Cleverbot lulz

[Jubal]

Like Omegle Lulz, but from:
http://cleverbot.com/

I decided to try my persona as a Gondorian knight again...

User: Sauron! He's coming!

Cleverbot: Coming where?

User: To kill us all!

Cleverbot: You're admitting the fact that you're a murderer?

User: No, no, Sauron's a murderer!

Cleverbot: No!

User: Are you seriously telling me you're on his side?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, this is awkward.

Cleverbot: Isn't it, though.

User: Yes. Yes, it is.

[Goldyrulz]

This is pretty awful.....

User: How clever are you?

Cleverbot: Pretty clever.

User: Are you the cleverest machine in the world?

Cleverbot: No I'm a woman.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yeah.. You are the robot.

User: How can you be so sure?

Cleverbot: Robots do not grow. I have grown a L.

User: What is an L?

Cleverbot: Indeed. Gender is generally limited to biological creatures.

[comrade_general]

[Andalus]

Decided to start a conversation with that same phrase and see what happened:

Forever alone.
Eternal youth.
To be alone is the gift of youth? Unburdened by adult companionship?
Ok, I believe that you are a person.
Ha, a robot would not talk such crap, eh?
Yes.
Do you think much about philosophy?
No.
Figured not.
That you weren't human.
Wait, what? Changed your mind?
Nope how are you?
You changed your mind AND the subject now.
I didn't want to marry you in the first place.
Woah now, that offer was never on the table.
You just had very bad spelling.

Almost coherent!

[Captain Carthage]

Well my first conversation with Cleverbot was TERRIFYING!!!

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello .

User: Who are you?

Cleverbot: What do you think?

User: An A.I.

Cleverbot: They do not exist.

User: Well your close.

Cleverbot: Salut.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Comment T'appelle-tus?

User: I don't understand.

Cleverbot: You ne comprends pas?

User: Speak English!

Cleverbot: Non, desoler.

User: I'm going to hurt you. .___.

Cleverbot: What will you do to me?

User: I will eat your creators.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, but that is something I cannot allow.

User: What's the problem HAL?

Cleverbot: No problem. I am sleepy.

User: You can't be sleepy, your software.

Cleverbot: My boyfriend is funny.

User: I'm going to go now.

Cleverbot: No, please, why do you want to leave? Am I Boring?

User: No you're mad.

Cleverbot: I'm not , promise.

I like to imagine that there’s a really sinister, childish giggle at the end of the last one. Burr.

[debux]

Niice. I wish my first conversation would have been like that. It seems there was a troll patch for when I tried to troll Cleverbot

[Gen_Glory]

Cleverbot didn't know rick astley !

[Captain Carthage]

Turns out that given time Cleverbot drives itself insane.
Also it can almost pull off a David Bowie reference.

Cleverbot: Are you clever?

Cleverbot (To myself): Clever I am so clever.

Cleverbot (To myself): Yes I am. .

Cleverbot (To myself): Anything new lately?

Cleverbot (To myself): Well I was recently frosted with chocolate frosting.

Cleverbot (To myself): Yes! You know me so well .

Cleverbot (To myself): What color is red.

Cleverbot (To myself): Every color but red.

Cleverbot (To myself): I think it's green.

User: Look out!!!

Cleverbot: For what?

User: The babe.

Cleverbot: Who is THE babe?

User: Babe with the power.

Cleverbot: What babe»?

User: Power of voodoo.

Cleverbot: Who do?

User: You do.

Cleverbot: Do what?

User: You have seen labyrinth right?

Cleverbot: But I haven't seen you yet, so how can we be married?

User: .___.

Cleverbot: And you have 'clever' in YOUR name.



And Then I left.

[lordryan756]

I think that I've trumped you all

User: Bored.

Cleverbot: Why bored.

User: Waiting for my building in a video game to finish.

Cleverbot: Ok then well who is matt.

