Change a Letter III

[Tusky]

That is what I have been led to belive

[Glaurung]

And presumably be fed only the most exquisite of feline foods.

[Jubal]

Sounds like a fad diet to me.

[Tusky]

What are the least bad diets?

[Jubal]

A bacon bap - no, wait, two, one in each hand for a balanced diet.

[Tusky]

I think you have just raised the bar for healthy eating.

[Jubal]

Yes, my diet plan is far and away the best on offer

[Tusky]

Say goodbye to your unwanted fat!

[Jubal]

You also have to drink a vat of pear cider every week.

[Tusky]

Hm, that might be tricky. I think I have a few tins  in my van somewhere...

[Jubal]

VAIN FOLLY! PEAR CIDER CAN ONLY BE CONSUMED FROM WOODEN BARRELS OR CLAY VATS! IT IS KNOWN AND WRITTEN IN THE ANCIENT ANNALS OF SOMERSET!

[Glaurung]

Indeed, on pain of being wassailed with a wassailing thing!

[Tusky]

I resfuse to be a pawn of the intransigent elders of Somerset. I might drink cider from a shoe. That'll show 'em

[Jubal]

Fortunately, the Intransigent Elders of Somerset are busy yelling at some wibulnibs to get off their lawn.

[Glaurung]

No doubt the Wibulnibs are in flagrant breach of the Intransigent Elders' laws.