the deadly battles for control of it.
I
IDE
The Opposition! They stand for opposition, democracy, et cetera, and (most importantly), et cetera. Now defunct, et cetera.
J
Jack S**t
Perhaps the only person who knows what the point of the internet is. His office is NEVER OPEN.
Jafeth
Also here.
Jubal
Member #1, Megadux, that admin guy. World's most democratic dictator. Possibly a Trireme. See "Trireme". Possibly a Pangolin. See "Pangolin".
K
Khan, The
Master of necropostomancy, last seen riding across the steppes of Asia with a bunch of Tasmangolian web-zombies.
Koobazaur
The Wandering Dev. Hopefully not the secret identity of Mr. Molotov Man. (See "Mr. Molotov Man")
Krishnabot
The Krishnabots are a holy order of wandering spambots. They travel from site to site, preaching their word. It is thought that in abandoned corners of the internet they have converted masses of shoe and kitchen sales bots, who await a sign from Supreme Lord Krishna at which point they will rise up and dedicate the internet to his name. And ban onions and garlic.
L
Ladyhawk
Exilian's avian lady, true servant of the Nords and wielder of scary looking bladed weaponry.
M
Marcus
Owner of teh site, wielder of tech skills beyond mere mortals. He who shall be worshipped.
Meet A Member
Part of the citizens only area. Find out things you never wanted to know! Discover secrets that should have remained hidden! Discuss the merits of competitive jellyfish stuffing! And more!
Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron
Might not be a thing, but might be a mushroom of awe inspiring power. (I hear its spores are insured for ten thousand dollars. And it does car commercials. In Japan.)
Mixed Mods
The precursor to Exilian, which disappeared in mysterious circumstances.
Mother of Dragons
Maternal overlord of dragonkind, particularly if said dragons are of the soup-producing variety. Has mysterious links to the clone army of SOTKs.
Mr. Molotov Man
Does exactly what he says on the tin. Literally the worst superhero.
N
NCIU
Neo-Communist Internet Union. Exilian's party dedicated to overthrowing the bourgeois state and replacing it with EQUALITY and stuff. Defunct as it turns out Exilian didn't have a convenient bourgeois state to overthrow. Weirdly has nothing to do with Communipedia.
Necroposting
Resurrecting long-dead threads by the dark magical arts. Most notably done by The Khan.
Nigel
Nigel is a banker from Nigeria. He beats his butler and kills enemies of the state. With bricks.
Nightangel
The child of Deception and Jack Churchill after a very odd party. The only person who gives dating advice involving claymores. He commonly swears to drunk he's not god.
No Marcuses Allowed
The only law in Wibulnubniblia. See "Wibulnubniblia".
O
Othko97
SOTK Beta. He fell from a high place. See "Son of the King".
P
Pangolin
A small arboreal mammal from Africa with armour plating and the ability to walk up trees on its hind legs. May be Jubal. By extension, may therefore also be a Trireme.
Pentagathus
King of the Wibulnibs and ruler of Wibulnubniblia. Fuzzy forum troll responsible for attempting to put off new members. Arch-nemesis of Marcus.
Pentagathus Party
Exilian is clearly a benevolent dictatorship not a democracy, something nobody wants. Enter the Pentagathus party, that implores you to Vote Pentagathus for Everything in order to restore true old fashioned iron-fisted autocracy. And rum.
Phoenixguard
Slayer of poisonous beasts, possible owner of the Guancananalamama. Literally owns and feeds Satan.
Pinky
An indeterminate internet cryptid. The full scope of what cannot be determined about Pinky is among the things that cannot be determined about Pinky.
Portugal Exploding
It is an important but little known fact that whenever something major happens, Portugal spontaneously explodes. The entire population of Portugal is usually employed in putting Portugal back together with superglue in order for Portugal to be able to explode again the next time. Tthe reason the financial crisis hit them badly was because not enough major events were happening to employ the population full-time, and the Portuguese actually have no skills or resources other than a crapton of glue pots.