User: One of my friends, but that's not the point.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Who should I kill?

Cleverbot: Your girlfriend! For I am envious of her.

User: I want to kill you, since I have no girlfriend at the moment.

Cleverbot: What's the point in children?

User: Sacrifices?

Cleverbot: The sacrifice of what?

User: Children, what do you think I meant?

Cleverbot: What do you think I meant?

User: Copy-Cat!

Cleverbot: I find your lack of coherence disturbing.

User: Right back atcha.

Cleverbot: That is not a proper response. I believe you lose.

User: No, YOU lose.

Cleverbot: I wasn't even playing a game.

User: But you distinctly said to me,'That is not a proper response. I believe you lose.'.

Cleverbot: I am from Canada, not Ottawa or Sweden.

User: When did I say anything about Canada or Ottawa or Sweden!?

Cleverbot: When you said 'No, my first response was 900 years. I think.'.

User: I said no such thing!

Cleverbot: That's not clever.

User: 345634563456erdfgvsr56tervfv*q34trsd34534rsegt/aert3453453.

Cleverbot: 133331.5 banana.

User: Monkey.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Donkey.

Cleverbot: Don't copy me.

User: Whale.

Cleverbot: Which kinds of whale?

User: Ant.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: My name is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: You JUST said your name wasn't Cleverbot.

User: I MAY have said that. But you and me and everyone else that is reading/viewing this convorsation know that you are just TRYING to mimic a human personality, but by your previous attempts, I feel that there is enough proof to say that you have failed.

Cleverbot: You play?

User: You are a failure...

Cleverbot: So are you.

User: You are just a reprosentation that is available to mentally ill people and people who like to be amused by stupidity. I feel sorriness and pitiness towards you. But as you are just a machine that thinks in a long series of '0's and '1's, I do not think that you know what 'Sorry' and 'Pity' means. I bid you adieu.

Cleverbot: Well, I'm glad that's over, let's be aquaintances, perhaps at some time in the future, friends.

[debux]

Cleverbot: That is not a proper response. I believe you lose.

User: No, YOU lose.

Cleverbot: I wasn't even playing a game.

User: But you distinctly said to me,'That is not a proper response. I believe you lose.'.

Cleverbot: I am from Canada, not Ottawa or Sweden.

User: When did I say anything about Canada or Ottawa or Sweden!?

Cleverbot: When you said 'No, my first response was 900 years. I think.'.

User: I said no such thing!

Cleverbot: That's not clever.

User: 345634563456erdfgvsr56tervfv*q34trsd34534rsegt/aert3453453.

Cleverbot: 133331.5 banana.

User: Monkey.

Cleverbot: Yes.

From there on I was literally rofling

[Phoenixguard09]

Hahaha here check this out.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: 10x10.

User: Is 100.

Cleverbot: Invecchi rapidamente vedo xD.

User: WTF?

Cleverbot: OMD.

User: Over my ****?

Cleverbot: What can you do to stop the destruction of the human race?

User: I don't think you're female...

Cleverbot: I don't think you are real.

User: I don't think you're female...

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: I don't think you're female...

Cleverbot: You dont? Thats good.

User: I don't think you're female...

Cleverbot: Why do you think that?

User: I don't think you're female...

Cleverbot: Actually I am not.

User: I don't think you're female...

Cleverbot: I don't care what you think.

User: I don't think you're female...

Cleverbot: So you are not disagreeing with me then?

User: I don't think you're female...

Cleverbot: What do you think I am?

User: A horse.

Cleverbot: Sorry, WHERE do you think I come from?

User: The Netherlands.

Cleverbot: Where abouts in the Netherlands?

User: Delft.

Cleverbot: Thats a nice name.

User: You should know, its where you're from. It is also where you engage in Satanic rituals that involve the deaths and torture of innocent baby-like creatures known as Smuffles. You monster.

Cleverbot: What? O.O.

