Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

Because immortals get jaded, and everything becomes the same to them, and we were born to delight in small things and autumn winds: foolishness is our most beautiful calling.

Why can't I sing to cats in a voice they will understand?

[The Seamstress]

You're not a cat.


Let's settle this once and for all: What really came first, chicken or egg?

[Tusky]

What actually came first was the eggchicken. Half Chicken, half egg. It then bifurcated and became a separate chicken and egg.

Sure, sweet corn is all very well and good... but where are the saltcorn, umamecorn, sourcorn and spicycorns?

[Jubal]

They are behind the Cornwall.


If you can have a T-shirt, why can't you have a K-shirt or an H-shirt?

[The Seamstress]

Who says you can't? Wear a K-shirt! Break the rules of fashion!

Bears: Why are they so fluffy and cute, so utterly friend-shaped, yet so dangerous they'll eat you? Nature clearly made a mistake here?

[Jubal]

There are no mistakes in the bear. The mistake is ours for being made of bear food.

Why does my local dialect use the word "do" for so many things?

[The Seamstress]

There are no mistakes in the bear. The mistake is ours for being made of bear food.

Evolution failed us.

Why does my local dialect use the word "do" for so many things?

If you do not know, I do not know either. The do's of your local dialect do seem to have a purpose unknown to man. Do-do-doodle-dooo~


Why do I own so much stuff, some of which I don't even really need nor use?

[Jubal]

Because stuff and nonsense is a thing, there is much nonsense therefore you need much stuff to maintain balance.


Why aren't there emotional support wombats in my office?

[The Seamstress]

Because the Emotional Support Wombat Network stopped cooperating with your workplace after that one office christmas party in 2005 where everyone had a bit too much mulled wine. The details have been covered up by the government.

Why can't rabbits talk?

[Jubal]

They burrowed too close to the Tower of Babel.


Why is pain painful?

[The Seamstress]

It has to be, it's painful, meaning full of pain. A very unfortunate linguistic situation.

Why aren't pangolins ruling the world yet?

[Jubal]

I'm too tired 


If pansexuals exist and pangolins exist, why do bigolins, homogolins, heterogolins, and agolins not exist?

[The Seamstress]

Who says they don't exist? They might just be in the closet. It's called compulsory pangolinity or something.

Why are cheese wheels round?

[Jubal]

That's just the way they roll.

You can make a pasty using pastry: so why can't you make a galley out of a gallery?