Author Topic: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian  (Read 22935 times)

Jubal

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The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« on: August 20, 2011, 11:17:41 AM »
Herein shall be a guide to important phrases, memes, and ideas you shall encounter on this site. Preferably as quirky as possible. Contributions gratefully accepted!

A
Andalus
Exilian's once-resident poet and philosopher, master of wordsmithing. And penguins.
Adventures of Soros
A game in which Thou Gaineth An ADVENTURE!

B
Beer Run
When someone goes into the Beer Cellar and adds a reply to all, or almost all, the forum games on the page.
Beesnot Lumpwagon
A character of ill defined shape, existence, gender, diet, et cetera. Thoroughly unclear why they merit an entry.
Bigosaur
A dinosaur who may or may not be the offspring of a witch.
Bunneh
Exilian's home-grown religious movement, based around an ASCII art Bunneh. Bunneh is all-powerful, and demands carrots.
Burn In Muffin Hell
The greatest insult. Muffin hell may or may not technically be an oven.

C
Carad├Člis
Exilian's resident witch and herbalist. Good for consultation if you have a cold, sleeping problems, or enemies who need quietly disposing of.
Citizens
The noble and loyal members of the polis exilianis, who together have True Power(tm).
Clockwork
He runs like clockwork. At least he runs like clockwork would if you oiled clockwork with beer. Provider of Exilian's fashion and music sense.
CN2
Exilian's resident candle, which burnez mightily.
CN3
CN2's hyper-powered alter ego, about which little is known.
Communipedia
The Free Socialist-Marxist Encylopedia. Disappeared along with Mixed Mods, in a sudden but spectacular Bourgeois victory.
Comrade_General
Leader of Exilian's highly secretive armed forces, codename "Cowman". Owns more guns than some countries have in their entire armed forces.
Cyril and Methodius
Patron saints of Exilian, their day is February 14. Because that's all that happens on February 14, as everybody knows.

D
Dammit! DD?
A common exclamation in certain parts of Exilian. It never is DD, no matter how many times this question is asked.
Debux
He has a faise. U lieks his faise? May own the Guancananalamama.
Deepcomet
Once a boy and a ninja, now a man and an astronomical phenomenon. It seemed a good idea at the time.
Dimos
Defender of freedom, Exilian's resident radical philosopher, EDU leader, and permanent rejector of skype invitations.
Dripping D
More electorally successful than Franklin Delano Roosevelt, younger than JFK, and with almost as many achievements in office as William Henry Harrison. The People's Choice (TM).

E
ECHO
Exilian Control and Heuristic Operations. Political party of tough uncompromising staff dedicated to rooting out all threats to Exilian, however nonexistent they may be. Now defunct as proved too compromising.
EDU
Exilian Democratic Union. For! Democracy! Against! Slavery! The True Opposition To Evil Parties (tm). Now defunct as they opposed themselves too effectively.
E-Team
"In 2008, a crack forum unit was suddenly deactivated and lost forever. These members briefly scattered across the inter-webs looking for purpose. Today, still psychotic and weird, they survive as soldiers of fortune at their new home known only as Exilian. If you have a problem...if no one else can help...and if you can find them...maybe you can hire...The E-Team."
The E-Team is Exilian's official armed forces, as led by Comrade_General. They are so secretive they forget they exist sometimes.
Eric Matyas
The music master, he who brings sound into soundless places.
Exilian
I. This site.
II. The community based around this site.
III. Any user of this site or member of the community, also referred to as "Exilianites", "Exiliphiles", "Exilianers", "Nerds", "Those really weird looking jerks", and "The Greco-Roman Llama Death Patrol". Okay, maybe the last one didn't happen. Except that it has now, and proves itself right by EXISTING.
Exilian Articles
Exilian's repository of all the wisdom and knowledge the rest of humanity didn't really want. Contains a lot of obscure animals, several fantastical worlds, and an undefined number of cows.
Exilian Day
March 18, the day of the site's founding in 2008. Generally celebrated like a mix of Saturnalia, a really awesome birthday party and an international scrabble championship rolled into one.
ExiliCon
Like Exilian but in real life. Notable for having excellent slogans:
  • ExiliCon: because at least we're not DashCon.
  • ExiliCon: it'll all be alright on the day.
  • ExiliCon: it's what gets you through border security.
  • ExiliCon: we don't even own a ball pit.

