Tale about the Doge Bertolino and his wonderful house-pet

[BagaturKhan]

Tale about the Doge Bertolino and his wonderful house-pet


Narrated by the Doge Enrico Graziano Rossi.
June 25, A.D. 2595, planet Beljamonte.
The entry dates from the same time.


"What is Artificial Intelligence? It's just a bunch of some algorithms and programs. Unfortunately, I'm not a cyberneticist and don't quite understand all these gizmos. But the fact that a spirit can enter a robot is not a fairy tale. Of course, many will consider I'm crazy, but I'll tell you that AI can sometimes turn into a person and even acquire a soul. I do not know how this happens and how, but it happens. It happens sometimes that robots begin to recognize themselves as living beings and behave like this, As if they are. In some cases it ends badly. But sometimes .... Sometimes it also makes you think. Seriously think .... Are cars really just ordinary inanimate objects?
There was once such a case with Doge Bertolino. Two hundred years ago. Back then, Belgiamonte was not a great power as it is now. The neighboring system of Legnano waged a devastating war with her. And so, during the time of Bertolino, one incident occurred. Doge was a big fan of various techno gadgets. Robotic maids, robotic gardeners, robotic cleaners, robotic guards ... were for him something mysterious and incomprehensible. He always kept a good army of such creatures with him. I ordered them from the best cybernetics in the galaxy, the Zenovians. The Zenovians, as you know, are masters in this matter, even more abruptly, they say than Elfurr. And then one day one four-eyed Zenovian brought a small device to Bertolin as a gift. An ordinary kettle. But he worked on the basis of Artificial Intelligence. He could safely fly up on the orders of the owner, boil water, brew various teas, coffee, hot chocolates. If possible, he could even have a heart-to-heart talk with his master, within the limits of the set program, of course. The Doge willingly accepted the gift from the Zenovian and kept the kettle with him. He put it in the kitchen, where countless robotic servants worked. Bertolin's best friend, Chancellor Poletti, always tried to dissuade him from using such devices. But Bertolino ... he is like me. He was adamant. Is always. He did what he wanted.

And so every morning Bertolino always talked with this teapot heart to heart. "Good morning, Signor Bertolino," he heard every time from his new "pet". - "How are you feeling? How are you? Would you like some coffee or tea?" "Good morning to you too," the Doge replied. He was always amazed at this funny and funny voice coming from the device. It would seem like a simple tin, doing everything as intended ... But no, Bertolino thought he was special. He treated him like a living being. Before going to any meetings, he always asked him to make him some coffee. And the kettle happily fulfilled the instructions of the owner. Bertolino said that his mechanical friend even laughed. Imagine, he laughed and rejoiced.
Moreover, the kettle's program also included getting rid of sadness. The Doge had a lot of problems. Once he quarreled with the whole country, the Gerani Sultanate. The conversation took place because of the colonies claimed by Sultan Shafed. He wished to receive the distant systems of the Governorates, just expanded by Beljamonte. And after a failed conversation, Bertolino returned home. His look was sad. The eyelids are heavy. And here is the same teapot. Suddenly he burst into a joyful voice and even sang our national song in all his speakers! Sadness just vanished. Bertolino was delighted and even hugged his mechanical friend. Chancellor Poletti saw it all, and laughed out loud. I understand him in part. It seems like a doge, a serious person, the head of the republic, and so attached to these cars. But Bertolino did not see the typewriter in the teapot. I don't know what he saw in it, but clearly not an ordinary tin. Take my word for it.
Each time the kettle woke him up with kind words, burst into laughter and laughed. Then I told him interesting stories and even anecdotes. Bertolino was noticeably cheerful. He went to meetings with the rulers in high spirits. Many have already begun to think about the mental health of our doge. They thought that he was a little of that .... But no, there was no mental disorder. He just fell in love with this kettle as a pet. They became real friends with him. It is even difficult to imagine that such a serious politician as Bertolino paid attention to some mechanism that seemed to be devoid of a soul. But that was the case. Trust me. Everything I tell you is true. My father told me it, and his father told him, and so on until the very era of Bertolino. It happened that the Doge became sad, and he told everything to the teapot. Of course, this little metal prankster could hardly understand a word. But he always found words that delighted the Doge. They saved him from sadness and excitement. Removed anxiety and fear. He always helped him to gather strength. I always tried to keep his mood positive.

