I'm not sure if you all already know how to play this but here goes.
One person say something good happens and the other something bad happens.
eg.
Person 1: Once upon a time there was a princess, unfortunately she was stuck in a tower.
Person 2: Fortunately, one day, a prince came to save her.
Person 3: Unfortunately the prince fell down a hole on the way there and died.
Person 2: Fortunately there were some stairs so the princes could just walk out anyway.
etc.
Ok, so I'll start.
One day Bob was on his way to the pool to have a swim, unfortunately it started raining.
Fortunately, Bob slipped, hit his head and then promptly drowned in the pool so the fact that it was raining didn't matter at all to him.
Unfortunately a passing lvl 9 cleric resurrected Bob so he had to deal with the rain after all
Fortunately, the cleric had an umbrella and gave it to Bob, so Bob was better able to deal with the rain.
Unfortunately, the umbrella seemed to work perfectly fine at that particular moment.
Fortunately, the rain stoped after a while, so the umbrella was of no use anymore...
Unfortunately, the possibility of Bob's unexpected unnatural death is now a lot smaller.
Fortunately, the lvl 9 Cleric leveled up to a lvl 10 Cleric, making the possibility of 'Bob's unexpected unnatural death' much less likely to happen.
Unfortunately, a new edition of the Rules That Be was released and clerics got nerfed, making wizards now a far better build.
Fortunately, Bob suffers an unexpected cardiac arrest.
Unfortunately god does exist and he sends Bob to hell for eternal torment. What a alpaca.
Fortunately, in Hell, Satan offers him a deal, that if he worked as an agent for him than he could go back into the real world... as a daemon in service of the devil.
Unfortunately, he proves to be incapable of such task so the devil rips his soul apart.
Fortunately, Bob's friend the cleric (now level 12) reconstructs his soul and resurrects him again.
Unfortunately, Bob comes back to life as a horribly degenerated, mewling spawn with almost no signs of rational thought.
Fortunately, Bob came back with a very huge urge to kill... everyone... anyone...
Unfortunately he had forgoten to bring his axe with him.
Fortunately, his hands are already disfigured and full of razor-sharp bone outgrowths, so the murders will continue.
Unfortunately, he's lost.
Fortunately, the police caught him and through him in jail.
Unfortunately, his lightning fast metabolism allows him to chew through iron bars at the rate of 1 kg per minute.
Unfortunately, the bar's bronze.
Fortunately, that makes it's digestion even faster.
Fortunately, the cell Bob is in is also imprisoned in another cell.
Unfortunately the other cell is unlocked...
Fortunately, there are guards...
Unfortunatlely they are scared so much to act!
Fortunately, someone triggers and alarm.
Unfortunately, the alarm's broken.
Fortunately, a guard runs and alerts everyone.
Unfortunately, Bob had already escaped, and now he's in the alley, next to the prison...
Fortunately, the alley has a sandwich shop.
Unfortunately Bob is allergic to chilly-stuffed sandwiches...
Fortunately, the shop is on fire, turning the chilly sandwiches into ash.
Unfortunately, Bob is responsible for that fire...
Fortunately, he loves the bright orange flickery stuff.
Unfortunately, fire kills. (Stop, drop, and roll, kids)
Fortunately, he becomes one of the (many varieties of) undead.
Unfortunately, he can't see the sun he so much loved in his real life! (Because the sun would kill our undead Bobby)
Fortunately he had his own polly pocket fusion reactor.
Unfortunately, it was in his pocket. Which burnt off with the rest of his clothes.
Fortunately, unbob likes being naked even more than he likes the sun.
unfortunately he suffers from porphyria so his skin begins to blister horribly
Fortunately, his skin regenerates at the same rate as the blistering.
Unfortunately, this balanced equilibrium can easily be altered by the addition of other sources of electromagnetic radiation.
Fortunately, Bob can invest in an umbrella, which is quite affordable at this time of year and has been proven to reduce the effects of sunlight upon unprotected ski by up to seventy-eight percent. Or so I have been told.
Unfortunately, Bob needed to reduce the effects of sunlight on his skin rather than his skis.
Fortunately he found some sun-lotion, tossed in a trash can (with a high level of skin protection against the dangerous sun-rays!)
Unfortunately there was hardly any sun cream left in the bottle, and it barely covered one arm.
Fortunately, just as he'd used the last of the cream covering just one arm, the sun went in and dark clouds covered the sky.
Unfortunately, it started lashing down with rain.
Fortunately, he had a coat.
Unfortunately it didn't have a hood.
Fortunately he also had an umbrella.
Unfortunately it was a sun shade really, so the rain came through.
Fortunately, he also has a wide brimmed hat.
Unfortunately he left it behind... (It was too heavy [ ;D] for his fragile arms to carry...)
Fortunately he had a friend who carried it for him.
Unfortunately, a bloodthirsty hyena attacked his friend, and ate the hat along with him...
Fortunately, watching his friend ripped to pieces by a hyena made him forget all about the rain.
Unfortunately, the hyena was not satisfied with just his friend.
Fortunately, Bob was certain he wasn't tasty.
Unfortunately, Bob's idea was incorrect
Fortunately he was less tasty than the dead zebra nearby.
Unfortunately, the hyena was still hungry.
Fortunately Rob could climb trees like a chimpanzee ( ;) Hyenas' can't climb :P )
Unfortunately the tree fell down.
Fortunately, as it did, it impaled the hyena.
Unfortunately, a lion happened upon the scene.
Fortunately it was the cowardly lion.
Unfortunately he'd brought a brave lioness.
Fortunately, cowardly lion didn't impress the brave lioness at all. Neither did Bob, as she seemed to have very little interest in him.
Unfortunately, Bob let out a sigh of relief upon realising this and attracted the attention of both lions. The lioness pressures the cowardly lion.
Fortunately the cowardly lion is not totally whipped, and so resists the pressure.
Unfortunately, the cowardly lion thought he might himself have a try at being a fearsome one at that point.
Fortunately, he wasn't very good at being fearsome and did a miaow.
Unfortunately, he had a 1, 000, 000 man army of Wombats with him.
Fortunately, Bob slayed them with his smelly breath!
Unfortunately, they are now zombies so the get back up again and start attacking again.
Fortunately, zombies are slow moving and cannot easily cross running water.
Unfortunately these zombies have access to a speedboat.
Fortunately, zombies cannot drive speedboats.
