Herein shall be a guide to important phrases, memes, and ideas you shall encounter on this site. Preferably as quirky as possible. Contributions gratefully accepted!
AAndalusExilian's once-resident poet and philosopher, master of wordsmithing. And penguins.
Adventures of SorosA game in which Thou Gaineth An ADVENTURE!
Armadillo- A particularly vexing hacker who once dumped out the whole forum database.
- A site euphemism for fecal matter.
BBagaturKhanThe person to go to if you need to ask "what if Russian novels had more sexy futuristic elves, space bears, and magic sci-fi teapots in them?"
Beer RunWhen someone goes into the Beer Cellar and adds a reply to all, or almost all, the forum games on the page.
Beesnot LumpwagonA character of ill defined shape, existence, gender, diet, et cetera. Thoroughly unclear why they merit an entry.
BigosaurA dinosaur who may or may not be the offspring of a witch.
BunnehExilian's home-grown religious movement, based around an ASCII art Bunneh. Bunneh is all-powerful, and demands carrots.
Burn In Muffin HellThe greatest insult. Muffin hell may or may not technically be an oven.
CCaradìlisExilian's resident witch and herbalist. Good for consultation if you have a cold, sleeping problems, or enemies who need quietly disposing of.
CitizensThe noble and loyal members of the
polis exilianis, who together have True Power(tm).
ClockworkHe runs like clockwork. At least he runs like clockwork would if you oiled clockwork with beer. Provider of Exilian's fashion and music sense.
CN2Exilian's resident candle, which burnez mightily.
CN3CN2's hyper-powered alter ego, about which little is known.
CommunipediaThe Free Socialist-Marxist Encylopedia. Disappeared along with Mixed Mods, in a sudden but spectacular Bourgeois victory.
Comrade_GeneralLeader of Exilian's highly secretive armed forces, codename "Cowman". Owns more guns than some countries have in their entire armed forces.
Cyril and MethodiusPatron saints of Exilian, their day is February 14. Because that's all that happens on February 14, as everybody knows.
DDammit! DD?A common exclamation in certain parts of Exilian. It never is DD, no matter how many times this question is asked.
DebuxHe has a faise. U lieks his faise? May own the Guancananalamama.
DeepcometOnce a boy and a ninja, now a man and an astronomical phenomenon. It seemed a good idea at the time.
DimosDefender of freedom, Exilian's resident radical philosopher, EDU leader, and permanent rejector of skype invitations.
Dripping DMore electorally successful than Franklin Delano Roosevelt, younger than JFK, and with almost as many achievements in office as William Henry Harrison. The People's Choice (TM).
DubsarturFont of historical knowledge. May have once confused an AI into thinking that Exilian was a historical re-enactment website.
EECHOExilian Control and Heuristic Operations. Political party of tough uncompromising staff dedicated to rooting out all threats to Exilian, however nonexistent they may be. Now defunct as proved too compromising.
EDUExilian Democratic Union. For! Democracy! Against! Slavery! The True Opposition To Evil Parties (tm). Now defunct as they opposed themselves too effectively.
E-Team"In 2008, a crack forum unit was suddenly deactivated and lost forever. These members briefly scattered across the inter-webs looking for purpose. Today, still psychotic and weird, they survive as soldiers of fortune at their new home known only as Exilian. If you have a problem...if no one else can help...and if you can find them...maybe you can hire...The E-Team."The E-Team is Exilian's official armed forces, as led by Comrade_General. They are so secretive they forget they exist sometimes.
Eric MatyasThe music master, he who brings sound into soundless places.
ExilianI. This site.
II. The community based around this site.
III. Any user of this site or member of the community, also referred to as "Exilianites", "Exiliphiles", "Exilianers", "Nerds", "Those really weird looking jerks", and "The Greco-Roman Llama Death Patrol". Okay, maybe the last one didn't happen. Except that it has now, and proves itself right by EXISTING.
Exilian ArticlesExilian's repository of all the wisdom and knowledge the rest of humanity didn't really want. Contains a lot of obscure animals, several fantastical worlds, and an undefined number of cows.
