Trial version of Exilian is ending; payment required

[Jubal]

This is to remind you all that the Exilian trial version is nearly over. You can use Exilian for 30 days from registration as a free trial period, after which you owe a subscription fee of one hundred and thirty nine US dollars per day (remember that one US dollar is 66.22 Bhutanese ngultrum) to use our extremely valuable facilities. This can be paid by bank transfer, or preferably by stuffing dollar bills into envelopes and sending them via carrier pigeon.

If you upgrade to the full version of Exilian you'll get access to a host of new services, including a games arcade, a library of over 1200 1980s adventure games, and a fart machine button on the Exilian homepage. We're pleased to be delivering all these services in conjunction with our regular partner organisations including the Church of Scientology, the government of Uzbekistan and the Trump organisation.

By ever clicking on anything ever you agree to the terms of the agreement in the spoiler tags below; click to read.

Spoiler

Happy April Fools' Day!

Jubal

[Lizard]

I would stuff ALL of the money into a carrier pigeon's envelope for access to that many 80s adventure games.