Love poetry

Started by BagaturKhan, August 22, 2024, 01:45:19 PM

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BagaturKhan

Hi all.
Because of my not very successful "love way" with Rus opposition girls, because of broken heart, my long-year work with Rus opposition, I can't name myself as Rus oppositioner, and of course can't name myself as lover of Rus regime.

So I'm 100% European now. I was and I will be.
 And I wanna show you some my poetry. Maybe sad, but I hope, you'll be interesting.

All what I want is the calm good life with beloved one. No politics anymore in my life.
Ok...
Let's go!

–-----------------

I'm tired, almost dead
Want my suffers to end
Where is light in the heart?

Almost every day sad
And feel awfully bad
Where is light in the sun?

Where is love, I want find
All see tears in my sight
Where is light near me?

Where is love, where is light
I am really want find
Where is light in the sky?

I don't want anymore
To see all like before
To see wars and conflicts
To take part politIcs

All I want is the light
Light within, in my sight.
Fully finished stories about "World of Infinitas"
- Revenge of Tyrants. Darkness
- Revenge of Tyrants. Storm of Souls
- Revenge of Tyrants. Dragons Destiny
- Revenge of Tyrants. Not a lucky adventure
- Tale about doge Bertolino
- What is space
- The Fly
- Potestas War saga
- Sol Invictus

BagaturKhan

P.s. sorry accidentally posted it here.
Could you pls turn this topic to Poetry? Thanks anyway))
Fully finished stories about "World of Infinitas"
- Revenge of Tyrants. Darkness
- Revenge of Tyrants. Storm of Souls
- Revenge of Tyrants. Dragons Destiny
- Revenge of Tyrants. Not a lucky adventure
- Tale about doge Bertolino
- What is space
- The Fly
- Potestas War saga
- Sol Invictus

Jubal

Duly moved. :)

I'm not sure if some of your turns of phrase are intentional, but a few things that stood out:
  • I'd maybe use suffering rather than suffers. At least in my accent the "er" syllable is often dropped so it would still scan OK.
  • In both your cases of "want find", I find missing the to in "want to find" a bit jarring as a native speaker. "I must find" might keep a similar meaning but scan better?
  • Also in "I am really want find", the "I am" would need an adjective: "That I really must find" might keep the scansion while working alright.

I recognise the sense of political burnout: I've seen a lot of friends who have done bits of activism go through phases of it. I hope you feel more recovered from things soon.
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

BagaturKhan

Updated version (Thanks to Jubal!)
---

I'm tired, almost dead
Want my suffering end
Where is light in the heart?

Almost every day sad
And feel awfully bad
Where is light in the sun?

Where is love, I must find?
All see tears in my sight
Where is light near me?

Where is love, where is light
I want really to find
Where is light in the sky?

I don't want anymore
To see all like before
To see wars and conflicts
To take part politIcs

All I want is the light
Light within, in my sight.

---
By the way, yeah I'm now not in politics. Just wanna live like ordinary european without thinking about sides, about blood and other things. Want to find normal girl who will not ignore feelings.
Sorry for that emotions)) but its truth.
Politics is my past
Fully finished stories about "World of Infinitas"
- Revenge of Tyrants. Darkness
- Revenge of Tyrants. Storm of Souls
- Revenge of Tyrants. Dragons Destiny
- Revenge of Tyrants. Not a lucky adventure
- Tale about doge Bertolino
- What is space
- The Fly
- Potestas War saga
- Sol Invictus

BagaturKhan

For opposition girls
(A bit rap poetry)

Hey girls, I want know, why you so strict
You're blocking my feelings, it's like Popes interdict!
Im crying a lot, im fighting a lot!
But for what? Tell me please, I'm crying for what?
I'm tired of your cold, and I block politIcs!
I don't want to be bold, I am tired of your tricks!
I am crying a lot, I am fighting a lot!
But for what? Tell me please, I'm fighting for what?
Fully finished stories about "World of Infinitas"
- Revenge of Tyrants. Darkness
- Revenge of Tyrants. Storm of Souls
- Revenge of Tyrants. Dragons Destiny
- Revenge of Tyrants. Not a lucky adventure
- Tale about doge Bertolino
- What is space
- The Fly
- Potestas War saga
- Sol Invictus