A Mugging Song Em D Em D
I am a humble gentleman, a mugger is my trade,
Em D G D
Since I swore to my grandmother I would live by club and blade,
G D
This story I will tell you of my woe,
Em D
Like when in Honeywood the Watcher’s face did show,
G D
I said “you know what we should do,
Em D
Let’s mug ‘im for his jewels”,
C G D
Adventurers are known to carry wealth and gold,
G D
So how was I to know it said,
Em D
Level one hundred on his head,
C G D G
For I’ve a wisdom stat that’s lower than a troll,
I am a humble gentleman, a mugger is my trade,
Since I swore to my grandmother I would live by club and blade,
This story I will tell you of my woe,
Like when in Honeywood the Watcher’s face did show,
I said “you know what we should do,
Let’s mug ‘im for his jewels”,
Adventurers are known to carry wealth and gold,
So how was I to know it said,
Level one hundred on his head,
For I’ve a wisdom stat that’s lower than a troll,
I am a humble gentleman, the Watcher was soon gone,
I suppose that I was lucky that he went for Charm Person,
I looked for muggings easier to do,
And realised the local farms had targets too,
I said “you know what we should do,
Let’s mug ‘em for their goose”,
A mere bird will be no issue, two on one:
In my defence I know not when,
Geese got a thieving score of ten,
But either way my clothes and weapons all were gone.
I am a humble gentleman, who came upon some men,
All drinking mead and whiskey as they sang of hill and glen,
I realised there was a chance at last,
To find success much greater than times past,
I said “you know what we should do,
Let’s mug ‘em for their booze,
Those bottles must have something valuable inside,”
But alas, we then got drunk,
They found the guards and who’ve have thunk,
The law was not inclined to let the matter slide.
I am a humble gentleman, all banged up in the jail,
‘til one day I saw an exit route and knew I must not fail,
I saw the prison gate was open wide,
It had two horses stabled just beside,
I said “you know what we should do,
Let’s mug ‘em for their hooves,
These equine bastards have just had it good too long,”
It turns out hooves are well affixed,
And that a horse’s back leg kicks,
I hope for better luck when next we shall respawn!