Omegle Lulz

[Jubal]

Omegle is a wierd site which essentially starts a convo like on MSN, but with a random stranger. This can lead to funny results...

These are my best thus far.

A McDonalds internet service goes wrong;

Spoiler

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hello this is mcdonald..can i take your order
You: Yes.
Stranger: order!!!
You: I order you to destroy your workplace
You: NOW!
Stranger: ok!
Stranger: bang!!
Stranger: boom!
Stranger: badaboom!!

Stranger: them my manager just fired me
You: And then go on a campaign of ultimate destruction until the whole chain has been wiped out!
You: Kill your manager! Go! McDonalds must perish!
You: MUAHAHAHAA!
Stranger: ok....Macself destruct activated
You: And i'll have fries with that, thanks.
Stranger: kabbbOOOOOOOM~~~~~~~~

You have disconnected.

And a gondorian knight discovers the power of Bricks;

Spoiler

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: HALLO
You: HAIL and well met!
Stranger: MY NAME NIGEL
Stranger: WHAT YOU NAME?
You: I am Melanor, servant of the White Tower.
Stranger: HALLO MELANOR SERVANT OF THE WHITE TOWER
Stranger: I AM BANKER
Stranger: I LIVE IN NIGERIA
Stranger: IS WHITE TOWER NICE?
You: It is the mightiest place of men, indeed!
Stranger: MY SON WENT THERE
Stranger: HE LOOK FOR JOB
Stranger: IS HE DOING WELL?
Stranger: YOU KNOW NIGEL JNR?
You: Alas, we have not met. I rarely am able to go there anymore, I work abroad mostly now.
Stranger: OH
Stranger: WHAT YOU DO ABROAD?
You: Search out the servants of the enemy, of course.
Stranger: WHO ENEMY?
You: And carry messages too secret for normal communication.
Stranger: YOU ATTACK NIGERIA?
You: Nope, definitely not Nigeria.
Stranger: GOOD
Stranger: WE NIGERIANS KILL YOU
Stranger: WITH BRICKS
You: Ever heard of Mordor? They keep attacking us.
Stranger: THAT SHAME
Stranger: WHERE ABOUTS ARE YOU ABROAD?
You: I am currently in the United Kingdom
Stranger: IS THAT NEAR NIGERIA?
You: No
You: It's far to the North
Stranger: GOOD
Stranger: WE DONT WANT VIOLENCE HERE
Stranger: WE BEAT VIOLENCE WITH BRICKS
You: Rest assured, if the Enemy threatens Nigeria at all we will help you as much as we can.
Stranger: THANK YOU
Stranger: NOW I CAN RETURN TO BEATING MY BUTLER
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Silver Wolf]

That brick guy is sooo funny ...      


It is hard to find someone who is funny... Everybody is asking about asl....So I always have to be the fun guy...
And by the way everyone is trying to find girls (and there are obviously no girls)... I mean what kind of loser do you have to be to search for girl on Omegle ??!!
LULZ ... You must read the red ones :

BORAT CONVERSATION

Spoiler

Stranger: hi
You: HI my name is BORAT...
You: I come from Kazahstan
Stranger: movie?
You: no movie
You: tv reporter
You: where do you come from?
Stranger: south korea U?
You: can you tell me where Pamela lives ?
You: Kazahstan I said
Stranger: Pamela?
You: Pamela Anderson?!!
Stranger: who?
You: The girl with big tits
Stranger: oh my
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Another MC Donalds conversation :

Spoiler

You: May i take you order ?
Stranger: OK
You: big mac with fries or chicken mc nuggets ?
Stranger: What about pink little head?
You: we don't sell that here ... You can find that around the corner
You: for 5$
Stranger: LOL~so,what you have for drink?
You: cola
You: cola
You: or cola
You: we ar out of sprite
You: out of fanta
You: and out of water
You: sorry
You: it's the result of financial crysis
Stranger: ar U employees form coke?
You: no... I'm from mc donalds
Stranger: oh ~nice to meet u!
You: Sir I'm here on bussines... I will take you order and you will have to leave
You: i've got kids to feed
You: eleven of them!
Stranger: I have 4 kids to surport
You: yeah I know how you feel
You: so...What's your order?
Stranger: we even cant afford humbergers..and milk..we only eat grass...
You: Why did you come to MCDonalds then ?
You: we only sell expensive food
You: and digestion problems
Stranger: can you tell me where are u come from?
You: just around the corner ... That's why I'm working here...
You: I could be a salesman in the grocery store you know.... But it's a long way to grocery store and i don't have a car
Stranger: what a poor man~I

[comrade_general]

Stranger: HEYOMG
You: OMG WUT?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

and i was left hangin

[Darkstar707]

Stranger: HEYOMG
You: OMG WUT?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

and i was left hangin

Denied.