Unfortunately these zombies can. :P
Fortunately, Bob had an inti-boat gun.
Unfortunately an -->i<--nti-boat gun is a useless device. :P
^
Fortunately there's some of the other variation as well. ;D
Unfortunately the zombies are also skilled aviators.
Fortunately, there are seas creatures to kill them.
Unfortunately the sea creatures went extinct about 20 minutes ago.
Fortunately the boat capsized and blew up.
Unfortunately they had some life jackets and they couldn't perish.
Fortunately the waters were rapid so they got washed miles away down stream.
Unfortunately the waters washed miles away Rob, along with the zombie-enemies. They were stuck in a swamp.
Fortunately the swamp was full of friendly tree Ents.
Unfortunately, the zombies were still present and enraged!
Fortunately the tree Ents weren't friendly towards zombies and they smashed them all to mush until none were left.
Unfortunately the zombie mush turned out to be flammable and burned the Ents.
Fortunately there were some cleaners nearby that cleaned up the mess of burned trees and zombie mush..
Unfortunately, a huge undead owl appeared and ate the liver outta every one!
Fortunately Rob has two livers.
Unfortunately, that does not make him a Time Lord
Fortunately he has 4 hearts, not 2.
Unfortunately one of them stopped working and exploded in a Portugese way!
Fortunately he still has 3 hearts.
Unfortunately he has Portugal-heart diseace, which causes them to explode one by one!
Boom! he lost -1 heart (again!) Boom!
Fortunately he still has a backup hidden in his brain!
Unfortunately he can't do the necessary surgery to put his backup in place.
Fortunately I can!
Unfortunately Jubal is too far away to save him in time.
Fortunately Khan is and saves the day.
Unfortunately I am a very bad brain surgeon and I put the backup in backwards.
Fortunately none of this means anything because I have no idea what we're talking about.
Unfortunately, I do...
Fortunately, this topic seems to be dying out.
Unfortunately, Jubal thinks it fortunate that this topic is dieing out.
Fortunately, Jubal has stopped this topic from dying out by posting.
Unfortunately, Gmd is trying to kill the top 3 posters of Exilian.
Fortunately Gmd shall succeed!!!
Unfortunately, they are all trying to kill him too.
Fortunately, Gmd has a master plan.
Unfortunately, it's GMD's master plan. :P
Fortunately, GMD doesn't know what his master plan actually is.
Unfortunately, you are right.
Fortunately, everyone has forgotten by now why he needed one.
Unfortunately you probably just reminded everyone by posting that.
Fortunately, it didn't matter much anyway.
Unfortunately, nothing really matters in this thread anyway.
Fortunately, the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron matters! :D
Unfortunately, mushrooms mainly grow in dark damp places, such as Wibulnib Empire.
Fortunately, Pentagathus can go get them for us.
Unfortunately, Pentagathus isn't part of our mushroom cult.
Fortunately, Pent can take over your cult with his Wibulnib Empire.
Unfortunately, if he did that than he'd go on to take over Exilian.
Fortunately, he has attempted that several times and failed. (cringes at flashbacks)
Unfortunately, he will never stop trying.
Fortunately, you have the power to stop him.
Unfortunately, your mother won't let you use that power until you've cleaned your room.
Fortunately, you'll be moving out soon.
Unfortunately, the housing market is not in a good state.
Fortunately the tories may lose the next general election and it might get fixed.
Unfortunately, i dislike most the others just as much.
Fortunately, Pentagathus will become dictator pretty soon anyway. :P
Unfortunately he will adopt his earlier policies of cider and bad pornography once more! :P
Fortunately, this brings world peace as everyone is too drunk to fight. :P
Unfortunately Bob and the level 9 cleric (Now level 99) from the start of this weird adventure are resurrected and hatch an evil plan to make everyone in the world sober again.
Fortunately they are stopped by the aforementioned bad pornography. :P
Unfortunately, bad pornography.
Fortunately, someone burns the bad pornography and replaces it with the good sort.
Unfortunately it still breaks the T&Cs.
Fortunately someone creates an 18+ Exilian.
Unfortunately, it's totally swamped by bad pornography.
Fortunately there is plenty of cider to drown your sorrows!
Unfortunately, it's really armadilloty cider.
Fortunately it still drowns your sorrows.
Unfortunately, one of my sorrows survives and takes me to court for endangering its life recklessly.
Fortunately you win the case.
Unfortunately the legal fees plunge me into crippling debt.
Fortunately you start selling armadilloty cider to get back onto your feet.
Unfortunately I thereby end up ruling a shady 1930s style alcohol smuggling outfit and generally being a hard-boiled criminal type.
Fortunately because of it, you become very rich.
Unfortunately, Othko steals all my money.
Fortunately you feel morally better without your illegally gained money and give your alcohol smuggling operation over to me.
Unfortunately, the alcohol smuggling operation was under investigation just when I left it so GMD ends up taking all the blame.
Fortunately GMD hires the best lawyer in the city to protect him.
Unfortunately, the lawyer in question is Pentagathus.
Fortunately he is King of the Wibulnibs, adding legitimacy to the case.
Unfortunately Wibulnubniblian law, in which he is well versed, only consists of the phrase "No Marcuses Allowed".
Fortunately, this proves to be the pivot point of the case.
Unfortunately, the case is a literal one, and it pivots in the wrong direction, giving Pentagathus concussion.
Fortunately, Pentagathus recovers quickly because he has a very thick skull.
Unfortunately, his rage is great and terrible and he rushes off to find and slay the Slightly Pink Dragon of Webbington, who he believes is responsible for this calamity.
Fortunately, the Slightly Pink Dragon of Webbington is already dead, saving the world from unneeded bloodshed. (Hehehe, that rhymes.)
Unfortunately, the people of Webbington are now involved in blood feuds over the Pink Dragon's hoard of bottle caps.
Fortunately, Preston is keeping them busy with settlements that need saving, so they have no time to fight.
Unfortunately, ducks, ducks everywhere.
Fortunately, the ducks start killing each other in a real life recreation of Duck Game.
Unfortunately, someone makes huge amounts of money filming this and streaming it on the web and then uses that money to launch a bid for world domination.
Fortunately this attempt is thwarted.
Unfortunately, it was thwarted mainly by someone blowing up the world.
Fortunately there's still enough of it left...
Unfortunately, all there's enough of it left for is living and farming fungi in caves below the barren and irradiated surface.
