I walk in finding it empty so I walk over to the counter and order beer. I sip the beer than go and wait by the door with a crowbar for the next person that walks in.
I jump in through the back window and smash over the head with a shovel. I then take your position as it was a good idea and sounds like fun. :P
I run out the back door as soon as I regain consciousness. I dive through the same window you came in and stuck a "Kick me" sign on your back. I walk over to the bar and bash the bartender and made myself a drink. I sneak to the dark, back corner to wait for someone to come running through the door so I could laugh at there foolishness. LOL
I head to the back of the bar and perform a citizens arrest on Khan.
For possession of an egg-sized lump on the back of his head. :P
I escape out of jail and kick Phoenixes behind out of the bar cus of the sign.
I then come back in looking for vengeance. Unable to find vengeance I settle for a good looking girl instead. ;)
Ready to come back in yet.
I (the bartender who you K.O.ed) get up and ask if you would like another drink.
I go past the bar, see the fight break out, quickly run to the shop to get some popcorn, pop back and watch the scene unfold at the window...
Then I see you peeking through the window and toss you inside into the melee, and then jump in crying out the TF2 war cries, together with my faithful broccoli-mace
Seeing a big fight break out I jump through the window. I then take a chair and smash it around the back of debuxs head.
I reach under the counter and activate the bar's defence systems. Unfortunately the bar has achieved sentience and kicks us all out.
We must now ban together to take back the bar and the alcohol there in.
I take one look at the bar. It does not back down.
I phone Chuck. Chuck looks at the bar. The bar backs down.
Then I charge in with my anti-bar-defense blaster and melt through the bars defenses. I than block the door with the tables and keep another to put in the corner of the bar. I then hide behind the table with a stash of beer mugs ready to throw at anyone that appears in the window or through the door.
But then I climb to the roof with my anteater. Using Jubal's ship to break the glass roof, I jump inside and throw you the anteater, that decides to scorn you for your necroposting, and then spanks you for taking his beer mug.
any one else??
I run as fast as I can as soon as it's finished. Seeing that everyone is still standing there doing nothing I start to put "Kick Me" signs on everyones back. Than I do it. My kick is so big that they go flying back into the bar. All landing on dubux.
But as they fall on me I summon and pray for His help, and in an act of pure will he sends me His battle-hardened, veteran, over powered kittens, which proceed with some ass kciking around the bar
I summon a AoE1 Priest and they turn your kittens turn on you and gouge your eyes out. "Nununu"
I kick everybody out. THE END!
I open a new story book!
Once upon a time in the country of Scotland, in the city of Glasgow. There was a bar.
Everybody went to drink their (They are Scottish after all). Everyone was as happy as good ol' Larry. (the barman)
However, one day the whisky run out on a saturday night, the most important time of the week.
A fight broke out. And this is how it went:
(Carry on please...)
Goldy was pissed, as he was promised a free glass of whiskey, so he proceeded to blame Nightangel, who delivered his heavy argument, which was transmitted through his fist. Goldy's stomach was immediately convinced, yet he decided to...
Pick up a char and throw it at Debux in a drunken rage and fury due to no whiskey. Bebux ducked and it hit Nightangel straight in the forehead. However, this lead to.....
Khan, the awsomest necroposter ever, hearing the now fight break out. He jumps down the chimney and lands on Debux knocking him unconscious. For some strange reason he was being a coward and hid in the fireplace. He jumps out and yells "HO *hic* HO HO! *hic* WHO WANTS *hic* A PIECE OF *hic* ME!". Because there all drink debux said "MEE *hic EEE!". I pick up a stool and smash it around his head to keep him quiet.
Nightangel delivered a swift kick to Khan's groin, incapacitating him. He then suggested that the group should go raid that bar up the road. "The Green Dragon".
As I was unconscious, I didn't join the group, and when realizing what had happened, I grab the incapacitated Khan from his leg, and then tear through "The Green Dragon's" window, using Khan in a similar fashion as phoenixguard wields his famed ban-hammer
I than become unincapacitated and punched dubux in the face making him drop me and himself. I quickly get up and stumble over to the bartender and asked where the two hobbits were. The ones that were dancing on the table and he said "They left for Minus Tiruth a few years ago."
"Dam our tragets have escaped.
Muster the rohirrim!!!
I summon Jubal's mighty avatar ship, and ram you all up (don't make me say where :flashy: )
I hear everyone squeak and ring the police (the rangers) and run. A few seconds later the place is stormed and everyone is locked up for the night. 24 HOUR JAIL FIGHT!!
But then Bill Gates shows up and locks us up in separate cells, and then beats us up individually
Nah mate, no third parties. ;)
So I lock you in seperate cells, but i only beat up Mark, cause Debux follows the Bunneh. ;)
I ran :(. 24 hours is up anyway. We all go back to the bar and bash each other up again. Why? For fun.
No...
For Bunneh!!!!!
Anyways, I bash you first, knocking you unconscious
Than get right back up.
But I remove the floor right below you with my super Minecraft powers. You are not able to stand up on your feet, as there is no floor below you
And I fall one block down and unleash my herd of pigs and cattle on you and you get trampled.
I herd them in with moar blocks, blocking your way out. You are hopelessly trapped by your own hordes of cubic mammals
I dig down to the attic in the basement where all the wine is kept and get hopelessly drunk and pass out.
But then I show up. But being a good soul I decide to join you until someone shows up
Seeing that none else wants to join our Wine educed cellar fight I stomp on Debux's nuts. Sorry, I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing.
In our drunken state we break into the Batcave and steal the Batmobile.
But then Flash (the super hero) shows up and blows our Apple products away, making us vulnerable.
