Omegle Lulz

[Jubal]

Today, I decided to be a Dragon.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: djnfag
Stranger: That is what happens when I slam my head against the keyboard.
Stranger: +i8gfhjkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Stranger: Fell asleeep.
You: HAVE YOU TRIED EATING YOUR KEYBOARD?
Stranger: YES.
Stranger: BUT IT NEEDS SOME HOT SAUCE.
You: WAS IT NICE? I ATE AN XBOX ONCE, BUT DIDN'T HAVE ANY NUTMEG. :/
Stranger: AWW. YES.
Stranger: BUT IT NEEDED SOME SOUR CREAM.
Stranger: IT WAS SO BLAND.
Stranger: I STARTED CHOKING ON THE LETTER "A".
You: GENERALLY I'M MEANT TO EAT CHILDREN AND VIRGINS, ACCORDING TO MY JOB DESCRIPTION, BUT TESCO DIRECT DON'T DO THAT KINDA STUFF. :/
Stranger: UH OH/
Stranger: WHY VIRGINS?
Stranger: THEY'RE MORE PURE?
Stranger: THEN THE SLUTS?
You: I DUNNO, EMPLOYMENT REGULATIONS.
Stranger: *THAN
Stranger: HAVE YOU EATEN ONE YET?
You: NOPE. HAVEN'T EVEN BATHED IN THE BLOOD OF INNOCENTS.
Stranger: THAT'S GOOD, I GUESS.
Stranger: MORALS GOT IN THE WAY?
You: AND I HAVE BATH SALTS AND A LOOFA WAITING AS WELL. :/
Stranger: WAIT.
Stranger: I'M AN INNOCENT.
Stranger: AND A VIRGIN.
Stranger: :O :O :O :O :O
Stranger: JK.
Stranger: I'M NOT AN INNOCENT.
You: TECHNICALLY, SO AM I. I JUST HAPPEN TO BE A DRAGON TOO. :/
Stranger: AWESOME.
Stranger: CAN I HITCH A RIDE?
You: DEPENDS. WILL THERE BE STUFF TO EAT?
Stranger: YES. WE'RE GOING TO CANDY ISLAND.
You: THE SCALES MIGHT CHAFE LIKE HELL, I WARN YOU. AND IF YOU SLIP ONTO THE BACK SPINES, YOUR UNBORN CHILDREN WON'T THANK YOU FOR IT.
Stranger: OKAY, I DON'T MIND.
Stranger: BUT ONE QUESTION: WHY ARE WE YELLING?
You: I'M A DRAGON. WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?
Stranger: I'M DEAF?
Stranger: NO. THAT WON'T WORK.
Stranger: 'CAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT.
Stranger: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
You: YAY!
You: ...YAY DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A VERY SCARY THING TO SAY. HM. I NEED TO GET BETTER AT THIS.
Stranger: RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Stranger: NO.
Stranger: THAT WON'T WORK NIETHER.
Stranger: *NEITHER.
You: I SWEAR, TERRORISING HUMANS FOR DUMMIES IS USELESS.
Stranger: HM. TRY THE THE BOOK WRITTEN FOR DRAGONS BY DRAGONS.
Stranger: THAT'LL GIVE YOU SOME FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE.
Stranger: ANOTHER QUESTION: ARE YOU A FEMALE DRAGON OR A MALE DRAGON?
You: YEAH, BUT I GOT BANNED FROM WATERSTONES AFTER I BURNED IT DOWN.
You: I'M A MALE DRAGON.
Stranger: WHY'D YOU BURN IT DOWN?
Stranger: I'M A HUMAN FEMALE.
Stranger: WHERE'D YOU GO?
You: SORRY
You: I HAD TO EAT THE PHONE, IT KEPT RINGING.
You: WATERSTONES? I JUST SNEEZED. :/
Stranger: THAT SUCKS.... DID THE PHONE TASTE GOOD?
You: NOT VERY. TOO CRUNCHY.
Stranger: I LIKE IT WHEN MY FOOD IS CRUNCHY,
Stranger: My throat is sore. No more yelling for me.
You: YOU MIGHT LIKE PHONES THEN, I GUESS. IT WAS A BIT LIKE EATING HORSE METATARSALS IF YOU'VE EVER TRIED THEM.
Stranger: Depends, I only eat human food, not electronics.
Stranger: The keyboard was an exception.
You: AH, SOUNDS FAIR ENOUGH TO ME. I WOULD SAY I ONLY ATE DRAGON FOOD, BUT THERE'S NOT MUCH THAT ISN'T COVERED BY THAT.
You: WHICH IS A REAL BUMMER, AS DELIA DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY ABOUT PREPARING CARS.
Stranger: What do dragons not eat?
Stranger: http://www.purplemoon.com/Stickers/images/skull-dragons.jpg <------ I wanna draw that.
You: I DON'T FIND BABIES VERY APPEALING. I USUALLY JUST SHOVE THEM IN THE BIN WHEN NOBODY'S LOOKING IF SOMEONE SERVES THEM TO ME.
Stranger: Like vegetables.
You: I DON'T EAT VEGETABLES EITHER. TOO MUCH FIBRE, AND TOO SMALL.
Stranger: Not very filling for dragons. Amiright?
You: YEAH, MUCH EASIER JUST TO FIND SOME SHEEP SOMEWHERE.
Stranger: You're probably the best dragon I've met so far.
You: HOW MANY OTHERS HAVE YOU MET? I NEVER SEEM TO MEET ANY OTHER DRAGONS.
Stranger: About 9 moe.
Stranger: *more.
Stranger: They wanted me to meet them in an alley so they could eat me.
You: YOU SEEM TO BE QUITE A NICE HUMAN AS WELL. IN THE PERSONALITY SENSE THAT IS; I CAN'T TELL IN THE CULINARY SENSE.
Stranger: Haha. Personality sense? I find myself quite dull when it comes to that.
You: CITY DRAGONS SUCK. ALL THE BEST DRAGONS LIVE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE. PREFERABLY MOUNTAINS, THOUGH I'M STUCK IN FENLAND AT THE MOMENT. PLENTY OF SHEEP HERE THOUGH.
Stranger: You don't like eating sheep?
Stranger: All the time?
You: NOT ALL THE TIME, BUT THEY'RE FAIRLY DECENT AS A SNACK FOOD.
Stranger: Ohh. Sorry my scaly dragon friend, I have to go,
Stranger: Bye.
You: WHAT A PITY. GOODBYE, FRIENDLY HUMAN.
Stranger: Hope a wonderful female dragon to keep you companyt.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Cuddly Khan]