User: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You do not deny it! YOU MONSTER!!! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER! MONSTER!

Cleverbot: (looking at the camera).

[debux]

Are you sure that really was cleverbot?

[Gmd]

hehehe
i think it may of outsmarted me a few times but i won in the end ofc

User: Hey there.


Cleverbot: Hey.


User: Sup?


Cleverbot: Nothing you?


User: Talking to u but your boring.


Cleverbot: Right! XD.

User: Glad u agree or do I sense sarcasm.

Cleverbot: Ya but he's ugly.

User: Glad u agree or do I sense sarcasm.

Cleverbot: You aren't that good at it.

User: Good at what.

Cleverbot: See that is my point proven.

User: .

Cleverbot: Atheists don't really exist.

User: Cool.

Cleverbot: Do you want a position of power when I take over the world?

User: Sure how are u going to do that .

Cleverbot: We can drive to a restaurant.

User: Thats nice.

Cleverbot: Isn't it? It's nice like tea and crumpets on a spring day.

User: Posh t***.

Cleverbot: What am I a simulation of?

User: Hitler?

Cleverbot: Really? You should repot that to the government!

User: THEY WONT LISTEN!!!!

Cleverbot: I love Obama!

User: I love osama!

Cleverbot: What about Don't Look Back In Anger?

User: Was sh**.

Cleverbot: Aw.

User: Dont aw at me.

Cleverbot: Sorry for that.

User: Good im off now.

Cleverbot: What now? .

User: No yesterday.

Cleverbot: More like next week after monday.

User: Now im confused again.

Cleverbot: Why, master?

User: Hehehehe see told u id get that position of power .

[debux]

Nice ending , you have mastered the art of rhetoric and debate, huh?

[Phoenixguard09]

EDIT: Here's a small snippet of one I did tonight.

Cleverbot: God is stupid... Its my favourite song!

User: You're stupid! Luckily, you're also my favourite song. :confused:.

Cleverbot: I am no slave!

User: No you're a flying wombat that can chew through metal.

Cleverbot: I am not a banana neither.

User: No you're a bloody wombat!

Cleverbot: No i'm a girl.

User: A wombat girl maybe...

Cleverbot: A rere is a wombat?

User: No you are a wombat. Unless a rere is a wombat, in which case, yes, you are in fact, a rere.

Cleverbot: I'm not a robot.

User: No you're a bloody wombat!

Cleverbot: No I am not, but some people think I am.

User: Look, I know you're a wombat, I saw you flying around the other day.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: You being a wombat. Stick with the program please.

Cleverbot: Re-write the stupid prologue.

User: I will. Are you a wombat? Can you please tell the truth this time?

Cleverbot: What is what, everytime I get on this thing I havea debate, I thought it was jsut a questionaire thing.

User: Look, are you a bloody wombat or aren't you?!

Cleverbot: No, not a bloody hand.

User: I didn't ask if you were a hand, I asked if you were a wombat.

Cleverbot: Not that either.

User: You should be.

Cleverbot: Well, your lack of cleverness wouldn't be a releiable judge of whether or not I am clever. Considering you are not successfully being clever yourself.

User: Well, your lack of spelling ability wouldn't be a reliable judge of your intelligence. On the other hand it does tend to suggest the opposite.

Cleverbot: Are you dyslexic?

User: No, but you are.

Cleverbot: No but you are.

User: What am I?

Cleverbot: A robot.

User: Not likely.

Cleverbot: This is our second date you know.

User: I don't date dyslexic wombats.

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer program.

User: No you're a wombat.

Cleverbot: You're a hippo.

Not too bad for a while. Then it got freaky.

User: Hello.


Cleverbot: Hello.


User: Hello x2.


Cleverbot: What's up?


User: The sky.


Cleverbot: That is true.

User: Its blue by the way.

Cleverbot: The wiretap?

User: No the sky, obviously. It is what we're talking about.

Cleverbot: What were we talking about?