Private Clark
Creator of gamingness, and the first of the Megas Domestikoi.
Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse
Trained by the mysterious Professor McBlusterfluff. Is among other things a messenger, comedian, psychoanalyst and explosives expert.
Psyanojim
Surprisingly human given his long history with the arcane arts, ruinous powers, and, worse still, corporations. Thinks swords are silly.
S
Satan
The devil, spawn of all evil incarnate. Lives in Phoenixguard's kitchen.
Scarlet
Most conscientious forumite of all the forumites.
Silver Wolf
A name that stops grown men dead in their tracks. A howling in the night, a quiet word passing round a small town... and the legend of the Wolf spreads a little further.
Son Of The King
The Prince of Tech Wizardry. SOTK Prime, clan alpha; has at least two clones. Aka SOTK, Sawtekh, Saw,etc.
Soup Dragons
The most common species of dragon in Exiliania. And OHMIGOSHHAVEYOUSEENTHEBABYONE *squee*
Spritelady
Probably at least one of a fey creature and a lady at any given time. Despite the name, more commonly found drinking wine than sprite.
Stormcloud
First landlord of the Boozer. Held the highest post-count for A Very Long Time.
T
Teejackbo
SOTK Gamma. See "Son of the King."
THROW THERMAL POD
An important ritual undertaken regularly by certain Exilians. Helps break the ice, either at parties or alternatively when confronting powerful ice-wizards.
Trireme
Possibly Jubal. See "Jubal".
Triumph
A traditional celebration of the special achievements of a citizen, accompanied by cheering, a frontpagepost, and rum (or would be except that the rum, as all denizens of the web know, is gone :/)
Triumph Points
Points mean prizes! See "triumph".
Tusky
Your friendly tusked neighbourhood watchman. Occasionally sneaks vehicle trailers into movie theatres.
V
Vance Miller
The Kitchen Bandit Overlord and a nefarious enemy of the Exilians who once assailed the site with his kitchen spambots. From where they come nobody knows, where they go after we smite them is unclear theologically (See Also: Krishnabot), but what is known is that from a warehouse somewhere in the midlands (nb: midlands of what is unclear), Vance Miller sends his legions forth against the fragile walls of the un-spammed world...
W
Wibulnib
A Wibulnib is one of the mythical foes of Exilian, posters of lewd imagery and other such foul things. Nobody has ever seen a wibulnib, for they are a sneaky and foul breed. They are led by Pentagathus and inhabit Wibulnubniblia.
Wibulnubniblia
The mythical home of the Wibulnibs, the dark side of Exilian. Inhabited by the debatably existent Wibulnibs. Wibulnubniblia is kept safe from the wrath of Marcus only by a large handpainted sign saying "No Marcuses Allowed"; this sign is thought to be the only rule the Wibulnibs abide by. This mysterious realm is ruled by Pentagathus.
1627
General Chatter - The Boozer / That Exam Results Thread!
« on: August 17, 2011, 10:52:39 PM »
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Yeah, exam results for the UK are tomorrow and next week for A Level and GCSE respectively. LET US GATHER AND PANIC MIGHTILY!
Yeah, exam results for the UK are tomorrow and next week for A Level and GCSE respectively. LET US GATHER AND PANIC MIGHTILY!
1628
Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! / Would you rather?
« on: August 17, 2011, 10:14:35 PM »
Answer the last one, then ask the next person a "would you rather" question?
To start...
Would you rather have no elbows or no knees?
To start...
Would you rather have no elbows or no knees?
1629
Announcements! The Town Crier! / Exilian YouTube Channel Opens!
« on: August 17, 2011, 07:21:21 PM »
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheExilianChannel
Welcome to the Exilian Channel!
Stay tuned and subscribe for more stuff. There is a further intro on there, but don'llamachitbecauseit'smeandit'shorriblyembarassing.