However, as is the case in all stories, once a villain appeared in Belgiamonte. His name was Franco, Franco Schiavoni. He received the title of Doge Legnano, having previously eliminated all candidates. He was a terrible and creepy man, all in inscriptions and tattoos. At one time, he traded in arms and spices, drove mad and killed hundreds of people. As a guard, he kept the bradatus, those muzzle and horned creatures most like satyrs. They were always on his guard. Whatever order Franco gave, they followed it. And then Schiavoni set out to make his way to Bertolino's friends. In fact, he simply wanted to eliminate Bertolino and take possession of his planet. It was a business. Belgiamonte attracted Franco with its minerals. After all, this planet is 70% oceans. And there is always something valuable under the water. And so Franco somehow arrived to meet with Bertolino. They agreed that they would discuss the transfer of one of the satellites under the authority of Schiavoni. Bertolino did not want this and tried with all his might to disrupt the deal. But Franco continued to insist. He promised to pay well.
The meeting of the Doges took place in the Palace of the Water City, the main residence of Bertolino. Bertolino told his teapot to pour some coffee for himself and Franco. The kettle did its job with a bang and filled the doge's cup completely. But when it came to Franco, he just passed out and fell to the floor. "Your cars are useless," Schiavoni said angrily then, "You would not hurt to get a living servant." To which Bertolino felt insulted. "I like robots," he replied to Franco, "And what hindered and hindered me, that's my business." The Doge was frightened that the teapot was over. He ordered the robotic servants to take him to the workshop under the palace. The conversation with Schiavoni failed. Bertolino told him what he would think. But Franco continued to insist, and ultimately left angry. What did this mean for Bertolino? That's right, the beginning of a long-term enmity. After all, Schiavoni could not be denied.



The Doge quickly rushed to the workshop to inspect his "little animal". And suddenly he was struck by surprise. The kettle was working. He flew around the workshop all the time and smiled. As if something joyful had happened. "Oh, you petty prankster," Bertolino remarked then. "Why didn't you pour Schiavoni's coffee?" The kettle didn't say anything to that. He continued to have fun and fly around the room as if something wonderful had happened. Then suddenly it dawned on Bertolino. It was a sign. Sign from the Gods. Schiavoni cannot be trusted. Even the kettle refused to pour him coffee. What can we say about Bertolino? The Doge realized that it was time to end this Franco. I had to protect myself from him. Moreover, it was certainly unsafe to cooperate with people like Franco. Schiavoni had friends among pirates and crime lords. It was said that he even maintained ties with some ancient cult. It seems that the members of this cult worshiped an ancient alien god. They called him just one letter - "M". And everyone who was friends with "M" and his acolytes had good connections. And at the same time, support.
Schiavoni naturally seized the chance. It seems that he even asked the cultists "M" for permission to eliminate Bertolino. And "M", as the rumor says, gave him such permission, and personally. Franco began to figure out how to deal with Bertolino, but so that everything went smoothly. Then he decided to provoke him a car accident. Bertolino had an appointment with Countess Ambarcaro about the mining companies. The Doge's path lay across the Bespuccio Bridge. It was there that Franco wanted to strike. Yes, so that everything looks as if the builders are to blame for not strengthening the structure. And in the morning Bertolino wakes up. But the kettle won't let him go. "Today you look bad," a voice suddenly heard from the speakers, "You'd better stay at home." "Why do you think so?" - Bertolino's surprised question, "I feel pretty good." "Today you look bad, sir," the same voice rang out, "I recommend you stay at home and call a doctor. Please." This was the first time he had heard such a thing from a teapot. Bertolino could not even think that some mechanical contraption would take care of his health, and even say "please". But all the same, he decided to send the adviser Dandolo in his place. At the same time, he himself stayed at home, as his precious teapot had told him. As a result, Dandolo drove along with the motorcade and was ambushed. The bomb exploded with all its might. The bridge collapsed. Fortunately, Dandolo did not die. He received several scratches and survived. But on the other hand, many of the guards required organ transplants. Schiavoni was furious when he learned that Bertolino was not dead.