F
FIF
Forums for Internet Freedoms. Woolly-eared soppy citizen-loving liberals.

G
Glaurung
The dragon who sits atop Exilian's hoard of wealth. Eats spambots for breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, lunch, etc...
GMD
A collective of seventy-three ducklings in a trench coat.
Goldyrulz
High Prophet of teh Bunneh, he who rulz the church of the floppy-eared one.
Guancananalamama
It's a goddamn llama. Phoenixguard might own it. Or Debux might.

H
Hill, the
It's a hill. Or possibly a disused nuclear bunker. Or a whole kingdom. Or a mound of skulls. Or a mound of cupcakes. Whatever it is, nothing will be spared in the deadly battles for control of it.

I
IDE
The Opposition! They stand for opposition, democracy, et cetera, and (most importantly), et cetera. Now defunct, et cetera.

J
Jack S**t
Perhaps the only person who knows what the point of the internet is. His office is NEVER OPEN.
Jubal
Member #1, Megadux, that admin guy. World's most democratic dictator. Possibly a Trireme. See "Trireme". Possibly a Pangolin. See "Pangolin".

K
Khan, The
Master of necropostomancy, last seen riding across the steppes of Asia with a bunch of Tasmangolian web-zombies.
Koobazaur
The Wandering Dev. Hopefully not the secret identity of Mr. Molotov Man. (See "Mr. Molotov Man")
Krishnabot
The Krishnabots are a holy order of wandering spambots. They travel from site to site, preaching their word. It is thought that in abandoned corners of the internet they have converted masses of shoe and kitchen sales bots, who await a sign from Supreme Lord Krishna at which point they will rise up and dedicate the internet to his name. And ban onions and garlic.

L
Ladyhawk
Exilian's avian lady, true servant of the Nords and wielder of scary looking bladed weaponry.

M
Marcus
Owner of teh site, wielder of tech skills beyond mere mortals. He who shall be worshipped.
Meet A Member
Part of the citizens only area. Find out things you never wanted to know! Discover secrets that should have remained hidden! Discuss the merits of competitive jellyfish stuffing! And more!
Mighty Mushroom of Mundifron
Might not be a thing, but might be a mushroom of awe inspiring power. (I hear its spores are insured for ten thousand dollars. And it does car commercials. In Japan.)
Mixed Mods
The precursor to Exilian, which disappeared in mysterious circumstances.
Mother of Dragons
Maternal overlord of dragonkind, particularly if said dragons are of the soup-producing variety. Has mysterious links to the clone army of SOTKs.
Mr. Molotov Man
Does exactly what he says on the tin. Literally the worst superhero.

N
NCIU
Neo-Communist Internet Union. Exilian's party dedicated to overthrowing the bourgeois state and replacing it with EQUALITY and stuff. Defunct as it turns out Exilian didn't have a convenient bourgeois state to overthrow. Weirdly has nothing to do with Communipedia.
Necroposting
Resurrecting long-dead threads by the dark magical arts. Most notably done by The Khan.
Nigel
Nigel is a banker from Nigeria. He beats his butler and kills enemies of the state. With bricks.
Nightangel
The child of Deception and Jack Churchill after a very odd party. The only person who gives dating advice involving claymores. He commonly swears to drunk he's not god.
No Marcuses Allowed
The only law in Wibulnubniblia. See "Wibulnubniblia".

O
Othko97
SOTK Beta. He fell from a high place. See "Son of the King".

