Author Topic: How to tell if you accidentally end up in a classic Doctor Who episode  (Read 839 times)


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How to tell if you accidentally end up in a classic Doctor Who episode
By Jubal

As yesterday was Doctor Who's 54th anniversary, this week it's time for a Doctor Who article! In a format shamelessly borrowed-without-leave from The Toast, we bring you the ultimate guide to the many ways to tell if you suddenly find yourself in a classic series episode of Doctor Who. Hope you enjoy it!

You run down a tunnel. You have seen the tunnel before in a different place. Your pursuer has also seen the tunnel before in a different place. Neither of you consider this fact worthy of comment.

The TARDIS ends up in the wrong place.

The TARDIS doesn't end up in the wrong place because there wasn't a right place planned to start with.

You have reached a planet thousands of lightyears and several millennia from your home on earth. Everybody still basically looks human.

You have just freed a whole planet from its oppressive overlords. You have met no more than seven of the inhabitants in the process of doing so.

A corporation exists with a disconcertingly generic name and an even more disconcertingly generic plan for world domination.

There is some form of military personnel present. Whatever the problem is, they are intending to shoot at it. This proves to be a bad idea.

Something happens in a sewer system that could probably actually have been done overground in considerably more comfort.

Someone tells you with a dramatic flourish that they plan to conquer earth; you must once again do your best to try and sound surprised.

An alien power has hijacked your navigation systems and sent you into immense personal danger. This happens to you on a weekly basis.

There is a giant alien computer with impossibly complex circuitry the like of which would take a generation to decipher. Someone manages to remove just the right circuit in five minutes using a penknife.

You have been accused of treason and spying. You have been on the planet for five minutes and are not yet sure who you might have been committing it against.

An alien with an extremely obvious and widely known critical vulnerability comments repeatedly on the weakness of humanity.

You are permitted to access the seat of the planetary government and talk directly to its leaders despite absolutely nobody knowing who you are.

Nobody has ever queried the fact that most sentient life seems to evolve on planets that look uniformly like barren quarry pits.

A thing is a thing of the Daleks.

A thing is a thing of Rassilon.

You run down a tunnel a thousand miles underground. The walls wobble. This is fine.

There are strange alien growths everywhere. They are strangely reminiscent of common packaging materials.

There is danger, and injustice - but the main concern is that the tea is getting cold.

« Last Edit: November 26, 2017, 01:17:40 PM by Jubal »
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...