Welcome to the Exilian Channel!
Stay tuned and subscribe for more stuff. There is a further intro on there, but don'llamachitbecauseit'smeandit'shorriblyembarassing.
1630
Warhammer; Total War / The Most Important Bug
« on: August 15, 2011, 03:16:29 PM »
Okay, I made a mess of something since the last map build, but old enough to be embedded in the last release. I don't know what, and show_err commands don't work on Vista. I therefore REALLY need someone with XP or 2000 or some other saner OS to go to their WHTW folder, data/maps/base, delete map.rwm. Then boot up RTW, try and start a campaign, it will kick you back to the menu. Then exit the program, you should get an error message (as long as you have show_err in your command line. If you don't, you need to add it first). I need to know what the darn message is, if there is one.
This is pretty vital since I can't work on the campaign at all until it's fixed.
Thanks, all!
This is pretty vital since I can't work on the campaign at all until it's fixed.
Thanks, all!
1631
Announcements! The Town Crier! / Exilian Games
« on: August 06, 2011, 01:34:29 PM »
Due to the current lack of interest and staff availability over the summer, the EG will not be taking place as planned. Apologies for any inconvenience.
In other news, I'm consulting on the creation of a YouTube channel, and possibly doing some section re-ordering.
In other news, I'm consulting on the creation of a YouTube channel, and possibly doing some section re-ordering.
1632
Announcements! The Town Crier! / Away for a while
« on: July 30, 2011, 02:44:47 PM »
I'll only be on phone-based Exilian access (aka very tempramental) for the next bit (2 weeks). Have fun while I'm away!
1633
Arts, Crafts, Music & Drama - The Artisans' Guilds / Easy Guitar Tunes to learn
« on: July 28, 2011, 12:51:53 PM »
Okay, the very easiest guitar tunes we can recommend, categorised by music style!
CLASSIC ROCK
Smoke on the Water(intro/main riff is easiest) - Deep Purple
Tab - http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/d/deep_purple/smoke_on_the_water_tab.htm
Video Lesson - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc6QQy17zz
FOLK & Traditional
Navigator
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t3Qe3X-83A -> VIDEO
http://www.azchords.com/p/pogues-tabs-5469/navigator-tabs-155047.html -> CHORDS
Spancil Hill
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2nlQ_mo3Gg -> VIDEO
http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/c/corrs/spancil_hill_crd.htm -> CHORDS
Greensleeves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33Ja6ZcdS8w&feature=related -> VIDEO
http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/m/misc_traditional/greensleeves_crd.htm -> CHORDS
GAME SOUNDTRACK
Halo Theme
Tab - http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/h/halo/halo_theme_tab.htm
Video Lesson - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKzbf2MeokQ
Age Of Empires 2 intro
Tab - http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/m/misc_computer_games/age_of_empires_2_age_of_kings_theme_intro_tab.htm
Couldn't find a video
Please post additions.
CLASSIC ROCK
Smoke on the Water(intro/main riff is easiest) - Deep Purple
Tab - http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/d/deep_purple/smoke_on_the_water_tab.htm
Video Lesson - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc6QQy17zz
FOLK & Traditional
Navigator
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t3Qe3X-83A -> VIDEO
http://www.azchords.com/p/pogues-tabs-5469/navigator-tabs-155047.html -> CHORDS
Spancil Hill
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2nlQ_mo3Gg -> VIDEO
http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/c/corrs/spancil_hill_crd.htm -> CHORDS
Greensleeves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33Ja6ZcdS8w&feature=related -> VIDEO
http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/m/misc_traditional/greensleeves_crd.htm -> CHORDS
GAME SOUNDTRACK
Halo Theme
Tab - http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/h/halo/halo_theme_tab.htm
Video Lesson - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKzbf2MeokQ
Age Of Empires 2 intro
Tab - http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/m/misc_computer_games/age_of_empires_2_age_of_kings_theme_intro_tab.htm
Couldn't find a video
Please post additions.
