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Messages - Phoenixguard09

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3001
Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! / 3 word story
« on: January 15, 2011, 06:01:29 PM »
In the beginning there was Pike. Wielded by a deadly armoured panda, twenty feet tall, with great big ears, it killed a rat and offered it to blood god Khorne for the lulz. It's pet parrot joined the Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizit

3002
Narnia Total War / FIRST BETA
« on: January 15, 2011, 05:55:33 PM »
Excellent, ok then downloading now.  

EDIT* Ok then downloaded and played two matches.  

First was on British Grasslands turned out to  be on  a rocky incline with Narnians against Telmar.  Was surprised to find Telmarines in bright blue uniforms.

Centaurs were quite good.  A little glitchy but seemed to work ok.  I laughed when they died though as the game thinks the human part is riding the horse part.  Every dead centaur was cut in half. :D

Second was a siege in Arretium with Archenlanders against The Wastelanders.  Didn't end up playing all the way through.  I killed all they're Dwarfs and they couldn't move the siege equipment with Wolves.  Archenland Retainers have a black box around their glaives.  

The Dogs were funny too. Looked like Hyenas.  All in all a damn good effort Jubal.  +rep for even attempting it.

3003
Narnia Total War / FIRST BETA
« on: January 15, 2011, 05:51:38 PM »
Wow that was quick. :D

I have one question before I download.  Is it modfoldered?

3004
Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! / Beat the armor/weapon
« on: January 14, 2011, 06:09:41 AM »
I win.  Marneus Calgar cannot die according to GW.  

"He are cool guy.  He sucker punchez Avatar of Khaine.  He can ripz Thunderhawkz apart with hiz bare handz."  Quoted from Codex: Ultramarines.

Attachments:

3005
Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! / Spoil a wish
« on: January 14, 2011, 06:04:04 AM »
How could you debux!  Deny me my spoon in the General Knowledge Exam!  That takes all purpose away from it!  

Granted.  But then you are mobbed as the millions of trollz around the world unite and use up the world's bandwidth.  Sick of the trollz, Earth's people decide to create a new global forum but you missed the meme.  

I wish for Rome Total War 2.

3006
avatar 6/10: Not sure what that is either.  On the other hand it made me think, so 6/10 for you.  
sig 8/10: Random and yet rather appealing.  :D


Quote
avatar 5/10: isn't that a griffon (however it's called)? Don't like the excessive whiteness (although the animal-lookalike is kinda cool)
Yeah its a gryphon.  (I'm a traditionalist.  :P )  
Quote
sig 7/10: made me laugh inwardly, but it's highly inappropriate *grandma impression* I don' raise no grandson like those!
I'm sorry if you were offended.  But at least I made you laugh. :D

3007
Stories and AARs / Hibernia's Last Ridaire's
« on: January 13, 2011, 09:58:52 PM »
Hi guys, this a story I wrote tonight for a competition.  Just thought you guys might be interested.  

DISCLAIMER* I'm aware that I've probably made loads of big mistakes as far as the period goes, but they make the story interesting.  Like for instance Ridires wearing lamellar.  Probably never happened.  But at least the Gaelic is accurate.  But then again I'm still learning and who's to say that they spoke Irish Gaelic back then anyway.  

The twelve Hiberno/Roman auxiliaries rode out an hour after dawn, on a cold, dark, British morning.  Small droplets of rain splattered against the Ridaire’s lamellar cuirasses, as Caradoc O’Bannain led his men through the gates of Aballava Fort, situated along Hadrian’s Wall.  His men had been defending Roman interests in Briton for fifteen years, and now, their time was almost done.  One more mission kept the men from returning home, across the Eirish Sea and back to Hibernia.  After so many decades of war on this most northern frontier, the Roman Empire had declared their orders to abandon the colonies in Britannia.  The Pict and Briton Celtic tribes had always resisted Roman rule.  While south of Hadrian’s Wall was civilised, north was untamed and dangerous.  And that was exactly where Caradoc and his men had to go.  

Their mission was to abduct the Roman dignitary, Manius Numiceus who was held prisoner by the Celts.  This would take Caradoc’s Ridaires past Hadrian’s Wall and deep into Celt territory.  However in doing so, they would earn their discharge and would be free to return west, to Hibernia.  

Shaking off is melancholy thoughts, Caradoc called for his scouts, the brothers Aileann and Artagan.  The two rode forward to the head of the company, and Caradoc marvelled at them.  In appearance and temperament, the two men were as different as night and day.  And yet never once had they quarrelled, to Caradoc’s knowledge at least.  “Ní mór dúinn a fhios agat cá bhfuil an fear seo. Faigh air dom.” “We need to know where this man is.  Find him for me.”  With a nod from Artagan, the two set off to track down their quarry like two arrows let loose from a bow.  