At first, the Doge did not understand that the kettle had saved him again. He didn't even thank him. First of all, he arranged for Dandolo and all those affected to be properly assisted. And then he ordered the gendarmes to find out who had attempted on his life.
And only then ... towards evening, Bertolino finally understood. The kettle saved him. Saved from death. At first, he refused to serve Franco, warning him of this guy's evil intent. Then he warned Bertolino against the ill-fated trip. "So it's you ....", - said the Doge then, "You warned me again. If I went across that bridge, I would not be here anymore." But the kettle, as usual, said nothing. He just offered him some more tea. Franco dreamed of Bertolino the next night. He recalled that dream for a long time for several more years. It seemed to him that Schiavoni was connected with something very dark and sinister. He knew for sure that Franco wanted to kill him. And that it was Franco who was behind that terrorist attack on the bridge. Waking up, Bertolino looked again at the kettle, which, as usual, wished him good morning. "Well, do I look healthy today?" - the Doge involuntarily asked him. "Very healthy!" - there was a cheerful answer, "Would you like some coffee?" "Of course I do," Bertolino said happily. "But only this time without milk!" The kettle immediately rushed to obey orders. He again happily flew around the estate. He was really happy. He played funny songs from the old days all the time.
And Schiavoni ... Franco Schiavoni was angry to the limit. He believed that Bertolino acquired a psionicist who predicted his future future. Perhaps he even thought that the Doge already knew about his conspiracy. And then Schiavoni decided to act. He understood that time wasn't waiting, and he needed to end Bertolino as soon as possible. After all, the gendarmes from Belgiamonte managed to find two terrorists. They were captured and imprisoned in the Petro prison. It won't be long before they start talking. Then Franco will certainly not be good. In general, Franco decided to send killers to Bertolino, and to his personal residence. He gathered 20 of his goat-footed associates and gave instructions. "Kill Bertolino," he told them menacingly, "Then blow up the palace. Then kill all the advisers and chancellors. The government must be beheaded. This will help us take possession of Belgiamonte in just a few days." The Goat-Legs grinned viciously, already anticipating how they would deal with the unfortunate Bertolino. A group of 20 assassins flew out early in the morning and took a secret route to Beljamonte. Directly to visit the unsuspecting doge.

But it was not there. And here our precious teapot did its best. I used all my strength to save my master. In the middle of the night, Bertolino heard a loud squeal. He immediately woke up and saw this kettle right in front of him. He screeched so loudly that it would seem that the walls would take and crack. When Bertolino woke up, the screeching stopped immediately. Then a voice was heard, "Go away, go away, go away." "Where should I go?" - then the doge yelled, "I was asleep, and you woke me up!" But the kettle did not stop. He turned up the volume sharply. "Go away, go away," he continued to say. Bertolino feared that the kettle was broken again. He quickly grabbed it and walked with him to the workshop. When he was in the workshop, its doors slammed. And then the alarm went off. The goat-footed assassins were already in the building. Bertolino immediately contacted the guards and advisers. He ordered Poletti to send troops to the residence. The Chancellor immediately completed the task. Less than twenty minutes later, the best soldiers of the guard were already entering the residence building. They entered into a fierce battle with the assassins. We lost two people. But at the same time, they laid down almost the entire squad of Schiavoni. There was only one wounded goat-footed one, whom Bertolino decided not to kill .... At least at first.


"Who sent you?" - shouted Bertolino at the top of his lungs when he saw a captured alien. "Who made you attack?" After that, one of the guardsmen stepped on the wounded leg of the goat-footed man. The monster screamed in pain, and decided to give out everything he knew. He believed that he would be spared, and perhaps even paid for information. "Franco", - an eerie bleating was heard, "Fra-a-a-nko! Skya-a-aaaaa-vonnniiiiiii". The monster was ordered to be taken to the infirmary, and then sent to prison for further questioning. A week later, it became clear that Schiavoni planned not only to kill Bertolino, but also to attack Belgiamonte. He was going to personally deal with all the advisers and ministers of the Doge, and then become the ruler himself. Then Bertolino clearly understood that it was better to hit himself. As the saying goes, if a person does not hit first, he will be hit first. And the kettle .... What the kettle. Bertolino did not part with him for a minute. He even began to take him with him to meetings with advisers and generals. He was always there ... Next to his priceless treasure.
The Doge remembered the treacherous attack of the assassins for a long time. He was not going to leave it like this .... And so he planned to hold Franco to account. Bertolino's doctors put that goat-footed monster on its feet completely, and he told even more. The Doge introduced him to all the military. The generals were terrified, then replaced by anger. They wanted to punish Legnano for his crimes. Bertolino began training. He knew Schiavoni would take another blow. And Franco was going to ... Schiavoni also did not doze. He ordered the fleets under control to increase their presence at the borders of the system. He, like Bertolino, held meetings with the military. "We must destroy Bertolino," Franco raged furiously at the meetings, "He is cunning and calculating. But his days are numbered. The hour will come and Legnano will become an empire. I will destroy Belgiamonte and all his power. I will kill every local resident who dares to resist. to me". "But my lord, it looks like Bertolino has some kind of psionic," one of the generals answered Schiavoni, "He warns him all the time. Saves him from death." "Never mind, I will get to him," - the stern ruler growled in response, "I will destroy all of them." The war of entire star systems was approaching. This war promised to be the bloodiest of all that happened in those lands. But everything was decided by fate .... Fate! She sometimes brings surprises that we never knew!