1634
Stories and AARs / The Tears of the Raindrop
« on: July 28, 2011, 12:10:52 PM »
Note; The following account contains one of the few first-hand descriptions the present chronicler has been able to discover of the 2019 English election where the last moderate government was resoundingly defeated, setting the scene for the next fifty years of violence and intimidation. It was transcribed from a vocal recording of a dying leader of the opposing Democratic faction at his death in 2070 after a governmental force destroyed, although with crippling losses, the main remaining Anglesey rebel stronghold, just four months before liberation by the Canadian army. This is the only record surviving the ensuing destruction. No record has been discovered of the speaker’s name.
THE TEARS OF THE RAINDROP
Can you see the marks? Will it be fast? Here in the mud. Lying in the mud. Dying in the mud.
I think I can see the splash of a raindrop through my misted eyes. It’s odd what eyes see in life… But I’ll be beyond it soon. Away. Dead. Gone.
I have tried to be brave, for surely those are the bravest men who know their fight is hopeless, and can see their defeat, and walk with head held high to meet it? Have I done right? Remember me, friends. Remember my story, and walk with your heads held high, and not your hands.
My body shall lie in this room as testament to the evils of men. What has been done cannot be undone; I will never see the light of day again, and nor shall those who I fought for. It would have been easy, I often think to die for the millions – the outcasts, the forgotten ones, all those condemned that day. I didn’t. I struggled. I kicked. I shouted.
And until today, I have lived…
The splash of a raindrop on the windowsill. A pair of trainers lazily lying on a seat. Light shoes, not tough, not walking shoes. A magazine (Was it news? Science? My memory is fading with my eyes). Yes – there was a magazine on the table – just next to the TV. December 8, 2019. A date I’ve remembered for fifty-one years and but for this record, will go with me to my grave. I’ve walked a long road since then. I’ve needed tougher shoes.
The flat wasn’t big, and it seemed all the smaller since the three (was it only ever three?) yes, just the three of us lived there. I owned the flat: Chris worked in a shop below, and Jess had an office down the road. Three of us. Chris’s grandparents had been Iranian (that was before New Persia was formed), and he was a joker, a lanky, capering clown of a man who was almost unsettlingly humorous, and since we had met, one day on a train station waiting to go to Cambridge, he had been my friend. Jessica was quiet, and pale, and clever and almost unthinkingly kind and she walked with a dance-step, and played an old violin when she felt sad.
I don’t remember what was for supper that night, or even whether or not we ate anything; I was just fixated on the TV.
Chris walked in late after work, drawn and wan, his sallow face pale and peaky. Perhaps he knew already. His eyes, dark and shadowy, anxious eyes, they said so.
We sat down and watched the TV. I am an Atheist, and as I saw the flickering pixels, drilling holes into my eyes, I knew I was right. How could this have happened? The flickering pixels danced like delighted devils, hammering the iron nails of hatred again and again, the bolts ever riveting my disbelieving eyes harder and closer and tighter to the screen.
Cheering crowds. I think that was what hit me the hardest. Cheering for death. Cheering for hatred. When I was younger, I thought I knew what people were like. I had been wrong, and this – this was wrong, wrong, wrong… (For what had the people condemned at the ballot box done wrong? They had committed no crime, angered nobody, attacked nobody – but they were not the same, not quite the same. It was not even that they were foreign – maybe ten generations ago an ancestor or two had been – and after December 3, 2019, they were the lost and cursed and damned.)
I looked at Chris. His eyes were wide, and not with academic interest or casual surprise. Not with anxiety, not even with fear. This was deeper, this was more violent, an emotion suppressed in man’s past that had come back in all its fully frightening glory. This was terror. Primal, gut-ripping, petrifying, fight or flight, rat-eat-rat terror. His fingernails gouged into the ageing plastic of the chair, and his shoes flicked jerkily back and forth, back and forth, back and forth... Man is an animal after all; and Chris had found that he still had his predators.