(See what I did there, with the fact that Ipods and Iphones don't support Flash?)
walk into bar stark naked at this point and demand your clothes, then procede to put your head in a waffle iron when you refuse
terminator FTW!
Than I walk up stares to the bar and order a beer. Back to bar fight. :P
But then I break your beer glass, making you to do the whole process of getting another beer. As you climb the stairs, I erase it with my Windows Paint Powahs
And I than get a frying pan from the kitchen and than come back out and hit Debux on the back of the head. Then I kick him in the 'Kick Me' sign that no one has bothered to take off. I wonder why.
As you sit down to wonder why no one took off the sign off my back, I show up with 14.6 tons of toilet paper. You watch amazed as it falls on top of you.
I use my super strength to throw it at you squishing you.
My Hill... LOL. Wrong topic XD
Then I use my super post-it papers and put it in your forehead, so that you never forget about the edit button. As you are busy reading the post-it, I tackle you, shoving you to the cellar.
Then I use my super noticing skill to see that you stopped complaining. Then I run over to the bar and shout a beer for every one to celebrate.
I break your post combo. The shock leaves you on the floor writhing in pain.
But then I complain. And complain. And complain some more.
All of you wish you were dead
(When did I start complaining? And welcome back Khan, I thought we had lost you :'( )
Seeing the moment of weakness I use my awesome perswasive skills to make you team up with me against Nightangle and we both kick him in the ass where the 'KICK ME!!' sign is still on his back and he flies 100,000 Km away from the bar.
Then I use my Bulletstorm powers to bring him back, to kick him again. A human yoyo, my own creation. All credits to me
YAY!! Thank you Debux. It's so fun. *kicks him again as he comes back a second time.*
Angry face.
:towar:
That's it I'm going to get my own bar, with poker and girls. Actually forget the bar.
I come in and steal the girls with my good looks and the money with the best poker face in history.
I use my "Y U NOT" face to scare them away. As you cry for the loss of the best two things that can happen to a man in life, I pick you up and dunk you into a barrel of rum
I drink it all up and drunkenly smash Debux's new dancing Mr. Bean thing.
You pass out from the alcohol.
And then wake up again.
Hangover!!1!
HANGOVER IS OVER!! YAY!!
*crickets* Umm... Anybody? At least you can pretend to be active on The Beer Cellar. There are about 15 fun forum games that aren't being used.
But then I come and interrupt you with a roundhouse kick. Then I buy drinks all round for all those that witnessed my marvelous act of bravery
I get angry and flick you in the arm. You fall unconscious.
I bite your face off as I'm induced with alcohol and cant taste the difference between your skin and flesh between my tongue.
I use my thermal vision to... uh... win. Yes. Don't ask how. You're left unconscious on the ground
Hi guys.
I'll get the whiskey.
But I knock you down for no apparent reason.
We've gotta keep it violent here guys ;D
I get my crossbow and shoot up all of the furniture and when I'm done there is a lot of blood, gore and wood chips all over the floor. (Violent enough?)
That would take a lot of bolts.
But actually the blood is ketchup, as you only hit the ketchup bottles that were on the counter. I scoop it up, throw it at you, and drown you in ketchup. Then I use my cellphone to convert Nightangel with the super invisible cellphone waves to be my faithful follower and henchman
Suddenly everything stops.
An air has descended on the bar. An air of awesome sexiness.
Then out of nowhere.
David Bowie lunches the bar into space!!!
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/231494
I invoke the power of the badgers, mushrooms, and oh! Snake... ohh, snake!
I get my lazer gun out and shoot up all of the furniture again.
I deflect the lazer gun rays with a mirror and wipe you away from the face of the earth
I come back with my Martian friends and wipe you off of the face of the Earth.
I choose to bring my Venus' friends and make them destroy mars. Your martian friend commit harakiri when they see this. Then I come with a bottle of Jack Daniels and crack it open on your thumb.
I smash the bottle and use the bottle neck as a weapon.
I counter by that by buying a new bottle with my credit card and then fence with the card. Distracting you with my attacks, my bottle comes to life and makes you trip. Then I unload a whole barrel of whiskey on top of you, making you drunk immediately.
I then come in, cry at the sight of wasted whiskey and bugger off again to my corner.
I divert a whiskey tree root to make it drip all your juice on top of you. You become instantly drunk with all that unfiltered and natural whiskey
I take no further part in this bar fight. I'm dead to the world. Or, possibly just dead.
I resurrect you. And then land a barrel on your head
So I'm dead again? Anyway, what's in the barrel?
Nah, just unconscious. The barrel is full of Portugal.
Hahaha that literally made me laugh out loud. :)
Ok well, once again I am out of the fight, but seeing as I'm doused in whiskey, I'm actually rather happy. Although being smashed by Portugal is sorta annoying.
Hey reckon you can absorb whiskey through the skin in enough quantities to get drunk? :D
You believe you're drunk with whiskey, but I remind you that the barrel is actually full of Portugal. In true Acme style, you implode after a few seconds of looking at the camera with a look of disbelief.
I think one would have to drown in whiskey to get any effect of the booze of you... and mostly because of the high probability of my drinking of what I'm in :P
So now I'm dead, or in classic Acme style, I'm just mildly incapacitated? :D
I think I'd like to try drowning in whiskey. For science of course. :shifty:
*You're not fighting back! :P*
As you try to catch up with my posting (which I try to do too :P ), I trick you into believing that the internet connection is faster in a barrel full of Portugal flavored whiskey. Because you're too busy experimenting with yourself in the barrel of whiskey, I slide the lid back into position and weld it, leaving you trapped "for science"
Honestly I'd be pretty happy with that. The reason I'm not fighting back is that I'm not seeing any problems with my situation. Trapped in a barrel of Portugal flavoured whiskey? Cool!
