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« on: January 12, 2018, 11:40:01 AM »
One cloudy morning, I saw a rock shaped like a nice banana complete with two completely innocent badgers feasting on human grain products legally. They seemed pissed at a rock on the other orange levitating turtle.
"I hate rocks," the turtle said and then she went over to Khan's house where the badgers lived. "What's for lunch?!!" she yelled.
"Carrots," Khan replied.
"I like rocks covered in dust instead," she said. So Khan murdered three dusty rocks with a big rock murdering hammer.
The next morning Khan felt bad. So he said ''God have mercy on the rocks". God was unfortunately absent as usual, but his secretary, Miss Gimmie Moor untied her shirt and offered Khan batches of homemade pudding made from stones and onions, seducing him to come to where old elephant's die so that they both could finally jump off cliffs built of candy. But Khan faked his not-so-fetal death by using embryos as natural airbags and lands safely on Santa's belly. Then he bounced back home. Carrots taste really good, APRIL FOOLS, they boiled some tasty dusty carroty rocks, instead. It tasted like rocky carrots!
"Bleh, they still more salt and pepper is definitely not an option" said a certain birdie that needs a certain colored necroposter to be dead right now. The certain birdie found the big stash of Khan's Necroposted forum posts and began deleting them, using the corpse of his mercilessly slaughtered rock-potato to savagely slaughter Khan's posts as if they were very dusty and naughty flowers that spread pollen over Khan's dress, which smelled like dirty sausages.
The furious and beasty feet of feet recklessly smashed the hell out of Khan's posting habits. Then poor Khan gathered his horrific post collection and resurrected them as evil.
"Toilet time!" cried the turtle to Khan's evil potty, which he pulled more posts into, creating a whirling vortex of Undead Necro Posts. Then the mighty Khan, ruler of Necroposting, decided to take a nap under the watchful Sir de Gamer, but forgot to flush the toilet. Sir de Gamer stared at Khan in complete disgust as he undeniably witnessed a floating bird-shaped greenish turd float slowly by. The baneful turd began speaking to murderous daemons of the sewer system who granted him the immortal power and excrement-stained instruments to conquer the final frontiers of the Unspeakable Toilet. This incident provoked the response from Debux as he began picking his nose and then offering a sterilized goose as sacrifice to Miss Gimmie Moor to make sure this story will end up with Miss Gimmie Moor giving him a copy of this awesome fairytale.
Suddenly, a spirit appeared in front of Debux, to inform that he has the biggest teeth out of all the world's bunnies! "My gosh! What big eyeballs you have! Like my cousin's pet armadillo when he was on the edge of a cliff and shoved you, his big furry slave," replied Dubux. Feet came riding on a somewhat degenerate and slightly retarded llama that twitched rather oddly if you decided to activate her free movie ticket. Suddenly, Debux said "I would like a fluffy pink lamb with red tassles dangling from it's over-sized sombrero and eating tacos!" Suddenly, a fluffy blue lamb with an over-sized head, painted pink and dipped in vanilla, appeared and Debux threw a tantrum.
He tripped over and fell flat on a pointy, sharp spike that impaled Debux onto a loaf of moldy bread. Then he ate it. "What an intriguing flavour! I love it so much I could literally die of syphilis! Then what would mama say?" He leapt up to pray to Osiris in order to get more bread crumbs and tasty meaty chunks of day-old squirrel stew so that he could attain godhood. But the gods were absent, as they were busy fixing the plumming at the local Gastropub which often imploded upon itself. This was due to it being manufactured by degenerate velociraptors and potatobears. They are notorious for drug running which often results in very liquidy end for all.
The next morning, while mother was frantically sharpening her hidden blades, Debux stole away in THE EXILIMOBILE! He drove all day and night. This was the best way to avoid velociraptor attacks, but baby dinosaurs are feisty little buggers who won't just go bake muffins. So naturally when the raptor babies were born, they followed the Exilimobile ensuring that whenever they came upon signs of Khan's rock murdering habits.
''This story is absurd, quite frankly!" said Scarlet, suddenly.
"Where did she came from?'' Khan demanded loudly.
"Calm yourself please Khan'' replied Scarlet.
''I need to find out who killed your father Othko" wept Khan.
"I will help you unlock the secrets of murderer finding magics!" she replied.
"Despite being a stranger to all the Exilianites?" Khan questioned.
"Yes, despite that sad thing'', Scarlet said in sorrow.
And Khan knew, winter was coming and Teh Bunneh would freeze all of Khan's little tootsies. He knew that it was time to rug up in the furs of Teh Bunneh or face immediate Bunnehness. It was then that Debux realized that there was a serious shortage of socks. He went to the sock shop but they were all out of the crunchy ones.
''Why do I always have to be the one to bake muffins when winter comes?" Debux asked Khan.
The Khan laughed "Hhhehehe. Just shut your pie hole and get down, shake it fast, but watch yourself!" he said as Debux breathed fire while he gently caressed Dimos' large dance moves. It's something of a killer waltz move.
That's when Armadillo Sr tried to break out of the mental asylum. Unforunately he was the murderer of Khan's little badgers. He wanted revenge. So Khan stole the Exiliamobile from Debux's debauched hacienda; he was unhappy. There was much argument as to whether he should drive intoxicated or take the bus. But the Exiliamobile suddenly caught fire and exploded, sending a plume of raptor baby dust glitter all across Armadillo Sr turning water into schnapps and cold potatoes. It tasted scrumptious. So scrumptious that even the most particularly picky penguin couldn't compare. It made his taste buds jump for a jar of salted CG toes. Even though he was always screaming at random strangers because he thought that they had taken his spittoon, Armadillo Sr determined that he would go forth into the plume of thick red blood and raptor dust to find the missing spittoon that he had lost.
''What a huge bottle of green maple xylem sap you have there, one-eyed pirate man," said Armadillo Sr. A pirate's Zombie Zizzle Bibben Spiral suddenly sprung up and brandished a hot butter knife, advancing with agreession and stabbed Debux. After a brief moment of shock, Debux grabbed the nearest muffin and launched it at the pirate who was swiftly advancing towards the fortress of love and terrible, terrible poems. But despite that, the pirate was carrying a Hodor on his back with incredible ease. The fortress was smelling of ripe love, as a nasty penguin orgy was going on in the basement of the fortress. The Pirate went and grabbed Gmd's sword of ultimate butt-hurt and smote Debux mightily! The penguins stopped, hearing the scream they ran as fast as lightning.
"Holy portugaling armadillo, the fortress is turning into a person! What should I do to stop it from this horrible path?" asked Captain Khan. Yet he stood tall, proud to have witnessed such deeds of sorcery.
Captain Khan grips his bald head while advancing toward a large orange penguin. He drew a bunny rabbit on his head, unaware that nearby a medium sized penguin was aiming a ray gun at his elbow. Suddenly, THE EXILIMOBILE came bursting forth, pulverizing the penguins with it's slimy wheels. It drove up to Khan and waved with great aplomb. It did a gnarly 360 skid, and drove away, drifting off a cliff. This heroic deed was widely praised among the common dolphins. Captain Khan touched his mighty bald head again and turned around.
The transformed turtlefort whirled up dust
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