Fortunately, nature is adaptable...
Unfortunately, lemurs are not.
Fortunately, the bats mutated into sapient creatures and built a nature reserve for them...
Unfortunately, the bats, whilst generally good nature conservationists, viciously disliked humans and started killing them off.
Fortunately, this saved a lot of other species from extinction, by removing the human threat from the equation...
Unfortunately, the other species did not have much idea of how to protect earth when the MIGHTY MUSHROOM OF MUNDIFRON invaded.
Fortunately, the Collective Consciousness of the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron (CCMMM) decided the Earth was not worth staying there and moved on to invade another planet instead.
Unfortunately, that planet was Skaro, leading to a mass exodus of fleeing Daleks.
Fortunately, the Doctor was at hand to save people.
Unfortunately, thanks to BBC budget cuts, he only had two spoons, a piece of string, and a small bag of tangerines with which to do so.
Fortunately, being the doctor, he made this work...
Unfortunately, I can't really think of any more misfortunes, and there's only two of us doing this so I always have to do the unfortunate bits :/
Fortunately, there would be an option to move to round two, where maybe more people could join in...
Unfortuantely, a wild tusky appears
Fortunately, such wildlife lead to more variety... :)
Unfortunately Jubal missed his chance to post his first fortunate thing since page 8
Fortunately the handsome newcomer appeared to take Jubal's fortunately spot :-)
Unfortunately for the newcomer, he was not the only one messing with the universe... :P
Fortunately, those who mess with the universe believe, on occasion, in second chances :)
Unfortunately, most miss their second chances and only realise when it's too late...
Fortunately, a kindly be-tusked passer by was available to point this fact out
Unfortunately, the tusked passer by was forced to flee from vicious ivory hunting wibulnibs shortly thereafter.
Fortunately, he was part of a species not yet close to extinction...
...unfortunately, the fate of his species was not his primary concern as the wibulnibs closed to within poke-with-a-pointy-stick range.
Fortunately, a passing taxi's driver who was particularly enterprising successfully persuaded the wibulnibs to take a lengthy fare to Hyde Park in London, where they had a lovely day out and visited Buckingham Palace.
Unfortunately, that day ended with Britain leaving the EU, the pound and economy collapsing and half of London catching on fire...
Fortunately, the ensuing mess led the rest of Europe to come to terms on all their other issues, ushering in a new reign of peace and harmony as everyone was desperate not to end up like Britain had.
Unfortunately the Wilnubs, who had been somewhat singed by the "great fire of London 2", became enraged and launched an invasion of Greenland in an attempt to annexe it in the name of wibulnibia
Fortunately, it was Greenland so a) almost nobody particularly cared and b) most of the Wibulnibs ended up as polar bear food.
Unfortunately, they proved to not be very good food and the polar bears all got very bad stomach ache from eating them all...
Fortunately a generous arctic pharmacist was on hand to provide them with his newest invention: Polar bear Rennie tablets
Unfortunately, they were pharmacists, so this life-saving drug was sold to the polar bears at exorbitant prices and the fish market collapsed...
Fortunately, the fish market collapsing led to a fish stocks recovery, so the polar bears could go back to eating fish again.
Unfortunately, such a one sided diet is bad for your health...
Fortunately, you are not a polar bear.
Unfortunately, I am not a polar bear... :'(
Fortunately, we think you're great even without being in the form of three hundred kilos of fur-covered hunting power :)
Unfortunately, I don't have a comback to that...
Fortunately you think of something to say at the last moment. A scientist who happened to be recording the utterance is moved to shed a single tear, and share the video with some friends. It's so powerful that rapidly spreads. The same day it gets broadcast worldwide on television and radio.
People stop what they are doing to listen to the broadcast, and everyone is changed for the better. People that were enemies become friends. World leaders unite on the issue of climate change and work together to fix the problems. People destined for a life of crime change their ways for good, and animal cruelty becomes a thing of the past.
Unfortunately, SUDDENLY WASPS. WASPS EVERYWHERE. GIANT WASPS, SMALL WASPS, ALL THE WASPS. EVERYWHERE. NOWHERE IS SAFE FROM THE WASPS.
Fortunately, as it turns out, I am the Queen of Wasps...
Unfortunately, the wasps have discovered revolutionary communism.
Fortunately the wasps leave the job of setting up their communist revolution to a rather stupid wasp called Clive. He misunderstands what he is supposed to be doing so instead sets up a hippy commune. It turns out the wasps rather like it though, so they all sit around playing bongos with other insects, eat funny brownies and say "far out" at things.
Unfortunately, nobody remembered to legalise weed so now the wasps are all criminals in the eyes of the law.
Fortunately, this is not news to them, as they've been persecuted by humanity since those apes arrived on the planet, so, they're used to it and don't really care... :P
Unfortunately, this time the police decide to get serious, re-allocate all their resources to prosecuting wasps, and no longer spend any time on humans, leading to a massive crime wave.
Fortunately, this resulted in a closeted mad scientist to fulfill her super villain plan and finally build that machine that turns all humans into trees, and she single handedly saved the environment and the wasps... :P
Unfortunately, the trees objected to having to put up with humans among their number, and went on strike.
Fortunately, that strike meant that the scientist's machine would no longer work properly and the humans reverted to their old squishy skin and bone selves again. Angered, they threw the scientist in jail
Unfortunately, the scientist snuck one thing into jail. A spore, a single spore.
But a spore from...
THE
MIGHTY
MUSHROOM
OF
MUNDIFRON!
Fortunately, this minor setback has not deterred me from seeking the destruction of the human race...
Unfortunately, I've got quite fond of humanity. Some of my best friends are humans.
Fortunately, some aren't. Which means you'll still have some friends left when Caradìlis achieves her goals.
Unfortunately, it may still take me a while...
Fortunately humanity has the MIGHTY MUSHROOM OF MUNDIFRON.
I heard someone once touched it and instantly became insane
Unfortunately, humanity is now all consumed with love for the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron.
(I hear its spores are insured for ten thousand dollars. And it does car commercials. In Japan.)
Fortunately, I have run into a big problem today and don't even have time to make a snarky comment about that reference...
Unfortunately, I imagined a snarky comment that was quite cutting. It made my monacle drop into my tea. The plop noise startled my cat who will for some minutes be hidden beneath my armoire
Fortunately, the fact the cat is hidden under the armoir means that it cannot catch and disembowel Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse, and the bird is thus able to deliver you an important letter.
