Ambition
Immeasurable, is that which
falls. Upon many a plane,
a grain of sand to represent,
what I never had but lost.
There is a shadow that forms,
The smoke around my head.
The absence of thought,
of word, try as it might.
For the hand I touch,
does not feel, does not tremble.
For the viscous haze I hold,
does not protect, does not soothe.
Invariable. It shall deign to be,
All that light cannot surpass.
A stream condensed, but still.
It will burst, and seep away,
lost.
Blink
Uncontrollable. They Storm.
Gathering together again, they sigh.
Such a tedious affair to be had
But they hug each other goodbye.
Collecting under familiar terms
all filled with the same despair.
None ready for the expedition
Though they've had time to prepare.
Seldom will they live to see
the beauty that lies below,
To become attached is forbidden
for one day he will say no.
They pour to the border
All grief racked and stricken.
Some take the leap of faith
They crowd begins to thicken.
Rolling down to caress
the unknown takes shape,
their life etched, scars form.
No one will reach the nape.
Their paths are swiped away
Brushed with the back of a hand.
Their presence will be remembered,
for as long as he can stand.
Holding his broken faith
the boy still wonders why.
He vows to show no weakness.
So no one sees him cry.
Really good. Another one with talent to add to the list of Exilian members. ;)
Too kind :P Thank you, in response I shall post another :)
As am I
If I were to blanch, to stutter
avert my eyes, fidget. Mutter
Would you tell me I was true?
When I fall and break, crumple
under the weight of conformity
Would you tell me that I'm different?
As I lie and wait, sit and pace
hopes and dreams under bare feet,
Will you care to tread with love?
Stark and bold my hand rests
upon something untouchable,
upon something unreachable
but still, I hold the improbable.
When pushed and pulled my
Edges will fray, give way.
Unwind and unravel.
The threads of my life.
Impressions leave no mark
on me, silence leaves no
dark within me. Patience
can not comfort me.
But as I carve history into your
face, trace sorrow along your
path and draw fate on your
hand. You laugh at me.
It rings lound and hard,
impermeable and lost.
It is laughter nonetheless,
filling the space of
memories without cost.
Awesome, just some constructive criticism, I think where it says "When I fall and break, crumple" it should be reworded somehow. Other than that, PLEASE POST MORE! ;D
I actually love constructive criticism THANK YOU! I always strive to improve :D
And you really have. (I think, I haven't seen any of your work before this so I really wouldn't know :P)
The Promise of Light
A cloying heat spreads
from apex to sentiment,
weaving, breathing, in and
outisde the shape sculpted
forms a lie of comfort. A
mask wrought of iron intent.
Alas, the colours bleed in
the face of reason, blinding.
Beauty begins to invade the
mindful Creature's haven, where,
before no footprints have dared remain.
Only faint smudges of regret.
Eyes close, mind open,
a path paves its way through
doubt and insecurity. Through
Weakness and war. And for an
Insignificant moment, be still,
And bask in mutuality.
Good! Hey, I actually almost forgot you are a girl. :D
You, my dear, are a fiend :P
:( How? Or did you just forget to put the "r" in "fiend"?
Haha, well played :P You insinuated that because you thought my poetry was actually ok you forgot I was a girl,
which leads me to believe you think only boys are good poets! See my logic :P
No, it was a completely separate statement.
Well then I'm sorry and 'friend' it shall remain.
But yes, I'm a girl :P Hence the paranoid logic ;)
LOL, well it's good to have another girl here other than Ladyhawk. Especially one of your talent... for a girl. ;) (Just joking!)
Honestly, thanks for taking the time to read them! Talent is a strong word for my writing :P
Hope
What is love to me,
if not an ideal of fools?
Such unthinkable joys
Based on manogamous rules.
What is love to me,
except a trivial persuit?
A clandestine farce,
a realistic dilute?
What is love to me,
but an ambitious lie?
Superficial declarations,
Made with lust in their eyes.
What is love to me,
when I know only cold?
Demeaning my life
because I have no one to hold.
:) I love this one, my favorite of yours so far. I have been thinking of writing a poem along these lines for a while but now it's done for me. ;D Good work.
Haha, thanks :P I shall make note to write even more depressing poems!
LOL!! Not too many, I like the happy ones too. :P
Good stuff. You have great control over your style. :)
I particularly like Ambition. Conveys a familiar notion very well.
Is cynicism a style? xD Thanks, I love it when people actually understand and relate to my poetry :)
A complement by the Andalus himself. Nice! ;)
I better get writing to claim more praise :P
I can't wait for more. ;D
I'm a terrible human being and haven't written anything in ages :( Here is the fruit of my last half hour!
It's a competition piece so any comments would be greatly appreciated, the commas are a little annoying but
it's meant to imitate the sea which was the theme we had to write on. Sorry if it's just annoying xD
Tempestuous
The moon of contention,
enigmatic that is true
is brightening you, pleasantly
And you upon your surface
Smile and irresolutely shine back,
But, the depths are too
insecure, too dark, too cold.
Keep moving, you reassure
Dispel the discomfort to be,
monotonous, a lull of,
amiability.
The moon of indifference
casts, spares a hope for
you, me, we, can seethe
Easy the charismatic pull.
An acknowledgement at best.
A silent argument, dispute
Refute. Augmentation of
Wills and you spill
your frustrations upon me
Spittle and foam and
Anguish.
The moon of retribution
Usurps the right of
expression, your broiling mass
of stagnant dreams, tranquillity,
A piece of mind afloat, adrift.
Your howls quieten, listen
entreat me to understand .
Meekly you crawl, lag, drag
Your atonement lapping
at my wounds, wearing
Time and sand.
You're back! How awesome! And that poem is quite nice. You're good... for a girl. ;D
Which one would presume is the same as "good", there being no structural or functional difference in capacity to write poetry between the sexes? :P
I just wanted to say that the the poem won (yay) free oxford book of verse for me! And I'm getting the poetry award at my speech day haha, uni is hectic but I'm going to make an effort to post :)
:o You're here! Awesome! Please stay! :D
Or don't.
Yay, well done! Good to see you again. :)
Qapla'! :)
Took me a while to get anything down on paper, everything I tried just evaporated as soon as the ink hit xD
Finally some progress, so here we are. All comments and criticisms welcome/needed :)
Day's Notice
One shallow sunken sun
That tails the sallow earth,
once it has begun to revolve
to turn and look and avoid
Seek seeds of dreams in
a shadowed nook or floor as
It hurts my eyes, your un- thought words
they beam and sting my sensitive covering
of dirt.
Carefully arranged, oh so artful in
dusting, if you scatter enough the light might
Touch, brush, ignite
one, two, maybe three qualities.
But we won't be changed nor
cracked under fierce, scathing heat
of a glance
So full of oblivious consent.
I will continue to avert in the case
of a drought of your
presence, slowly, carefully scatter
a dusting of careless nature and
Obstinate regret in the line my
silhouette makes whilst you
set.
And the end comes quickly
in a blow of striking night
As my fears are confirmed and the
dawn does not return.