Although I have to say, I'm in the barrel, "experimenting" with myself sounds really dirty.
I punch a hole in your barrel to leave you trapped without your precious Portugal flavoured whiskey, because of your filthy-mindedness (why don't I notice those things when I post them?)
NOoOOoOOoOOOO!
MY WHISKEY YOU FIEND!!!!
NOW I"M REALLY ANGRY!! RARARARARAAAAARAGH!!@!
I smash my way out of that fething barrel and look for my whiskey. A fly lands in it. I pick it up, hold it really close and shout, "SPIT IT OUT DAMN YOU, SPIT IT OUT!"
I give the fly superhuman strength to give you a huge "whamo!", in true comic book style, to your face. As you lie on the ground, I give him speech, he yells back at you:
"YO NO HABLO INGLES COÑO!"
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?!?" :P
The fly answers: "Dat ik geen Engels spreek, ik ben alleen maar een vlieg!" And politely asks you to get up to continue your beating.
I do so. But probably because, while you gave him the power of speech, you didn't do it very well. Speech doesn't work if you're unintelligible.
I completely ignore my ignorance of the word "unintelligible" and morph the talking fly into a griffon. You are completely awed to see your own avatar about to give you a really hurtful handshake
I return the handshake, ignoring the foot long talons embedded in my arm. After said handshake, the Gryphon realises I am a worthier master and serves me instead. You're in for it now Debuz.
Ugh... darn!
I summon a Gryphon hunter that brings three tons of Portugal flavoured whiskey. Your beloved Gryphon abandons you.
By abandon, do you mean, he's dead? And for that matter you can have the Gryphon back if you give me that Portugal flavoured whiskey. ;)
I then walk in. You all stop what you are doing and look up in disbelief, for a female has entered your presence. I continue through to the bar, sit down and calmly ask for a bottle of rum.
I like rum. Rum's good.
Yes it is. I am then told that there is no more rum. I, pause, look to the sky and say to myself, 'Why is the rum always gone?'
Oh. That's why.
I get up dissapointed and stomp off to sit in a dark corner, out of the light, where I belong.
Nobody move! I dropped me brain!
My peanut.
*BANG!*
Me being who I am dodges the bullet which is easy to do, because we all know that guns are a silly weapon and shall never replace a good old trusty sword :) I then grab my bastard sword and crack you over the head with the hilt knocking you unconscious. You are lucky your my friend mate, otherwise you would be dead. ;)
I use my crossbow, and menace to use it against you because of my level 9001 in crossbow usage in Warband
Dirty cheat. :P
While verbally harranguing you, I surprise you all with a huge Scottish Claymore that surprisingly no one noticed before when I brought it in. While looking at you menacingly, Portugal explodes causing you to drop your crossbow which fires the bolt into your knee. Surprised once again, you accidentally set fire to the rest of your ammunition. Seeing as our previous exertations have left us covered in whiskey, we all go up in flames along with the bar.
We need a new bar.
I find a new bar, sit at it with my sword, and a bottle of rum, waiting expectantly for the fun to begin *evil chuckle* ;)
I enter. I'm accompanied by two hookers and a blind parrot and I'm looking for an empty seat somewhere in the corner. Oh I almost forgot. I parked my car two blocks away.
I crash into the bar, driving your car through the window. Then I climb out, and calmly sit down next to SW and ask for half a beer for both of us.
I bring over half a beer for both of you. But I drop one. Both of you need to deal with the awkwardness of trying to figure out who misses out.
I then save you from the awkwardness by taking the beer off Phoenixguard and drinking it myself (I had finished the rum you see)
Quote from: debux on July 23, 2011, 06:17:20 AM
I crash into the bar, driving your car through the window.
I'll be damned, you stole my plan! That's why I parked my car two blocks away from the bar!
No problem, I consider beer non alcoholic. I order four Earthquakes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earthquake_%28cocktail%29) and a bottle of rum for my blind parrot.
But what about the hookers!? Don't forget the hookers!
Anyway, what the hell are you, Russian?
nawww you guys are so lucky, the hookers are no use to me :(
Because you said that, and the fact you have two stars and I only have one, I call in FPSRussia and blow up the seat you were sitting on.
Quote from: phoenixguard09 on July 23, 2011, 01:25:35 PM
But what about the hookers!? Don't forget the hookers!
Anyway, what the hell are you, Russian?
No. They can't drink right now. They're busy. (http://www.ums-agram.hr/forums/images/smilies/whistling.gif)
And I'm not Russian... I just like strong drinks.
My parrot is drunk again and it's vomiting in a 360 degrees angle. (http://www.ums-agram.hr/forums/images/smilies/drunk.gif)
Quote from: phoenixguard09 on July 22, 2011, 08:34:54 AM
Dirty cheat. :P
While verbally harranguing you, I surprise you all with a huge Scottish Claymore that surprisingly no one noticed before when I brought it in. While looking at you menacingly, Portugal explodes causing you to drop your crossbow which fires the bolt into your knee. Surprised once again, you accidentally set fire to the rest of your ammunition. Seeing as our previous exertations have left us covered in whiskey, we all go up in flames along with the bar.
We need a new bar.
"Phoenix! What the hell are you doing with my sword!?"
I yell as I fall for the sky on wings of fire.
You run over to get it from him and realise that he is on the floor unconcious, and I now have possesion of the sword. And I would really like to see you try and take it from me. :D *evil smile*
I use my mental powers to call Aquaman and make your pretty little sword rusty with water.
You fool!
Do you have any idea what you just did, without the Sword of Bars, Baropia will be created.
