Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[The Seamstress]

I've no idea (?)


What makes the universe universal?

[Jubal]

Chicken poop is the secret ingredient. Don't tell anyone!


We always talk about gut instinct - why don't we listen to our spleen instinct more?

[The Seamstress]

It's too choleric.


Is there a remedy for awkward silence?

[Jubal]

A sense of companionship. It makes the silence less awkward.

Actually that might not be a stupid answer, so also, cow gallbladders.

Why hasn't undead Leonard Cohen gone on tour yet?

[The Seamstress]

I guess he has better or more important things to do. Being undead is a lot of work in itself.


Where does one legally obtain cow gallbladders and/or companionship?

[Jubal]

Frisia probably?

Why can't I just be a professional bard?

[The Seamstress]

Because you're already a professional historian and hobbit. 


What am I supposed to do?

[Jubal]

Supposedly there is a supposition that you are supposed to suppose that a suppressed plan for supplanting supper and supplementing supportive suppositories supports suppositions that one shouldn't try to use this many "supp-" words in a sentence.


How would the story be different if Pandora's box was a box hedge?

[The Seamstress]

The curses unleashed would have been much, much worse. We should be glad it was only a box.


What's the hidden agenda of those pesky green shield bugs that currently hang around everywhere in vast numbers? I don't trust them!

[Jubal]

They're really invested in solving cryptic crosswords mostly. Very suspicious behaviour.

Given I can trink tea why can't I drink Uwe, Vea, or Dubbleyue?

[The Seamstress]

Because these actually aren't drinkable. Uwe is made of chicken meat in jelly, Vea is a sticky mixture of nuts, beach sand, and strawberry syrup, and Dubbleyue is meat jelly too, but twice the amount.


Why don't humans just start to eat hay, wouldn't it be more environmentally friendly?

[Jubal]

We don't want to fight the horses for it, they're bigger than us.

Why does staying up until 3 make me so tired?

[The Seamstress]

Because you're supposed to sleep at 3 am! Otherwise the Invisible Insomnia Demon Hamsters of Sleepless Peril are going to get you. They feed on your energy. They're EVIL. You can only ward them off by actually sleeping, because then they're unable to bite you.

How do raindrops work?

[Jubal]

Usually in a small office cubicle. They don't like pot plants much but often have commemorative myg collections.


If we can call girls Rosemary, why don't we also call girls Thyme?

[The Seamstress]

Because if Thyme would be a girls' name, Parsley and Sage would have to be, too, and subsequently, Mint, Dill, Cilantro, etc. And no one wants to be called Cilantro.


Why does cilantro taste like soap, and not like something normal?