Exilian DayMarch 18, the day of the site's founding in 2008. Generally celebrated like a mix of Saturnalia, a really awesome birthday party and an international scrabble championship rolled into one.
Exilian PubThe regular gathering of Exilian folk where they reveal their hidden faces, their frustrations with the universe, and their opinions on everything from wrestling to classical music.
ExiliConLike Exilian but in real life. Notable for having excellent slogans:
- ExiliCon: because at least we're not DashCon.
- ExiliCon: it'll all be alright on the day.
- ExiliCon: it's what gets you through border security.
- ExiliCon: we don't even own a ball pit.
FFIFForums for Internet Freedoms. Woolly-eared soppy citizen-loving liberals.
GGlaurungThe dragon who sits atop Exilian's hoard of wealth. Eats spambots for breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, lunch, etc...
GMDA collective of seventy-three ducklings in a trench coat.
GoldyrulzHigh Prophet of teh Bunneh, he who rulz the church of the floppy-eared one.
GuancananalamamaIt's a goddamn llama. Phoenixguard might own it. Or Debux might.
HHill, theIt's a hill. Or possibly a disused nuclear bunker. Or a whole kingdom. Or a mound of skulls. Or a mound of cupcakes. Whatever it is, nothing will be spared in the deadly battles for control of it.
IIDEThe Opposition! They stand for opposition, democracy, et cetera, and (most importantly), et cetera. Now defunct, et cetera.
JJack S**tPerhaps the only person who knows what the point of the internet is. His office is NEVER OPEN.
JafethAlso here.
JubalMember #1, Megadux, that admin guy. World's most democratic dictator. Possibly a Trireme. See "Trireme". Possibly a Pangolin. See "Pangolin".
KKhan, TheMaster of necropostomancy, last seen riding across the steppes of Asia with a bunch of Tasmangolian web-zombies.
KoobazaurThe Wandering Dev. Hopefully not the secret identity of Mr. Molotov Man. (See "Mr. Molotov Man")
KrishnabotThe Krishnabots are a holy order of wandering spambots. They travel from site to site, preaching their word. It is thought that in abandoned corners of the internet they have converted masses of shoe and kitchen sales bots, who await a sign from Supreme Lord Krishna at which point they will rise up and dedicate the internet to his name. And ban onions and garlic.
LLadyhawkExilian's avian lady, true servant of the Nords and wielder of scary looking bladed weaponry.
MMarcusOwner of teh site, wielder of tech skills beyond mere mortals. He who shall be worshipped.
Meet A MemberPart of the citizens only area. Find out things you never wanted to know! Discover secrets that should have remained hidden! Discuss the merits of competitive jellyfish stuffing! And more!
Mighty Mushroom of MundifronMight not be a thing, but might be a mushroom of awe inspiring power. (I hear its spores are insured for ten thousand dollars. And it does car commercials.
In Japan.)
Mixed ModsThe precursor to Exilian, which disappeared in mysterious circumstances.
Mother of DragonsMaternal overlord of dragonkind, particularly if said dragons are of the soup-producing variety. Has mysterious links to the clone army of SOTKs.
Mr. Molotov ManDoes exactly what he says on the tin. Literally the worst superhero.
NNCIUNeo-Communist Internet Union. Exilian's party dedicated to overthrowing the bourgeois state and replacing it with EQUALITY and stuff. Defunct as it turns out Exilian didn't have a convenient bourgeois state to overthrow. Weirdly has nothing to do with Communipedia.
NecropostingResurrecting long-dead threads by the dark magical arts. Most notably done by The Khan.
NigelNigel is a banker from Nigeria. He beats his butler and kills enemies of the state. With bricks.
NightangelThe child of Deception and Jack Churchill after a very odd party. The only person who gives dating advice involving claymores. He commonly swears to drunk he's not god.
No Marcuses AllowedThe only law in Wibulnubniblia. See "Wibulnubniblia".
OOthko97SOTK Beta. He fell from a high place. See "Son of the King".