Unfortunately, that letter carries the news of a dead loved one...
Fortunately, the one was actually only loved by Herbert, and Herbert's an ass.
Unfortunately Professor McBlusterfluff also trained the Titmouse to speak. It sees that you aren't that bothered at the news, so explains how misunderstood Herbert was. After extolling his virtues, you become sad
Fortunately, Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse is also an excellent comedian, and cheers you up again soon afterwards.
Unfortunately, the Ghost of Herbert cannot bear to see people having a grand ol' time so soon after his premature demise and comes back to haunt everyone...
Fortunately, realising that there is something wrong in the neighbourhood, Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse calls GHOSTBUSTERS!
Unfortunately, those guys are pretty incompetent...
Fortunately, as bumbling but loveable hollywood heroes/heroines (depending on whether original or reboot), they win and remove the ghost anyway through the sheer inexorable power of the plot.
Unfortunately, once the ghost of Herbert is successfully removed - you remember about his misunderstoodness and go sad again
Fortunately, at this point the fire nation invades, meaning nobody needs to worry about more minor emotional responses.
Unfortunately that is an unfortunate eventuality
Fortunately, the fire nation is no match for Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse...
Unfortunately, George RR Martin had killed him off off screen...
Fortunately, George RR Martin is also no match for Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse.
Unfortunately, as always, you are highly underestimating George RR Martin...
Fortunately whilst Mr Martin and the titmouse are squabbling and attempting to outwit eachother, a group of otters playing in a stream enthralls the fire nation with their cuteness. In an attempt to get close to the otters the fire nation becomes.... extinguished
Unfortunately, we are now under the rule of the otters.
Fortunately, otters are very benevolent - and fluffy - rulers...
Unfortunately, we're about to run out of fish...
Fortunately the otters are not as stupid as humans are about climate change and take countermeasures, repopulating the seas and rivers with the respective resident species...
Unfortunately, the fish, thriving and plentiful as they are, are starting to get ideas...
Fortunately, their ideas are mostly in the fields of abstract philosophy and modern art, so nobody really notices.
Unfortunately one of them subsequently came up with Fish-Freudianism...
Fortunately, fish-Freud never wrote its work down because the paper got wet.
Unfortunately, he told some of the land creatures and they were all fans of his stupid ideas... Now all animal students have to study the Fishdipal complex, as if it's anything other than scarab food...
Fortunately, the study of psychology and related fields was banned by the Otter Emperor for being boring.
Unfortunately, severe, crippling depression now runs rampant among man and otter alike...
Fortunately, meh, who cares, the world is an uncaring void anyway
Unfortunately, the world is an uncaring void and everyone's busy squabbling, while our planet is dying and our future is lost...
Fortunately things that are lost, can be found. Like when you misplace your phone for a bit - but you can give it a ring from another phone and hey presto: found.
Unfortunately, I called my future and it picked up saying: "Thank you for calling the Apocalypse, this is Climate Change speaking, how may I ruin your day?"
Fortunately, you have an excellent phone plan and paid very little for phoning forwards in time.
Unfortunately, you got wiretapped by the CIA.
Fortunately, the CIA already got bored listening to me and my brothers planning bombings and killer virus epidemics, so they don't really bother listening anymore...
Unfortunately, this means their attentions are elsewhere.
They uncover what they perceive to be a nefarious a plot by some clowns to defraud the circus they work for, but is actually a simple plan to give sweets and toys to the children at their next performance. They wrongfully arrest the clowns, along with some potential accomplices working at the circus. The evening's performance is reduced to featuring one lonely trapeze artist and Keith the horse riding juggler.
They struggle to win over the crowd.
Fortunately, Keith the horse riding juggler spots his chance, gets the trapeze artist onto his horse, and they ride out of town together before the crowd can pelt them with rotten eggs and tomatoes.
Unfortunately, they didn't look where they were going and went straight over a cliff...
Fortunately, I cast feather fall and they got to the ground safely.
Unfortunately, an army of jotuns on a drinking spree runs past and accidentally tramples everyone to death...
Fortunately, their drinking spree means that THE MIGHTY THOR can defeat them all whilst they are drunk, saving the rest of the world from the giants.
Unfortunately, Odin was not on bord with genocide and kicks Thor out of Asgard...
Fortunately, this is a great plot hook for a story and leads to a hugely successful comic, novel and movie franchise.
Unfortunately, Thanos comes along and kina ruins everything for everyone...
Fortunately, Thanos has no power outside of Marvel properties, and Exilian has not been bought out by Marvel...
Unfortunately, this means that Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse will never get her own Superhero Movie...
Fortunately, she may yet become the protagonist of a bestselling novel :)
Unfortunately, she has her moment of glory stolen by another mouse-like character in a different bestselling novel...
Fortunately, a titmouse is a kind of bird, not a kind of mouse :P
Unfortunately, this witch does not google things before she opens her mouth, which ends in many a mishap that eventually lead to WWIV (not claiming ownership over WWIII, pretty sure the Americans will take care of that one before I get there...)
Fortunately, as the old adage says, WWIV will be fought with sticks and stones, and as another adage says, those can break bones but are usually non-fatal, so the whole thing is fairly anticlimactic.
Unfortunately, I now have a very terrible song stuck in my head and can no longer be productive at anything, thanks.
Fortunately, this means you can't produce WWIV :)
Unfortunately, my plans of preventing WWIII from happening, have also been thwarted...
Fortunately, WWIII is stopped anyway when everyone discovers a new purpose, a new goal in life. A new source of worship, wisdom, and power.
Is it a deity? Is it a great leader? Is it the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron?
If you guessed c you were right, it is absolutely the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron.
Unfortunately, the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron is only interested in bringing about the apocalypse, so that's not very helpful...
Fortunately that's a mistranslation in the Holy Spore Book of Mundifron. The mushroom is actually interested in bringing about the alpacalypse, which is much fluffier.
Unfortunately, dying of fluff is still dying
Fortunately, biospheres containing earth's species and life get to escape the alpaca takeover, piloted deep into space.
Unfortunately, now space is contaminated with the worst disease imaginable: humanity...
This thread almost inevitably ends up with an apocalypse, or how humanity is fundamentally doomed... whilst that is depressing and perhaps true, it's a fairly boring thing to follow on from.
Fortunately Tusky does so anyway, by using randomness. The Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron releases a tabloid newspaper column called "all my spores".
