Would you rather?

[Jubal]

Ooh. I've not actually been to either. I think I'll go with Paris.

Ljubljana or Bratislava?

[Tusky]

I've been to Ljubljana and had a great time, so I will choose Bratislava for something different.

Be able to sing like an opera singer or dance like Fred Astaire

[Jubal]

Dance, I think. Opera isn't my genre and my singing voice is passable for what I need it for, whereas the dancing would be a good party trick.

Be followed by a cloud of friendly butterflies or a cloud of friendly bees?

[Othko97]

Friendly bees, it'll be one more step toward my life's goal of becoming Beorn.

Be a hobbit, or be an elf?

[Jubal]

Hmm, that's actually quite difficult. I think on balance I'd be a hobbit, but it's close: being an elf would mean I wouldn't have to worry about not having enough time to get everything done in life, given the immortality bit, but at the same time I think the less human nature of them doesn't appeal to me.

Fight with a spear or with a staff?

[Pentagathus]

Spear if I'm unlikely to have legal repercussions, maybe staff if I am, or if I have other reasons to avoid fatalateeeeeees. Spears have sharp stabby ends you see.

Oin or Gloin?

[Jubal]

Shocked by the revelation that spears have stabby ends! I will pick Oin, because he had the unhappier ending and I feel sorry for him.

A world in which Covid no longer exists and nor do any alcoholic beverages, or a world that retains both Covid and booze?

[Anonyman]

I'm very much not a fan of Covid, so I think I'd regrettably have to take the alcoholic beverages down with it (as sad as that would make me).

A choice between some animals that always give off the impression of having a good time: capybaras or quokkas?

[Jubal]

Capybaras seem more chill, I'd feel I was depressing a quokka with its manic smile whereas a capybara seems like it would just quietly understand.

Bandits or ravenous wolves?

[Tusky]

Bandits. I think I would stand more of a chance with them.

count your chickens before they hatch or cry over spilt milk?

[Jubal]

Count my chickens, if I'm wrong I miscounted, and I don't have any spilt milk to clear up.

Hear a tale told by an idiot, or one full of sound and fury, signifying nothing?

[Tusky]

I think the tale full of sound and fury sounds like fun, I'll choose that.

Brown mushy snow or that really heavy fog that makes all your clothes damp?

[Jubal]

The fog, just because I loathe brown snow.

Go to Dushanbe or go to Norwich?

[The Seamstress]

Norwich. Less people.

Would you rather be cursed by a mummy or by a witch?

[Jubal]

I think I have to go with the Witch: she's far more likely to be persuadable to lift the curse again, and far more likely to have a language in common with me to begin with, whereas the Mummy poses a much bigger challenge on both fronts.

Would you rather become modestly proficient at a randomly selected Olympic sport, or at a randomly selected circus skill?