Spoil a wish

[Jubal]

You legally own five wispa bars. However, you don't know which wispa bars, and they are scattered across the world with a small tag on the outside of the wrapper. You spend your life wandering the stores across the planet looking for the wispa bars that are by right yours.

I wish that I could get to sleep easily at will.

[NanoTeq_RPG]

You can sleep whenever you want, but also fall asleep whenever you think of fatigue, the word "tired" or other similar concepts - you also have no control over when you wake up!

I wish I had more confidence

[Jubal]

You have so much confidence you practically believe you can fly. You can't, and this goes badly for you.

I wish I had more mental fortitude

[Ierne]

You have more mental fortitute, but no more physical fortitude than you currently do, which leads to you picking fights with oversized dragons and coming off the worst.

I wish I could stop falling off of things in Minecraft.

[Jubal]

You stop falling off things in Minecraft by virtue of no longer being in Minecraft, which you are now permanently banned from playing in order that you won't fall off things in it.

I wish I could write my thesis significantly faster.

[Tusky]

You can write it as quickly as you are able, however the increased speed leads to a proportional dip in quality.

I wish I were better at thinking of amusing responses to posts in this thread

[Jubal]

You are so good at thinking of amusing responses to posts in this thread that anyone who reads the thread dies of side-splitting laughter. You now have fewer friends and nobody left to use your supreme talent on.

I wish my arm worked normally again.

[Ierne]

your arm works normally, as defined by a community of small, octopus-like beings from a planet in the Andromeda galaxy - Ie, you no longer have bones.

I wish I was more emotionally robust.

[Jubal]

You become more emotionally robust, but specifically the emotion that gets more robust is ennui, and you are now in a permanent impregnable state of slightly francophone boredom. You end up owning too many rollneck jumpers and gesticulating loosely with cigarettes that you can't quite be bothered to smoke.

I wish landlords could be abolished as an institution.