Unfortunately, it gets very bad reviews.
Fortunately, the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron doesn't bother with the opinions of peasants...
Unfortunately, the Mushroom's followers get cross on its behalf.
Fortunately it's followers are all Wilnubs who are currently all tied up with protecting a remote hill from attack on behalf of Caradrilis
Unfortunately, there are ALWAYS MORE WIBULNIBS
ALWAYS
ALWAYS
Fortunately, I can be very persuasive, and just hire them too to protect my hill...
Unfortunately, wibulnibs make terrible minions and spend most of their time stealing your potion kit to make bootleg cider.
Fortunately, they do generously share, and I don't mind getting drunk every once in a while ...
Unfortunately, it's really poor quality cider and makes humans sick.
Fortunately, my humanity is still in question.
Unfortunately a drunken wibulnib takes up residence in that walls of your bedroom, and keeps you awake with noisy swilling noises and belching. Your home also develops a distinct aroma of burps, sour cider and wibulnib droppings
Fortunately, the drunken wibulnib is called Parthenax, which is a cool name.
Unfortunately for the wibulnib, Bethesda has decided this is to close to Parthurnax and smite him with copy-right infringement
Fortunately, Parthenax has absolutely no money or possessions on account of being a wibulnib, and is not under human jurisdiction on account of not being a human, so Bethesda has no power here.
Unfortunately, they have the power of postponing TES6, so Parthenax now has a lot of eager video gamers hunting him down...
Fortunately, video gamers are mostly pretty bad at hunting things in the real world, and end up trying to work out how many skill points they need and discovering that pickpocketing police officers or walking into people's houses and takign their stuff "for the quest" has consequences.
Unfortunately, a handful that are aware of the consequences decide to take action anyway.
Fortunately, those ones mostly end up training themselves to a high standard in many things, and being put to use as a new force of heroes to protect the planet from EVIL DOOM.
Unfortunately whilst EVIL DOOM is busy being thwarted, some KITTEN DOOM is given leave to sneak in whilst nobody is paying attention. A post office in Harrogate is filled with cute fluffy kittens distracting the staff and rendering it completely inoperable.
Fortunately the post office in Harrogate, had it been operating, would have handled a pipe bomb intended to be sent to a primary school. As it was inoperable, the pipe bomb was left in the mail van for the night, ultimately obliterating the van but with no further casualties.
Unfortunately the van was also carrying a book about science headed to a scientist that would have told him how to complete his tricky experiments. As a result of not receiving the book the scientist tried to use guess work. This failed, and the experiments went wrong. Instead of inventing a top grade scientific discovery, he made a petri dish go poof in a puff of black smoke. It left a sooty mark all over his face and moustache, and cracked a lens on his glasses
Fortunately, the cracked lens on his glasses implanted an idea into his mind and led to him realising something about the fundamental nature of Space and Time.
Unfortunately he did not write his realisation down before a mysterious space time event happens in his laboratory, causing him to never be seen again
Fortunately, this prevented him killing a butterfly in the palaeolithic which, had it not survived, would've led to the rise of an evil badger-mongoose overlord who would destroy human civilisation in 2021.
Unfortunately the butterfly's survival instead leads to the rise of a passive aggressive hamster overlord in 2021. It doesn't destroy civilization, but makes things rather difficult since it's tough to determine what it actually wants
Fortunately Professor McBlusterFluff's Highly Trained Titmouse is an excellent interpreter, and the hamster overlord proves a surprisingly capable and wise ruler once you can get past the sarcasm.
Unfortunately, a recent, sudden and devastating cow plague changes the course of events. :moo: :moo:
Fortunately, Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse is also trained to speak cow.
Unfortunately it can only say "All cows are jolly great nincompoops" causing them to be rather cross
Fortunately, a cross cow is not capable of particularly rational thought.
Unfortunately, a ton of angry cow doesn't need rational thought to make its feelings clear.
Fortunately, a ton of angry cow is removed for relying on pre-decimal measurement.
Unfortunately, another (perhaps slightly less heavy and more metric) cow is enraged by the removal of its friend.
Fortunately Gary, the bos whisperer is on hand to soothe and calm the bovine threat
Unfortunately, Gary now has a cow army.
Fortunately he will only ever use his cow force for good. Like helping nuns reach their milk quotas
Unfortunately, there are now a lot of nuns with unexpected spare time, which some of them will use for nefarious deeds.
Fortunately, a nun's idea of nefarious deeds is mainly limited to leaving the lid off the jam and borrowing Maureen's knitting needles without asking her first.
Unfortunately, Maureen needed her needles to fight off the minions of galactic warlord Zircon the Dark and save the earth.
fortunately, the minions of galactic warlord Zircon the Dark are allergic to lavender room spray, and Maureen still has plenty of that
Unfortunately the brand Maureen is widely known to cause cow-rage. Gary is helpless as his vast cow army charges in to battle the minions of Zircon the Dark. A vast and epic pitched conflict ensues with poor old Earth caught in the middle.
Fortunately Zircon the Dark doesn't want to destroy the earth. He keeps his rare bottlecap collection there.
Unfortunately Zircon the Dark's Rare Bottle Cap Collection is so rare and excellent that it is wanted by bounty hunters from across many galaxies, all of whom simultaneously converge on Earth.
Fortunately the bounty hunters are all the same size, colour and shape as blades of grass. The cow army gleefully gobbles them up, before dispersing to pursue different cow-ly duties
Unfortunately, RAZOR SNAILS
fortunately, the razor snails turned out to be from the Inter-Galactic League of Rare Bottle Cap Collection Protectors, and therefore not out to cause harm to the innocent
Unfortunately, they do cause harm to the guilty and as we are all guilty of murdering this planet, we are still in graaaave danger...
Fortunately, most of us didn't intend to murder the planet, we just did it passively, so our sentence will be downgraded to manslaughter of the planet.
Unfortunately whilst in prison a riot breaks out amongst the imprisoned population of Earth. An imprisoned judge and jury are assembled to pass judgement on everyone else and they agree to add a few years to the sentence.
Fortunately, the prison is the worst possible habitable place the intergalactic federation could think of to send us, a dying planet being choked by its own population, mostly covered in potentially lethal fluids, with vast wastelands uninhabitable due to extreme conditions and only a few fringe areas with satisfactory conditions to keep us all in, many of us living in cramped and inhumane conditions with poor sanitation and lack of basic services. We are condemned to this prison, called "Earth", for many, many years to come. Welcome home.