(All the bars, pubs and clubs in the universe fuse to create Baropia the planet of bars. The shadiest most run down places are found on the surface and the deeper you go the classier it gets.)
I'm in deep!
EDIT* It was only after posting that I realised how wrong that looks. But I'll leave it.
bahahaha awww thats good.
I don't really get it. I'm either too tired or to stupid...
I order Martini for everyone. Served up, shaken, not stirred. A bit wet with an olive for a savory note.
I'll get mine substituted for whiskey. Its a real drink. ;) But thanks for the shout Silver. :D
I'm so drunk I start yelling insults at your drinks. Once I summon enough courage, I charge right into the central column supporting the bar. It caves in.
Bugger....
Now we need a new bar again. DEBUZ!
Bahahahahaha. Ahhhhh well I found the last one, its someone elses turn.
*CN2 opens up a new bar* Come on in! Plenty of drinks to go around ;)
Be warned... I keep a shovel behind the bar.
I walk throught the door and sit down to have some rum.
*gives some rum* On the house to the first customer :)
Nawww thank you! Your so sweet :D
(http://www.instructables.com/image/F4CLN3LFXP6OHQK/How-to-make-ANYTHING-awesome-face.jpg)
Lol females, always getting special treatment.
Pshaww. And who says chivalry is dead.
Nawww thats adorable! You can have a really good tip cause your so sweet. Hell, poor one for yourself theres no one else here yet! Come join me and Phoenixguard.
Why thank'e lassie :) I think I may join you. Free drinks for the next hour!
I'll... just leave you guys alone
No! Your not allowed to leave! *Drags Debux back in*
Silver Wolf passes by running an important errand.
I'll be back.
I walk in with my waistcoat, jazz hat and sax.
"Lady and Gentelmen, I am your entertainment for tonight."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fya-4TbURNc&feature=related
Oh forgot this was an open mike bar ;)
I can sing if you want to do a duet.
I CAN SING!
One song.
"Cause I'm a cowboy,
On a steel horse I ride..."
:P Who am I kidding? I can't sing. :D
Ill sing with you, if you will want me to? :')
Silver Wolf orders a song, picks up a microphone and starts singing :
Spoiler
♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ We're no strangers to looooove....
You know the rules, and so do I.....
♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
I'll record some singing when I get in tomorrow.
I get the Microphone and smash it over Silver Wolf's head. :P
P.S. "Bar FIGHT Arena." Look at the name.
I then grab said Microphone and smash YOU over the head with it, laughing as you hit the floor passed out.
Did you like my singing Lady Hawk?
*Gets the shovel out* Just in case.
Very nice Nightangel. We should do a duet. XD I draw, as Jubal said, pull out a scary looking bladed weapon. Start me if you dare!!
Started *You randomly fall over unconscious*. I jump back up and grab a support beam and charge at CN2 with it.
Im not passed out, but merely faking it and jump up and run towards you slamming into you and sending you skidding across the floor away from CN2. I sink into a fighting stance with my sword draw, calm and waiting.
You sink into a fighting stance and keep sinking. I may have liquidated the floor there a little bit.
I as usual relax behind the bar and keep watching the fun.
*Gets Jubal a drink*
*Sits next to Jubal & CN2.* What up ma' niggas?
Sup man. Just chilling, watching the violence flare up in my new bar. Needs to be worn in ya know ;)
CN2 falls over and I step on his head... it was an accident... or was it?
It wasn't an accident. Its also why Mark's not allowed in this bar. He's too violent. :P
XD too bad. It's fun. It's bar FIGHT arena. FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!! Oh and I've got a sword now... "COME GET ME!"
I also have my sword, BRING IT ON!!
No. YOU bring it on you wimp!! *A shield appears on my arm ready to defend*
FIGHT ME!!! THEN I WILL SHOW YOU WHO IS THE WIMP!
*Has a kickass sword and amazing sheild*
NO!!! YOU FIGHT ME!!! You're a girl??? Oh sorry.
*Puts down sword and shield and turns to punch phoenix in the face*
HEY!!
*throw weapons to the ground and launches at The Khan and tackles him to the ground*
AAHHHH!!! WHERE DO I HIT!! SHE'S A GIRL!! GET HER OFF!! HEEEELLLPP!!
GO FOR THE BOOBS!!!
(.) (.) O.O Wait a second... is my girlfriend watching... no... good.
*hits Lady Hawk in the boobs* "Squishy"
Curb-stomp?
EDIT: Can't hit girls mate, it's against the "rules."
*kicks The Khan in the stomah* grrrrrrrrrrrr
*Drags you away a buys you a drink.*
Then kick Khan again for good measure. Don't want to gang up on the poor bugger. But you deserve the kick mate. You hit a girl. :D
I can look after myself!
*downs drink, kicks Khan again, and goes to find Nightangel, finds him and hits him for helping Khan, sits back down with another drink, glaring at all of you daring you too approch me*
Poor bloody Khan.
Although I lol'd at NA's advice. It can be followed in all walks of life. :D
Talking to the barman: "Seven whiskeys if you please?"
The next part of our story is based on real real life story of Silver Wolf™ :
Talking to the barman: "One hundred vodkas, please."
You sad,sad,sad soul... SMACK!!
(That was a punch just so you all know XD)
Not a bitch-slap? I mean you hit a girl, I wouldn't put it past you. :D
Like the caring gentleman I am, I'll help SW up and proceed to help him with his vodka. By drinking most of it. :D
I tackle you both to the floor at the same time while you are 15 meters away from each other. Epic Ninjaness. Than I drink all of the 15 shots of vodka left all at once. ;D
Sorry Khan, wrong bar. I'm still standing.
Khan you hit me, so, I hit you again!!
