Exilian

Off-topic and Chatter: The Jolly Boar Inn => General Chatter - The Boozer => Forum Games - The Beer Cellar! => Topic started by: Cuddly Khan on December 10, 2012, 07:49:45 PM

Title: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 10, 2012, 07:49:45 PM: I'm not sure if you all already know how to play this but here goes.

One person say something good happens and the other something bad happens.

eg.
Person 1: Once upon a time there was a princess, unfortunately she was stuck in a tower.
Person 2: Fortunately, one day, a prince came to save her.
Person 3: Unfortunately the prince fell down a hole on the way there and died.
Person 2: Fortunately there were some stairs so the princes could just walk out anyway.

etc.

Ok, so I'll start.

One day Bob was on his way to the pool to have a swim, unfortunately it started raining.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Silver Wolf on December 10, 2012, 08:08:22 PM: Fortunately, Bob slipped, hit his head and then promptly drowned in the pool so the fact that it was raining didn't matter at all to him.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Doomchild on December 10, 2012, 08:10:30 PM: Unfortunately a passing lvl 9 cleric resurrected Bob so he had to deal with the rain after all
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 10, 2012, 08:31:21 PM: Fortunately, the cleric had an umbrella and gave it to Bob, so Bob was better able to deal with the rain.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Silver Wolf on December 10, 2012, 08:38:43 PM: Unfortunately, the umbrella seemed to work perfectly fine at that particular moment.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on December 10, 2012, 09:55:38 PM: Fortunately, the rain stoped after a while, so the umbrella was of no use anymore...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Silver Wolf on December 10, 2012, 10:44:20 PM: Unfortunately, the possibility of Bob's unexpected unnatural death is now a lot smaller.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 11, 2012, 07:08:31 AM: Fortunately, the lvl 9 Cleric leveled up to a lvl 10 Cleric, making the possibility of 'Bob's unexpected unnatural death' much less likely to happen.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 11, 2012, 09:56:47 AM: Unfortunately, a new edition of the Rules That Be was released and clerics got nerfed, making wizards now a far better build.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Silver Wolf on December 11, 2012, 01:23:52 PM: Fortunately, Bob suffers an unexpected cardiac arrest.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Pentagathus on December 11, 2012, 09:22:52 PM: Unfortunately god does exist and he sends Bob to hell for eternal torment. What a alpaca.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 12, 2012, 10:32:09 AM: Fortunately, in Hell, Satan offers him a deal, that if he worked as an agent for him than he could go back into the real world... as a daemon in service of the devil.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Silver Wolf on December 12, 2012, 01:35:51 PM: Unfortunately, he proves to be incapable of such task so the devil rips his soul apart.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 12, 2012, 02:42:59 PM: Fortunately, Bob's friend the cleric (now level 12) reconstructs his soul and resurrects him again.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Silver Wolf on December 12, 2012, 05:00:48 PM: Unfortunately, Bob comes back to life as a horribly degenerated, mewling spawn with almost no signs of rational thought.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 12, 2012, 07:23:40 PM: Fortunately, Bob came back with a very huge urge to kill... everyone... anyone...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on December 15, 2012, 03:14:10 PM: Unfortunately he had forgoten to bring his axe with him.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Silver Wolf on December 15, 2012, 03:46:24 PM: Fortunately, his hands are already disfigured and full of razor-sharp bone outgrowths, so the murders will continue.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: feet on December 17, 2012, 05:32:15 AM: Unfortunately, he's lost.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 17, 2012, 07:02:17 AM: Fortunately, the police caught him and through him in jail.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Silver Wolf on December 17, 2012, 10:08:44 AM: Unfortunately, his lightning fast metabolism allows him to chew through iron bars at the rate of 1 kg per minute.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: feet on December 18, 2012, 09:32:05 AM: Unfortunately, the bar's bronze.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Silver Wolf on December 18, 2012, 09:52:08 AM: Fortunately, that makes it's digestion even faster.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 18, 2012, 10:31:16 AM: Fortunately, the cell Bob is in is also imprisoned in another cell.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on December 19, 2012, 11:01:38 AM: Unfortunately the other cell is unlocked...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 20, 2012, 05:13:06 AM: Fortunately, there are guards...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on December 20, 2012, 09:37:51 PM: Unfortunatlely they are scared so much to act!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 21, 2012, 12:32:21 AM: Fortunately, someone triggers and alarm.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: feet on December 21, 2012, 02:00:48 AM: Unfortunately, the alarm's broken.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 21, 2012, 10:15:41 AM: Fortunately, a guard runs and alerts everyone.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on December 22, 2012, 11:52:49 AM: Unfortunately, Bob had already escaped, and now he's in the alley, next to the prison...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 31, 2012, 12:34:10 PM: Fortunately, the alley has a sandwich shop.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on December 31, 2012, 12:45:18 PM: Unfortunately Bob is allergic to chilly-stuffed sandwiches...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: feet on January 05, 2013, 02:55:13 AM: Fortunately, the shop is on fire, turning the chilly sandwiches into ash.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on January 20, 2013, 03:53:16 PM: Unfortunately, Bob is responsible for that fire...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Scarlet on April 16, 2013, 09:32:15 PM: Fortunately, he loves the bright orange flickery stuff.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on April 30, 2013, 09:44:06 PM: Unfortunately, fire kills. (Stop, drop, and roll, kids)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Scarlet on May 03, 2013, 10:27:57 AM: Fortunately, he becomes one of the (many varieties of) undead.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on May 15, 2013, 06:41:15 PM: Unfortunately, he can't see the sun he so much loved in his real life! (Because the sun would kill our undead Bobby)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Scarlet on May 16, 2013, 04:13:21 PM: Fortunately he had his own polly pocket fusion reactor.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on May 29, 2013, 04:17:26 PM: Unfortunately, it was in his pocket. Which burnt off with the rest of his clothes.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Pentagathus on May 29, 2013, 05:47:32 PM: Fortunately, unbob likes being naked even more than he likes the sun.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Gen_Glory on May 29, 2013, 07:07:01 PM: unfortunately he suffers from porphyria so his skin begins to blister horribly
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on May 30, 2013, 04:16:29 AM: Fortunately, his skin regenerates at the same rate as the blistering.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Scarlet on May 30, 2013, 12:18:31 PM: Unfortunately, this balanced equilibrium can easily be altered by the addition of other sources of electromagnetic radiation.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Phoenixguard09 on May 30, 2013, 03:10:29 PM: Fortunately, Bob can invest in an umbrella, which is quite affordable at this time of year and has been proven to reduce the effects of sunlight upon unprotected ski by up to seventy-eight percent. Or so I have been told.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Pentagathus on May 30, 2013, 08:30:38 PM: Unfortunately, Bob needed to reduce the effects of sunlight on his skin rather than his skis.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on June 02, 2013, 03:01:01 AM: Fortunately he found some sun-lotion, tossed in a trash can (with a high level of skin protection against the dangerous sun-rays!)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 17, 2013, 10:47:20 AM: Unfortunately there was hardly any sun cream left in the bottle, and it barely covered one arm.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Lady Grey on July 17, 2013, 11:36:10 AM: Fortunately, just as he'd used the last of the cream covering just one arm, the sun went in and dark clouds covered the sky.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 17, 2013, 12:10:43 PM: Unfortunately, it started lashing down with rain.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on July 17, 2013, 06:23:55 PM: Fortunately, he had a coat.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 17, 2013, 06:25:20 PM: Unfortunately it didn't have a hood.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on July 17, 2013, 06:34:18 PM: Fortunately he also had an umbrella.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 17, 2013, 08:39:52 PM: Unfortunately it was a sun shade really, so the rain came through.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Scarlet on July 18, 2013, 11:36:29 AM: Fortunately, he also has a wide brimmed hat.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on July 18, 2013, 12:37:42 PM: Unfortunately he left it behind... (It was too heavy [ ;D] for his fragile arms to carry...)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 18, 2013, 01:11:29 PM: Fortunately he had a friend who carried it for him.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on July 18, 2013, 04:22:15 PM: Unfortunately, a bloodthirsty hyena attacked his friend, and ate the hat along with him...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Lady Grey on July 18, 2013, 05:26:23 PM: Fortunately, watching his friend ripped to pieces by a hyena made him forget all about the rain.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 18, 2013, 07:53:21 PM: Unfortunately, the hyena was not satisfied with just his friend.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Lady Grey on July 18, 2013, 08:47:05 PM: Fortunately, Bob was certain he wasn't tasty.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on July 18, 2013, 09:33:10 PM: Unfortunately, Bob's idea was incorrect
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 18, 2013, 11:10:01 PM: Fortunately he was less tasty than the dead zebra nearby.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on July 18, 2013, 11:12:17 PM: Unfortunately, the hyena was still hungry.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on July 18, 2013, 11:33:37 PM: Fortunately Rob could climb trees like a chimpanzee ( ;) Hyenas' can't climb :P )
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 18, 2013, 11:34:56 PM: Unfortunately the tree fell down.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Lady Grey on July 18, 2013, 11:57:50 PM: Fortunately, as it did, it impaled the hyena.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 18, 2013, 11:58:35 PM: Unfortunately, a lion happened upon the scene.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: comrade_general on July 19, 2013, 12:15:29 AM: Fortunately it was the cowardly lion.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 19, 2013, 12:27:52 AM: Unfortunately he'd brought a brave lioness.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Lady Grey on July 19, 2013, 12:39:07 AM: Fortunately, cowardly lion didn't impress the brave lioness at all. Neither did Bob, as she seemed to have very little interest in him.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on July 19, 2013, 07:13:58 AM: Unfortunately, Bob let out a sigh of relief upon realising this and attracted the attention of both lions. The lioness pressures the cowardly lion.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 20, 2013, 05:53:46 PM: Fortunately the cowardly lion is not totally whipped, and so resists the pressure.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Lady Grey on July 20, 2013, 10:41:23 PM: Unfortunately, the cowardly lion thought he might himself have a try at being a fearsome one at that point.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Son of the King on July 21, 2013, 06:57:06 PM: Fortunately, he wasn't very good at being fearsome and did a miaow.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on August 03, 2013, 09:42:56 AM: Unfortunately, he had a 1, 000, 000 man army of Wombats with him.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on August 27, 2013, 10:06:27 PM: Fortunately, Bob slayed them with his smelly breath!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on August 28, 2013, 07:05:19 AM: Unfortunately, they are now zombies so the get back up again and start attacking again.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on August 28, 2013, 05:20:02 PM: Fortunately, zombies are slow moving and cannot easily cross running water.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: comrade_general on August 28, 2013, 05:57:21 PM: Unfortunately these zombies have access to a speedboat.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on August 28, 2013, 07:00:06 PM: Fortunately, zombies cannot drive speedboats.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: comrade_general on August 28, 2013, 08:23:26 PM: Unfortunately these zombies can. :P
