Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[The Seamstress]

By walking on all fours. Very fast.

Why is there sand on beaches?

[Jubal]

It spilled out of the sandbags they put there to keep the sea out.


Where is the best place to eat tree bark?

[The Seamstress]

In the forest. That's where trees usually are.

How old is ancient?

[Jubal]

15th century*

When might a badger wish to play chequers?




*This actually is when "ancient" first appears in English.

[The Seamstress]

10 pm would be a good time. Don't forget to bring snacks.


Who?

[Jubal]

The Doctor!

Why isn't there more purple?

[The Seamstress]

Because Colour Clown, God of Colours, in his great wisdom has decided all colours shall be equal.

Why isn't this whole "human adult" game easier, is there a trick no one told me about?

[Jubal]

There is, it's the 360 Ollie Kickflip. Unfortunately this is also not easy unless you are Tony Hawk.


Why isn't breakfast as appealing an idea when it's time to have breakfast as it is at other times of day?

[The Seamstress]

Because hobbits. Don't ask for details, it is Forbidden Knowledge.

Why is buying fabric and art supplies so addictive?

[Jubal]

I have spent like a fortnight now not managing to come up with a good drugs + haberdashery pun to respond to this with, so I'm just going to give up and say BECAUSE FROGS.


Why won't the anxious go away?

[The Seamstress]

The Anxious is an eternal entity. It won't go anywhere, unfortunately. But it can be mollified by feeding it magic muffins.


What happens next?

[Jubal]

The thing that happens after this thing.


When should you enter the bromeliad?

[The Seamstress]

You probably shouldn't, the pineapples might eat you to avenge their slaughtered brethren.

Who invented humans?

[Jubal]

Human Incorporated. They are not a great company.


Why isn't there a lowercaseism movement to oppose capitalism from a whole new angle?

[The Seamstress]

They have no capital to fund any campaigns or events for their movement.

Who will do Mothman's job after he retires?