SORRY!!! *runs away squealing*
HAHAHAHA, thats right!! I rule hehehehe, this bar is now mine!! XD
*to the repeat crossbows with unlimited ammo randomly hanging on the wall* TAKE THIS!! *the air fills with literally tons of bolts*
*Drops to ground, everyone missing me*
*sigh* *yawn* *stretch* *gets a throwing axe from the wall as well and throws it at the roof. It falls down on our heads (the roof)*
Not me. I'm doing a hand-stand for no discernable reason. I kick the roof back into place.
It flies to the moon and falls back down on top of us again.
Thankfull, everyone else but you Khan realises the danger and gets out of the way, however you are there staring at the roof with a vacant look on your face. XD Hahahahaha ouch, thats going to hurt. *Laughs at your misfortune*
A chunk of roof is floating a meter above my face as the rest of it falls around me. I'm secretly a wizard. I use my wizard powers to throw the chunk of roof at you.
I am a witch, and much much stronger than you! Haha, I blow you and the piece of roof out of the bar.
well, that's when dimos calls the inquisition. Ladyhawk is thrown in prison and I simply walk peacefully at the bar.
I say to my bartender: One bourbon, one scoth and one Beer ... :D booze
Meanwhile, in the wine cellar....
Night Angel: "DRINKING ABILITY!!!"
BA! You fools!! I am the most powerfull being to have ever walked this Earth, no mere Jail could hold me. Lightning flashes and thunder rumbles as I stride back into the bar, sit down next to Dimos and askes for a rum. ;)
*Throws his Whiskey away* :D >:(
If you make a moove you're a dead-hawk! 8) And NightAngel get your face off my booze! ;D
Hahahahaha, BRING IT! Fight me then! You shall LOSE!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Don't go seeking for trouble, said Dimos to the HAWK ;)
PS: Peace can be obtained in 2 ways. Either they do that willingly or you make them do that. 8)
I give you all a strange look and move to a bar that actually has a roof and four walls. ;D
I drag you back by your hair. XD
I'm bald. :\
Hmmmm, by the neck of your shirt then :)
He's got no shirt.
That's why ladyhawks drags him from the skin in the same time that I enter the scene and use my super-dooper mafia cabrio-car to shoot them with my canons... :o
Awesomenes! Dare ya meddle with me? ;D
I dodge. *ninja*
They all bend around me because of my apocalyptic power.
I grab my sword and shield and run towards your side. :D :) -GLORY-
You trip and send your sword flying through the air to stab Ladyhawk95 in the back.
I reach around and pull the sword out of my back, and look around. Help Dimos of the ground and give him back his sword, and turn around to stare straight at you Khan.
O.O I run to the end of the world and jump off.
Hahaha, fear me. XD
I climb back up the end of the world. :) Then I stab you in the back again and again and again. Than I run and jump back off again.
Oh, now your really starting too piss me off XD
I urge Ladyhawks to charge with me and with a SPARTA-KICK we throw you from the end of the world in the COLUMN OF HERCULES and now you live with some monkeys, jaguars and other animals and some indian people in the Americas... :D
Yeah! Lets do it! XD
I stab you in the back again than back to th edge and say to Dimos "Careful, she's about to rage.". XD
An absolute explosion of power eminates from me. Blasting everything out of the way. Khan is blown backwards. Thankfully I was not furious, so I was able to spare Dimos.
XD The last 14 post are either by me, you or Dimos. I go back to the bar and shout everyone a drink. The fight is over... for now. :D
I, spared from the powers of the strongest magical being of exilian (Ladyhawk) , have a drink on those who will jump with brainwashed-war minds... :( :o
Haha Im calm now. I shall join you both for a good drink :)
So... Ladyhawk. How are you. Not too sore are you? ;) *sips some Pepsi-Cola*
No, Im all good thank you. *takes a swig od sacra, for I had finished the rum* what about yourself?
I'm just dandy. *sculls down a 600ml bottle of pure spirits* Just *hic* just dandy *hic*.
Why are you so friendly? do you want a punch by the mighty undead dimo-saurus to submit to his supreme majesticness??
Walks in, tips a cowboy hat in the direction of the bar.
"Howdy. I'd like a whiskey."
Then sits down in the corner over the drink. Brooding.
walks over to Phoenixguard, sits beside him and gives him a good old slap on the back,
''Cheer up buddy''
Slides a tall glass of sacra over to him.
*Grabs his pistols and sits next to Phoenixguard and Ladyhawk*
Do you want some company? :) I'll smash you later... Loosers... ;D
pulls sword out just in case
* Takes off a gigantic Hammer of Doom... *
Do you see that? :o
Want to fight me? think twice! ;D
Full of Irish courage, swinging a claidheamh mor, I take the fight to this unpleasant sod who has dared to impinge upon a woman in a public place.
"How dare you sir!"
(Sorry Dimos, I'm in character mate. :P )
*pulls out a timed bomb with 1 second left on it*
:o
Creates magical shield around self. Anyone who want to be protected, start pleading XD
Through the sheer awesomeness of a claymore I'm impervious to the blast.
Between us, I'm pretty sure we saved everyone LH. :P
Hehe I would have to agree there Buddy XD
A whole day. Use common sense. It's not counting down. XD
Whether it blows up or not, we're safe. For that matter we have saved you all as well.
So have a drink on me!
I wasn't even in danger. Whoops, I don't think I was meant to press that button. :o BOOM!! BANG!!
Meh I'm safe.
Whiskey anyone?
Ohhh yes please. :D
One Scotch for meh, buddy.
*I pull out my machine-gun* and be quick, or ya'll die! (ok, pg I'm on character too, dude!)
YAY!!! LOVE THE NECROING!!!
