Prove Up Is Down

[Jubal]

OK, new forum game!

Someone gives you a thing, through spurious logic and connections you must prove it is another thing.

E.G. Prove Jubal is a terrorist:

Jubal -> Carthaginian Name -> Carthaginians worshipped Tanit -> Tanit is equivalent to Isis -> ISIS are terrorists -> Jubal is a terrorist.


So here goes!

First person, prove that Christmas is the same as Australia Day.

[Pentagathus]

No.

[Glaurung]

Oh, this one's easy

Christmas: the day on which Christmas Island was named. Christmas Island is a territory of Australia; the national day of Australia is Australia Day. Therefore Christmas is Australia Day

Now prove that hobbits are dragons.

[Cuddly Khan]

Hobbits live in hills > hills are like tiny mountains > Dragons sometimes live in mountains > Hobbits are Dragons


Prove that Obama is Osama

[comrade_general]

Dubya attacked a Hussein after an Osama attacked us and next thing you know a Hussein is the president. Then that president claims that he killed the Osama but we never saw a body. Therefore it seems obvious that Dubya knew the truth; the president is in fact both Hussein and Osama!

Prove that Star Wars is Star Trek.

[Pentagathus]

Both set in space, both have lasers and a lot of silly armadillo.
Prove that you don't exist.

[Jubal]

> I, as is well known, am a pangolin
> I as is also well known, am a trireme
> Triremes have masts and sails, pangolins do not
> I cannot both have a sail and not have a sail simultaneously
> My existence is therefore a paradox
> I do not exist.


Prove that rum is dragon's urine.

[Glaurung]

Jubal: I think you may well be the quantum superposition of a pangolin and a trireme, so we don't know which one you're behaving as until we look. Curiously, this seems to mean you always look like a human.

Meanwhile...

Rum is made by distillation, i.e. the application of heat to a liquid. As is well known, dragons contain sources of heat, and therefore their urine must also have been subject to this. Hence, rum is dragon's urine.

Now, prove aardvarks are zebras.

[Jubal]

Aardvark begins with A, Zebra with a Z, the first and last letters of the alphabet. We can therefore abbreviate Aardvark and Zebra to A and Z respectively.
God said: "I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last."
Therefore God is both the first and last. A and Z are also the first and last. A and Z are therefore God.
As A and Z are both God, we can thus extrapolate out from the abbreviation that Aardvarks and Zebras are both God, and as God is a single entity, aardvarks are therefore zebras.

Prove that a violin is actually the ark of the covenant.

[Caradìlis]

A violin is an instrument. Instruments are used to create music. One might therefore say that music is contained within the violin. Music comes from heaven. So do the ten commandments. The ten commandments are therefore music. And as music is contained within the violin, there has to be a violin that is actually the arc of the covenant...

Prove that an owl is a tulip.

[Jubal]

Tulips are, as everyone knows, quintessentially Dutch, after the tulip mania of the seventeenth century. The Dutch are also of course famous from that period for having been a republic. It stands to reason that tulips should follow the same form of governance as the Dutch, being quintessentially dutch, and that a sufficient collection of tulips will therefore form a parliament. A sufficient collection of owls, as everyone knows, also forms by definition a parliament. As parliaments with multiple species in them have never been observed to exist, and both tulips and owls form parliaments as noted above, one can only conclude that tulips are in fact owls.

Prove that Hungarians are all gryphons.

[Tusky]

Hungary was once part of the Austro-Hungarian empire, which at it's peak spread deep into Romania. It even spread as far as transylvania, home to vampires therefore it is safe to assume all Hungarians are vampires. Vampires were known for their widows peaks, and ability to fly. Not only do both Gryphons and Vampires have the ability to fly but peak rhymes with beak.
I rest my case.

Prove that Donald Trump is a sprout

[Jubal]

Sprouts, as everyone knows, come from Brussels, and are disliked by the British. One of these features Trump certainly has, as we saw last week - but what of the other? Brussels is of course the seat of the European Council, and as everyone knows the European Council is in large part a vehicle for having a lot of arguments between countries who are ostensibly friends. Trump is so good at this that he has managed to have arguments with almost every ally he has without even having to invent a regular forum to do it in. In this sense Trump is a walking mobile Brussels, and therefore wherever he is, there must always be sprouts. As Trump is not consistently spotted with sprouts about his person, the only rational solution is that he is in fact himself one.

Prove that Han Solo is the Pope.

[Tusky]

Well Han Solo being the pope is an interesting one, since it he does it from a galaxy far far away and also a long time ago. However the clues are there. The pope as we know him lives in, and rules over Vatican City. "Vatican" is derived from the name of an Etruscan settlement: Vatica which means garden. Gardens are known to have bird visitors. One Type of bird is a falcon. It should come as no surprise, then, that his ship is called the millenium falcon. Falcon, which expresses his love of birds and gardens from which the Vatican is named, and the "Millenium" part is a thinly veiled boast about how he is able to project himself through time to carry out his role as the pontiff.

Prove that Madonna is a Sherman tank

[Jubal]

Madonna, like other Sherman tanks of the WWII generation, was manufactured in the American midwest - the first Shermans were produced by Lima Locomotive Works in Ohio, and Madonna was born and raised in Michigan which is suspiciously close by and also part of the rust belt, so can be considered the same place for approximation purposes. Known for flexibility in a range of tactical situations and the ability to have different ways of reaching the enemy at range, Madonna has utilised guitars, drums, and on one occasion a cowbell as the situation demanded, showing the same flexibility that allowed her fellow tanks to have anything from mid-level ordinance to howitzers bolted onto their turrets. (We won't go into Madonna's famous turrets too much here, this thread should be kept suitable for family audiences). The careers of Sherman tanks are of course not without heartbreak: Madonna's most famous album, Like a Virgin, reflects a very common problem among Shermans, which are known for being unable to copulate with others of their kind. In fact, in the 20th century, 100% of known Shermans required artificial human intervention in their creation, and it is thought that their permanently virgin existence may be responsible for the Sherman slowly dying out over time. Her famous film performance in Evita likewise drew attention to her four hundred and fifty fellow Shermans who were sold to the Peronist Argentine government in the late 1940s. Her rendition of Don't Cry For Me Argentina is, as a result, one of the most powerful ballads on the subject of military procurement ever created, and rightly helped Madonna on her way to becoming the best-selling armoured vehicle in musical history. Despite this, Madonna has occasionally been publicly reticent about her status, refusing to run people over at her concerts - she does however often hint at her background in her music, as with her best selling single 4 Minutes, or 4M for short - a witty flip of the "M4" mark number that she was originally assigned in the tank factory. A few conspiracy theorists dispute that Madonna is a Sherman tank, but frankly, the evidence is at this point utterly overwhelming.

Prove that Bhutan is Asgard.