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on August 28, 2013, 10:25:53 PM: Fortunately, Bob had an inti-boat gun.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: comrade_general on August 28, 2013, 10:58:28 PM: Unfortunately an -->i<--nti-boat gun is a useless device. :P
^
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on August 29, 2013, 10:44:11 AM: Fortunately there's some of the other variation as well. ;D
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: comrade_general on September 05, 2013, 05:01:04 PM: Unfortunately the zombies are also skilled aviators.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on September 05, 2013, 09:22:52 PM: Fortunately, there are seas creatures to kill them.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: comrade_general on September 05, 2013, 10:07:33 PM: Unfortunately the sea creatures went extinct about 20 minutes ago.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on September 05, 2013, 10:58:31 PM: Fortunately the boat capsized and blew up.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on September 13, 2013, 01:58:50 PM: Unfortunately they had some life jackets and they couldn't perish.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on September 14, 2013, 01:36:27 AM: Fortunately the waters were rapid so they got washed miles away down stream.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on September 14, 2013, 10:31:37 AM: Unfortunately the waters washed miles away Rob, along with the zombie-enemies. They were stuck in a swamp.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on September 15, 2013, 04:24:29 AM: Fortunately the swamp was full of friendly tree Ents.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on October 18, 2013, 12:12:41 PM: Unfortunately, the zombies were still present and enraged!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on October 18, 2013, 11:15:31 PM: Fortunately the tree Ents weren't friendly towards zombies and they smashed them all to mush until none were left.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 19, 2013, 10:19:37 PM: Unfortunately the zombie mush turned out to be flammable and burned the Ents.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on October 20, 2013, 03:28:22 AM: Fortunately there were some cleaners nearby that cleaned up the mess of burned trees and zombie mush..
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on December 10, 2013, 08:47:30 PM: Unfortunately, a huge undead owl appeared and ate the liver outta every one!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 10, 2013, 10:43:51 PM: Fortunately Rob has two livers.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Scarlet on December 12, 2013, 11:40:15 PM: Unfortunately, that does not make him a Time Lord
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 13, 2013, 06:12:13 AM: Fortunately he has 4 hearts, not 2.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on February 08, 2014, 12:41:49 PM: Unfortunately one of them stopped working and exploded in a Portugese way!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 08, 2014, 09:39:45 PM: Fortunately he still has 3 hearts.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Dimos on February 11, 2014, 02:23:31 AM: Unfortunately he has Portugal-heart diseace, which causes them to explode one by one!
Boom! he lost -1 heart (again!) Boom!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 11, 2014, 10:32:15 AM: Fortunately he still has a backup hidden in his brain!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on February 22, 2014, 06:32:21 PM: Unfortunately he can't do the necessary surgery to put his backup in place.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on February 22, 2014, 09:56:39 PM: Fortunately I can!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on February 23, 2014, 01:00:50 PM: Unfortunately Jubal is too far away to save him in time.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: comrade_general on March 15, 2014, 02:41:38 PM: Fortunately Khan is and saves the day.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on March 16, 2014, 01:29:37 AM: Unfortunately I am a very bad brain surgeon and I put the backup in backwards.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: comrade_general on March 16, 2014, 10:22:49 AM: Fortunately none of this means anything because I have no idea what we're talking about.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on March 16, 2014, 07:44:01 PM: Unfortunately, I do...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 07, 2014, 11:58:00 PM: Fortunately, this topic seems to be dying out.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 08, 2014, 12:27:50 AM: Unfortunately, Jubal thinks it fortunate that this topic is dieing out.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Gmd on July 08, 2014, 02:15:03 PM: Fortunately, Jubal has stopped this topic from dying out by posting.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 09, 2014, 12:28:26 PM: Unfortunately, Gmd is trying to kill the top 3 posters of Exilian.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Gmd on July 09, 2014, 01:17:49 PM: Fortunately Gmd shall succeed!!!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 09, 2014, 01:31:55 PM: Unfortunately, they are all trying to kill him too.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Gmd on July 10, 2014, 01:55:08 PM: Fortunately, Gmd has a master plan.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 10, 2014, 06:28:08 PM: Unfortunately, it's GMD's master plan. :P
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 11, 2014, 01:54:38 AM: Fortunately, GMD doesn't know what his master plan actually is.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Gmd on July 12, 2014, 02:25:05 PM: Unfortunately, you are right.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 12, 2014, 05:07:13 PM: Fortunately, everyone has forgotten by now why he needed one.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 13, 2014, 04:24:42 AM: Unfortunately you probably just reminded everyone by posting that.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 14, 2014, 10:19:02 PM: Fortunately, it didn't matter much anyway.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 16, 2014, 03:27:16 AM: Unfortunately, nothing really matters in this thread anyway.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 16, 2014, 10:48:15 AM: Fortunately, the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron matters! :D
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 16, 2014, 02:19:24 PM: Unfortunately, mushrooms mainly grow in dark damp places, such as Wibulnib Empire.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 16, 2014, 11:58:43 PM: Fortunately, Pentagathus can go get them for us.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 17, 2014, 03:09:18 AM: Unfortunately, Pentagathus isn't part of our mushroom cult.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Gmd on July 18, 2014, 03:14:51 PM: Fortunately, Pent can take over your cult with his Wibulnib Empire.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 18, 2014, 03:22:37 PM: Unfortunately, if he did that than he'd go on to take over Exilian.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Gmd on July 18, 2014, 03:30:48 PM: Fortunately, he has attempted that several times and failed. (cringes at flashbacks)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 18, 2014, 03:36:15 PM: Unfortunately, he will never stop trying.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Gmd on July 21, 2014, 02:17:20 PM: Fortunately, you have the power to stop him.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 22, 2014, 06:23:24 PM: Unfortunately, your mother won't let you use that power until you've cleaned your room.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 27, 2014, 05:43:59 AM: Fortunately, you'll be moving out soon.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 30, 2014, 12:20:49 PM: Unfortunately, the housing market is not in a good state.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on July 30, 2014, 08:16:46 PM: Fortunately the tories may lose the next general election and it might get fixed.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Gmd on July 31, 2014, 11:55:53 PM: Unfortunately, i dislike most the others just as much.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on August 05, 2014, 03:35:46 PM: Fortunately, Pentagathus will become dictator pretty soon anyway. :P
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on August 06, 2014, 05:12:44 PM: Unfortunately he will adopt his earlier policies of cider and bad pornography once more! :P
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on August 11, 2014, 11:44:06 PM: Fortunately, this brings world peace as everyone is too drunk to fight. :P
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on August 29, 2014, 09:53:13 AM: Unfortunately Bob and the level 9 cleric (Now level 99) from the start of this weird adventure are resurrected and hatch an evil plan to make everyone in the world sober again.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on November 01, 2014, 03:27:33 PM: Fortunately they are stopped by the aforementioned bad pornography. :P
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 03, 2014, 09:48:18 PM: Unfortunately, bad pornography.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on November 08, 2014, 09:35:46 AM: Fortunately, someone burns the bad pornography and replaces it with the good sort.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on November 11, 2014, 02:16:01 PM: Unfortunately it still breaks the T&Cs.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on November 11, 2014, 10:45:44 PM: Fortunately someone creates an 18+ Exilian.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 04, 2014, 08:08:22 PM: Unfortunately, it's totally swamped by bad pornography.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on December 12, 2014, 10:38:15 PM: Fortunately there is plenty of cider to drown your sorrows!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 18, 2014, 02:11:53 PM: Unfortunately, it's really armadilloty cider.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on December 18, 2014, 03:09:47 PM: Fortunately it still drowns your sorrows.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 18, 2014, 03:16:38 PM: Unfortunately, one of my sorrows survives and takes me to court for endangering its life recklessly.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on December 18, 2014, 03:18:59 PM: Fortunately you win the case.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 19, 2014, 08:21:58 PM: Unfortunately the legal fees plunge me into crippling debt.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 22, 2014, 08:29:03 AM: Fortunately you start selling armadilloty cider to get back onto your feet.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 22, 2014, 10:03:32 AM: Unfortunately I thereby end up ruling a shady 1930s style alcohol smuggling outfit and generally being a hard-boiled criminal type.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on December 30, 2014, 04:57:28 AM: Fortunately because of it, you become very rich.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 03, 2015, 12:31:56 PM: Unfortunately, Othko steals all my money.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Gmd on January 08, 2015, 06:21:04 PM: Fortunately you feel morally better without your illegally gained money and give your alcohol smuggling operation over to me.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 31, 2015, 11:54:06 PM: Unfortunately, the alcohol smuggling operation was under investigation just when I left it so GMD ends up taking all the blame.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on January 23, 2016, 11:40:41 PM: Fortunately GMD hires the best lawyer in the city to protect him.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 24, 2016, 04:25:04 PM: Unfortunately, the lawyer in question is Pentagathus.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on January 24, 2016, 04:56:38 PM: Fortunately he is King of the Wibulnibs, adding legitimacy to the case.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 24, 2016, 05:36:37 PM: Unfortunately Wibulnubniblian law, in which he is well versed, only consists of the phrase "No Marcuses Allowed".