The door creaked gently open, and a light, nervous step was gingerly taken into the room. Chris leapt up, eyes like a slavering wild horse; the slow, teetering splash of his coffee on the floor went almost unnoticed. The slender black shoe was followed, though, by Jess. Looking fatigued and pained, she had rims of crumpled red silk around her tired eyes.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget anything about Jessica’s eyes: they could pierce and penetrate, extracting everything she wanted from you at a whim; or soften gently, and smile brighter than the sun in springtime; or they could spring up like a bubbling brook and dance like damselflies over a sparkling pool.
Now, though, they were drained, like once-shiny fruit that had first fallen in the wind and then shriveled up and dried, leaving a sad, depleted pit where once had been the heart of life. And she knew too.
Her gaze lingered upon Chris for a second, just a second, and then she stumbled blindly across the room. What could they say to each other? How could they end what had started? She couldn’t look at him. Not now.
Wringing the drips from the cascade of night-black gossamer that tumbled from her head over her shoulders, she folded up like a deckchair in a storm, collapsing into a chair. Raindrops were still slowly poking on the tips of her scarf and then hurtling recklessly down, one by one, drop by drop, splashing on the floor. Jess hadn’t even shut the door.
As I staggered onto my feet to go and push the door closed again, a flash of bright light startled me through the window. A firework. Just a firework, I assured myself. Then even that hit me, another hurtling thud into the depths of my gut. Fireworks? Now? Had people dwindled, had they fallen this far?
In the blackness and rain outside, fire met water, and hell danced around us, and Lucifer was laughing.
I shut the door.
I knew it would not stay shut for long, though…
It was a long night, and it was the last long night of a mad, dying world, or so it seemed to the three forgotten souls in that flat fifty years ago. Shouts and the plod, plod, plod of clumping, tramping, stamping feet outside filled our skittish, nervous minds, and we quivered as if we were tiny, feeble mice that had looked out to see the wide world and found it was too big and too harsh and too cruel for us to live in.
Boots, heavy boots, hard boots, the boots of pain, boots were clattering down the street. One house, then another – then another and the next, the flashlights revealing the hidden few, bringing them out into a light, a searing, searching light, that was harsher and crueler yet than the one they had hidden themselves away from.
We knew the door would not say shut for long, but the knock, harsh and cold, surprised us all the same.
“God”, moaned Jess, her eyes clamped tight. “God, god, god.” She stepped up took one last look at Chris, and then hurried into the bathroom, retching violently. She knew.
Chris looked at me. He knew. I looked at Chris. I knew. He was a dead man walking, and his eyes knew. They couldn’t see me any more, emotion dying under the burden of what we knew.
“Chris,” I started, hesitantly.
A second tap, cold and clear, on the door.
“Say no more,” he sighed, a chesty sigh that poured away life along with the air from his lungs. “Do not… do not put yourself in danger. Don’t be seen to be helping a man like me.” He was world-weary and life-sick, but I knew I had to say something. For the knock rang out again.
“Hello? Anyone in?” a man’s voice barked from outside, each syllable gruff and grating, like the growl of an angry, vicious terrier waiting and ready to leap, pounce, bite, and kill.
“A man like you? Of a race whose fathers built civilization? Of a race whose fathers built the greatest monuments of antiquity? Of a race whose sons have included some of the greatest scholars of their ages? Chris, you have no obligation to do anything. You still have rights, there are still laws…” My voice trailed off. There is only so much a man can lie to himself.
And the fourth knock was harder, harsher still.
“Open up in there! Search order!”
Chris started towards the door, but I started after him.
“Don’t give up!” I implored, a desperate growl harshly ripping through my voice. “The world has not ended…”
Chris looked at me with dead stone-eyes once more. For the last time.