I get shot bye Dimos's machine gun. Wee woo wee woo, goes the ambulance.
The ambulance blows up and you go flying like in the cartoons and go strait though the roof and land on the floor.
I get up, finding im actually not punctured by any of the bullets and walk down the steps and into the bar area.
Then I'll have to use my bazuka hyper-gun ;)
I pull out my sword, just in case. Still drinking thw whisky. Lots and lots and lots and lots of whisky. And yet, I keep drinking.
Scotch for Dimos, whiskey for Ladyhawk and even more whiskey for me.
DeathNade can get a band-aid and Khan, a psychologist.
btw, I press the hidden button and the floor collapses and you all end up in the Cellar which is locked and barred. I take all the booze for me and I whistle to my loyal horse... :)
But she does not apear so I steal hawk's motorcycle (which is faster than mine) and I get a basket next to it, in which I put the liquors and then I kick-start my bike! :) grrrrrrmmmmrrr
I jump out, freeze time, drink the booze and go back to "Green Dragon" Inn that was recently rebuilt.
I blast my way out of the cellar using my mad skills and join Khan for a drink.
I give Ladyhawk a drink and say "Theres enough for everyone... except for Poenix"
I'm gladly joining your group... But I'm sorry, once you drink 1 glass you'll be again thrown to the cellar! :o ;D
Jump out again.
I don't care if there's not enough for me, I shall have my whiskey damn you!
Quote from: Phoenixguard09 on December 18, 2011, 03:27:53 AM
I don't care if there's not enough for me, I shall have my whiskey damn you!
You won't have it, it's all mine!
Quote from: The Khan on December 18, 2011, 01:38:09 AM
Jump out again.
You're out? Then go and clean my stables... My horses produce so much ... unclean substances... :)
Still drinking at the bar.
I ignore Dimos and join Ladyhawk at the bar.
Good company is always welcome :)
I'll use my dual colt pistols and get rid of those double troubles... I step over the dead bodies of Khan and Ladyhawk an ship some whiskey... Then I take a Martini bottle, so as I'll taste some dry martini ;)
I also need some chaviar... who will bring me that? ;D
I CAN NOT BE KILLED BUT WITH FIRE!!!!
I jump up and stab Dimos through the heart with my awesome sword of awesomeness. Taking his life and then his drink! As I sip my new drink, I bring back Khan with my magic and give him one too.
Problem here? I am ''the heartless man'' BEWARE!
YOUR MAGIC DOOM APROACHES! ;D ;D ;D
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dimos: *Dials the secret number*
Ladyhawk: Are you calling the 911 COPS?
Dimos: No it's the Roman Inquisition; they will burn you at the stake!
Ladyhawk: I don't think soooooo......
[german nazi]: *enters the scene with a flamethrower and throws his fiery hell to the witch*
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Was it more epic than bollywood? ;)
Ok stepping in here...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEBFMnZcc5Q&t=12s
....that is all.
(http://t0ak.roblox.com/2ee703077f000a84225c286b4ab9bde7)
I ignore comrade_gens post by posting marvelous me here. Now, raise and praise me as your king of the bar
No chance. I rule the bar. XD
You're burned... I rule!
I am the bar-rulerrrrr :) grrrrr 8)
I'm double the mass of Silvester Stalone and Arnold Swatzenegger ;D ;D ;D
I then sneak up behind you and slit your throat with my knife.
I am ruler!! XD I am Queen!!
As I die I curse you not to taste any of the bar's liquor, before revenge is taken...
*waits silently at the graveyard outside for REVENGE to come* :)
Now everyone's dead, I think this bar's mine ;)
Nope! Just Chuck Testa (who actually was taxerdimized by me!). Who fall backwards in disbelief of my cunning ploy.
Fear the awakening of the dead.
*The whole scene gets foggy and suddedly great master dimos appears along with shadows of deceased people and grabs all aliens and throws them outside in the chill. That's how I ship the finest Scotch whiskey availiable.* :o
FEAR the rise of the DEAD!
What should be feared even more is the greatest sorcorer that will ever roam this world. ME! Sends a lightning bolt at Dimos. Killing him instantly.
I then sit down at the bar and have a drink. Fully able to TASTE!
I can't be killed, I'm already dead. I drink much wine and then along with all dead zombies we start a dance macabre...
Then you see to the storm outside of the window. A tall, hooded figure looks at you. Instantly you're killed; by DEATH :o *Shock!*
Nope, death is my best friend. Its really you he killed.
Yes I was killed by death, but he was afraid of me and he let me go. Now I've come to take my revenge! And all of your booozzeee my evil plan is starting muahahah muahahahah! ;)
And you are afraid of me! XD So I win.
What is death, when you have DJ Cat within your sig? It's block rockin' beats nullify the difference between life and death
It's like attending a symposium on biogenetics.
*Shots down Comrade General*
Hey, doctor debux, nurse Ladyhawk, your drinking ''symbosium'' [symbosium in greek means to drink together with somebody] can continue... Ah! And F@ck biogenetics, just pass me the Rum bottle... :D
Meanwhile thousands of miles away...
"Ha ha ha!
I Night Angel King of Scotland have placed massive taxes on the whisky.
Ha ha ha!"
:) Then, I'll simply change my Scotch whiskey for a bourbon one... ;)
Problem solved... :) :D
... which has been poisoned by me.
Heh, sorry 'bout that, fellah
I got the antidote and drink the bourbon that's been poisoned by Debux and than I drink the antidote.
Well I am the only human being to produce a neuro-toxin capable of winning over the poison. The Khan's andidote was fake, I sold it to him for 6 bucks and now he's bleeding to ''heaven'' ... and I am simply enjoying my poisoned whiskey...
