The Joke Thread

[feet]

Why do french warships have glass hulls? So they can see the rest of the fleet.
Why do french tanks have a rear window? So they can see the enemy.
Whats the shortest book in the world? A history of French military victories.

Why did the polish man cross the road? He's stolen the chickens job

We're mean?

[comrade_general]

swing

slide

[Pentagathus]

Huh, hadn't noticed that at all.
What does feet mean about being mean? Are you Frolish/Pench or something?

[feet]

No, but french people are.

[Pentagathus]

French people aren't frolish or pench, that would be a cross between french and polish. Or are you saying french people are mean? Thats not true, they're just mental racist homosexuals who smell of cheese err cheese eating surrender monkeys people who fornicate with smelly cheese happen to be french.

[Skull]

Why do the Saxons hate France so much?

[Pentagathus]

We don't hate france, its a lovely place. Shame about the locals though.

I'm really dissapointed in this whole Jimmy Saville scandal, the guy was my idol because when I was 8 he fixed it for me to milk a cow whilst blindfolded.

[Gen_Glory]

hey! we aren't saxons! we're a bit of everything, saxon, norman, viking, roman, celts the list goes on

odd how all the saville scandals appeared after he died and at a good time to shift blame at the bbc, at a time when news international is coming in to disrepute
the accusations could all be true but i like to think he was a good man for the time being

[Pentagathus]

I'm sure some of them are utter bullarmadillo but there are simply too many for all of them to be untrue I think. I found the claim that when he visited a hospital the kids were told be pretend to be asleep very amusing. Seems like pretty retarded advice considering he was accused of molesting comatose patients.

[Captain Carthage]

Britain really is just all of Western Europe handing in their samples.

[Jubal]

Skull: it's a long story. Basically France has been our main national enemy for most of the time since about the 1300s. Including the Hundred Years' War, the French Wars of Religion, War of the Spanish Succession, Seven Years' War, and Napoleonic Wars. We've generally been allied to France since 1900, but that's not very long considering that for much if not most of the thousand years before that we were at war. Generally people don't actually hate France per se, but in Britain it's still common to make jokes about them.

[comrade_general]

This has been passed on to we Americans, despite France being the reason we were able to beat the British in the Revolution.

[Jubal]

I guess one of the key British things is that we're more derogatory about our friends than our enemies. Generally British people are much more prepared to insult a friend, because they know they can take the criticism, than an enemy, who we're more likely to be desperately, coldly polite to.

Our largest targets for national ire and mockery are France and the USA, shortly followed by Germany, for this reason.

[comrade_general]

Only in England...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

[Jubal]

We tell that joke but for the US generally.