“My world has ended.”
He opened the door.
I think I was still standing there, rocking slightly on my feet to the rhythm of my beating heart (still beating?), when Jess emerged ten minutes later she looked sick and pale, and her eyes darted left and right, up and down, searching for a man who wasn’t there. My eyes slid around, trying to find a way to sidle out, to not have to bear witness to what was before me, but to no avail. Jess looked straight at me then, with eyes that still sear into my mind on dark or restless nights.
“Has… Has he..?” was all she managed to croak.
Biting my lip so hard it began, eventually, to seep blood out and leak it over my lips, I nodded, slowly.
Jess ran out onto the balcony of the flat, screaming wildly into the sunrise, a death scream to chill the soul and stop the heart. I followed her, and then just stood there and watched as she hung her head over the railing, then stood and stared into the middle distance. As I walked up to put a feeble, late arm around her shoulders, she turned her face upwards to the morning clouds. Facing up to the sky, Jess crumpled her face into a knot, wringing the memories out one by one by one by one by one by painful one…
And the last thing I remember is looking down, and seeing the splash of a teardrop as it tumbled to the floor.
Logged to server on January 4, 2092
THE TEARS OF THE RAINDROP
Can you see the marks? Will it be fast? Here in the mud. Lying in the mud. Dying in the mud.
I think I can see the splash of a raindrop through my misted eyes. It’s odd what eyes see in life… But I’ll be beyond it soon. Away. Dead. Gone.
I have tried to be brave, for surely those are the bravest men who know their fight is hopeless, and can see their defeat, and walk with head held high to meet it? Have I done right? Remember me, friends. Remember my story, and walk with your heads held high, and not your hands.
My body shall lie in this room as testament to the evils of men. What has been done cannot be undone; I will never see the light of day again, and nor shall those who I fought for. It would have been easy, I often think to die for the millions – the outcasts, the forgotten ones, all those condemned that day. I didn’t. I struggled. I kicked. I shouted.
And until today, I have lived…
The splash of a raindrop on the windowsill. A pair of trainers lazily lying on a seat. Light shoes, not tough, not walking shoes. A magazine (Was it news? Science? My memory is fading with my eyes). Yes – there was a magazine on the table – just next to the TV. December 8, 2019. A date I’ve remembered for fifty-one years and but for this record, will go with me to my grave. I’ve walked a long road since then. I’ve needed tougher shoes.
The flat wasn’t big, and it seemed all the smaller since the three (was it only ever three?) yes, just the three of us lived there. I owned the flat: Chris worked in a shop below, and Jess had an office down the road. Three of us. Chris’s grandparents had been Iranian (that was before New Persia was formed), and he was a joker, a lanky, capering clown of a man who was almost unsettlingly humorous, and since we had met, one day on a train station waiting to go to Cambridge, he had been my friend. Jessica was quiet, and pale, and clever and almost unthinkingly kind and she walked with a dance-step, and played an old violin when she felt sad.
I don’t remember what was for supper that night, or even whether or not we ate anything; I was just fixated on the TV.
Chris walked in late after work, drawn and wan, his sallow face pale and peaky. Perhaps he knew already. His eyes, dark and shadowy, anxious eyes, they said so.
We sat down and watched the TV. I am an Atheist, and as I saw the flickering pixels, drilling holes into my eyes, I knew I was right. How could this have happened? The flickering pixels danced like delighted devils, hammering the iron nails of hatred again and again, the bolts ever riveting my disbelieving eyes harder and closer and tighter to the screen.
Cheering crowds. I think that was what hit me the hardest. Cheering for death. Cheering for hatred. When I was younger, I thought I knew what people were like. I had been wrong, and this – this was wrong, wrong, wrong… (For what had the people condemned at the ballot box done wrong? They had committed no crime, angered nobody, attacked nobody – but they were not the same, not quite the same. It was not even that they were foreign – maybe ten generations ago an ancestor or two had been – and after December 3, 2019, they were the lost and cursed and damned.)