Unfortunately, while in space prison, the population of earth developed a taste for a certain kind of fruit that only grows on mars. In order to satisfy our cravings, earth becomes entangled in a bitter trade war with pluto over who gets access to the fruit.
Fortunately, the trade war was resolved rapidly after someone realised that the British had accidentally been left in charge of negotiations, which were then given to Uruguay to do instead and were sorted in a couple of weeks.
Unfortunately the negotiations were resolved so rapidly because Uruguay made serious compromises about quality and cost. Earth is left with fruit that is a little too expensive and fails to hit the spot quite like it used to.
Fortunately, The Spot was quite tired of being pelted with fruit all the time, and welcomes the break.
Unfortunately, The Spot now has the mental and physical energy to take up Extremely Speculative and Vaguely Freudian Philosophy, and becomes convinced that he is, in fact, the Ubermensch's mother-in-law, and that it is his duty to bake everyone scones. the world is snowed under with so many scones that all transport systems on earth fail simultaneously, causing chaos and economic meltdown.
Fortunately, it does on the other hand solve world hunger.
Unfortunately, only for as long as the scones last
Fortunately, The Spot is happy to make more scones.
Unfortunately, it's lost some of the passion it once or scone making, and the new batch is quite lacklustre
Fortunately, lacklustre scones are a prized delicacy on other planets, so we can start an export business.
Unfortunately they are a prized delicately due to their scarcity. Our aggressive export trade floods the market, causing the price to plummet. Earth is left with massive debts from the purchase of unsold scone ingredients
Fortunately, we here end the galactic politics narrative to zoom in on the life of Zombie William Wilberforce, the famous undead anti-slavery campaigner.
Unfortunately, Zombie Will begins his career impoverished as a result of the Galactic Scone Crisis, and has to hand out pamphlets written by hand on paper bags
Fortunately the paper bags are a huge success - as people start using his bags for general every day use. It makes his campaign more effective than he could have possibly hoped spreading his message far and wide. Slavery is abolished. War is ended. 3 day working weeks are introduced and everyone gets given free ice creams on Saturday.
Unfortunately, jealous of our success and happiness, Zircon the Dark invades the Earth with an army of mechanised attack teapots. Not only that, but they're plastic teapots.
Fortunately, due to a terrible misunderstanding of Earth surface conditions in Zircon's military design department, the plastic melts on contact with boiling water, so the teapots are useless, and the invasion is immediately defeated.
Unfortunately, nobody trusts teapots any more all the same.
Fortunately, this means that when the Great Teapot Uprising comes, people are prepared, rather than taken by surprise.
Unfortunately, the brutal reprisals lead to the creation of an oppressed teapot underclass.
Fortunately their figurehead teapot: Percival Pumkinpants III is about as effective as a chocolate teapot at orchestrating uprisings - however quite good at gaining equality for oppressed underclasses.
Unfortunately witnessing teapots gain their rights- while they themselves are still ignored- provokes the sadly underrepresented teacups and mugs to armed rebellion
Fortunately, as each of them only has one arm and it's permanently fixed to their side, armed rebellion is not their forte.
Unfortunately, whilst attempting to rebel, quite a few of them slip down drains and cause blockages which causes a few puddles and leaks that are a frightful nuisance
Fortunately, among the leaks there is a leak of key information that reveals terrible corruption in the world's governments and forces several corrupt leaders to resign.
Unfortunately the ousted leaders decide to form a new motorbike gang. They take to the roads causing a tremendous racket in all the towns they pass through.
Fortunately, the new government enforces the use of electric eco-friendly vehicles, which are nice and quiet.
Unfortunately, whilst being friendly to the environment, the new vehicles aren't friendly to anyone else, and quietly whisper menacing threats to anyone who tries to drive or go near them
Fortunately, they are speaking Car, and nobody understands them.
Unfortunately, motorbikes know car passably, and also English. They quietly whisper insults to people causing a number of conniptions.
Fortunately, that number is three, and they were all quite unpleasant people to begin with.
Unfortunately, one of those 3 became just that bit too unpleasant as a result of this taunting. He writes a really rather mean message in the dirt of a grubby car, which casts aspersions about it's owner.
Fortunately, he has become so mean that he is blinded by rage, and fails to realise that the car is his own.
Unfortunately he then tries to drive off, and crashes into a bus stop, rendering it out of service for a few days.
Fortunately, the out of service bus stop is rebuilt in a beautiful art deco style and becomes the talk of the neighbourhood.
Unfortunately this once-peaceful village is now flooded with hoards of art-deco-loving tourists and no one can get any rest
Fortunately, this expands the local economy so much that the villagers who wanted rest can afford to sell up and move to a tropical island they bought themselves.
Unfortunately they bought the island from an evil colonialist that had unfairly evicted some natives in order that he could sell it
Fortunately, the villagers have great anti-colonial sentiment and return the land to the natives, creating a nearby floating artificial private island for them to keep living on.
Unfortunately for them, it's made from thrown away plastic, and not very nice to live on
Fortunately, the group of villagers contains a landscape designer, an architect, and a Friendly Mad Genius Scientist who figures out how to turn plastic bottles into soil. They make the artificial island literally the best ever.
Unfortunately, the Friendly Mad Genius Scientist, Professor McBlusterfluff, is KIDNAPPED BY WIBULNIBS
Fortunately the wibulnibs only kidnapped him in order to help them unblock a sink, and release him once done
Unfortunately, the unblocked sink means that the Wibulnibs can now summon the dread Waste Pipe Monsters from their slumberings.
Fortunately, the Dread Waste Pipe Monsters really want more time in bed, and return grumpily to their pipe, after having given the Wibulnibs a good telling off for waking them up.
Unfortunately, the dreams of the waste pipe monsters are disturbed and restless tonight...
Fortunately the vibrations caused by his fitfulness is used by a family of mice living on top of an overhanging pipe to lull their fretting babies to sleep instead
Unfortunately the waste pipe monsters are unaware of their good deed, because they can't speak mouse.
Fortunately, great developments are soo made in rge field of inter-species linguistics, allowing mice and sewer pipe monsters to communicate for the first time
Unfortunately, the sewer pipe monsters are horrified by how uncouth and improperly spoken the mice are.