P
Pangolin
A small arboreal mammal from Africa with armour plating and the ability to walk up trees on its hind legs. May be Jubal. By extension, may therefore also be a Trireme.
Pentagathus
King of the Wibulnibs and ruler of Wibulnubniblia. Fuzzy forum troll responsible for attempting to put off new members. Arch-nemesis of Marcus.
Pentagathus Party
Exilian is clearly a benevolent dictatorship not a democracy, something nobody wants. Enter the Pentagathus party, that implores you to Vote Pentagathus for Everything in order to restore true old fashioned iron-fisted autocracy. And rum.
Phoenixguard
Slayer of poisonous beasts, possible owner of the Guancananalamama. Literally owns and feeds Satan.
Portugal Exploding
It is an important but little known fact that whenever something major happens, Portugal spontaneously explodes. The entire population of Portugal is usually employed in putting Portugal back together with superglue in order for Portugal to be able to explode again the next time. Tthe reason the financial crisis hit them badly was because not enough major events were happening to employ the population full-time, and the Portuguese actually have no skills or resources other than a crapton of glue pots.
Private Clark
Creator of gamingness, and the first of the Megas Domestikoi.
Professor McBlusterfluff's Highly Trained Titmouse
Trained by the mysterious Professor McBlusterfluff. Is among other things a messenger, comedian, psychoanalyst and explosives expert.

S
Satan
The devil, spawn of all evil incarnate. Lives in Phoenixguard's kitchen.
Scarlet
Most conscientious forumite of all the forumites.
Silver Wolf
A name that stops grown men dead in their tracks. A howling in the night, a quiet word passing round a small town... and the legend of the Wolf spreads a little further.
Son Of The King
The Prince of Tech Wizardry. SOTK Prime, clan alpha; has at least two clones. Aka SOTK, Sawtekh, Saw,etc.
Soup Dragons
The most common species of dragon in Exiliania. And OHMIGOSHHAVEYOUSEENTHEBABYONE *squee*
Stormcloud
First landlord of the Boozer. Held the highest post-count for A Very Long Time.

T
Teejackbo
SOTK Gamma. See "Son of the King."
THROW THERMAL POD
An important ritual undertaken regularly by certain Exilians. Helps break the ice, either at parties or alternatively when confronting powerful ice-wizards.
Trireme
Possibly Jubal. See "Jubal".
Triumph
A traditional celebration of the special achievements of a citizen, accompanied by cheering, a frontpagepost, and rum (or would be except that the rum, as all denizens of the web know, is gone :/)
Triumph Points
Points mean prizes! See "triumph".
Tusky
Your friendly tusked neighbourhood watchman. Occasionally sneaks vehicle trailers into movie theatres.

V
Vance Miller
The Kitchen Bandit Overlord and a nefarious enemy of the Exilians who once assailed the site with his kitchen spambots. From where they come nobody knows, where they go after we smite them is unclear theologically (See Also: Krishnabot), but what is known is that from a warehouse somewhere in the midlands (nb: midlands of what is unclear), Vance Miller sends his legions forth against the fragile walls of the un-spammed world...

W
Wibulnib
A Wibulnib is one of the mythical foes of Exilian, posters of lewd imagery and other such foul things. Nobody has ever seen a wibulnib, for they are a sneaky and foul breed. They are led by Pentagathus and inhabit Wibulnubniblia.
Wibulnubniblia
The mythical home of the Wibulnibs, the dark side of Exilian. Inhabited by the debatably existent Wibulnibs. Wibulnubniblia is kept safe from the wrath of Marcus only by a large handpainted sign saying "No Marcuses Allowed"; this sign is thought to be the only rule the Wibulnibs abide by. This mysterious realm is ruled by Pentagathus.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2019, 02:47:26 PM by Jubal »
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Phoenixguard09

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2011, 11:32:59 AM »
BURN IN MUFFIN HELL!
Portugal Exploding.