The most Normal conversation I've ever gotten.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: What do you think I'd get, if I sold my towel I got from Justin Bieber?
You: He must be mad
You: Better not tell him
Stranger: mad why?
You: He might sing you a song.
You: To kill you
Stranger: wt? what?
You: Or seriesly injure you
You: I'll be bad
Stranger: and he should do that be cause?
You: You sold his towel
You: He needs it
Stranger: no, i asked what i'd get i never said i would do it. Caue i wont. and no he threw it to me dont worry
Stranger: cause*
You: If you see a boy walking down the street with wet haitr and wet clothes don't be serprised.
Stranger: what are you talking aboout?
You: E-Bay
You: if you sold his towel
You: You'll get about $99 000 000 000 000
You: Mabye more.
Stranger: a little dramatic?
You: Naa
You: not dramatic enough.
You: It would be atleast twice that much.
Stranger: lol
You: Baby Baby Bady oh like Baby Baby Baby
You: Did I just type Bady
You: I must have
Stranger: yeah you did

[Cuddly Khan]

Omegle is a good place to advertise Exilian

[Jubal]

Have we actually got any active members via Omegle? Like, ever?

[Cuddly Khan]

No. But it's not like we try every one that doesn't ask asl.

[I_Forgot_My_Name]

I've just tried Omegle for the first time and pretty much the first five times were just men doing the whole asl thing. Patience = thin.