Fortunately, in being horrified so, the sewer pipe monsters burst into a shower of unpleasant smelling sludge
Unfortunately, the sewer is now blocked with unpleasant smelling sludge which is mostly the remains of entirely innocent waste pipe monsters.
Fortunately an altruistic plumber called Pete happens by to clear the blockage for everyone creating a fragrant and pleasant atmosphere for everyone.
Unfortunately, Pete becomes an adored hero for saving everyone from the stench and is then corrupted by power and wealth.
Fortunately his corruption is limited to plumbing, which he knows most about. It manifests itself only in slight increases in taxes on piping and slight increases on waiting times for call outs (which nobody notices since the waits are pretty long anyway)
Unfortunately, this means that the complex piping for Professor McBlusterFluff's latest experiment is entirely impossible to produce and maintain.
Fortunately, the substances leaking from the Professor's pipes mingle to form a miraculous new wonder substance that ends global pink candyfloss shortages by producing whipped sugar from thin air
Unfortunately, this starts to create global air shortages as it takes a lot of air per unit candyfloss created.
Fortunately the sugar rush created in those that eat the candyfloss sends them into a frenzy of productive activity. They plant several fields of new trees that successfully negates the air shortage.
Unfortunately, the trees feel Overworked, creating all that air to satisfy humanity's increasing hunger for candyfloss, but the Tree Unions don't agree with their complaint, leading to tensions in the Tree Socialist Party
Fortunately, this tension creates a host of opportunities for the Squirrel Socialist Party, the Woodpecker Nationalist Syndicate and the Leafcutter Ant Workers Consortium. Their prosperity is a boon to the whole forest.
Unfortunately, the Woodpecker Nationalist Syndicate become expansionist and start attacking the other woodland factions.
Fortunately the other factions had been reading a lot of redwall and animals of farthing wood books, so proved to be effective strategists
Unfortunately they were too strong and the woodpeckers were massacred, becoming a critically endangered species.
Fortunately the new endangered species act has decreed that any endangered species now rules the territory. The woodpeckers are kings now.
Unfortunately, they return and fall yet deeper to their nationalist-expansionist ways and become a brutally oppressive governing minority. Squirrels suffer particularly badly under their rule.
Fortunately, the squirrels are really good at dealing with situations that are nuts (I am not ashamed of this pun and I will not take it back)... They revolt using a new technique called the angry squirrel catapult.
Unfortunately, angry birds sues them for copyright infringement.
Fortunately the birds have no money so the lawyers are forced to take a settlement of a few sacks of pine cones, acorns and assorted leaves and droppings
Unfortunately, the birds are unwilling to settle and start a full on bird on squirrel war.
Fortunately, the Highly Trained Titmouse is brought in as a negotiator, and does remarkably well in encouraging them to reach a peace treaty.
Unfortunately, the birds blow up the negotiations, with the help of some Phoenix guy called Fawkes...
Fortunately, they "blow up" the negotiations in the sense that they turn them into a tremendous party, to celebrate the new peace treaty. DJ Fawkes gets everyone up and dancing, even Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse.
Unfortunately, Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse causes some resentment due to its high training allowing it to absolutely own every dance-off it gets involved in.
Fortunately as this forest-wide party is going on, a group of greenpeace activists happens by. They see how the Squirrel Socialist Party, the Woodpecker Nationalist Syndicate, the Leafcutter Ant Workers Consortium, Tree Socialist Party and various guest celebrity birds are getting on so well. Amazed and inspired, they rush off to save an imperilled group of elephants.
Unfortunately, the local dictator imprisons the Greenpeace activists and due to Corona, the organisation has no more funding and can't hire lawyers to get them out.
Fortunately, the formerly imperilled elephants break down the prison and free the activists.
Unfortunately the activists were jaded and angered by their wrongful imprisonment. They forget their previous dedication to animal rights. Being big fans of ancient Carthage, they deck the elephants out with turrets and armor, and go off to battle the local dictator.
fortunately, the local dictator, living in the 21st century, was wildly underprepared for armoured elephants, and despite their lack of military experience, the greenpeace activists suceed in deposing him
Unfortunately, the rejuvenated Greenpeace Empire of Carthage has a dark secret looming at its heart.
Fortunately, the Lower Uxford On The Marsh Girl Scouts are on hand to investigate the dark secret of the Rejuvenated Greenpeace Empire of Carthage and bring it to light
Unfortunately, the Lower Uxford On The Marsh Girl Scouts are demoralised, drunk, and disorderly.
Fortunately, so is the Greenpeace Empire of Carthage. The girl scouts fit in very well and uncover the dark secret!
Unfortunately, the Dark Secret did not want to be uncovered and pulls the duvet back over itself so it can get some more sleep.
Fortunately, the Dark Secret has the full sympathy of humanity, and the UN passes a resolution that it should only have to come to light of its own free will
Unfortunately, the dark secret therefore sleeps through its alarm and fails to do important things it was meant to.
Fortunately, the Dark Secret comes to realise that its worth is not based on sucess or its ability to function normatively
Unfortunately this relisation is quite the burden to bear, so the secret decides to move to a remote house on a Mississipi bayou and spend the rest of it's days whittling little wooden mallards
Fortunately the little wooden mallards grow sapient and go on a zany feelgood adventure with the Dark Secret.
Unfortunately the adventure leads them to confront their one true nemesis: Averagely sized wooden mallards
fortunately, the Dark Secret knows the great weakness of the Averagely sized wollen mallards: Parisian rasberry macarons
Unfortunately, Macron stole the macarons and hid them in Macon in a pile of macaroni.
Fortunately, macarons au macaroni is quite a delicacy in Macon, so the Averagely sized wooden mallards have a lovely time scoffing them with the townsfolk
Unfortunately there was a macarons au macaroni shortage, neither the mallards or townsfolk could scoff any
Fortunately Paul Hollywood happened to be passing through the area and baked them all up an enormous batch
Unfortunately Mary Berry tried one, was not impressed and decided they are not good enough for the mallards or townsfolk
Fortunately, the townsfolk had new alternative entertainment, as Paul Hollywood decided this was a mortal insult and challenged Mary Berry to a BAKE OFF TO THE DEATH.
Unfortunately, bake off to the death is not nearly as thrilling a form of entertainment as the name might suggest, since it takes quite a long time to die from testing too many pies and cakes. The townspeople and the mallards begin to grow restless and throw tomatoes...
