Spoil a wish

[Jubal]

Forming healthier life habits isn't so difficult. Sticking to them unfortunately still is.

I wish I had spent today doing more useful things than making a guesswork spreadsheet for a set of minor internal elections that nobody will be interested in.

[The Seamstress]

You spent today doing more useful things than making a guesswork spreadsheet, though it was useful by hamster standards, meaning you spent the day collecting food in your cheeks while looking silly and cute.

I wish my life felt more magical.

[Jubal]

Your life feels more magical! Unfortunately the magic in question is fairy prank magic and now you can never find anything in your house and your milk keeps curdling weirdly.

I wish I was better at humaning

[The Seamstress]

You're better at humaning. Still most other humans are bad at humaning, so you feel quite out of place.

I wish it was autumn all year round.

[Jubal]

It is autumn all year round. This causes mass ecosystem collapse because of the lack of a summer, and everyone starves.

I wish I felt more comforted by existence.

[The Seamstress]

You feel more comforted by existence. Existence doesn't really do anything though, it just exists, so no one can be sure if being comforted by existence is of any use, or if this makes any sense since I'm unable to come up with anything more intelligent to spoil your wish with.

I wish someone would cook two healthy meals for me per day.

[Jubal]

Someone cooks two healthy meals for you per day. They unfortunately prepare them in random locations around the globe so you end up constantly jet-setting to try and find your food.

I wish we spent more money on trying to combat annoying chronic illnesses