may i recommend our latest product, anti-wild metaphor repellent*, three quick sprays on your jacket and the metaphors won't come near! only 3.99 and available in all reputable pharmacies and trail shops!
*not to be confused with anti-wild meteor defence spray, which will render an attacking metaphor unconcious, but will have the same effect on you if you try and spray it on you jacket.
how can i make my fantasy stories simultaneously both highly original and exactly what the reader was hoping for???