[debux]

You can always troll them

[I_Forgot_My_Name]

Trolling is working and working well...

[Jubal]

DnD versus Pokemon, you saw it here first...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Gary oak?
You: Boris Birch?
Stranger: nope its me Ash ketchum!
You: Is this the point where I realise I left everything except the damn Magikarp at home?
Stranger:
Stranger: Is this to point to remind you that you always come at me in caves with my half dead pokemon?
Stranger: and start a battle?
You: Damn. This thing had better have some REALLY good frantic pointless splashing going on.
Stranger: I don't think it will
Stranger: Not if I send out Pikachu
You: Are you sure that's a Pikachu you've got there?
Stranger: I'm sure thats a Pikachu connected to my shoulder
You: ...yeah, psychology tactics aren't going to work here. Crap.
Stranger: I'll finally Get my Revenge for All those times in those caves
You: Hm... looks like I need to be using skills from a different game altogether then.
Stranger: oh don't worry, I have all the super effective pokemon of other regions on me, and a Scrafty
You: http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/expeditiousRetreat.htm
^ D&D, Expeditious Retreat time.
Stranger: Oh man! AFTER HIM GUYS!
You: Expeditious Retreat! Haste! Wind Walk!
Stranger: WIND WAKER, Tail Wind!
You: ...well, damn.
You: However, there are a few factors you may have failed to consider.
Stranger: Oh really? what?
You: One: I can fly without the wind, thaks to the Overland Flight spell I cast this morning.
Stranger: 1 point for Ash, I have a Emolga, it's a electric flying and can use fly
You: Two: These pokemon are really getting on my nerves, but don't technically HAVE damage reduction rolls since they're from the wrong game system.
Stranger: very true...
You: Three: Meteor Swarm.
Stranger: But Pikachu is from the game
Stranger: and OMG!-runs away-
You: BOOM!
You: ~Game Over~
You have disconnected.

[Jubal]

Return of the Omegle Dragon...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hello
You: HELLO.
Stranger: asl
You: I AM A DRAGON, ANCIENT AS THE HILLS, AND LIVING IN THE FAR OFF CAVES.
Stranger: So i'm talking to a dragon?
You: THAT WAS WHAT I SAID, YES.
Stranger: You got to be kidding me. Send me a picture of you pleeease
You: ...YOU KNOW, I'M PROBABLY TECHNICALLY SUPPOSED TO DEVOUR YOU AT THIS POINT.
You: I'M JUST NOT VERY GOOD AT BEING SCARY. :/
Stranger: S your a nice dragon?
You: WELL, IT MAY DEPEND HOW YOU DEFINE NICE. I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT TERRORISING PEOPLE, ANYWAY.
You: APPARENTLY "I WILL DEVOUR YOUR CORPSE LIGHTLY SEASONED WITH NUTMEG AND A SMALL BUT ELEGANT SALAD GARNISH!" ISN'T AS SCARY A LINE AS YOU MAY AT FIRST THINK.
Stranger: Well, nice dragon. I would like too let you know that you are speaking too a Admin of Omegle
Stranger: Congrats!:)
You: CAN I ASK, THEN... WOULD DEVOURING YOU GIVE ME ELDRITCH POWER AND CONTROL OVER THE WHOLE SITE?
Stranger: No, there are many Admins
Stranger: So you'ld have to find them all.
You: THAT'S A PITY.
You: THERE IS ONE WEBSITE I HAVE ELDRITCH POWER OVER, BUT IT'S NOT VERY BIG.
Stranger: Did you know that we are in a chatroom right now i can add as many strangers as i want. want me too add a few more people?
You: IF YOU WISH.
Stranger: Just don't say anything when they talk. Ill add 3 people
Stranger: ok?
You: I PROMISE NOT TO TALK. MIGHT EAT ONE IF THE CONVERSATION DRIES UP.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: here we go
Stranger: hi
Stranger: 14 f usq
Stranger: *usa
Stranger: i want horny girl with skype
Stranger: no
Stranger: hi
Stranger: i'll skype
Stranger: illeatuupiloveuso
Stranger: im male
Stranger: is it u r skype name/
Stranger: You are all in a chatroom with a admin. Be nice
Stranger: im m too
Stranger: NACHOS BITCHES
Stranger: I wanna skype with a girl, add me: illeatuupiloveuso
Stranger: just me and you now dragon
Stranger: lol
Stranger:
You: I COUNT THAT AS DRY CONVERSATION.

