My cracker jokes went down well. I did everyone a joke, an animal fact, and a quote
~ Christmas Quote ~
At Christmas I no more desire a rose, Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled shows; But like of each thing that in season grows.
Shakespeare (Love’s Labours’ Lost)
~ Wildife fact ~
Emperor penguin males fast for 9 weeks and lose 45% of their weight whilst incubating an egg.
~ Joke ~
Q: A genie gave an old woman a midwinter wish. Seeing her house in a mess, she made her wish – but was dismayed to see the building turn into a Christmas tree. What went wrong?
A: She wished for it to be “spruced up”!
~ Christmas Quote ~
“Gunnar took that offer, and every man thought him a man of great worth. At Yule the Earl gave him a gold ring.”
Njal’s Saga Ch. 31
~ Wildife fact ~
The Arctic Fox is Iceland’s only native land mammal.
~ Joke ~
A man whose wife was a weather forecaster came in excited to work just before Christmas, despite it being grey and wet with no sign of snow. When asked why, he just repeated what his wife had said: “There’ll be more rain, dear!”
~ Christmas Quote ~
“‘Penguins don’t live at the North Pole,’ you will say. I know they don’t, but we have got some all the same.”
JRR Tolkien (The Father Christmas Letters)
~ Wildife fact ~
The radiative properties of polar bear fur are so similar to those of snow that they are often almost invisible to infra-red cameras.
~ Joke ~
Q: On which festiva do we ceebrate the ord bein aid in a manger, wrapped in swadding cothes, born in a humbe stabe?
A: Noel!
~ Christmas Quote ~
“And nobody knows (Tiddley-pom), how cold my toes (tiddley-pom), how cold my toes are growing”
AA Milne (The House at Pooh Corner)
~ Wildife fact ~
Unlike other cetaceans, Beluga whales can move their head around relative to the rest of their body.
~ Joke ~
Q: A lawyer went downstairs on Christmas Eve, late at night, to sit by the fire and finish some work on a contract. Why did he end up being extremely surprised?
A: There was a hidden Claus!
~ Christmas Quote ~
“There are such a lot of things that have no place in summer and autumn and spring... And then when everything’s quiet and white and the nights are long and most people are asleep—then they appear.”
Tove Jansson (Moominland Midwinter)
~ Wildife fact ~
Narwhal tusks can contain up to ten million nerve endings.
~ Joke ~
Q: Why did all of Santa’s little helpers end up on the “Naughty” list and get sticks and coal this year for the fiftieth time running?
A: They’d been too elfish!
Thoughts? I'm not great at joke writing, but I seem to be at least on par with actual cracker joke writers
Presents! Only done the family ones so far, some still to go - my main ones were a coffee table (from parents) which is basically carved to look like a pile of books, and my sister got me an autoharp (another one for the weird instrument collection, it's beautiful). And two books from my Grandpa. Much yays
Will update further when stockings have happened.
My presents for family went down well I think - a book for my Grandpa, a book and socks for my Pa, a picture in a frame for Ma, and a new cake tin and a glass food serving plate for my sister.
Tea - which of the Tolkien dictionaries is it?