Fortunately the contestants decide to abandon their grizzly challenge, and instead start throwing the tomatoes back in a jovial manner. This escalates as more people join in with the throwing. It eventually becomes a tomato based conflict that engulfs the entire town (similar to La Tomatina in Spain), and everyone has a lot of fun.
Unfortunately in amongst all of the fun, so many tomatoes were hurled that the town quickly became flooded in tomato sauce. So, everyone bottled it all and went on a big business scheme that brought huge amounts of money back into the town, they made a rich tomato sauce good enough to sell and became rich too!
Unfortunately, the international tomato-sauce producers federation becomes jealous of the runaway sucess of this new tomato sauce, and
began to draw up dastardly schemes against the town.
Fortunately the town are ready for the dastardly scheme and have already found sellers internationally to sell the last of it to. Everyone has started a brand new idea in the town now. The international tomato-sauce producers federation were happy that the tamato sauce had run out and went back to other dastardly schemes
Unfortunately the wild new financial sucess of this small town has attracted a problem- bandits. Specifically, armed with silly string.
Fortunately, the town was already very silly, and so the silly string has no obvious effect.
Unfortunately, they planned to build a treehouse out of silly string. Everyone climbed into it and of course, all fell out of it. Everyone had several bumps and bruises, instead of enjoying the party.
Fortunately the rapid first response bump and bruise squad was given a lot of work to do. The future of the squad had previously been uncertain, but after proving how effective they were they all had their contracts renewed indefinitely.
unfortunately, the sucession of the rapid response squad made the bandits very jealous - they were formerly the most revered squad of any kind in all of Somewhere That Isn't Spagetti Western Land But Could Be.
Fortunately they turned their jealousy to proactivity, and the silly string wielding bandits decided to make a series of very successful tiktok videos
Unfortunately the very silly tiktok videos aroused the attention of
THE MIGHTY MUSHROOM
OF MUNDIFRON1
1You may have erroneously thought, dear reader, that the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron had disappeared long since from our narrative. How wrong you were, dear reader. How very wrong you were.
Fortunately, at this point, the Mighty Mushroom was mainly interested in what on earth silly string was, as it had never seen such a substance before
Unfortunately, the mushroom's obsession with silly string became all consuming and it was determined to gain itself all the silly string in creation at any cost.
Fortunately, silly string is a phenomenon mostly limited to earth- so on most planets, the Mushroom's demands of TAKE ME TO YOUR SILLY STRING resulted in confused silence, which the Mushroom soon began to find very embarrasing
Unfortunately, the Empathonians of Empathon 5 found the embarrassment of the MMoM to be unbearable, and so set to work on satisfying it's demands. They inadvertently invented the SILLIEST STRING IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE.
Realising what they had created, they decided to invade Earth, knowing it's string to have a far inferior silliness.
Fortunately, on the day the Empathonians of Empathon 5 arrived on Earth there was lots of windy weather forecasts, none of the silly string secured well at all. In fact, all of the silly string was swept up in to the winds making it look like windy noodles.
Unfortunately, the windy noodle storm aroused the attention of other, older, stranger powers.
Fortunately, these older, stranger powers were the Gods of Cookie Rain.
unfortunately, the old, strange gods of cookie rain turned out to be very old and strange, and kept asking for sacrifices of chocolate chips and for their worshipers to speak up, please, and pass the reading glasses.
Fortunately, the people of earth mostly found this endearing and the old, strange gods of cookie rain became the dominant faith, with Mary Berry becoming their high priestess.
Unfortunately, Mary Berry, drunk on power, sacrificed the rest of the Great British Bake Off cast (at least as it was before Channel 4 took it over.)
Fortunately, "sacrifices" to the old, strange gods of cookie rain are just shut in an eternal bake-off tent and are required to make cookies forever.
Unfortunately, they don't get to eat the delicious cookies, only endlessly bake them.
Fortunately they get 99% of their pleasure through smell and the cookies also smell very delicious.
Unfortunately they get the other 1% of their pleasure from the magical essence of the iguana gnomes, and as the iguana gnomes don't actually exist this leaves them permanently 1% dissatisfied.
Fortunately the progress of evolution is magically speeded up by an explosion in one of those Radioactive Factories that Cause Superpowers and Stuff, causing iguana gnomes to spring into existance in less than a week
Unfortunately this explosion also gives rise to a dangerous super villain: Captain iguana giant
Fortunately it's winter and Captain Iguana Giant does not do well in cold weather.
Unfortunately the sufferings of Captain Iguana Giant are greatly distressing to all the smaller iguanas, and they rise up in support of their giant brethren and take controll of a large wool factory in Yorkshire.
Fortunately the old, strange gods of cookie rain, appeased by the existence of the iguana gnomes, decide to bestow their power on a hero who can a save the world from being smothered in an excessively large woolly jumper made by vengeful iguanas.
Unfortunately the cookie rain hero is... the cookie monster. His power & duty to save the world are forgotten in the face of a dangerous cookie addiction.
Fortunately, the Old, Strange Gods of Cookie Rain can lead the Cookie Monster in the right direction with well targeted rains of cookies.
Unfortunately some actual rain began, and continued for so long that everything became flooded
Fortunately this floods out the wool factory owned by the vengeful smaller iguanas (remember those guys?) whose plans to smother the world in a giant woolly jumper are thus finally ended.
Unfortunately there is still quite a disastrous flood going on.
The badgers, squirrels and other assorted wildlife are in a certain amount of peril
Fortunately they can hide.
Hide under what, you ask?
Returning from spores, a fungal canopy so broad it forms a safe place above the waters. A mycelial miracle of life as decay, saving the assorted wildlife from the raging waters.
Is it? Could it really be?
They do not know how it got here, where it came from, or what comes next. They only know that this is...
The
Mighty
Mushroom
Of
Mundifron!
Unfortunately they are do not realise the power of TMMOM, and try to hide under a collapsing building.
Fortunately, the Mushroom stabilises the collapsing building with mycelial strands.
Unforuntately we have forgotten a force that even the mushroom cannot contend with...
Fortunately, that force is gravity, and it operates whether or not we are aware of its existence.
Therefore, unforuntately, the tendrils are not able to withstand the force of gravity
Fortunately, the earth being underneath the mushroom does help hold everything up rather.
Unfortunately whilst the mushroom is safe, the tendrils were off at an angle and could not help some of the building parts bonking some of the animals on the head, who now have sore lumps to deal with
Fortunately Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse is present and is a registered and qualified medical doctor