Author Topic: Toady's Poem(s)  (Read 307 times)

justatoady

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Toady's Poem(s)
« on: April 11, 2019, 04:49:06 PM »
Hey Exilian : )
I made an other thing I think kind of fits here, which is a poem about a famously weird animal.


What are you?

Axolotl. Water dog.
The slippery monster. The fish that walks.
Your face is pink, your gills are stalks.
You smile, you smile for all the world to see,
and yet your smiling baffles me.

You live in puddles, mud, canals,
you're a delicacy in exotic locales.
On land, you waddle.
Your fin is caudal,
I suppose you can swim,
but is that why you grin?
Your young are preyed on by birds and fish.
To leave this home must be your most desperate wish.

You are hardy, you are tough,
losing a limb, it's not nearly enough,
to put you down,
they are simply regrown.
Is this the key to your sunny disposition?
What looks like neverending cellular division?
You don't grow up,
never a dog, always a water pup.
No need for metamorphosis to reach sexual maturation.
Perhaps your secret is natural neotenic procreation?

But, in truth, what hides behind your smile?
A devious trick? Unfathomable guile?
Look at those chubby cheeks,
you're not one of nature's freaks.
You're cute to a fault,
I cannot help but halt,
and admire,
can only aspire,
to have you grace my house.
You beat any hamster, kitten, or kangaroo mouse.

You've got a stomach powered by vacuum,
and I can watch you eat in my bedroom.
You're not here as my pet, as the one I chose to bring,
you're here by your orders, as my master, my king.
I am weak, I took you from your puddle,
I adore you and we cannot even cuddle.
Whence comes this power over me,
you're a armadilloty lizard, who can't really see.

Oh my god! You're a little dancer!
Jesus Christ! You're immune to cancer!
I will worship you at a shrine!
I am yours as you are mine!
I proclaim myself Axolophile,
and I will lay down my life for your precious smile!

Tusky

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Re: Toady's Poem(s)
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2019, 04:58:59 PM »
Awwwwwww. Lovely stuff.

They are super cute - I think I might become an Axolophile
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Jubal

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Re: Toady's Poem(s)
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2019, 05:38:37 PM »
They are wonderful things :)



I had a friend as an undergrad who had a pet axolotl called Chalchiuhtlicue (or Chal for short). Chal was one of the sweetest and most stupid animals I have ever met. Half the times I visited said friend, I would find Chal swimming happily into the side of the tank. The tank was twice as large as axolotls generally need, Chal was not short of space - just too dim to change direction. Most of the remaining times I would find that Chal had managed to get a chemical imbalance and was being temporarily refrigerated to calm down.

Also, yay poem, please add more :)

The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

justatoady

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Re: Toady's Poem(s)
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2019, 08:36:55 PM »
Thank you, and also aww!

Haha I like your swear filter. I did not mean to imply axolotls were "armadilloty"^^

Jubal

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Re: Toady's Poem(s)
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2019, 08:55:20 PM »
Yes. It's not so much a serious swear filter as a rolling joke that produces amusing results :)

I have had to write exceptions into it - people had some problems talking about the Kushitic Empire for some while before I worked out how to stop it being the Ku-armadillo-ic Empire :) (Incidentally you still can't talk about the Ku-armadillo-ic Empire - if you condense it then it autocorrects to Kushitic!)
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...