DE - NIED

[comrade_general]

Stranger: i love jews
You: how come?
Stranger: they are green
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

i never knew that

[Bridgeburner]

i have to say i tried this twice and will not post the results as it will show aside of my personality i hide from people. It shoud be noted here that if  a stranger tells you to yourself with a barbed wire dildo it is more than likely me after someone offered to eat me...in the sexual way.

[Jubal]

NOTHING cannot be solved with enough gamers.

Spoiler

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: A WILD ABRA APPEARS
You: I've seen this one before.
Stranger: WILD ABRA USES TELEPORT
You: Hello, it's the third time today.
Stranger: WILD ABRA GOT AWAY!
You: Oh dear.
You: I take a .22 hunting rifle and shoot Abra.
Stranger: Bugger.
Stranger: Thanks for that, they're very rare.
Stranger: Not even Charizard can handle it.
You: Well why aren't they in the Endangered Species Act?
Stranger: They are, in Kanto.
You: Oh right. Crap, sorry for messing up the ecosystem.
Stranger: You better be. I'll never have an Alakazam now.
You: Oh sod it. *Reaches over to the world of HOMMV, gets a rebirth spell, resurrects Abra*
Stranger: There are many other options. Why, you have a phoenix down, gold orb, revive...
Stranger: But well done, maybe now I can catch the thing.
You: Yea, but In Heroes of Might and Magic I've got mana to burn, so hey.
Stranger: Well, if you have mana to burn then I suppose it's only fair.
You: Right, I'm just trying to find a game that has a suitable spell to catch the damn thing.
Stranger: OMNISLASH.
Stranger: Ohwait, I'm lacking a sword.
You: Don't worry, I've got a good one in Mount & Blade.
You: *Hands sword over*
Stranger: Oh, thanks! Now all I have to do is wander this tall grass for a while until I find it again.
You: Not if I do a flyover in Age of Empires edit mode.
You: It's a couple yeards behind that tree over there.
Stranger: Perfect!
Stranger: Maybe I can use cheat cose "DIEDIEDIE" to slay it automatically...
You: But then I wouldn't be able to use the giant Rome Total War cheat elephant I've got stored.
Stranger: Ohdear. I suppose elephants will always be useful. Maybe I can hack a Bioshock Big Daddy into this madness.
You: Oliphant, I choose you!
Stranger: Go, Extreme Charizard!
Stranger: Wild Abra used Psychic!
You: Ooh! I'll go for a HOMMV Iron Golem!
You: It;s a machine, psychic effects don't affect it.
Stranger: Did you say you have a Golem?! Score!
You: Indeed I do.
Stranger: I also have a Dragonite.
Stranger: And a shiny Master Chief.
You: Cool.
Stranger: Why yes, it is.
You: And the moral of the story is; if computer games work together, there is NOTHING that cannot be solved.
You have disconnected.

[Silver Wolf]

Lol ... Pokemon fans

Another Lotr conversation :

Spoiler

You: Hi are you from nigeria?
Stranger: no
You: too bad
You: they hit people with bricks
Stranger: that sounds like fun
You: even men from gondor
You: all they were doing was guarding the white tower and they were all bricked
Stranger: you cannot simply rock into mordor
You: but they can
You: their bricks are powerful
Stranger: damn they didn't thick about bricks in lotr movies bricks would've came in handy
You: watch out... A brick !!!! *wosshhh*
Stranger: ow!
You: that one was close
You: we need more brick warriors to win this war
Stranger: we also need more bricks
You: well they can summon bricks
You: magical elven bricks!
Stranger: gandalf
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Jubal]

Later the same day;

Spoiler

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: A WILD ABRA APPEARS.
You: Hi again!
You: This is time #5 btw.
Stranger: Ah.
You: The third one got posted on my website's funny Omegle hits section.
Stranger: You know, the best pokemon to use is Jigglypuff.
Stranger: Jigglypuff uses sing, Abra can't teleport.
Stranger: Pound until pokeball-able.
You: Indeed.
You: If iron golems have ears, do they count as being not immune to sing?
Stranger: Dunno.
Stranger: Well, I gotta have more wild Abras apear.
Stranger: I'll see you on the internets.
You: Fair do's
You: Have a good day.
Stranger: You too.
You: And look after that sword of mine
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Silver Wolf]

lol this guy guessed my birth date, I can believe that :

Spoiler

You: have you seen the aliens?
Stranger: yea
Stranger: i was abducted
You: where?
Stranger: AZ
You: and when?
Stranger: september 20 1992
You: ah ***t
You: i was born that day
You: and i'm not kidding
You: hehe
Stranger: yeah it was a crazy event
You: no mate..i'm not joking
Stranger: all i remeber was bright loud bang, then saw the creatures and woke up in my home.
Stranger: maybe we have to save the world. And one of use holds the key to human future
You: were you born that day?
Stranger: no
You: too bad
You: i am
You: maybe i'm the chosen one....
Stranger: are you from OZ
You: what?
Stranger: you used mate
You: what is OZ
Stranger: are you australian
You: nope
Stranger: i see
You: cool you actually guessed my birth date
You: how cool is that?

