Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Jubal]

It's an evolved defence against hobgoblins.

Why don't my plants talk back to me?

[Tusky]

They are talking to you but it is a very very quiet voice.

If bread always lands butter side down, why can't we wait until the bread has fallen on the floor, and then butter it?

[Jubal]

Because then you'd have to butter the underside and that would be really awkward, obviously.

Why are ducks?

[Tusky]

Because if there weren't then why are breadcrumbs? It just doesn't add up.

I need an extremely small pony for some administrative tasks. I'm talking less than a hand. Where could one procure such a beast in these unprecedented times?

[Jubal]

There's lots everywhere! Just make sure you have plenty of Italian lombard cream cheese, because in these unprecedented times you need to...

mascarpone.


(I'll get my coat).


What could happen if I renege on the above promise to get my coat?

[Caradìlis]

The coat will be offended to not have been got and will walk away to somewhere where it is more appreciated.

Where?

[Jubal]

DOWN.

In what way is a gutar unlike a mammoth?

[Ierne]

The guitar enjoyed the trombone's carefully prepared fruit salad, and therefore did not offend it the way the mammoth did

Why does the path of true love never run smooth?

[Jubal]

It's all these GOD DAMN PORCUPIIIIIIIINES!


Why are the spikes of porcupines called quills and not, as they should appropriately be called, porcuspines?