Bertolino had already prepared an army of guardsmen to strike. The task was to capture the Autocratic Palace on Legnano. Franco was to be captured and brought to Belgiamonte. But everything did not happen at all as the Doge had expected. As it turned out, Schiavoni was full of enemies. After all, Franco had such a putrid trait that always turns people away. He preferred to make promises and not keep them. If you only knew how much Schiavoni owe the pirate lords! Quadralillions! Quadralillions of denarii! And so they decided to ask him for a favor. After all, he did not give them anything for 7 years. His term has already expired a long time ago. What do you think happened? Pirate squadrons laid siege to Legnano. Franco's army was defeated in the very first hours. First, the pirates destroyed the space bases, and then came to his palace. Schiavoni immediately surrendered. He figured he could get out of this . But he didn't succeed! Nothing. Beaten and wounded, Franco was dragged on his knees to all his former comrades-in-arms.
Schiavoni landed on the flagship of the Nine Pirate Commanders, among whom was none other than Thomas Blackbeard himself. He was such a terrible pirate that they even scared children. At one time he served in Artandir's navy, and then wanted fame. Without wars and battles, he was too bored. He safely retired from the fleet, cutting the throat of the midshipman, and then joined the pirate gangs. Very soon, Thomas received the captain of the pirate squadron, and 10 years later - the fleet commander. And this title, as you know, is an honorable one for corsairs! After 12 years, he became one of their supreme leaders and head of the Council of Clans. Schiavoni at one time owed him 200 trillion, and did not give it back. The black-bearded man did not like being deceived. For Franco there was a favor, and a very sickly one. I can imagine Schiavoni's face when he was next to Thomas. Moreover, he was on his knees, and Blackbeard towered over him.
"I will give everything," - begged the pirate lord unfortunate Franco, "I will return everything. Let me plunder Beljamonte, and I will return your money." "You don't have time anymore," Thomas growled mockingly, and drew his long serrated sword from his bosom. With this sword, they say, he finished off his former boss while still in the Artandir fleet. He always carried it with him and used it only in the event of reprisals against the unwanted. "I will return," Schiavoni almost cried, continuing to kneel, "I will seize Beljamonte tomorrow." "Your time is up, Franco," Blackbeard grinned viciously, "Yes, of course! Tomorrow you will do everything ... And then you fade away and look for you all over the galaxy! Did you think I forgot? But I never forget anything!" ". Then Schiavoni became furious and spat furiously in front of him. "I have cult friends," he croaked in his madness, "My god will take your soul." Thomas just laughed out loud at this. "Your god did not save you from me!", - he exclaimed loudly, "And he will not save you!" After that, he simply chopped Schiavoni apart. The top half of it collapsed onto the deck. And the lower one remained on her knees, dripping with pools of blood. This is how the unfortunate life of the accursed Schiavoni ended. How? An inglorious death at the hands of a robber.

Legnano was plundered clean by pirates. These corsairs took out everything they could. They loaded entire barges with money. You should have seen it! They had never seen so many quadralillions in their lives. Naturally, Thomas returned the favor, and even replenished the clan treasury. What was left for him? Take Belgiamonte? No, in the lands of Doge Bertolino, he did not meddle. The black beard just took his own and disappeared. Disappeared into the depths of the galaxy. And Legnano remained a devastated planet for many years to come. No army, no navy, no money. This is what happens when a criminal is in power. There is always some kind of opportunity. And what about our Bertolino? When he found out that Legnano had been plundered, he was not too happy. He never liked pirate raids. But inwardly he felt a certain calm. Now there will be no more evil coming from Franco. After all, evil has devoured itself. Schiavoni wanted to plunder Belgiamonte and create an empire. But he lost everything ... Even what he had. And Bertolino stayed alive. Nobody touched his home planet anymore. Nobody encroached on Beljamonte and its independence any more. And all thanks to what? I thank my little iron friend who has always been with the doge! After all, if he had not saved his master on that terrible night, Franco could have avoided his well-deserved fate.
What happened next? As is usually the case in fairy tales, And they Lived Long and Happily. By the way, it was so. Bertolino soon got things right, with the help of his trusty teapot. He continued to carry the kettle with him until the very end of his life. As for his life, it was a success. There was no Schiavoni anymore. Soon Bertolino made peace with the Sultan of Gerani. They made peace on the planet Gazpacho, right in the presence of a little iron friend, who happily poured tea for everyone. He poured the Sultan the most delicious of all that was prepared in Beljamonte. "I don't understand your robots," Sultan Shafed laughed at the meetings, "How do you trust them?". "These are not robots, these are my friends," the Doge replied, thus causing a broad smile from the ruler, "You don't even know what this little teapot did." "And what did he do?" - Shafed was amazed at this. "He saved my life," Bertolino replied in a serious tone, "And I am forever grateful to him." The teapot seemed to understand the words of the Doge. He seemed to cheer up. He began to fly around both rulers and sing to them the funniest songs I knew.

