Author Topic: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer  (Read 90039 times)

Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1140 on: August 09, 2018, 11:37:57 PM »
It would be more efficient, but the stove unions would object to cars taking their jobs.

Why was the best time in human history the Eighteenth of October, 4381 BC?
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beebug_nic

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1141 on: August 10, 2018, 10:33:54 AM »
Well, firstly it was a Sunday - which always puts people in a good mood. But why was it such a good time for humanity? well on that day one of the Great Elder Gods whispered into the ears of a relatively unknown farmer. The words were themselves appeared in a dream as the farmer slept in the shade under a particularly hot sun.  As the words worked themselves from the farmers subconscious into his waking brain, he sat bolt upright and laughed harder than anyone had ever laughed in history.  He recorded those words on a stone tablet, and eventually the words grew and spread amongst the people. And those words were:

Jul qvq gur puvpxra pebff gur ebnq?

And the rest, as they say, is history.

---

Why does my milk go off whenever I leave it out of the fridge?


Tusky

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1142 on: August 10, 2018, 02:01:34 PM »
It goes off in the same way that a gun would go off - because you applied heat to it. It's just that guns require a lot more heat indeed to make enough force to move the bullet. Milk going off takes a really really long time, but the results are the same.

Were the jam famous for liking jam? Or did they just make it.
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Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1143 on: August 22, 2018, 10:46:54 AM »
Neither. They believed themselves to be jam and saw jam eating as a form of cannibalism, and thus impermissible except for chili jam because that doesn't count.

What is the weight of a waiting waiter?
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Caradìlis

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1144 on: August 22, 2018, 02:39:51 PM »
Zero, because you should never ask anyone how much they weigh, it's impolite.

Why is heat legal?
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comrade_general

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1145 on: August 22, 2018, 02:46:03 PM »
Because cold is illegal.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
I'd be more apathetic if I weren't so lethargic.

Caradìlis

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1146 on: August 22, 2018, 05:45:58 PM »
Going by that logic: Testical.

Why does the stuff I want always have to be out of stock?
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Tusky

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1147 on: August 23, 2018, 01:40:32 PM »
There is a team of people who specifically track your online activities. When they see that you are about to click onto something you might want they hurriedly purchase all remaining stock so there is none left for you to buy.

What would you do if I sang out of tune?
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comrade_general

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1148 on: August 23, 2018, 01:53:41 PM »
Stand up and walk out on you.

What would you do if I tune out of sang?
I'd be more apathetic if I weren't so lethargic.

Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1149 on: August 25, 2018, 09:55:56 AM »
Explode and implode simultaneously.

Why aren't cocktail sticks made of a cock's tail?
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Tusky

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1150 on: August 25, 2018, 12:17:52 PM »
In a way they are: They are made of the old oars of coxswains who retire from rowing. The spelling did used to be called coxswain sticks but adopted today's spelling due to semantic shift

A microphone is not a small phone, nor is a microlight a small light. Should we find new words for impostors like these or prefix every word with "micro"
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Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1151 on: August 26, 2018, 10:15:09 AM »
I am in microagreement with the second micro idea in your micropost.

Straw, huh, what is it good for?
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Caradìlis

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1152 on: August 26, 2018, 11:05:28 AM »
Well, I use it to burn corpses...

Are butterflies made of butter?
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Jubal

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1153 on: August 26, 2018, 11:20:01 AM »
No, they're made of margarine, it's a massive scam >:(

Are horseflies made of horse?
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Caradìlis

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Re: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer
« Reply #1154 on: August 26, 2018, 11:35:26 AM »
No, but they are famous for their horsemanship...

Why isn't red yellow?
"Those who don't beieve in magic will never find it." - Roald Dahl