PPangolinA small arboreal mammal from Africa with armour plating and the ability to walk up trees on its hind legs. May be Jubal. By extension, may therefore also be a Trireme.
PentagathusKing of the Wibulnibs and ruler of Wibulnubniblia. Fuzzy forum troll responsible for attempting to put off new members. Arch-nemesis of Marcus.
Pentagathus PartyExilian is clearly a benevolent dictatorship not a democracy, something nobody wants. Enter the Pentagathus party, that implores you to Vote Pentagathus for Everything in order to restore true old fashioned iron-fisted autocracy. And rum.
PhoenixguardSlayer of poisonous beasts, possible owner of the Guancananalamama. Literally owns and feeds Satan.
PinkyAn indeterminate internet cryptid. The full scope of what cannot be determined about Pinky is among the things that cannot be determined about Pinky.
Portugal ExplodingIt is an important but little known fact that whenever something major happens, Portugal spontaneously explodes. The entire population of Portugal is usually employed in putting Portugal back together with superglue in order for Portugal to be able to explode again the next time. Tthe reason the financial crisis hit them badly was because
not enough major events were happening to employ the population full-time, and the Portuguese actually have no skills or resources other than a crapton of glue pots.
Private ClarkCreator of gamingness, and the first of the Megas Domestikoi.
Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained TitmouseTrained by the mysterious Professor McBlusterfluff. Is among other things a messenger, comedian, psychoanalyst and explosives expert.
PsyanojimSurprisingly human given his long history with the arcane arts, ruinous powers, and, worse still, corporations. Thinks swords are silly.
SSatanThe devil, spawn of all evil incarnate. Lives in Phoenixguard's kitchen.
ScarletMost conscientious forumite of all the forumites.
Silver WolfA name that stops grown men dead in their tracks. A howling in the night, a quiet word passing round a small town... and the legend of the Wolf spreads a little further.
Son Of The KingThe Prince of Tech Wizardry. SOTK Prime, clan alpha; has at least two clones. Aka SOTK, Sawtekh, Saw,etc.
Soup DragonsThe most common species of dragon in Exiliania. And OHMIGOSHHAVEYOUSEENTHEBABYONE *squee*
SpriteladyProbably at least one of a fey creature and a lady at any given time. Despite the name, more commonly found drinking wine than sprite.
StormcloudFirst landlord of the Boozer. Held the highest post-count for A Very Long Time.
TTeejackboSOTK Gamma. See "Son of the King."
THROW THERMAL PODAn important ritual undertaken regularly by certain Exilians. Helps break the ice, either at parties or alternatively when confronting powerful ice-wizards.
TriremePossibly Jubal. See "Jubal".
TriumphA traditional celebration of the special achievements of a citizen, accompanied by cheering, a frontpagepost, and rum (or would be except that the rum, as all denizens of the web know, is gone :/)
Triumph PointsPoints mean prizes! See "triumph".
TuskyYour friendly tusked neighbourhood watchman. Occasionally sneaks vehicle trailers into movie theatres.
VVance MillerThe Kitchen Bandit Overlord and a nefarious enemy of the Exilians who once assailed the site with his kitchen spambots. From where they come nobody knows, where they go after we smite them is unclear theologically (See Also: Krishnabot), but what is known is that from a warehouse somewhere in the midlands (nb: midlands of what is unclear), Vance Miller sends his legions forth against the fragile walls of the un-spammed world...
WWibulnibA Wibulnib is one of the mythical foes of Exilian, posters of lewd imagery and other such foul things. Nobody has ever seen a wibulnib, for they are a sneaky and foul breed. They are led by Pentagathus and inhabit Wibulnubniblia.
WibulnubnibliaThe mythical home of the Wibulnibs, the dark side of Exilian. Inhabited by the debatably existent Wibulnibs. Wibulnubniblia is kept safe from the wrath of Marcus only by a large handpainted sign saying "No Marcuses Allowed"; this sign is thought to be the only rule the Wibulnibs abide by. This mysterious realm is ruled by Pentagathus.