I'm done.
Yes I am! Assholefaceman!
By the power of Ga'haarr I command you to vanish! VANISH!
I CANNOT BE KILLED BUT WITH FIRE!
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Jubal

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2011, 11:35:26 AM »
I think I missed Portugal Exploding, can someone link me?
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Phoenixguard09

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2011, 11:46:23 AM »
Yes I am! Assholefaceman!
By the power of Ga'haarr I command you to vanish! VANISH!
I CANNOT BE KILLED BUT WITH FIRE!
(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your
(")_(") signature to help him gain world domination

Crazier than a crack-head cat and here to make sticky treats out of your vital organs.
FEAR ME AND MY INDISCRIMINATE BAN-HAMMER, HORRIBLE EYESIGHT AND TOTAL DISREGARD FOR INTERNET RIGHTS!

Jubal

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2011, 12:29:53 PM »
How DID I miss that? Freakin' hilarious.  ;D

(Also, in case I add them into the OP, where's the original for BURN IN MUFFIN HELL?)

There's also Wibulniblia and the Wibulnibs, which are an Exilian-only thing (And remember, No Marcuses Allowed).
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Captain Carthage

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2011, 12:38:11 PM »
Nightangel is the unholy spawn of the gods of deception.

He also gives great dating advice.

http://exilian.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=1201.msg34889#msg34889
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Phoenixguard09

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2011, 02:21:06 PM »
http://exilian.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=1567.15

Here's BURN IN MUFFIN HELL! Frikken hilarious again! :D
Yes I am! Assholefaceman!
By the power of Ga'haarr I command you to vanish! VANISH!
I CANNOT BE KILLED BUT WITH FIRE!
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FEAR ME AND MY INDISCRIMINATE BAN-HAMMER, HORRIBLE EYESIGHT AND TOTAL DISREGARD FOR INTERNET RIGHTS!

CN2

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2011, 08:32:09 PM »
Holy awesome this is amazing :')

Can this be updated with any new stuff??
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comrade_general

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2011, 08:41:10 PM »
Can The E-Team be added here? Or is it too lame? :(
I'd be more apathetic if I weren't so lethargic.

Silver Wolf

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2011, 08:50:49 PM »
Phoenixguards/Debux(es?) guancananalamama blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada.

Actually forget about that.
It's a goddam llama.

Stupid llamas...
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Captain Carthage

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2011, 09:20:36 PM »
Can The E-Team be added here? Or is it too lame? :(

Post away old boy!
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Jubal

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2011, 10:08:02 PM »
Yeah, we'll keep adding stuff. I'm planning to add a fair few more member entries, at the very least, and do dig out any more funny stuff and memes you can remember.  :)
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debux

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2011, 12:40:21 AM »
Nighangel being drunk? (like putting a subcategory for "drunk" and add to it "Possibly Nightangel", dunno :P )
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START ANSWERING PHOENIXGUARD! POST AS MUCH AS YE DID IN YE OLD DAYS :D

Silver Wolf

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #13 on: August 21, 2011, 12:50:16 AM »
Or just :

Nightangel
Most likely never sober.
"Less of a young professional - more of an ancient amateur. But frankly, I'm an absolute dream."

Phoenixguard09

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Re: The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To Exilian
« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2011, 02:20:58 AM »
NightAngel:
Rarely sober, he gives great dating advice, usually involving feats from insane war-heroes.

SilverWolf:
The Lonely Guy.

DJ-CAT:
The prophet of the Bunneh, He who shall spin turn-tables for all time. Possibly a bit about how Debux found the DJ-CAT. I'll provide a link when I find it.
Yes I am! Assholefaceman!
By the power of Ga'haarr I command you to vanish! VANISH!
I CANNOT BE KILLED BUT WITH FIRE!
(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your
(")_(") signature to help him gain world domination

Crazier than a crack-head cat and here to make sticky treats out of your vital organs.
FEAR ME AND MY INDISCRIMINATE BAN-HAMMER, HORRIBLE EYESIGHT AND TOTAL DISREGARD FOR INTERNET RIGHTS!