*CRUNCH* *Craccck!* *AAAAAAGH!* *CRUNCH*

OM NOM NOM. HUMANS ARE BORING.
You have disconnected.

[Jubal]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Hiya
You: HELLO.
Stranger: Baka
You: I'M TECHNICALLY SUPPOSED TO DEVOUR YOU AT THIS POINT, I THINK. I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS YET. :/
Stranger: What are you?
You: A DRAGON.
Stranger: Well, I'm a vampire
Stranger: do we taste good or you prefer somehting more human?
You: AH. PROBABLY NOT GREAT. I'LL SEE WHAT DELIA SAYS.
You: APPARENTLY YOU'D GIVE ME INDIGESTION AND AN OVERDOSE OF SANGUINITY.
Stranger: Heh
You: SO I THINK I'LL PASS ON THE EATING IF IT'S ALL THE SAME WITH YOU.
You: THOUGH WOULD YOU MIND ME ASKING YOU A QUESTION?
Stranger: Go ahead
You: I HAVE TO SHOUT OUT A MENACING LINE BEFORE DEVOURING A HERO AT SOME POINT SOON. I CAN'T DECIDE BETWEEN:
You: DURGAN! YOUR TIME HAS COME! I WILL DEVOUR YOUR CORPSE LIGHTLY SEASONED WITH NUTMEG AND OVEN-ROASTED FOR THREE HOURS TO BRING OUT THE SUCCULENT FLAVOUR!
You: AND
You: DURGAN! YOU DIE NOW! I SHALL BATHE IN YOUR BLOOD WITH SHOWER GEL, A NICE LOOFA, AND A RUBBER DUCK IF I CAN FIND WHERE IN MY HOARD DUCKIE WENT!
You: ...
You: WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Stranger: the former
You: YOU'RE SURE?
You: AND IS NUTMEG SCARY ENOUGH? WOULD PARSLEY BE SCARIER?
Stranger: nutmeg is fine enough
Stranger: besides, the second one makes you sound forgetfull, not going to strike fear so well
You: THAT'S TRUE. IF ONLY I KNEW WHERE DUCKIE WENT. :/
Stranger: You'll find it, things are never truely lost
You: I HOPE NOT.
You: ANYWAY, WHAT'S BEING A VAMPIRE LIKE FOR YOU?
You: ARE YOU STILL THERE? :/
You: AW MAN, EVERYBODY KEEPS RUNNING AWAY LATELY.
You: GOODBYE THEN, VAMPIRE.
You: I SUPPOSE I SHOULD GO EAT SOMEONE ELSE...
You have disconnected

.

[Gen_Glory]

you didn't find out if it was sparkly vampire!

[Jubal]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Arr!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: female or male?
You: I be a pirate!
Stranger: oł ; p
Stranger: I'm sorry ;]
Stranger: I'm a captian
You: I be that, as well.
Stranger: what is your ship?
You: The Exilian. And yers?
Stranger: the Black Pearl ; p
Stranger: Have you Artificial eye ?
Stranger: *do you have
You: Nay, on account of that I be not enough of a silly bastard to let someone poke mine out.
Stranger: ;c
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Remember, wannabe pirates:
Losing an eye, leg, or hand does not improve your street cred; it just shows you weren't good enough not to lose them in the first place. 

[debux]

Never thought of that

BTW, shouldn't you be studying?

[Jubal]

I did two maths papers yesterday and got 64/72 and 71/72 respectively as well, you know.