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on January 25, 2016, 08:22:29 PM: Fortunately, this proves to be the pivot point of the case.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 25, 2016, 10:58:10 PM: Unfortunately, the case is a literal one, and it pivots in the wrong direction, giving Pentagathus concussion.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on March 14, 2016, 11:37:17 PM: Fortunately, Pentagathus recovers quickly because he has a very thick skull.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 18, 2016, 01:52:52 PM: Unfortunately, his rage is great and terrible and he rushes off to find and slay the Slightly Pink Dragon of Webbington, who he believes is responsible for this calamity.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 29, 2016, 12:53:33 AM: Fortunately, the Slightly Pink Dragon of Webbington is already dead, saving the world from unneeded bloodshed. (Hehehe, that rhymes.)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 29, 2016, 01:04:42 AM: Unfortunately, the people of Webbington are now involved in blood feuds over the Pink Dragon's hoard of bottle caps.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 29, 2016, 01:49:43 AM: Fortunately, Preston is keeping them busy with settlements that need saving, so they have no time to fight.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 29, 2016, 11:43:16 AM: Unfortunately, ducks, ducks everywhere.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Cuddly Khan on July 30, 2016, 03:25:54 AM: Fortunately, the ducks start killing each other in a real life recreation of Duck Game.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on August 06, 2016, 12:44:06 PM: Unfortunately, someone makes huge amounts of money filming this and streaming it on the web and then uses that money to launch a bid for world domination.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on February 23, 2018, 09:31:33 PM: Fortunately this attempt is thwarted.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on February 24, 2018, 02:50:12 PM: Unfortunately, it was thwarted mainly by someone blowing up the world.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on February 25, 2018, 07:58:22 AM: Fortunately there's still enough of it left...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 03, 2018, 11:32:05 PM: Unfortunately, all there's enough of it left for is living and farming fungi in caves below the barren and irradiated surface.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on March 04, 2018, 07:13:25 AM: Fortunately, nature is adaptable...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 06, 2018, 10:08:22 PM: Unfortunately, lemurs are not.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on March 06, 2018, 11:15:44 PM: Fortunately, the bats mutated into sapient creatures and built a nature reserve for them...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 08, 2018, 05:00:07 PM: Unfortunately, the bats, whilst generally good nature conservationists, viciously disliked humans and started killing them off.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on March 08, 2018, 06:50:45 PM: Fortunately, this saved a lot of other species from extinction, by removing the human threat from the equation...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 18, 2018, 11:05:00 AM: Unfortunately, the other species did not have much idea of how to protect earth when the MIGHTY MUSHROOM OF MUNDIFRON invaded.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on March 18, 2018, 11:49:53 AM: Fortunately, the Collective Consciousness of the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron (CCMMM) decided the Earth was not worth staying there and moved on to invade another planet instead.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 18, 2018, 11:50:33 AM: Unfortunately, that planet was Skaro, leading to a mass exodus of fleeing Daleks.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on March 18, 2018, 11:59:30 AM: Fortunately, the Doctor was at hand to save people.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 18, 2018, 12:31:15 PM: Unfortunately, thanks to BBC budget cuts, he only had two spoons, a piece of string, and a small bag of tangerines with which to do so.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on March 18, 2018, 01:05:34 PM: Fortunately, being the doctor, he made this work...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 31, 2018, 11:36:13 AM: Unfortunately, I can't really think of any more misfortunes, and there's only two of us doing this so I always have to do the unfortunate bits :/
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on March 31, 2018, 12:04:22 PM: Fortunately, there would be an option to move to round two, where maybe more people could join in...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on August 30, 2018, 02:46:40 PM: Unfortuantely, a wild tusky appears
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on August 30, 2018, 03:01:19 PM: Fortunately, such wildlife lead to more variety... :)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on August 30, 2018, 03:47:49 PM: Unfortunately Jubal missed his chance to post his first fortunate thing since page 8
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: beebug_nic on August 30, 2018, 05:15:41 PM: Fortunately the handsome newcomer appeared to take Jubal's fortunately spot :-)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on August 30, 2018, 07:08:38 PM: Unfortunately for the newcomer, he was not the only one messing with the universe... :P
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on September 05, 2018, 10:38:29 PM: Fortunately, those who mess with the universe believe, on occasion, in second chances :)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on September 06, 2018, 04:56:02 AM: Unfortunately, most miss their second chances and only realise when it's too late...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on September 14, 2018, 09:50:58 PM: Fortunately, a kindly be-tusked passer by was available to point this fact out
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on September 26, 2018, 10:53:32 PM: Unfortunately, the tusked passer by was forced to flee from vicious ivory hunting wibulnibs shortly thereafter.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 01, 2018, 05:41:32 PM: Fortunately, he was part of a species not yet close to extinction...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 01, 2018, 06:20:01 PM: ...unfortunately, the fate of his species was not his primary concern as the wibulnibs closed to within poke-with-a-pointy-stick range.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 02, 2018, 06:51:45 AM: Fortunately, a passing taxi's driver who was particularly enterprising successfully persuaded the wibulnibs to take a lengthy fare to Hyde Park in London, where they had a lovely day out and visited Buckingham Palace.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 02, 2018, 07:04:36 PM: Unfortunately, that day ended with Britain leaving the EU, the pound and economy collapsing and half of London catching on fire...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 02, 2018, 08:05:59 PM: Fortunately, the ensuing mess led the rest of Europe to come to terms on all their other issues, ushering in a new reign of peace and harmony as everyone was desperate not to end up like Britain had.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 02, 2018, 08:22:31 PM: Unfortunately the Wilnubs, who had been somewhat singed by the "great fire of London 2", became enraged and launched an invasion of Greenland in an attempt to annexe it in the name of wibulnibia
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 02, 2018, 08:27:06 PM: Fortunately, it was Greenland so a) almost nobody particularly cared and b) most of the Wibulnibs ended up as polar bear food.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 02, 2018, 08:40:59 PM: Unfortunately, they proved to not be very good food and the polar bears all got very bad stomach ache from eating them all...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 12, 2018, 10:35:27 AM: Fortunately a generous arctic pharmacist was on hand to provide them with his newest invention: Polar bear Rennie tablets
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 17, 2018, 09:36:57 PM: Unfortunately, they were pharmacists, so this life-saving drug was sold to the polar bears at exorbitant prices and the fish market collapsed...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 17, 2018, 09:49:01 PM: Fortunately, the fish market collapsing led to a fish stocks recovery, so the polar bears could go back to eating fish again.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 18, 2018, 03:25:30 PM: Unfortunately, such a one sided diet is bad for your health...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 18, 2018, 08:50:38 PM: Fortunately, you are not a polar bear.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 22, 2018, 08:23:09 AM: Unfortunately, I am not a polar bear... :'(
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 22, 2018, 09:13:51 PM: Fortunately, we think you're great even without being in the form of three hundred kilos of fur-covered hunting power :)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 24, 2018, 12:00:00 PM: Unfortunately, I don't have a comback to that...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 24, 2018, 02:13:38 PM: Fortunately you think of something to say at the last moment. A scientist who happened to be recording the utterance is moved to shed a single tear, and share the video with some friends. It's so powerful that rapidly spreads. The same day it gets broadcast worldwide on television and radio.
People stop what they are doing to listen to the broadcast, and everyone is changed for the better. People that were enemies become friends. World leaders unite on the issue of climate change and work together to fix the problems. People destined for a life of crime change their ways for good, and animal cruelty becomes a thing of the past.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 24, 2018, 02:31:47 PM: Unfortunately, SUDDENLY WASPS. WASPS EVERYWHERE. GIANT WASPS, SMALL WASPS, ALL THE WASPS. EVERYWHERE. NOWHERE IS SAFE FROM THE WASPS.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 27, 2018, 05:48:25 AM: Fortunately, as it turns out, I am the Queen of Wasps...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 27, 2018, 12:21:04 PM: Unfortunately, the wasps have discovered revolutionary communism.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 28, 2018, 06:48:54 AM: Fortunately the wasps leave the job of setting up their communist revolution to a rather stupid wasp called Clive. He misunderstands what he is supposed to be doing so instead sets up a hippy commune. It turns out the wasps rather like it though, so they all sit around playing bongos with other insects, eat funny brownies and say "far out" at things.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 28, 2018, 11:21:22 AM: Unfortunately, nobody remembered to legalise weed so now the wasps are all criminals in the eyes of the law.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 28, 2018, 11:34:42 AM: Fortunately, this is not news to them, as they've been persecuted by humanity since those apes arrived on the planet, so, they're used to it and don't really care... :P
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 28, 2018, 11:36:44 AM: Unfortunately, this time the police decide to get serious, re-allocate all their resources to prosecuting wasps, and no longer spend any time on humans, leading to a massive crime wave.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 28, 2018, 06:57:37 PM: Fortunately, this resulted in a closeted mad scientist to fulfill her super villain plan and finally build that machine that turns all humans into trees, and she single handedly saved the environment and the wasps... :P
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 28, 2018, 07:04:58 PM: Unfortunately, the trees objected to having to put up with humans among their number, and went on strike.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 28, 2018, 07:23:04 PM: Fortunately, that strike meant that the scientist's machine would no longer work properly and the humans reverted to their old squishy skin and bone selves again. Angered, they threw the scientist in jail
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 28, 2018, 07:39:38 PM: Unfortunately, the scientist snuck one thing into jail. A spore, a single spore.

