Would you rather?

[Jubal]

Water. Both by quantity and utility it's the stronger option I think.

If you had a companion who was an elemental, would you rather an argon or a sodium elemental?

[The Seamstress]

I'm embarassing myself with my nonexistent chemistry knowledge here, but from what I gathered online about argon & sodium I think I'll go for the argon. Seems a little less potentially lethal when exposed to the world

A secret society has advertised the following jobs:

1. Zookeeper - You're looking after their menagerie of more-or-less-dangerous cryptids, malevolent spirits, trapped demons, man-eating butterflies, and very cranky sentient giant potatoes. Work hours are Mo-Fri 8 pm to 5 am, in their secret dungeon, for a salary of 15€ per hour and a box of candy or chocolates at the end of every week. Other benefits include accident insurance and 4 weeks annual leave.
2. Magic Assistant - You help prepare and carry out magic rituals, such as hell-freezing, demon-trapping, sacrifices, initiation of new society members, séances, etc. You handle more-or-less-dangerous magic ingredients, equipment, and cursed objects, some of which might be angry. You have to stay in the room during the rituals in case anything happens requiring your assistance. Work hours are Mo-Sat 11 pm to 4 am, in the secret society's headquarters or occasionally outdoors at some magic location. You're expected to work overtime on Halloween. Salary is 25€ per hour, no other benefits but 5 weeks annual leave.

Would you rather apply for the job as zookeeper or as magic assistant?

[Jubal]

Zookeeper. Honestly it's the accident insurance that swings it, I think I'd need that in either job.

Would you rather have a sofa that was a transformed duck and occasionally quacked and needed feeding bread, or a toaster that was a transformed polar bear and occasionally roared, tried to hold onto the toast, or demanded to be put in the fridge for a bit?

[The Seamstress]

I guess the sofa would be less hassle, it could even be practical, swallowing up any accidental crumbs when I sit there while eating. Looks like a win-win situation for both duck-sofa and me.

You need a last-minute gift for a coworker's birthday, but the shop has only two options left: would you rather get them the 1,2 m tall garden gnome dressed like a thug, or the 10-volume complete edition of "Doctor Horsington B. Horsebottom's Encyclopaedia of Equestrian Elegance, for the Ambitious Horse and Their Owner, with 40 illustrations"?

[Jubal]

The Encyclopaedia, absolutely It sounds a lot more fun.

Would you rather dance like nobody's watching, or think to yourself "what a wonderful world"?

[The Seamstress]

"Thinking to myself" is more in line with my personality, generally.

Would you rather like to be able to talk with cats or with birds?

[Jubal]

With birds. There's a lot more diversity of them and a lot more of them in total, and they're somewhat more likely to have useful information given the aerial bit.

Would you rather have a personal assistant hired for you who can only do office tasks and paperwork, or a personal assistant hired for you who can only do household tasks (washing, cleaning, etc)? Assume you have to pay them nothing, and they can do up to 20h/week work with flexible timings Mon-Sat.

[The Seamstress]

Household tasks, definitely, because for me it's the more exhausting thing and it involves cleaning devices making annyoing noises I'd like to be able to avoid. Also if household stuff is piling up it's often quite visibly piling up, cluttering my space, leading to me feeling worse and even less motivated to do anything.

If you'd win a large enough sum of money to never have to work again, would you continue to live like normal or would you do something else?

[Jubal]

Hhm, a bit of both, which I guess doesn't fit the "would you rather" model well but: I'd like to keep a part-time academic job for academic access, but I'd spend a chunk of money on other people's time to help me with all sorts of things: research assistants, people to sort my paperwork, etc. And I'd probably start an actual little business/game studio to do my creative projects on a much more swish footing. And we'd have someone hired for an hour or two a week to help with running Exilian so I could finally not be feeling like I'm constantly failing to run everything here at once.

Would you rather never have to cut your nails again and have them always stay the ideal length, or gain immunity to bunions?

[The Seamstress]

Hm, given that no one in my family ever had or has bunions afaik, my risk of getting them is probably low. Whereas constantly having to cut your nails is annoying. If I'm able to choose what the ideal length is, then that would be one thing less to worry about, I guess.

Would you rather go skydiving or get a tattoo?

[Jubal]

Go skydiving, I'd hate either but skydiving absolutely ten times out of ten and a hundred times out of a hundred.

Would you rather bread or rice?

[The Seamstress]

Uh... pasta? But with only these two options: bread, simply because I have it more often than rice.

Would you rather live on a mountain or by the sea?

[Jubal]

Oh that's super difficult. I think the sea very marginally, but that might just be because I've been inland for too long and some part of my fenlander soul prefers the world a little less dry beneath my feat.

Would you rather: candles or battery-powered torches?

[The Seamstress]

Candles, preferably beeswax. (I just wish they were a little less expensive...)

Would you rather drink 2000 year old Roman wine found at some dig site, or drink a sickly-yellow magic potion of unknown origin?

[Jubal]

I'll go for the Roman wine. Fun thing to say I've done and the worst outcome is probably a stomach pumping. I don't mind magical experimentation but I don't want any random tentacles etc really.

Would you rather own a rather small woolly mammoth or an unusually large butterfly?