Author Topic: poems by QueenMab  (Read 1573 times)

QueenMab

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poems by QueenMab
« on: November 03, 2013, 07:02:59 PM »
THE WALL
Strong stands she: the wall,
Stood still and strong and steadfast
In her purpose - to stand, it seems.
Why? Unknown to all who pass, and she;
Yet still she stands, unwavering
In her apparently perpetually pointless purpose.

           Cracks pierce this sturdy structure,
Cracks carefully crafted by earthquakes, wars
And the boys and girls relentlessly bouncing
Rubber balls against her in children's games,
Wearing her down. They don't care.
No one notices tears trickling, tarnishing
Her strong structural stability.
They paint over the stains.

Surrounded by these friends,
Alone the structure falls.

QueenMab

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Re: poems by QueenMab
« Reply #1 on: November 03, 2013, 07:10:44 PM »
DROWNING UNDER ICE
Trapped.
Scratching at the surface, deep
Under water, trying
To explode through
This cold hard sheet of ice.
I call: no answer
I text: no reply
I cry I shout, gasping for air
I scream.

Where are you?

An echo floods through,
A saved voicemail, your voice
Faded and gargling now:
"You're the best friend I've ever had.
I love you."

I love you.
Behind this ice, hiding
From that unknown
From temptation
From another explosion
Of chemicals,
From that nature you fear
Like a flood, this tsunami behind
My icy shield; your icy shield.

                                                                      Help me.

                                                                                                           Please. Xx

Jubal

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Re: poems by QueenMab
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2013, 10:27:53 PM »
I really like both of these.

The alliteration in the first one is a nice touch - it's something I find almost surprisingly hard to use at all, let alone well.

I think one of the interesting features of both is the juxtaposition of classical imagery with surprisingly modern words and even quite technical sounding terms like "structural stability" or using the word "chemicals". It gives both of them a slightly more jarred, modern day feel somehow.
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...