Soon Bertolino married Ashena, daughter of the Gerani sultan. The alliance between the two powers was strengthened. From now on, they announced the Cooperation Alliance. The Geranian princes and the sons of ministers went to study at Beljamonte. Bertolino's receptions were always full of guests. The sultan himself often visited his residence and discussed with him future achievements. After a while, many children were born to him. But he never parted with the kettle. This little mechanical friend was always with Bertolino. With the same joy he poured tea not only for him, but for Ashena and all his children. Many wondered, how could it be ... Why suddenly some little thing has become so attractive to the tough doge? But the Doge always replied that it was not a thing or a teapot at all. After all, it was his friend. The same friend who saved his life several times. The kettle lived much longer than it was prescribed in the warranty. The Zenovian did not promise decades of life. As far as everyone knows, such teapots have a guarantee for twenty years. But to everyone's surprise, he lived a lot longer. Until the very death of Bertolino.
The great Doge Beljamonte lived 87 full years. He spent more than 50 of them with his beloved teapot, which became his faithful friend and savior. Do you know what happened when Bertolino died? He died suddenly, not from illness, but simply in a dream. He was lying to himself, sleeping, and suddenly his soul separated from his body. In the morning, grown-up children and an elderly wife came running to him. But Bertolino lay in bed and did not move. A strange and unnatural smile froze on his face. Everyone around was crying, and he was smiling. A riddle, isn't it? He was the only one who smiled. Then his wife, beloved Ashena, went to the kitchen to check his favorite teapot. And you know what? The kettle was no longer working. He just passed out. Didn't show any signs of life. She tried to take it to the workshop, but there she was told that the device could no longer be repaired. The expiration date has expired. All microcircuits are already outdated, and it is no longer possible to restore them.
Here is such a story about friendship between a human and a robot. And how to understand here whether these strange mechanical creatures have souls or not? If they are not there, then what was sitting inside this kettle? What made him save the life of his master? Riddles ... solid riddles with no answers. We may never know the truth. We do not know what was in that small and funny teapot, which served the great doge for so many years.
But the story of this miracle of technology will never die. Believe me, whole centuries will pass, and maybe millennia, but this will never be forgotten. They will not forget the story of the mighty Bertolino and his little iron friend.


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Post scriptum information:

Gerani Sultanate - in 2596 the member of Achaeron League; earlier, it was a great kingdom in the galactic east of Milky Way, controlled by mightiest sultans. Its the home of absolute monarchy and ancient people. Mythology says, that realm was created by the descendants of ancient Blameless Empire.

Beljamonte Signoria - in 2596, member of Galaxy States Coalition; earlier it was independent nobles republic, the part of ancient Duklja empire, which was destroyed near 15000 BC. Main leader of this state is doge, mightiest leader of all noble families.

Legnano Signoria - in 2596, state, which was captured by Kavinto and Beljamonte forces, because Legnano general-governors were allies of League; earlier it was independent state with tyrannical system of power. Its also have connections with ancient Duklja empire.

Bradatus States - princedoms and realms of Bradatus races (satiros, feunos, goat-legs), satir-like alien species. They are powerful mercenaries and loves to fight only for gold. They always were allies of cruel tyrants and autocratic dictators.

Elfurr Empire - the most great galaxy state and home of Elfurr race (elf-like alien species). About them you can read more in my other articles here. Elfurr is the most powerful race in the whole galaxy, natural technological giant.

Zenovian Consortium - small galactic state, controlled by insect-like species, which are masters of drone technologies.