Dimos for the win, fellahs! ;)
I thought the Bourbons were a noble family of kings and generals in France...
Oh wait, they were.
*Bourbon troops invade, take all salted peanuts from the bar, Jubal and troops leave to enjoy salted nutty goodness elsewhere.*
Hahahahahah... We have a saying down here, Jubaaaal! Arghh ''Peanuts are half the magic of drinking'' ...
Drunkard Army! INVADE! ;) THOU SHALT ME TAKEN AWAY OUR DRUNK FOOD. ;D ;D ;D
I drink the antidote Bourbon (troops [I'm a vampire]).
good kahn, now, let us assemble our forces before we can assault Jubals BOURBON troops and tae back our bourbon whiskeys!!
Then we can fight about the spoils... and forget about the ice...
*take and *Khan
I'd rather Whiskey Bourbon though.
Bourbon biscuits are the best thing related to Bourbon.
I get a massive one and smash it on the top of your head. :D
(1000 posts Jubal!!! HERE I GO!!!!)
I smash your heads with bottles of precious liquor and wine!
Dimos for the WIN
I take the smashed bottle neck and stab you with it. *stabby stab stab*
I throw a table.
*catches table, places it down, sits at it*
*picks table up at bashes you on the head with it*
I take out my revolver and shoot around the bar... I think I hit some of you, right? ;)
I pick up another table and use it as a shield. A bullet goes through the table and grazes me on the arm. (Just to be fair)
Bingo! ;) So what will you do to stop me? I'm getting ready for a new volley of fire!
Use the shield as a table. ;D
nO! I think you'll be hit again...
Fire!
i
r
e
!
The recoil sends you flying. O.o
I pick up a glass bottle full of urine and smash it over CG's head. ^-^
I walk in to the tavern, take one look, turn around and walk straight back out again.
I chase after Tom and tackle him to the ground.
I elbow you in the face and roll away.
I stand up and kick you.
I pocket sand you in the face and try to run again
I clear my eyes out and chase after you wielding a baseball bat.
I hit you with a tire iron.
My UMP 45 has something to say about that *sneak attack*
I use a plasma shield to deflect your UMP 45 bullets.
I sit back and watch as the plasma super-heats the bullets creating nice cauterized holes in Khan's body.
Now I'm holy. :3
I through CG at Colossus, after using him as a human shield from the UMP bullets.
I sneak up on Khan and swing at him with my lightsaber.
I duck and use my own lightsaber to deflect yours.
I am amazed at how you produced a lightsaber from seemingly nowhere. In a blaze of light I sweep my blade towards your head in a feint before cutting downwards at your shoulder.
I jump backwards as I swing my lightsaber to deflect yours and immediately jump forward and thrust my lightsaber at you chest.
I smile, amused, and offer another pint to anyone who wants one.
I accept and after I'm finish I throw the cup at you.
I back-hand the cup out of the way and it crashes into the ceiling, showering broken glass on the next poster...
Whoever they are!
The glass cuts me to ribbons and I die.
But I'm a zombie.
I get bitten and turn into a zombie. Me and CG are hungry for brains.
(http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/277/8/6/eat_all_the_brains__an_x_all_the_ys_meme_by_ilovethemakorrafluff-d5gqwu2.jpg)
Nom nom nom Jubal's brain!
I grab a handy chainsaw and decapitate khan
I pick my head up and put it back on. I seem to be human again! :D
I drop the chainsaw and swing a right hook towards your head.
I jump over it (I'm a good jump alright) and kick at your head.
I catch your foot, spin you around and throw you against the wall.
I go through the wall and into the next room, which has a sword in it. I pick it up and jump out of the hole in the wall swinging it at you.
You somehow run backwards into my knife. 37 times.
I pull the knife out of my back and throw it at you.
I dive in front of the knife, catching it between my teeth whilst dual wielding deagles firing them at you.
I dive in front of the bullet, catching it between my teeth whilst now wielding dual miniguns and I shoot you up.
I duck down behind an unfeasibly bulletproof table to take cover as you erroneously riddle my identical twins body with bullets.
I throw the miniguns aside and run towards the table whilst magically conjuring two swords, one in either hand. I jump over the table with a slash and a stab.
I parry one blow with my arm and take the stab through the chest. With a herculean effort I pick you up and slam you down over my knee.
I roll off of your knee and pick up the table, bringing it down over your head.
My head goes through the table and wearing my new collar with pride I punch you in the face.
I go flying into the far wall. I slowly get up and run over. I pick up the table with you in it and throw it out the door.
I roll out of the door, coming too rest against a wall. I pull the table off of my head and frisbee it back in to the bar at you.
I dive and catch it and before landing again throw it back at you.
I catch it, drop it to the ground and grab a pike, charging back at you with it lowered.
I dodge and jump to the side and grab the shaft of the pike and try to pry it from your hands.
I push it in to your body, forcing you away from me and letting go of it. I draw my short sword and stab at you.
I parry with the shaft of the pike and throw it in the air while I do heaps of back flips and such until I am at the other end of the room. I than proceed to throw ninja stars at you.
I dodge the ninja stars matrix style but on my last dodge I mistime it and it hits me in the face. With a ninja star sticking out of my forehead and blood pouring in to my eyes, I charge towards trying to get you within my grasp.
I don't see you coming as I was to busy doing my victory dance and you knock me to the ground.
I pummel your face repeatedly, your head bouncing off of the floorboards with each blow.
And it's bouncing because it's made of rubber. It bounces higher and higher each time and eventually bounces me back to my feet. I kick at you still on the ground.
I catch your kick with my face, absorbing the impact with my skull. I stand up and pull out a hand grenade, I pull the pin with my teeth and holding the lever thingy to the side I stare you down.
