Funny News Articles

[Phoenixguard09]

Just thought I'd start this for a bit of a laugh. Here's an Aussie one.

Lucifer a no-no for Kiwi registrar

Naming your new bundle of joy Lucifer has been effectively banned by New Zealand's names registrar after three parents had the odd request knocked back.

The country's Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages has been cracking down on mums and dads getting too creative with their children's names, ruling out punctuation marks such as . (Full Stop), (Asterisk) and / (presumably 'Slash').

The list of 102 names rejected in the past two years includes Baron, Bishop, Duke, General, Judge, Justice, King, Knight and Mr, all deemed too similar to titles.

Messiah was also turned down, as was 89, and the single letters, C, D, I and T, although q and J were accepted after being queried.

It appears to be a new hard line for the agency that made headlines around the world in 2008 when it was revealed to have approved a raft of strange monikers, among them Benson and Hedges, twins named after the cigarette brand, and Violence and Number 16 Bus Shelter, both for boys.

One little girl was so traumatised by her name, Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii, that she had it legally changed at age nine.

In accepting her name change in 2008, Family Court Judge Rob Murfitt said odd names had the ability to scar children as they grew up.

'It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap,' he said.

At the time, the authority tried to defend it lax approach by pointing out it had rejected names including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Sex Fruit, Stallion and Twisty Poi, a staple food in Polynesian cuisine.

Some how Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii just 'slipped through', as did Megatron, the name a 22-year-old student officially applied for after apparently taking too many drugs.

Arrested on methamphetamine charges in 2008, several years after his name change, Megatron admitted to the court his moniker had made it hard to fly under the radar.

[debux]

I hear there's a group with a dad trying to get likes to convince his wife to name their child Megatron, too.

Since when are parents so creative?

[Gen_Glory]

theres a facebook group which is like '1 million likes and ill call my son batman'  i wish they would do some imaginative ones like, Seymour Butts or Phil McCavity 

[Jubal]

BREAKING NEWS

Russia classifies beer as alcoholic

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev has signed a bill that officially classifies beer as alcoholic.

Until now anything containing less than 10% alcohol in Russia has been considered a foodstuff.

The move, signed into law on Wednesday, will allow ministers to control the sale of beer in the same way that spirits are controlled.

Russian alcohol consumption is already twice the critical level set by the World Health Organization.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14232970

BEER IS ALCOHOLIC! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT??!???

[Phoenixguard09]

Jubal, why does that not surprise me?

Russians: Brilliant modders. Way too drunk.

[Silver Wolf]

Yuck, beer... I hate it. It always sobers me up.

[Captain Carthage]

I've have a few sips of beer. Tasted like bitter water.

[Jubal]

I barely ever drink alcohol...

[Goldyrulz]

I have never drunk alcohol.

I win.

[Jubal]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIeWjLC_SB0
^ Goldy's response to the most sober man competition. The rest of us drunkenly drove off that cliff into the canyon. 

[debux]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIeWjLC_SB0
^ Goldy's response to the most sober man competition. The rest of us drunkenly drove off that cliff into the canyon. 

You beat CG O_o

What's alcohol?

Nah, I promised myself I would never drink until I had the age told by the state. I'm not proud of breaking it. I hate how it becomes social pressure. Although I usually take the first sips and then give the rest to my friends. I usually get never ending hiccups when I have to much alcohol in my body, thus stimulating a nauseous feeling

[comrade_general]

I took control of Jubal's mind and made that post.

[Phoenixguard09]

Nice CG. Myself I like whiskey. Don't tell my parents.

[Ladyhawk]

Yep, you sure do mate. Bahahahahahaha. The best thing is, that Phoenixguard can not remember anything the next day. Hahaha. And the general surprise when you tell him.

[Captain Carthage]

I don't like alcohol, far too bitter.