But a spore from...

THE

MIGHTY

MUSHROOM

OF

MUNDIFRON!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 28, 2018, 09:49:43 PM: Fortunately, this minor setback has not deterred me from seeking the destruction of the human race...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 28, 2018, 10:10:33 PM: Unfortunately, I've got quite fond of humanity. Some of my best friends are humans.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 29, 2018, 06:25:28 AM: Fortunately, some aren't. Which means you'll still have some friends left when Caradìlis achieves her goals.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 29, 2018, 08:33:26 AM: Unfortunately, it may still take me a while...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on November 20, 2018, 01:37:40 PM: Fortunately humanity has the MIGHTY MUSHROOM OF MUNDIFRON.

I heard someone once touched it and instantly became insane
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 20, 2018, 05:24:58 PM: Unfortunately, humanity is now all consumed with love for the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron.

(I hear its spores are insured for ten thousand dollars. And it does car commercials. In Japan.)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on November 20, 2018, 07:55:15 PM: Fortunately, I have run into a big problem today and don't even have time to make a snarky comment about that reference...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on November 23, 2018, 05:07:27 PM: Unfortunately, I imagined a snarky comment that was quite cutting. It made my monacle drop into my tea. The plop noise startled my cat who will for some minutes be hidden beneath my armoire
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 24, 2018, 11:45:48 AM: Fortunately, the fact the cat is hidden under the armoir means that it cannot catch and disembowel Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse, and the bird is thus able to deliver you an important letter.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on November 25, 2018, 06:54:53 AM: Unfortunately, that letter carries the news of a dead loved one...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 29, 2018, 02:58:31 PM: Fortunately, the one was actually only loved by Herbert, and Herbert's an ass.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on November 29, 2018, 07:22:50 PM: Unfortunately Professor McBlusterfluff also trained the Titmouse to speak. It sees that you aren't that bothered at the news, so explains how misunderstood Herbert was. After extolling his virtues, you become sad
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 09, 2018, 11:02:34 PM: Fortunately, Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse is also an excellent comedian, and cheers you up again soon afterwards.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on December 10, 2018, 08:36:31 AM: Unfortunately, the Ghost of Herbert cannot bear to see people having a grand ol' time so soon after his premature demise and comes back to haunt everyone...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 10, 2018, 09:39:03 AM: Fortunately, realising that there is something wrong in the neighbourhood, Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse calls GHOSTBUSTERS!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on December 10, 2018, 08:38:41 PM: Unfortunately, those guys are pretty incompetent...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 10, 2018, 10:44:18 PM: Fortunately, as bumbling but loveable hollywood heroes/heroines (depending on whether original or reboot), they win and remove the ghost anyway through the sheer inexorable power of the plot.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on December 11, 2018, 04:04:01 PM: Unfortunately, once the ghost of Herbert is successfully removed - you remember about his misunderstoodness and go sad again
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 11, 2018, 08:45:48 PM: Fortunately, at this point the fire nation invades, meaning nobody needs to worry about more minor emotional responses.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on January 12, 2019, 06:20:12 PM: Unfortunately that is an unfortunate eventuality
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 13, 2019, 11:58:11 AM: Fortunately, the fire nation is no match for Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 14, 2019, 09:19:34 AM: Unfortunately, George RR Martin had killed him off off screen...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 14, 2019, 10:17:49 AM: Fortunately, George RR Martin is also no match for Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 14, 2019, 02:24:22 PM: Unfortunately, as always, you are highly underestimating George RR Martin...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on January 14, 2019, 04:10:07 PM: Fortunately whilst Mr Martin and the titmouse are squabbling and attempting to outwit eachother, a group of otters playing in a stream enthralls the fire nation with their cuteness. In an attempt to get close to the otters the fire nation becomes.... extinguished
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 14, 2019, 04:19:42 PM: Unfortunately, we are now under the rule of the otters.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 14, 2019, 09:05:17 PM: Fortunately, otters are very benevolent - and fluffy - rulers...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: justatoady on January 14, 2019, 09:24:03 PM: Unfortunately, we're about to run out of fish...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 15, 2019, 07:02:52 AM: Fortunately the otters are not as stupid as humans are about climate change and take countermeasures, repopulating the seas and rivers with the respective resident species...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: justatoady on January 17, 2019, 04:49:19 PM: Unfortunately, the fish, thriving and plentiful as they are, are starting to get ideas...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 17, 2019, 04:53:12 PM: Fortunately, their ideas are mostly in the fields of abstract philosophy and modern art, so nobody really notices.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 17, 2019, 10:53:05 PM: Unfortunately one of them subsequently came up with Fish-Freudianism...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 17, 2019, 11:03:08 PM: Fortunately, fish-Freud never wrote its work down because the paper got wet.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 18, 2019, 08:27:32 AM: Unfortunately, he told some of the land creatures and they were all fans of his stupid ideas... Now all animal students have to study the Fishdipal complex, as if it's anything other than scarab food...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 18, 2019, 12:30:25 PM: Fortunately, the study of psychology and related fields was banned by the Otter Emperor for being boring.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: justatoady on January 18, 2019, 03:30:32 PM: Unfortunately, severe, crippling depression now runs rampant among man and otter alike...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 18, 2019, 05:01:36 PM: Fortunately, meh, who cares, the world is an uncaring void anyway
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 20, 2019, 11:36:34 PM: Unfortunately, the world is an uncaring void and everyone's busy squabbling, while our planet is dying and our future is lost...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on January 21, 2019, 09:14:13 AM: Fortunately things that are lost, can be found. Like when you misplace your phone for a bit - but you can give it a ring from another phone and hey presto: found.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 21, 2019, 11:41:38 AM: Unfortunately, I called my future and it picked up saying: "Thank you for calling the Apocalypse, this is Climate Change speaking, how may I ruin your day?"
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: justatoady on January 21, 2019, 08:03:42 PM: Fortunately, you have an excellent phone plan and paid very little for phoning forwards in time.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 21, 2019, 08:10:27 PM: Unfortunately, you got wiretapped by the CIA.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 21, 2019, 09:12:41 PM: Fortunately, the CIA already got bored listening to me and my brothers planning bombings and killer virus epidemics, so they don't really bother listening anymore...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on January 25, 2019, 08:35:42 AM: Unfortunately, this means their attentions are elsewhere.
They uncover what they perceive to be a nefarious a plot by some clowns to defraud the circus they work for, but is actually a simple plan to give sweets and toys to the children at their next performance. They wrongfully arrest the clowns, along with some potential accomplices working at the circus. The evening's performance is reduced to featuring one lonely trapeze artist and Keith the horse riding juggler.
They struggle to win over the crowd.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 25, 2019, 04:30:07 PM: Fortunately, Keith the horse riding juggler spots his chance, gets the trapeze artist onto his horse, and they ride out of town together before the crowd can pelt them with rotten eggs and tomatoes.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 25, 2019, 04:55:39 PM: Unfortunately, they didn't look where they were going and went straight over a cliff...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 25, 2019, 05:04:01 PM: Fortunately, I cast feather fall and they got to the ground safely.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 25, 2019, 10:55:50 PM: Unfortunately, an army of jotuns on a drinking spree runs past and accidentally tramples everyone to death...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 25, 2019, 10:59:39 PM: Fortunately, their drinking spree means that THE MIGHTY THOR can defeat them all whilst they are drunk, saving the rest of the world from the giants.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 25, 2019, 11:02:58 PM: Unfortunately, Odin was not on bord with genocide and kicks Thor out of Asgard...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 25, 2019, 11:06:52 PM: Fortunately, this is a great plot hook for a story and leads to a hugely successful comic, novel and movie franchise.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 25, 2019, 11:26:35 PM: Unfortunately, Thanos comes along and kina ruins everything for everyone...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 25, 2019, 11:42:10 PM: Fortunately, Thanos has no power outside of Marvel properties, and Exilian has not been bought out by Marvel...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 26, 2019, 02:50:50 PM: Unfortunately, this means that Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse will never get her own Superhero Movie...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 26, 2019, 03:02:43 PM: Fortunately, she may yet become the protagonist of a bestselling novel :)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 26, 2019, 06:03:12 PM: Unfortunately, she has her moment of glory stolen by another mouse-like character in a different bestselling novel...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 26, 2019, 10:35:21 PM: Fortunately, a titmouse is a kind of bird, not a kind of mouse :P
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 27, 2019, 07:07:47 PM: Unfortunately, this witch does not google things before she opens her mouth, which ends in many a mishap that eventually lead to WWIV (not claiming ownership over WWIII, pretty sure the Americans will take care of that one before I get there...)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 27, 2019, 07:18:41 PM: Fortunately, as the old adage says, WWIV will be fought with sticks and stones, and as another adage says, those can break bones but are usually non-fatal, so the whole thing is fairly anticlimactic.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 27, 2019, 07:24:14 PM: Unfortunately, I now have a very terrible song stuck in my head and can no longer be productive at anything, thanks.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 27, 2019, 07:25:29 PM: Fortunately, this means you can't produce WWIV :)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 27, 2019, 07:32:17 PM: Unfortunately, my plans of preventing WWIII from happening, have also been thwarted...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 27, 2019, 07:39:25 PM: Fortunately, WWIII is stopped anyway when everyone discovers a new purpose, a new goal in life. A new source of worship, wisdom, and power.

