Would you rather?

[Jubal]

Bread

Teapot or Teacup?

[The Seamstress]

Teacup.

Raise and train a battle pigeon or a battle blackbird (to go on adventures with you)?

[Jubal]

Battle pigeon. Heavier, scrappier, better eyesight resolution than a cat, will defy death for the promise of small quantities of junk food: the perfect warrior.

Hawk or Dove?

[The Seamstress]

Dove!

Exercise or exorcise?

[Son of the King]

Exercise, Lady Grey would never forgive me if I chased a demon away.

Flying like a bird, or swimming/diving ability like a fish?

[The Seamstress]

I think the flying would be more useful.

You're offered the leading role in a soap opera! Would you rather play 1) Frederick Fondoffood, the Canadian restaurant tycoon who is rumoured to have an affair with the mayor's third wife's cousin, which for some reason is a scandal, and who also is involved in sinister business operations threatening to destroy the planet; or will you be 2) Heinz-Ulrich Bankdirektorstellvertreter, a German immigrant who married into a wealthy American banker family but is actually an undercover cop working on a case of industrial espionage but secretly he's part of a cult worshipping a random guy named Edgar who claims to receive alien messages?

[Tusky]

Heinz-Ulrich Bankdirektorstellvertreter. I think my German accent might be slightly more convincing than my Canadian. Also undercover cop in a cult - might have more legs than someone who has had an affair and is involved in planet ending business. That screams classic baddy to be killed off.

Garlic or Ginger

[Jubal]

Garlic!

Bitterns or Egrets?

[Son of the King]

Bitterns.

Arctic terns or kittiwakes?

[Jubal]

Kittiwakes, it's such a nice word.

Opening or closing?

[The Seamstress]

Opening (?)

Camembert or gouda?

[Jubal]

Camembert in general though right now I would rather eat gouda.

English gets a new alphabet or English becomes right-branching (so adjectives all come after a noun not before)?

[Tusky]

Right branching I suppose. Updating all keyboards and updating books, software, signs and everything else feels like a big old faff

Pineapples or anchovies on a pizza?

[Jubal]

Anchovies, I like anchovies

Julian the Apostate or Magnentius?

[The Seamstress]

I don't know anything about either of them so I'll just go with the almost-namesake Julian the Apostate.

Video game or board game?