Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[The Seamstress]

We hide from our To Do lists. Don't move and make no sound or they're gonna find us!


What if humans looked like cabbage?

[Jubal]

Then I would be considered more beautiful.


Why don't books decide themselves where they should be shelved? They have all the knowledge in after all.

[The Seamstress]

(You would also have a much higher risk of being eaten by rabbits!)

All that knowledge weighs a ton and makes the poor books tired. You can't expect them to make shelving decisions, they've always lived among humans and thus are dependent on us.


What is yellow and makes "moo"?

[Jubal]

Sauron.


What is the result of afflerbating a condecoction of phragonomy and pennywhence?

[The Seamstress]

They create a phragowhence which has to be condecocted with hoblafroo. Then you'll have to rolpledink the afflerbation within 20 minutes, otherwise it explodes and emits dangerous hoblafroofroos. You don't want to mess with those.


Why is silliness so funny?

[Jubal]

Because also then, applying spooner's theory, fillyness is sunny, and as the sitcom tells us, it's always sunny in Philadelphia.

Why do showers not provide backing vocals when one sings in them?

[The Seamstress]

I don't know! They absolutely should. It's a gap in the market.

Why are vacuum cleaners so obnoxiously loud?

[Jubal]

They're actually trying to whisper, they're just really bad at it.


Why don't more geese set up local small businesses?

[The Seamstress]

Because they can't handle the paperwork. They have no hands, you see.

What is the worst noise ever made by a human?

[Jubal]

It was a raspberry blown by a small child in the summer of 1756, which caused three droughts, a turnip crop failure, and also indirectly Hitler. The butterfly effect is a hell of a thing.

Why don't earrings ever ring? They don't even get phones so they can try!

[The Seamstress]

They don't want to interfere with the tinnitus, it's got the monopoly already.

I saw this one on Pinterest and am still thinking about it, so, discuss: Are oranges named oranges because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?

[Tusky]

That's a good one... I for one think it must be named after orange, not orange.

Actually no I changed my mind definitely orange.

I need a new auger, but thinking I can probably make do with a trained mole. Which is best?

[The Seamstress]

I think the mole should be fine, just make sure you don't accidentally get a BRAIN MOLE.

Who invented popcorn?

[Jubal]

Grandpop corn and Granma Corn

Why can't I smell sunlight?

[The Seamstress]

Sunlight has no odour because the sun wears Anti-Smell™, the number one deodorant of galactic reputation, now available on earth in all well-stocked pharmacies. Ask for Anti-Smell™ today and get 25% off with code "Sunlight25"!

Why are sweet foods mostly unhealthy foods? Nature has failed me.