Is it a deity? Is it a great leader? Is it the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron?

If you guessed c you were right, it is absolutely the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 27, 2019, 07:52:34 PM: Unfortunately, the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron is only interested in bringing about the apocalypse, so that's not very helpful...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 27, 2019, 08:00:53 PM: Fortunately that's a mistranslation in the Holy Spore Book of Mundifron. The mushroom is actually interested in bringing about the alpacalypse, which is much fluffier.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 27, 2019, 08:06:22 PM: Unfortunately, dying of fluff is still dying
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 27, 2019, 08:13:58 PM: Fortunately, biospheres containing earth's species and life get to escape the alpaca takeover, piloted deep into space.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 27, 2019, 11:54:05 PM: Unfortunately, now space is contaminated with the worst disease imaginable: humanity...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on January 28, 2019, 09:31:02 AM: This thread almost inevitably ends up with an apocalypse, or how humanity is fundamentally doomed... whilst that is depressing and perhaps true, it's a fairly boring thing to follow on from.

Fortunately Tusky does so anyway, by using randomness. The Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron releases a tabloid newspaper column called "all my spores".
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 29, 2019, 09:38:55 PM: Unfortunately, it gets very bad reviews.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on January 29, 2019, 10:03:20 PM: Fortunately, the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron doesn't bother with the opinions of peasants...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 29, 2019, 10:10:23 PM: Unfortunately, the Mushroom's followers get cross on its behalf.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on February 08, 2019, 02:57:48 PM: Fortunately it's followers are all Wilnubs who are currently all tied up with protecting a remote hill from attack on behalf of Caradrilis
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on February 08, 2019, 07:52:27 PM: Unfortunately, there are ALWAYS MORE WIBULNIBS