I pull out a tennis racket as I step back a few paces. I grin at you.
I drop the hand grenade on the ground and dive at you so you can't volley it back at me.
I attempt to play tennis with your head.
You succeed, separating my head from my body with a savage forehand. I bumble over to it, pick it up and screw it back on.
I chuck you a tennis bat and unscrew my head and serve it to you.
I volley your head out of the window and charge at you, beating you with my tennis 'bat'.
I shield myself with my hands as I ran out the door and look for my missing head.
I throw the racket after you and start throwing cricket balls at you.
I pick up the racket you threw at me thinking it's my head and screw it back on. I can see!
The cricket balls punch right through your new face and come out the other side.
But every hole in the racket is an eye. :)
I continue to sit behind the bar, coolly sipping an orange juice.
I get bored of waiting for Tom to physical abuse me and join you with some milk.
I sit down and order a lager.
I Sit down order a lager, down it, then tap Khan on the shoulder in a angry stance.
I stand up and throw my bar stool at GMD pre-emptively.
I dip Tom into the french fry oil.
You guys just don't get it do you? I'm not stuck in here with you - YOU'RE STUCK IN HERE WITH ME! :balrog:
I take a bite out of my fried flesh and hit you with a skillet.
The skillet finds the titanium plate in my bum which causes it to ricochet back at you where it hits your funny bone.
I collapse on to the floor crying in pain as my arm tingles :(
I kick your feet out as I'm writhing on the floor :P
I take another sip of my milk and start a staring contest with Jubal. *stare*
I get up off the floor, dust myself off, jump over the bar and begin pouring myself a drink while watching the fight.
*stare* *stare* *stare*
I continue to writhe around on the floor because it's fun :)
I emulate this meme:
(http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/725/desk_flip.jpg)
I continue to stare a Jubal, he will blink before me! (I also start kicking hum under the table to make him blink.)
I continue to writhe on the ground.
I finish my drinking and poke Jubal in the eye forcing him to blink. Then i grin at him satisfied :D.
I call one of my pangolin minions, who throws GMD's drink in his face for insolence. Then pours him a new one because I'm nice like that.
I grin, because I am clearly the winner! So I get up and stomp on GMD's foot.
I finish my freshly poured drink and smash the glass over Khans head
I pour myself a cold orange juice and watch the show. :)
I get up and headbutt Khan in the face
I flip that table which Jubal sits at.
I move back behind the bar. :P
I flip the bar.
The bar revolves when flipped, revealing a second bar with a different range of refreshing beverages.
I pour myself a pomegranate juice. :P
I flip your pomegranate juice into my mouth. It tastes nice.
I pour you another pomegranate juice. You could just have asked.
Well that you anyway. May I have another?
I destroy all the pomegranate juice in the bar.
That's good, now I feel like pomegranite juice.
I slap you across the face for your insolence.
I drink a pomegranete juice instead. ;D
I cry.
I sleep.
I party.
I change the music to somethine nobody likes, and turn it up LOUD
I dance and sing to it anyway.
"And I was like baby, baby, baby ooooh! Like baby, baby, baby noooo! Like baby, baby, baby ooooh! Thought you'd always be mine, mine!"
I actually flip out and beat Khan to a bloody pulp until he stops singing. Then I go back behind the bar.
I may be being an evil bartending overlord, but I have standards damn it. :P
I turn off the terrible noise.
I look around anxiously.
I leave. It's gotten too quiet.
I start playing spoons, and pouring another round of drinks.
I rejoin the throng in order to watch the spoon performance.
I break out the didgeridoo. Armadillo just got real.
I break out in epic didgeridoo dance.
Are you saying that Armadillo was never real until now? :o
How Can Armadillo Be Real If It Just Got Real
Because it just got real! :o
I walk into the bar of the Beer Cellar. It's a long time since anyone used this place: ten years is more than enough for the bloodstains on the walls to have dried.
A discarded didgeridoo lies behind the bar, and there's a mirrored surface behind a row of bottles of drink, each covered in a thick layer of dust. My hair didn't have grey streaks when I was in here last. Some of the wine is still unopened: there being nothing wrong with a bit of extra vintage, I fumble for a corkscrew. It takes a bit of finding, and the drawer is jammed, but eventually I pull it open and find it, in its old spot again.
A short while later, the heavy, heady scent of a good saperavi floats out of the opened bottle. I don't think I knew what a saperavi was when I was last here, but as this place mutates to its inhabitants, the drink I think of now is here - and always was, a shared imaginary having little relationship to fussy notions like causality.
We held bar fights in here once: indeed, this place exists entirely as the scope for a bar fight. What does that mean, twelve years after the first beer was ordered and nine after the last punch was thrown? What scope does the Bar Fight Arena have when all that remains is a weary-eyed academic sipping wine where the excitement used to be? Is the fight over, or is this duel between philosophy and ennui now the true scope of the bar fight? Was a fight with no winner really a fight to start with?
I sip the wine. And leave a crowbar by the door - just for old times' sake.
I open the door, water dripping from my grey cloak. Without lowering my hood, I head for the bar, one hand on the hilt of my sword.
"I hear this was once a good place for a fight."
I take a seat at the bar and cast my eye over the blood stains...
I open the secret back gates and unleash the GELATINOUS CUBES
Because I have nothing better to do and this seems like it might be entertaining.
I walk into the establishment, remove my top hat and cape, and hang them on the hat stand.
A quick glance around bar reveals quite the kerfuffle. I roll up my sleeves and ready my fists in the queensbury style, and take a big swing at the nearest cube.
I throw a lit candle at the cubes to see what happens. I'm pretty sure this bar is mostly flameproof, how badly can it go wrong?