Consequences Generator

[Jubal]

Because I'm proud of this and posting it everywhere:

http://tolkien.soc.ucam.org/consequence

Basically it generates a mini-story, reload and you get a different one.

Post your best/most amusing results

[Clockwork]

Generic elf with F name met Manwe upon the plains of Rohan.
F-elf said, "This is a great party, don't you think?"
"I've been slowly becoming more drunk since last Tuesday, I think.", Manwe replied.
Thus it was settled - they decided to start a company importing Dorwinian wine in vast quantities.
Saruman was, as a result, able to conquer Middle-earth with giant robots.

[Jubal]

Some good ones I just came up with:

In which Eowyn and Saruman get depressively drunk:

Eowyn met Saruman in Erebor.
Eowyn said, "Mine's a pint!"
"War will make corpses of us all.", Saruman replied.
The conversation then ended, and they went their separate ways in sadness.
In the end, the two of them set up a publishing company and distributed millions of copies of their joint autobiography.

In which Dain Ironfoot "gets his sword out":

Arwen met Dain Ironfoot, the renowned Communist ideologue in a house of ill repute.
Arwen said, "Put that sword away!"
"One does not simply meet at the Prancing Pony.", Dain replied.
They went and got their lutes and had an epic lute solo battle.
As a result the forest was cut down to power the furnaces.

In which Tuor/Galadriel becomes a ship (I bet someone has done this before, but also I'm definitely not going to look it up):

Tuor met Galadriel, who was at that point just a little tipsy in the furthest Harad, where the stars are strange.
Tuor said, "Do not scorn pity that is the gift of a gentle heart!"
"Your hair is actually really curly. I never noticed before.", Galadriel replied.
After that they went to the beach to build sandcastles.
The eagles eventually arrived - but it was too late.

In which Aragorn and Bilbo adopt a daughter who turns evil:

Aragorn and Bilbo's Adoptive Daughter, Elmarie met Queen Beruthiel in Cornwall.
Elmarie said, "Meet me at the Cracks of Doom."
"How many hearts will be broken? How many lives shattered?", Beruthiel replied.
They cast mighty spells, and forged a new Great Ring of Power.
As a result, the Armies of the Dead arrived.

And finally, in which Fili becomes a stupendously wealthy narcissist:

Fili met Fili in Erebor.
Fili said, "Greetings, old friend!"
"If I was to marry anyone, it would have been you.", Fili replied.
They then got rich speculating on Smaug's treasure hoard.
The eagles eventually arrived - but it was too late.