ALWAYS

ALWAYS
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on February 08, 2019, 10:10:09 PM: Fortunately, I can be very persuasive, and just hire them too to protect my hill...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on February 08, 2019, 10:38:18 PM: Unfortunately, wibulnibs make terrible minions and spend most of their time stealing your potion kit to make bootleg cider.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on February 08, 2019, 10:49:16 PM: Fortunately, they do generously share, and I don't mind getting drunk every once in a while ...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on February 09, 2019, 09:30:53 AM: Unfortunately, it's really poor quality cider and makes humans sick.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on February 09, 2019, 07:51:15 PM: Fortunately, my humanity is still in question.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on February 21, 2019, 10:02:44 AM: Unfortunately a drunken wibulnib takes up residence in that walls of your bedroom, and keeps you awake with noisy swilling noises and belching. Your home also develops a distinct aroma of burps, sour cider and wibulnib droppings
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on February 21, 2019, 01:45:02 PM: Fortunately, the drunken wibulnib is called Parthenax, which is a cool name.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on February 21, 2019, 05:37:11 PM: Unfortunately for the wibulnib, Bethesda has decided this is to close to Parthurnax and smite him with copy-right infringement
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on February 21, 2019, 06:03:45 PM: Fortunately, Parthenax has absolutely no money or possessions on account of being a wibulnib, and is not under human jurisdiction on account of not being a human, so Bethesda has no power here.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on February 22, 2019, 12:32:01 PM: Unfortunately, they have the power of postponing TES6, so Parthenax now has a lot of eager video gamers hunting him down...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 08, 2019, 02:16:04 PM: Fortunately, video gamers are mostly pretty bad at hunting things in the real world, and end up trying to work out how many skill points they need and discovering that pickpocketing police officers or walking into people's houses and takign their stuff "for the quest" has consequences.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on March 22, 2019, 12:24:25 PM: Unfortunately, a handful that are aware of the consequences decide to take action anyway.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 22, 2019, 11:09:02 PM: Fortunately, those ones mostly end up training themselves to a high standard in many things, and being put to use as a new force of heroes to protect the planet from EVIL DOOM.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on March 23, 2019, 01:28:53 PM: Unfortunately whilst EVIL DOOM is busy being thwarted, some KITTEN DOOM is given leave to sneak in whilst nobody is paying attention. A post office in Harrogate is filled with cute fluffy kittens distracting the staff and rendering it completely inoperable.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on April 21, 2019, 08:24:39 PM: Fortunately the post office in Harrogate, had it been operating, would have handled a pipe bomb intended to be sent to a primary school. As it was inoperable, the pipe bomb was left in the mail van for the night, ultimately obliterating the van but with no further casualties.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on May 03, 2019, 06:59:38 PM: Unfortunately the van was also carrying a book about science headed to a scientist that would have told him how to complete his tricky experiments. As a result of not receiving the book the scientist tried to use guess work. This failed, and the experiments went wrong. Instead of inventing a top grade scientific discovery, he made a petri dish go poof in a puff of black smoke. It left a sooty mark all over his face and moustache, and cracked a lens on his glasses
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on May 03, 2019, 11:07:55 PM: Fortunately, the cracked lens on his glasses implanted an idea into his mind and led to him realising something about the fundamental nature of Space and Time.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on May 17, 2019, 04:15:35 AM: Unfortunately he did not write his realisation down before a mysterious space time event happens in his laboratory, causing him to never be seen again
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on May 17, 2019, 10:22:11 AM: Fortunately, this prevented him killing a butterfly in the palaeolithic which, had it not survived, would've led to the rise of an evil badger-mongoose overlord who would destroy human civilisation in 2021.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 02, 2019, 09:02:35 AM: Unfortunately the butterfly's survival instead leads to the rise of a passive aggressive hamster overlord in 2021. It doesn't destroy civilization, but makes things rather difficult since it's tough to determine what it actually wants
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 02, 2019, 07:25:12 PM: Fortunately Professor McBlusterFluff's Highly Trained Titmouse is an excellent interpreter, and the hamster overlord proves a surprisingly capable and wise ruler once you can get past the sarcasm.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 07, 2019, 09:27:11 AM: Unfortunately, a recent, sudden and devastating cow plague changes the course of events. :moo: :moo:
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 07, 2019, 12:34:29 PM: Fortunately, Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse is also trained to speak cow.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 07, 2019, 03:15:40 PM: Unfortunately it can only say "All cows are jolly great nincompoops" causing them to be rather cross
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 07, 2019, 03:39:03 PM: Fortunately, a cross cow is not capable of particularly rational thought.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Glaurung on October 08, 2019, 10:25:12 PM: Unfortunately, a ton of angry cow doesn't need rational thought to make its feelings clear.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 09, 2019, 10:57:03 AM: Fortunately, a ton of angry cow is removed for relying on pre-decimal measurement.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Glaurung on October 10, 2019, 09:29:39 AM: Unfortunately, another (perhaps slightly less heavy and more metric) cow is enraged by the removal of its friend.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 10, 2019, 09:49:51 AM: Fortunately Gary, the bos whisperer is on hand to soothe and calm the bovine threat
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 10, 2019, 10:24:41 AM: Unfortunately, Gary now has a cow army.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 10, 2019, 02:08:15 PM: Fortunately he will only ever use his cow force for good. Like helping nuns reach their milk quotas
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 10, 2019, 03:25:26 PM: Unfortunately, there are now a lot of nuns with unexpected spare time, which some of them will use for nefarious deeds.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on October 10, 2019, 06:13:03 PM: Fortunately, a nun's idea of nefarious deeds is mainly limited to leaving the lid off the jam and borrowing Maureen's knitting needles without asking her first.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 10, 2019, 07:14:56 PM: Unfortunately, Maureen needed her needles to fight off the minions of galactic warlord Zircon the Dark and save the earth.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on October 10, 2019, 08:22:43 PM: fortunately, the minions of galactic warlord Zircon the Dark are allergic to lavender room spray, and Maureen still has plenty of that
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 13, 2019, 06:22:46 AM: Unfortunately the brand Maureen is widely known to cause cow-rage. Gary is helpless as his vast cow army charges in to battle the minions of Zircon the Dark. A vast and epic pitched conflict ensues with poor old Earth caught in the middle.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 14, 2019, 01:29:37 PM: Fortunately Zircon the Dark doesn't want to destroy the earth. He keeps his rare bottlecap collection there.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on October 16, 2019, 10:30:52 PM: Unfortunately Zircon the Dark's Rare Bottle Cap Collection is so rare and excellent that it is wanted by bounty hunters from across many galaxies, all of whom simultaneously converge on Earth.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 17, 2019, 06:16:32 PM: Fortunately the bounty hunters are all the same size, colour and shape as blades of grass. The cow army gleefully gobbles them up, before dispersing to pursue different cow-ly duties
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 17, 2019, 11:44:30 PM: Unfortunately, RAZOR SNAILS
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on October 18, 2019, 12:42:23 AM: fortunately, the razor snails turned out to be from the Inter-Galactic League of Rare Bottle Cap Collection Protectors, and therefore not out to cause harm to the innocent
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on October 18, 2019, 09:59:03 AM: Unfortunately, they do cause harm to the guilty and as we are all guilty of murdering this planet, we are still in graaaave danger...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 18, 2019, 10:24:36 AM: Fortunately, most of us didn't intend to murder the planet, we just did it passively, so our sentence will be downgraded to manslaughter of the planet.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 22, 2019, 09:10:54 AM: Unfortunately whilst in prison a riot breaks out amongst the imprisoned population of Earth. An imprisoned judge and jury are assembled to pass judgement on everyone else and they agree to add a few years to the sentence.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 22, 2019, 12:34:06 PM: Fortunately, the prison is the worst possible habitable place the intergalactic federation could think of to send us, a dying planet being choked by its own population, mostly covered in potentially lethal fluids, with vast wastelands uninhabitable due to extreme conditions and only a few fringe areas with satisfactory conditions to keep us all in, many of us living in cramped and inhumane conditions with poor sanitation and lack of basic services. We are condemned to this prison, called "Earth", for many, many years to come. Welcome home.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on October 22, 2019, 02:14:21 PM: Unfortunately, while in space prison, the population of earth developed a taste for a certain kind of fruit that only grows on mars. In order to satisfy our cravings, earth becomes entangled in a bitter trade war with pluto over who gets access to the fruit.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 22, 2019, 02:27:49 PM: Fortunately, the trade war was resolved rapidly after someone realised that the British had accidentally been left in charge of negotiations, which were then given to Uruguay to do instead and were sorted in a couple of weeks.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 23, 2019, 10:50:24 AM: Unfortunately the negotiations were resolved so rapidly because Uruguay made serious compromises about quality and cost. Earth is left with fruit that is a little too expensive and fails to hit the spot quite like it used to.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 25, 2019, 10:30:37 AM: Fortunately, The Spot was quite tired of being pelted with fruit all the time, and welcomes the break.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on October 25, 2019, 10:34:12 PM: Unfortunately, The Spot now has the mental and physical energy to take up Extremely Speculative and Vaguely Freudian Philosophy, and becomes convinced that he is, in fact, the Ubermensch's mother-in-law, and that it is his duty to bake everyone scones. the world is snowed under with so many scones that all transport systems on earth fail simultaneously, causing chaos and economic meltdown.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 26, 2019, 11:10:48 PM: Fortunately, it does on the other hand solve world hunger.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 27, 2019, 06:50:45 AM: Unfortunately, only for as long as the scones last
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 27, 2019, 09:50:17 AM: Fortunately, The Spot is happy to make more scones.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 28, 2019, 02:44:30 PM: Unfortunately, it's lost some of the passion it once or scone making, and the new batch is quite lacklustre
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 28, 2019, 07:41:37 PM: Fortunately, lacklustre scones are a prized delicacy on other planets, so we can start an export business.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 31, 2019, 02:17:41 PM: Unfortunately they are a prized delicately due to their scarcity. Our aggressive export trade floods the market, causing the price to plummet. Earth is left with massive debts from the purchase of unsold scone ingredients
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 31, 2019, 11:52:07 PM: Fortunately, we here end the galactic politics narrative to zoom in on the life of Zombie William Wilberforce, the famous undead anti-slavery campaigner.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on November 13, 2019, 12:37:54 AM: Unfortunately, Zombie Will begins his career impoverished as a result of the Galactic Scone Crisis, and has to hand out pamphlets written by hand on paper bags
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on November 14, 2019, 01:30:22 PM: Fortunately the paper bags are a huge success - as people start using his bags for general every day use. It makes his campaign more effective than he could have possibly hoped spreading his message far and wide. Slavery is abolished. War is ended. 3 day working weeks are introduced and everyone gets given free ice creams on Saturday.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 15, 2019, 09:30:27 PM: Unfortunately, jealous of our success and happiness, Zircon the Dark invades the Earth with an army of mechanised attack teapots. Not only that, but they're plastic teapots.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Glaurung on November 16, 2019, 02:50:34 PM: Fortunately, due to a terrible misunderstanding of Earth surface conditions in Zircon's military design department, the plastic melts on contact with boiling water, so the teapots are useless, and the invasion is immediately defeated.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 16, 2019, 04:15:55 PM: Unfortunately, nobody trusts teapots any more all the same.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on November 17, 2019, 02:47:53 PM: Fortunately, this means that when the Great Teapot Uprising comes, people are prepared, rather than taken by surprise.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 17, 2019, 04:04:15 PM: Unfortunately, the brutal reprisals lead to the creation of an oppressed teapot underclass.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on November 19, 2019, 02:31:39 PM: Fortunately their figurehead teapot: Percival Pumkinpants III is about as effective as a chocolate teapot at orchestrating uprisings - however quite good at gaining equality for oppressed underclasses.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on November 19, 2019, 03:33:58 PM: Unfortunately witnessing teapots gain their rights- while they themselves are still ignored- provokes the sadly underrepresented teacups and mugs to armed rebellion
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 19, 2019, 10:53:46 PM: Fortunately, as each of them only has one arm and it's permanently fixed to their side, armed rebellion is not their forte.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on November 22, 2019, 09:32:15 AM: Unfortunately, whilst attempting to rebel, quite a few of them slip down drains and cause blockages which causes a few puddles and leaks that are a frightful nuisance
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 22, 2019, 02:54:03 PM: Fortunately, among the leaks there is a leak of key information that reveals terrible corruption in the world's governments and forces several corrupt leaders to resign.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on November 23, 2019, 10:36:27 AM: Unfortunately the ousted leaders decide to form a new motorbike gang. They take to the roads causing a tremendous racket in all the towns they pass through.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 23, 2019, 11:24:02 AM: Fortunately, the new government enforces the use of electric eco-friendly vehicles, which are nice and quiet.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on November 26, 2019, 10:53:02 PM: Unfortunately, whilst being friendly to the environment, the new vehicles aren't friendly to anyone else, and quietly whisper menacing threats to anyone who tries to drive or go near them
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 27, 2019, 04:22:30 PM: Fortunately, they are speaking Car, and nobody understands them.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on December 10, 2019, 09:23:36 AM: Unfortunately, motorbikes know car passably, and also English. They quietly whisper insults to people causing a number of conniptions.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 10, 2019, 10:35:05 AM: Fortunately, that number is three, and they were all quite unpleasant people to begin with.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on December 10, 2019, 11:26:56 AM: Unfortunately, one of those 3 became just that bit too unpleasant as a result of this taunting. He writes a really rather mean message in the dirt of a grubby car, which casts aspersions about it's owner.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 10, 2019, 12:39:30 PM: Fortunately, he has become so mean that he is blinded by rage, and fails to realise that the car is his own.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on December 10, 2019, 02:09:45 PM: Unfortunately he then tries to drive off, and crashes into a bus stop, rendering it out of service for a few days.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 10, 2019, 09:17:13 PM: Fortunately, the out of service bus stop is rebuilt in a beautiful art deco style and becomes the talk of the neighbourhood.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on December 13, 2019, 02:44:15 PM: Unfortunately this once-peaceful village is now flooded with hoards of art-deco-loving tourists and no one can get any rest