Lessons about corn :

Spoiler

Stranger: hi ily
You: so i heard you liek cornz?
Stranger: yup
You: good
Stranger: howd u know
You: they are healthy
Stranger: yezz
You: everybody likes corn!
You: that's how i know
Stranger: i like cornbread
You: that good also!
Stranger: yessss
You: cornfields are also cool
Stranger: i loves it with alls my hearts
Stranger: yes cornfields are great
You: and cornflakes
Stranger: i like to run around in them
Stranger: cornflakes are gross
You: well some of them are
You: but they are healthy !
Stranger: i like cherios better
Stranger: they kept me from gettin a stroke
You: but do they have any corn?
Stranger: yes they do
You: good... that's good to know
Stranger: if u believe just believe in your heart u will find they do
You: got to go ... remember corn is HEALTHY !
You have disconnected.

[comrade_general]

i met the abra guy lol

i should have saved this other one where i was watching family guy and peter said that brian knew meg's real father's name was stan thompson, so the very next person i talked to i asked what was meg's real father's name and she was able to answer correctly because she just saw that part too and we thought it was awesome and thats all we could talk about and we agreed to send the feedback to omegle about it and she was so excited she said she'd have performed certain acts of felatio and i said cool. the end.

[Silver Wolf]

Kangaroo conversation

Spoiler

You: so
You: are you going to post anything or are you going to sit like a mule?
Stranger: I like mules.
You: me too
You: xD
You: donkeys are also good
You: but they are stubbon
You: stubborn*
Stranger: Kangaroos are rad though.
Stranger: Donkeys are jackasses
You: yeah they jump to much
You: but they are delicious
Stranger: .....YOU EAT DONKEYS?!
Stranger: Ewwwwwww
You: no
You: i eat kangaroos
Stranger: OH!
Stranger: That makes more sense.
You: yep
You: they are tasty because they jump too much!
You: corn is also tasty
Stranger: Ewwwww Corn.
You: yeah corn
You: kangaroos like them
Stranger: .......How do you know that? I'm I talking to a kangaroo?
You: no
Stranger: Are you suuuuure?
You: i am the kangaroo wisperer
You: just like the horse wisperer
You: just with kangaroos
Stranger: ..........
Stranger: You talk to Kangaroos?!
You: yes I speak their language and i understand them
You: and they understand me
Stranger: Thay Speak??
Stranger: They*
You: yep
You: but only when I tell them to...
Stranger: Do they squeak?
You: They are smy soldiers....they are among the best kangaroo forces on whole wide world
You: they squeak when they are off duty
Stranger: DunDunDunDuuuuuuun.
Stranger: O.o
Stranger: I wanna kangaroo squeak to meeee.
You: buy one ant TRAIN him to do you bidding!
Stranger: Like take over the world!? Oo0o0o0o Ohkay!
You: if you train them well they will be ready to die for you!
Stranger: O:
You: my army is hungry.. i have to feed them ... bye!

Hehe 

Spoiler

Stranger: hey
You: hey
Stranger: finnally
Stranger: someone normal
You: so do you like corn?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Jubal]

Woe for the lack of appreciation of music...

Spoiler

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hello
You: Are you going to Scarborough fair?
Stranger: where are you from
Stranger: yes i am!
You: Remember me to one who lives there
You: For she wonce was a true love of mine
Stranger: oh k
Stranger: nice
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Spoiler

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: I wish I was back in Carrickfergus.
Stranger: whats keeping you
You: The sea is wide
You: And I cannae swin over
You: And neither have I wings to fly.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Spoiler

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Im keenan!!
You: Let it be
You: Let it be
Stranger: goos song
You: Whisper words of wisdom
You: Let it be
Stranger: let it be
Stranger: that i suck ur dick
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[comrade_general]

Hehe  

Spoiler: click to toggle

Stranger: hey
You: hey
Stranger: finnally
Stranger: someone normal
You: so do you like corn?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

i love messin things up  

[stormcloud]

lol found a cybersexer

Spoiler

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Hello, I am a 20 year old guy in the uk, I am looking for a nice girl to meet and talk with, if you aren't one - please disconnect now, if you are - Then please tell me your a.s.l - thank you sweetie!
You: hey
You: :|
You: disconnect yourself
You: :|
Stranger: make me
You: I shant, but if you don't you wont find a girl to cyber with
You: so there
Your conversational partner has disconnected.