I looked at Chris. His eyes were wide, and not with academic interest or casual surprise. Not with anxiety, not even with fear. This was deeper, this was more violent, an emotion suppressed in man’s past that had come back in all its fully frightening glory. This was terror. Primal, gut-ripping, petrifying, fight or flight, rat-eat-rat terror. His fingernails gouged into the ageing plastic of the chair, and his shoes flicked jerkily back and forth, back and forth, back and forth... Man is an animal after all; and Chris had found that he still had his predators.
The door creaked gently open, and a light, nervous step was gingerly taken into the room. Chris leapt up, eyes like a slavering wild horse; the slow, teetering splash of his coffee on the floor went almost unnoticed. The slender black shoe was followed, though, by Jess. Looking fatigued and pained, she had rims of crumpled red silk around her tired eyes.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget anything about Jessica’s eyes: they could pierce and penetrate, extracting everything she wanted from you at a whim; or soften gently, and smile brighter than the sun in springtime; or they could spring up like a bubbling brook and dance like damselflies over a sparkling pool.
Now, though, they were drained, like once-shiny fruit that had first fallen in the wind and then shriveled up and dried, leaving a sad, depleted pit where once had been the heart of life. And she knew too.
Her gaze lingered upon Chris for a second, just a second, and then she stumbled blindly across the room. What could they say to each other? How could they end what had started? She couldn’t look at him. Not now.
Wringing the drips from the cascade of night-black gossamer that tumbled from her head over her shoulders, she folded up like a deckchair in a storm, collapsing into a chair. Raindrops were still slowly poking on the tips of her scarf and then hurtling recklessly down, one by one, drop by drop, splashing on the floor. Jess hadn’t even shut the door.
As I staggered onto my feet to go and push the door closed again, a flash of bright light startled me through the window. A firework. Just a firework, I assured myself. Then even that hit me, another hurtling thud into the depths of my gut. Fireworks? Now? Had people dwindled, had they fallen this far?
In the blackness and rain outside, fire met water, and hell danced around us, and Lucifer was laughing.
I shut the door.
I knew it would not stay shut for long, though…
It was a long night, and it was the last long night of a mad, dying world, or so it seemed to the three forgotten souls in that flat fifty years ago. Shouts and the plod, plod, plod of clumping, tramping, stamping feet outside filled our skittish, nervous minds, and we quivered as if we were tiny, feeble mice that had looked out to see the wide world and found it was too big and too harsh and too cruel for us to live in.
Boots, heavy boots, hard boots, the boots of pain, boots were clattering down the street. One house, then another – then another and the next, the flashlights revealing the hidden few, bringing them out into a light, a searing, searching light, that was harsher and crueler yet than the one they had hidden themselves away from.
We knew the door would not say shut for long, but the knock, harsh and cold, surprised us all the same.
“God”, moaned Jess, her eyes clamped tight. “God, god, god.” She stepped up took one last look at Chris, and then hurried into the bathroom, retching violently. She knew.
Chris looked at me. He knew. I looked at Chris. I knew. He was a dead man walking, and his eyes knew. They couldn’t see me any more, emotion dying under the burden of what we knew.
“Chris,” I started, hesitantly.
A second tap, cold and clear, on the door.
“Say no more,” he sighed, a chesty sigh that poured away life along with the air from his lungs. “Do not… do not put yourself in danger. Don’t be seen to be helping a man like me.” He was world-weary and life-sick, but I knew I had to say something. For the knock rang out again.
“Hello? Anyone in?” a man’s voice barked from outside, each syllable gruff and grating, like the growl of an angry, vicious terrier waiting and ready to leap, pounce, bite, and kill.