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 16, 2019, 02:44:16 PM: Fortunately, this expands the local economy so much that the villagers who wanted rest can afford to sell up and move to a tropical island they bought themselves.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on December 17, 2019, 01:49:32 PM: Unfortunately they bought the island from an evil colonialist that had unfairly evicted some natives in order that he could sell it
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 17, 2019, 09:30:11 PM: Fortunately, the villagers have great anti-colonial sentiment and return the land to the natives, creating a nearby floating artificial private island for them to keep living on.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on December 19, 2019, 08:21:49 AM: Unfortunately for them, it's made from thrown away plastic, and not very nice to live on
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on December 19, 2019, 05:05:54 PM: Fortunately, the group of villagers contains a landscape designer, an architect, and a Friendly Mad Genius Scientist who figures out how to turn plastic bottles into soil. They make the artificial island literally the best ever.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on December 20, 2019, 12:48:03 PM: Unfortunately, the Friendly Mad Genius Scientist, Professor McBlusterfluff, is KIDNAPPED BY WIBULNIBS
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on January 01, 2020, 07:36:58 PM: Fortunately the wibulnibs only kidnapped him in order to help them unblock a sink, and release him once done
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 02, 2020, 11:20:25 AM: Unfortunately, the unblocked sink means that the Wibulnibs can now summon the dread Waste Pipe Monsters from their slumberings.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on January 06, 2020, 06:05:06 PM: Fortunately, the Dread Waste Pipe Monsters really want more time in bed, and return grumpily to their pipe, after having given the Wibulnibs a good telling off for waking them up.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 07, 2020, 09:31:28 AM: Unfortunately, the dreams of the waste pipe monsters are disturbed and restless tonight...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on January 10, 2020, 01:50:50 PM: Fortunately the vibrations caused by his fitfulness is used by a family of mice living on top of an overhanging pipe to lull their fretting babies to sleep instead
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 10, 2020, 08:49:45 PM: Unfortunately the waste pipe monsters are unaware of their good deed, because they can't speak mouse.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on January 20, 2020, 10:33:22 PM: Fortunately, great developments are soo made in rge field of inter-species linguistics, allowing mice and sewer pipe monsters to communicate for the first time
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 20, 2020, 11:22:52 PM: Unfortunately, the sewer pipe monsters are horrified by how uncouth and improperly spoken the mice are.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on January 21, 2020, 09:11:24 AM: Fortunately, in being horrified so, the sewer pipe monsters burst into a shower of unpleasant smelling sludge
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 21, 2020, 05:49:01 PM: Unfortunately, the sewer is now blocked with unpleasant smelling sludge which is mostly the remains of entirely innocent waste pipe monsters.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on February 11, 2020, 01:59:00 PM: Fortunately an altruistic plumber called Pete happens by to clear the blockage for everyone creating a fragrant and pleasant atmosphere for everyone.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on February 11, 2020, 02:08:36 PM: Unfortunately, Pete becomes an adored hero for saving everyone from the stench and is then corrupted by power and wealth.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on February 11, 2020, 02:15:39 PM: Fortunately his corruption is limited to plumbing, which he knows most about. It manifests itself only in slight increases in taxes on piping and slight increases on waiting times for call outs (which nobody notices since the waits are pretty long anyway)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on February 11, 2020, 02:17:47 PM: Unfortunately, this means that the complex piping for Professor McBlusterFluff's latest experiment is entirely impossible to produce and maintain.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on February 11, 2020, 09:42:39 PM: Fortunately, the substances leaking from the Professor's pipes mingle to form a miraculous new wonder substance that ends global pink candyfloss shortages by producing whipped sugar from thin air
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on February 11, 2020, 10:12:36 PM: Unfortunately, this starts to create global air shortages as it takes a lot of air per unit candyfloss created.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on February 14, 2020, 10:56:30 AM: Fortunately the sugar rush created in those that eat the candyfloss sends them into a frenzy of productive activity. They plant several fields of new trees that successfully negates the air shortage.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on February 25, 2020, 01:41:01 AM: Unfortunately, the trees feel Overworked, creating all that air to satisfy humanity's increasing hunger for candyfloss, but the Tree Unions don't agree with their complaint, leading to tensions in the Tree Socialist Party
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on March 08, 2020, 12:25:15 PM: Fortunately, this tension creates a host of opportunities for the Squirrel Socialist Party, the Woodpecker Nationalist Syndicate and the Leafcutter Ant Workers Consortium. Their prosperity is a boon to the whole forest.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 17, 2020, 10:38:43 AM: Unfortunately, the Woodpecker Nationalist Syndicate become expansionist and start attacking the other woodland factions.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on March 19, 2020, 04:07:25 PM: Fortunately the other factions had been reading a lot of redwall and animals of farthing wood books, so proved to be effective strategists
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 26, 2020, 03:26:30 PM: Unfortunately they were too strong and the woodpeckers were massacred, becoming a critically endangered species.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on March 26, 2020, 08:33:45 PM: Fortunately the new endangered species act has decreed that any endangered species now rules the territory. The woodpeckers are kings now.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 26, 2020, 08:37:07 PM: Unfortunately, they return and fall yet deeper to their nationalist-expansionist ways and become a brutally oppressive governing minority. Squirrels suffer particularly badly under their rule.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on March 26, 2020, 08:50:45 PM: Fortunately, the squirrels are really good at dealing with situations that are nuts (I am not ashamed of this pun and I will not take it back)... They revolt using a new technique called the angry squirrel catapult.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 27, 2020, 01:08:25 PM: Unfortunately, angry birds sues them for copyright infringement.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on March 27, 2020, 02:48:38 PM: Fortunately the birds have no money so the lawyers are forced to take a settlement of a few sacks of pine cones, acorns and assorted leaves and droppings
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on March 27, 2020, 05:50:47 PM: Unfortunately, the birds are unwilling to settle and start a full on bird on squirrel war.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on March 29, 2020, 10:06:30 PM: Fortunately, the Highly Trained Titmouse is brought in as a negotiator, and does remarkably well in encouraging them to reach a peace treaty.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on March 29, 2020, 11:01:55 PM: Unfortunately, the birds blow up the negotiations, with the help of some Phoenix guy called Fawkes...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on March 30, 2020, 09:11:32 AM: Fortunately, they "blow up" the negotiations in the sense that they turn them into a tremendous party, to celebrate the new peace treaty. DJ Fawkes gets everyone up and dancing, even Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 30, 2020, 10:14:52 AM: Unfortunately, Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse causes some resentment due to its high training allowing it to absolutely own every dance-off it gets involved in.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on April 28, 2020, 09:14:21 AM: Fortunately as this forest-wide party is going on, a group of greenpeace activists happens by. They see how the Squirrel Socialist Party, the Woodpecker Nationalist Syndicate, the Leafcutter Ant Workers Consortium, Tree Socialist Party and various guest celebrity birds are getting on so well. Amazed and inspired, they rush off to save an imperilled group of elephants.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Caradìlis on May 01, 2020, 01:40:42 PM: Unfortunately, the local dictator imprisons the Greenpeace activists and due to Corona, the organisation has no more funding and can't hire lawyers to get them out.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on May 01, 2020, 05:20:23 PM: Fortunately, the formerly imperilled elephants break down the prison and free the activists.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on May 12, 2020, 11:35:31 AM: Unfortunately the activists were jaded and angered by their wrongful imprisonment. They forget their previous dedication to animal rights. Being big fans of ancient Carthage, they deck the elephants out with turrets and armor, and go off to battle the local dictator.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on May 12, 2020, 12:30:05 PM: fortunately, the local dictator, living in the 21st century, was wildly underprepared for armoured elephants, and despite their lack of military experience, the greenpeace activists suceed in deposing him
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on May 12, 2020, 07:16:07 PM: Unfortunately, the rejuvenated Greenpeace Empire of Carthage has a dark secret looming at its heart.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on May 12, 2020, 07:30:23 PM: Fortunately, the Lower Uxford On The Marsh Girl Scouts are on hand to investigate the dark secret of the Rejuvenated Greenpeace Empire of Carthage and bring it to light
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on May 12, 2020, 11:13:13 PM: Unfortunately, the Lower Uxford On The Marsh Girl Scouts are demoralised, drunk, and disorderly.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on May 29, 2020, 07:13:37 AM: Fortunately, so is the Greenpeace Empire of Carthage. The girl scouts fit in very well and uncover the dark secret!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on May 29, 2020, 11:13:35 AM: Unfortunately, the Dark Secret did not want to be uncovered and pulls the duvet back over itself so it can get some more sleep.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on May 29, 2020, 01:42:54 PM: Fortunately, the Dark Secret has the full sympathy of humanity, and the UN passes a resolution that it should only have to come to light of its own free will
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on May 29, 2020, 11:13:13 PM: Unfortunately, the dark secret therefore sleeps through its alarm and fails to do important things it was meant to.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on June 02, 2020, 12:20:22 AM: Fortunately, the Dark Secret comes to realise that its worth is not based on sucess or its ability to function normatively
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on June 22, 2020, 08:39:26 AM: Unfortunately this relisation is quite the burden to bear, so the secret decides to move to a remote house on a Mississipi bayou and spend the rest of it's days whittling little wooden mallards
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on June 22, 2020, 12:51:23 PM: Fortunately the little wooden mallards grow sapient and go on a zany feelgood adventure with the Dark Secret.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on June 25, 2020, 09:36:34 AM: Unfortunately the adventure leads them to confront their one true nemesis: Averagely sized wooden mallards
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on June 26, 2020, 10:19:04 PM: fortunately, the Dark Secret knows the great weakness of the Averagely sized wollen mallards: Parisian rasberry macarons
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 03, 2020, 07:50:58 PM: Unfortunately, Macron stole the macarons and hid them in Macon in a pile of macaroni.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on July 04, 2020, 12:21:58 PM: Fortunately, macarons au macaroni is quite a delicacy in Macon, so the Averagely sized wooden mallards have a lovely time scoffing them with the townsfolk
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Leafly on July 06, 2020, 11:14:32 AM: Unfortunately there was a macarons au macaroni shortage, neither the mallards or townsfolk could scoff any
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on July 08, 2020, 08:57:25 AM: Fortunately Paul Hollywood happened to be passing through the area and baked them all up an enormous batch
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Leafly on July 08, 2020, 09:26:25 AM: Unfortunately Mary Berry tried one, was not impressed and decided they are not good enough for the mallards or townsfolk
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on July 08, 2020, 12:36:31 PM: Fortunately, the townsfolk had new alternative entertainment, as Paul Hollywood decided this was a mortal insult and challenged Mary Berry to a BAKE OFF TO THE DEATH.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on July 11, 2020, 12:19:48 AM: Unfortunately, bake off to the death is not nearly as thrilling a form of entertainment as the name might suggest, since it takes quite a long time to die from testing too many pies and cakes. The townspeople and the mallards begin to grow restless and throw tomatoes...
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on July 14, 2020, 06:51:08 AM: Fortunately the contestants decide to abandon their grizzly challenge, and instead start throwing the tomatoes back in a jovial manner. This escalates as more people join in with the throwing. It eventually becomes a tomato based conflict that engulfs the entire town (similar to La Tomatina in Spain), and everyone has a lot of fun.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Leafly on July 14, 2020, 11:07:24 AM: Unfortunately in amongst all of the fun, so many tomatoes were hurled that the town quickly became flooded in tomato sauce. So, everyone bottled it all and went on a big business scheme that brought huge amounts of money back into the town, they made a rich tomato sauce good enough to sell and became rich too!
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on July 14, 2020, 10:20:33 PM: Unfortunately, the international tomato-sauce producers federation becomes jealous of the runaway sucess of this new tomato sauce, and
began to draw up dastardly schemes against the town.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Leafly on July 15, 2020, 08:43:31 AM: Fortunately the town are ready for the dastardly scheme and have already found sellers internationally to sell the last of it to. Everyone has started a brand new idea in the town now. The international tomato-sauce producers federation were happy that the tamato sauce had run out and went back to other dastardly schemes
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on August 12, 2020, 11:55:14 PM: Unfortunately the wild new financial sucess of this small town has attracted a problem- bandits. Specifically, armed with silly string.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on August 13, 2020, 09:16:11 PM: Fortunately, the town was already very silly, and so the silly string has no obvious effect.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Leafly on August 14, 2020, 09:14:40 AM: Unfortunately, they planned to build a treehouse out of silly string. Everyone climbed into it and of course, all fell out of it. Everyone had several bumps and bruises, instead of enjoying the party.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on August 14, 2020, 10:24:45 AM: Fortunately the rapid first response bump and bruise squad was given a lot of work to do. The future of the squad had previously been uncertain, but after proving how effective they were they all had their contracts renewed indefinitely.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on August 21, 2020, 02:48:53 AM: unfortunately, the sucession of the rapid response squad made the bandits very jealous - they were formerly the most revered squad of any kind in all of Somewhere That Isn't Spagetti Western Land But Could Be.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on August 25, 2020, 11:42:27 AM: Fortunately they turned their jealousy to proactivity, and the silly string wielding bandits decided to make a series of very successful tiktok videos
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on August 25, 2020, 03:42:28 PM: Unfortunately the very silly tiktok videos aroused the attention of

