Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[The Seamstress]

Strangely enough, the same person who's responsible for how snails look: Smimkins McWherble, 49th floor. An unpleasant guy. Why he hasn't been fired yet, nobody knows. No one even likes him.

What is how and why of where?

[Jubal]

What is how and why of where?
That's because, because, and there!

Why does my ceiling never react when I'm looking at it?

[The Seamstress]

It doesn't have ears, or eyes, so it's probably unaware that you're looking at it. That or it just ignores you.

Why don't human teeth grow constantly, like a rabbit's?

[Jubal]

Because we are inconstant as the changing tides,
Leaves upon the mortal wind that, e'er winter night should fall,
Be tossed both to and fro about the earth:
And, then resting, rise in time
When gale and zephyr call to yearling mirth.

Why can't I write the things I'm actually meant to be writing?

[The Seamstress]

It's called The Writer's Wobblebrain, a condition known to commonly affect writers. There's no cure, but that's okay.

Who invented fish and chips, and why?

[Jubal]

Fish invented it because they were trying to get their neighbours in trouble. They do tend to get very salty about things, sea creatures.


Do tortoises dream of being able to jump like frogs?

[The Seamstress]

That's an interesting question. Has anyone ever asked them? I don't think so. Maybe we should. Do land-dwellers have a greater wish to jump like frogs, because they see frogs jumping on land and aspire to be like them? But what about frogs in water? Maybe tortoises would rather swim but don't dare to disrupt The Order of Nature. Turtles could sue them for copyright infringement. Then again, there's the question where tortoise ends and turtle begins, a dispute still ongoing.


Why are stars shining?

[Jubal]

They're just big Stanley Kubrick fans.


What happens when a star gets sad?

[The Seamstress]

Stars don't get sad. Their job is to provide comfort to stargazing humans. It's magic!

Why are bees so cute?