After fifteen years of fighting side by side with his men, Caradoc knew the brothers wouldn’t let him down.  Within twenty minutes they had returned.  Aileann rode straight to Caradoc, “Fuair muid an turas.” “We found the trail.” “Marcaigh dom! Agus lig gach fear a fhios anseo fanann an tsaoirse sin dó in Éirinn!” "Riders to me! And let every man here knows that freedom waits for him in Hibernia!"

Caradoc’s Ridaires pushed their steeds to the limit that day, not halting their pursuit for respite or nourishment.  The hoof beats of Eirish Hobit horses reverberated through valley, forest and over plains.  At last they came upon a ridge, where Aileann and Artagan had halted.  “Bhreathnaíonn sé an champa, captaen.” “It overlooks the camp, Captain.”  

The Celt camp was set up in no particular order, except that the ceannaire’s tent was set up, predictably in the centre of the camp and was recognisable by the fact that it was a third larger than all the others and didn’t have any noticeable holes in it.  Eadan took a long look at the encampment.  “Mar, sin cén chaoi linn a fháil i ann?”  “So, how do we get in there?”

The stray wisps of cloud lay strewn across the sky as if by the hand of an angry god, slightly obscured the moon’s pale shine.  The Ridaires made their move.  Together, they took up their bows and rode over the ridge, scanning the horizon for potential targets.  The Celt picket line didn’t even see what was coming as two arrows flashed out of the night and took the sentries on either side of Caradoc’s chosen breakthrough point in the chest.  Without a break in momentum the Ridaires continued their forward rush and started to scour the camp itself for the prisoner.  


That was what I entered for the comp.  What do you think?  I know the story's still going but I had a 500 word limit and even without the Gaelic bits I was still 20ish word over.  I'll probably do more if anyone wants.  And even if they don't. :D

3008
avatar 6/10: I'm indifferent.  I actually dont even know what it is.  Looks like an angry super hero.  But I've decided to give you an extra point for funny (and so true) personal text.  
sig 7/10: Rather funny.  Specially Anti Twilight.  Ban the sparkly vamps!

3009
Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! / Ban the person above you
« on: January 13, 2011, 07:33:02 PM »
Banned for banning someone with a somewhat amusing yet satanic avatar.

3010
Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! / Spoil a wish
« on: January 13, 2011, 07:31:50 PM »
Granted.  

But then you are flattened by a skittish horse drawing a cart and realise just as you die, "It's general knowledge that horses are jumpy around cars. The dude who drove this thing to school today would have known that had he studied for the now non-existent general knowledge exam."

I wish for a general knowledge exam.  In a horse drawn cart.

3011
Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! / Guess Who Will Post Next
« on: January 13, 2011, 07:27:40 PM »
Wrong although we might indeed be the same person.  But if we are then the good lucking part is mine. :D

Next will be Goldy.  And he will be mad.

3012
Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! / Spoil a wish
« on: January 13, 2011, 04:08:11 PM »
You get it.  Whatever it is I get a better one.  You immediately feel sad about the awesomeness of my yaaaaalanaaaaaa!  

I wish for new smileys.

3013
General Chatter - The Boozer / Playlist
« on: January 12, 2011, 08:08:31 AM »
Rock for AC/DC (Mainly the Back in Black album) and the Screaming Jets (Hits and Pieces).  Don't know what Offspring comes under but they're awesome too.

EDIT* And Third Eye Blind.  I'm learning how to play Jumper.

3014
Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! / PANTS!
« on: January 12, 2011, 04:55:30 AM »
My name is Michael J. Cabose and I hate PANTS!
I see some pants and some ceilings.  Wait! Just one ceiling!  
I have to go to the bathroom now.  Which is odd, cause I already went when we were standing in the pants together.  
I can be angry!  I just have to concentrate on bad things.  Like milk.  No, wait.  Red!  Red Pants!
The last thing I remember was a mean kitten.  And then we were in the janitor's pants.  And my throat hurts.  Alot.  
Your pants have been burnt and no amount of scraping will remove the black stuff.  
Your brain is a mountain of pants.  (Or alternatively, Your pants are a mountain of hatred.)

All from a certain Michael J. Cabose.  God I love Red vs Blue.

3015
Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! / Spoil a wish
« on: January 12, 2011, 04:39:57 AM »
He's been assimilated into my consciousness.  Therefore granted but its me.  

I wish for a toasted cheese sandwich.

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