“A man like you? Of a race whose fathers built civilization? Of a race whose fathers built the greatest monuments of antiquity? Of a race whose sons have included some of the greatest scholars of their ages? Chris, you have no obligation to do anything. You still have rights, there are still laws…” My voice trailed off. There is only so much a man can lie to himself.
And the fourth knock was harder, harsher still.
“Open up in there! Search order!”
Chris started towards the door, but I started after him.
“Don’t give up!” I implored, a desperate growl harshly ripping through my voice. “The world has not ended…”
Chris looked at me with dead stone-eyes once more. For the last time.
“My world has ended.”
He opened the door.
I think I was still standing there, rocking slightly on my feet to the rhythm of my beating heart (still beating?), when Jess emerged ten minutes later she looked sick and pale, and her eyes darted left and right, up and down, searching for a man who wasn’t there. My eyes slid around, trying to find a way to sidle out, to not have to bear witness to what was before me, but to no avail. Jess looked straight at me then, with eyes that still sear into my mind on dark or restless nights.
“Has… Has he..?” was all she managed to croak.
Biting my lip so hard it began, eventually, to seep blood out and leak it over my lips, I nodded, slowly.
Jess ran out onto the balcony of the flat, screaming wildly into the sunrise, a death scream to chill the soul and stop the heart. I followed her, and then just stood there and watched as she hung her head over the railing, then stood and stared into the middle distance. As I walked up to put a feeble, late arm around her shoulders, she turned her face upwards to the morning clouds. Facing up to the sky, Jess crumpled her face into a knot, wringing the memories out one by one by one by one by one by painful one…
And the last thing I remember is looking down, and seeing the splash of a teardrop as it tumbled to the floor.
Logged to server on January 4, 2092
1635
Mods, Maps & Game Add-Ons - The Bazaar / Age of Mythology: The Dwarf Nation
« on: July 25, 2011, 10:14:27 PM »
Oh yez oh yez, ladies and gentlemen...
AGE OF MYTHOLOGY
The Dwarf Nation
I've been knocking this together over the last day or so. It's a mod for vanilla (I lost my titans expansion) that will when complete give the Thor faction the option to wholly convert into a faction of Dwarfs, with certain unique abilities. When you research the tech you lose access to all human units, but you can opt not to research it and play Thor more or less as normal (the only difference being that the Dwarfs still upgrade to Warriors rather than Ulfsarks, though these can't build any of the Dwarf special buildings).
NEW UNITS (Thus Far)
- Dwarf Warriors, armed with pickaxes. They can build and mine gold too!
- Dwarf Archers, an expensive but accurate archer that can also build and mine gold. Fights with an axe in hand-to-hand
- Bomb Carts. It's pulled by an ox, when you hit the button it blows everything nearby to smithereens
- Dwarf Smithy, where additional technologies can be researched
- Dwarf Weapon Store, where warriors and archers can be trained
- Dwarf Engineers' Guild, where artificers can create ballistae, explosives, and new relics!
AGE OF MYTHOLOGY
The Dwarf Nation
I've been knocking this together over the last day or so. It's a mod for vanilla (I lost my titans expansion) that will when complete give the Thor faction the option to wholly convert into a faction of Dwarfs, with certain unique abilities. When you research the tech you lose access to all human units, but you can opt not to research it and play Thor more or less as normal (the only difference being that the Dwarfs still upgrade to Warriors rather than Ulfsarks, though these can't build any of the Dwarf special buildings).
NEW UNITS (Thus Far)
- Dwarf Warriors, armed with pickaxes. They can build and mine gold too!
- Dwarf Archers, an expensive but accurate archer that can also build and mine gold. Fights with an axe in hand-to-hand
- Bomb Carts. It's pulled by an ox, when you hit the button it blows everything nearby to smithereens
- Dwarf Smithy, where additional technologies can be researched
- Dwarf Weapon Store, where warriors and archers can be trained
- Dwarf Engineers' Guild, where artificers can create ballistae, explosives, and new relics!