Author Topic: Writings by Rob  (Read 3201 times)

Clockwork

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Writings by Rob
« on: April 18, 2013, 08:11:22 AM »
As you'll be able to tell, I'm not a writer; but here it is anyway.

Big Boss Oomanstompa sat atop his boar watching the carnage that was unfolding. Thousands of greenskins littered the battlefield; things were not going as he had planned. A Doom Diver sailed overhead and crashed into the back of a giant he tamed years ago. The beast was irked by this and turned around to see what had caused his newfound headache, stomping both the militia he was fighting and the orcs in the melee. Spying the catapult, he frowned and lumbered towards it, squishing anything in his path.

“NO! Not dat way ya dumb git!” Oomanstompa roared “Deese tall oomies are stompy I’ll give ‘em dat, but only wen dere stompin da enemy” As the greenskin army was crumbling around him he had a rare moment of cunning and an unpleasant grin etched itself upon his face. ‘Oi, arrer gobbos!’ he shouted, making himself heard even above the din of battle, “Shoot da giant”.  The diminutive greenskins shuffled, trying to pretend they didn’t hear the obviously suicidal order they had just been given. “Shoot it in da face now or I’ll come over dere and take yer ‘eads off meself!”
“Err, Big Boss…Wat’s yer plan ere? We’s want da giant to stomp the oomies not our gobbos…Wud be funny though” the Big’Un chuckled to himself. The Boss ignored him, throwing the goblins a look which brought them to a newfound conclusion that this would be one of the rare occasions where shooting a giant in the face might be their best chance to live.

Bigoomie felt a flurry of pinpricks in his shoulder, these distractions were making him hungry. While this was nothing new (since everything made him hungry) he still decided to see who was causing this interruption of whatever he was doing. The culprit? Some things that were almost too small to eat, 'They'll do' Bigoomie thought and decided to walk over to them.

Oomanstompa smiled, the giant had turned around and was now heading towards the goblins; and therefore closer to the Averland lines. “Now’ he said ‘Now we’s getting’ sumwer”. The goblins ran screaming towards a unit of halberdiers, not usual goblin tactics to run towards an enemy but this time was special. A thirty foot tall gargantuan was chasing them and they soon found themselves with a choice of being eaten or being stabbed and chopped by the Men of the Empire. ”Right, now we’re talkin” said Oomanstompa as he kicked his boar into gear ‘WAAAAGH!’ he bellowed with his unit of boar boys echoing his cry. Just as he was about to crash into the Knights Panther that were slaughtering wolf riders, the splintered remains of a chariot beside them, he had the misfortune to see his hard work come undone as a cannonball took the giant's head off. The giant came crashing to the floor, flattening the remaining halberdiers and the few goblins that were left. ‘Zog it’ the Boss mumbled ‘Get anovva wun!’
« Last Edit: April 22, 2013, 09:40:38 PM by luckynumber13 »
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.


Jubal

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Re: Just something I wrote while doing descriptions for O&G
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2013, 12:00:09 PM »
Oh, the giants, we love them so much :D

Nice to see the tradition of them being cannonball magnets is still strong as well (a tradition I've mostly tended to keep up from the "behind the gun" end, being a Dwarf player).
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Clockwork

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Re: Just something I wrote while doing descriptions for O&G
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2013, 12:16:22 PM »
It's how every single one of my giants met their demise. Well, that or a darned fanatic kneecapping them with a wrecking ball. -.-
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.


Clockwork

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Re: Writings by Rob
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2013, 10:00:46 PM »
The matrix was especially lifeless today. RT was searching for something, he ducked into the ruins of a building and sat down. This was his world, meditating, thinking, he was alone and this was exactly how he wanted to be. By his command memories and past regets faded in and out, drifting past him like dry leaves in a stiff breeze. 'There was always one' he mused to himself, a pang in his chest reminding him of sorrow and the failure that won't stop haunting him. Stone turned to ash and ghostly figures swept away as he was brought back to reality by a harsh sounding voice coming from a mouth with tusks a size too big for it.
"RT, up. Now."
"Fine, give me a moment and I'll be there, tell her I'm on my way" The half elf was used to being summoned and obeyed with his usual look of compliance, devoid of emotion but unquestioning. This was it he thought, SSDD, nothing ever changes here.

He stood in the doorway just listening for a while, enjoying the sound of her voice and warming to her commanding presence. "Reg, we're going to need at least two jobs to even get the gear required for this heist, not to mention that between the five of us only the two of us have any worthwhile experience if this gets ugly"
"It shouldn't come to that" RT made his move from the doorway. "You've seen me take over an entire block before, one building won't be a problem"
"You finally decided to wake up then" she said, no hint of affection in her eyes, only disgust. "You re-routed the power of an abandoned district through your mind, they had no failsafes, no protection. This will be different." RT smirked, cunning always came naturally to him and he had a plan.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2013, 08:22:19 PM by luckynumber13 »
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.