THE MIGHTY MUSHROOM
OF MUNDIFRON¹

¹You may have erroneously thought, dear reader, that the Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron had disappeared long since from our narrative. How wrong you were, dear reader. How very wrong you were.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on August 25, 2020, 05:03:44 PM: Fortunately, at this point, the Mighty Mushroom was mainly interested in what on earth silly string was, as it had never seen such a substance before
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on August 25, 2020, 05:22:25 PM: Unfortunately, the mushroom's obsession with silly string became all consuming and it was determined to gain itself all the silly string in creation at any cost.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on August 25, 2020, 09:27:50 PM: Fortunately, silly string is a phenomenon mostly limited to earth- so on most planets, the Mushroom's demands of TAKE ME TO YOUR SILLY STRING resulted in confused silence, which the Mushroom soon began to find very embarrasing
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on August 26, 2020, 07:23:39 AM: Unfortunately, the Empathonians of Empathon 5 found the embarrassment of the MMoM to be unbearable, and so set to work on satisfying it's demands. They inadvertently invented the SILLIEST STRING IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE.

Realising what they had created, they decided to invade Earth, knowing it's string to have a far inferior silliness.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Leafly on August 31, 2020, 09:11:22 AM: Fortunately, on the day the Empathonians of Empathon 5 arrived on Earth there was lots of windy weather forecasts, none of the silly string secured well at all. In fact, all of the silly string was swept up in to the winds making it look like windy noodles.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 15, 2020, 05:49:37 PM: Unfortunately, the windy noodle storm aroused the attention of other, older, stranger powers.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on October 17, 2020, 09:22:17 PM: Fortunately, these older, stranger powers were the Gods of Cookie Rain.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on October 17, 2020, 11:10:35 PM: unfortunately, the old, strange gods of cookie rain turned out to be very old and strange, and kept asking for sacrifices of chocolate chips and for their worshipers to speak up, please, and pass the reading glasses.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 19, 2020, 04:14:53 PM: Fortunately, the people of earth mostly found this endearing and the old, strange gods of cookie rain became the dominant faith, with Mary Berry becoming their high priestess.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on October 19, 2020, 06:36:40 PM: Unfortunately, Mary Berry, drunk on power, sacrificed the rest of the Great British Bake Off cast (at least as it was before Channel 4 took it over.)
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on October 19, 2020, 07:22:15 PM: Fortunately, "sacrifices" to the old, strange gods of cookie rain are just shut in an eternal bake-off tent and are required to make cookies forever.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Othko97 on October 20, 2020, 07:42:11 PM: Unfortunately, they don't get to eat the delicious cookies, only endlessly bake them.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on October 21, 2020, 02:48:57 PM: Fortunately they get 99% of their pleasure through smell and the cookies also smell very delicious.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on November 10, 2020, 02:12:25 PM: Unfortunately they get the other 1% of their pleasure from the magical essence of the iguana gnomes, and as the iguana gnomes don't actually exist this leaves them permanently 1% dissatisfied.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on November 10, 2020, 07:14:02 PM: Fortunately the progress of evolution is magically speeded up by an explosion in one of those Radioactive Factories that Cause Superpowers and Stuff, causing iguana gnomes to spring into existance in less than a week
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on November 11, 2020, 07:53:19 AM: Unfortunately this explosion also gives rise to a dangerous super villain: Captain iguana giant
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 29, 2021, 05:22:17 PM: Fortunately it's winter and Captain Iguana Giant does not do well in cold weather.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Ierne on March 16, 2021, 10:12:33 PM: Unfortunately the sufferings of Captain Iguana Giant are greatly distressing to all the smaller iguanas, and they rise up in support of their giant brethren and take controll of a large wool factory in Yorkshire.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on March 30, 2021, 09:41:51 AM: Fortunately the old, strange gods of cookie rain, appeased by the existence of the iguana gnomes, decide to bestow their power on a hero who can a save the world from being smothered in an excessively large woolly jumper made by vengeful iguanas.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on April 13, 2021, 08:26:28 AM: Unfortunately the cookie rain hero is... the cookie monster. His power & duty to save the world are forgotten in the face of a dangerous cookie addiction.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on June 13, 2021, 12:54:45 PM: Fortunately, the Old, Strange Gods of Cookie Rain can lead the Cookie Monster in the right direction with well targeted rains of cookies.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on August 25, 2023, 01:01:17 PM: Unfortunately some actual rain began, and continued for so long that everything became flooded
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on August 25, 2023, 02:19:19 PM: Fortunately this floods out the wool factory owned by the vengeful smaller iguanas (remember those guys?) whose plans to smother the world in a giant woolly jumper are thus finally ended.
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Tusky on January 31, 2024, 10:32:04 AM: Unfortunately there is still quite a disastrous flood going on.

The badgers, squirrels and other assorted wildlife are in a certain amount of peril
Title: Re: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Post by: Jubal on January 31, 2024, 12:55:31 PM: Fortunately they can hide.

Hide under what, you ask?

Returning from spores, a fungal canopy so broad it forms a safe place above the waters. A mycelial miracle of life as decay, saving the assorted wildlife from the raging waters.

Is it? Could it really be?

They do not know how it got here, where it came from, or what comes next. They only know that this is...

The
Mighty
Mushroom
Of
Mundifron!