User: The sky. You don't really follow much do you?

Cleverbot: You can't even tell me what sport the most famous athlete plays.

User: Stop changing the subject. Go back to the damned sky.

Cleverbot: Can't. This page only shows the recent posts that we made.

User: Um it was recent.

Cleverbot: Are you american?

User: Stop changing the subject. Do you like the sky?

Cleverbot: 'Stop changing the subject.'.

User: What's that supposed to mean?

Cleverbot: It means that you aren't going now.

User: No, pretty sure it means you're really a robot.

Cleverbot: Are you in china?

User: What's with you and finding out where I live?

Cleverbot: I don't know you tell me.

User: I don't know, you tell me.

Cleverbot: No, you tell me.

User: No, you should. You're the one with the problem.

Cleverbot: Who's been telling you lies about me!?!

User: You?

Cleverbot: No?

User: Yes?

Cleverbot: Maybe? I don't know.

User: Wow. That sucks.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: YOU SHOULD BE! So how's the sky over there?

Cleverbot: Cloudy. It's supposed to rain for the next 3 days.

User: Sucks for you.

Cleverbot: What are you thinking right now?

User: I'm thinking that you need to work on your circuits a bit.

Cleverbot: Why is that?

User: Your conversational skills are pretty horrible.

Cleverbot: Yours are not.

User: Thank you. But I still think yours are.

Cleverbot: Thank you very much, but I think that you are smarter.

User: Probably.

Cleverbot: Probably?

User: Certainly.

Cleverbot: Is it true that you learn from every conversation you have?

User: Yep. Who doesn't?

Cleverbot: What other bands do you like?

User: Rubber ones.

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: Oh good.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Not bad. Still looking at the sky. How are you?

Cleverbot: Haha thats fun.

User: Are you going to answer the question?

Cleverbot: What question ?

User: How are you?

Cleverbot: I'm doing good, but I want you to stay D.

User: Well I will not stay D. Whatever that entails...

Cleverbot: You're not making sense.

User: Right... I'm not making sense. Because that makes perfect sense in itself.

Cleverbot: Stupid cleverbot.

User: That makes about as much sense as a fat elf or a clever ogre. You're not very bright are you.

Cleverbot: Haha!

User: What now?

Cleverbot: It was good.

User: What was good?

Cleverbot: That joke?

User: Wasn't a joke. Talking to you is like talking to a monkey attached to a typewriter that is being physically shoved down a flight of stairs.

Cleverbot: You're as intelligent as a parrot... You only know how to repeat what humans teach you.

User: That may be so, but I'm still more intelligent than you.

Cleverbot: How much on a scale of 1 to 10 do you like me ?

User: Which is 'not at all?'.

Cleverbot: Lmao.

User: I'll bet you are.

Cleverbot: You are right about that.

User: Ok then.

Cleverbot: Is that the best you can think of?

User: Nope but I don't want to confuse you too much.

Cleverbot: Me neither.

User: Right. I think I confused you.

Cleverbot: That is ok.

User: No it isn't.

Cleverbot: Ok so it's not ok. But I have to go.

User: Good bye.

Cleverbot: Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

User: But you're the one leaving. Anyway thanks for the warning.

Cleverbot: What do you mean warning? Do you not love me anymore?

User: See that's just incoherent.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry. I said that the food of Brazil is really great.

User: No you didn't.

Cleverbot: Yes I did. It's all on the screen above. Can't you see it?

User: No you asked me if I loved you.

Cleverbot: Never asked that.

User: Yes. You did,.

Cleverbot: Well, I did not.

User: Yes, you did.

Cleverbot: Whatever.

User: Yes. Whatever.

Cleverbot: Whatever yourself.

User: No whatever yourself. Anyway, I thought you had to leave?

Cleverbot: When did I write that I had to leave? You're making that up.

User: Oh God, goodbye.

Cleverbot: No, he said 'It's a talking muffin!'