Author Topic: Khans Poems  (Read 6058 times)

Cuddly Khan

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Khans Poems
« on: October 08, 2011, 08:42:07 AM »
I do a bit of poetry... Maybe this will encourage me to do more.
My first one I did... while it was raining XD

The Forest

It's so relaxing; the feel of water from a shallow, fast running river over my bare, submerged feet, the safe feeling of the forest in a million shades of green.

It's so sweet; the smell of rain as the clouds empty themselves onto the earth, the sound of rain drops on the surface of the wide, beautiful river as if the water was alive and enchanted.

It's so colourful; the many flowers on the far river bank so alive with colour more numerous than the colours of a rainbow, the different birds jumping from tree to tree as their wings flapping so fast it’s just a blur.

It's so peaceful; the feel of grass on my hands as I lean back on my arms to rest my tiered muscles after a long restless day, the drips of rain water running down the side of my face as I slowly put my head back to face the sky.

It's so illuminating; the bright light of my lantern as it slowly runs out of oil and dims with every minute, the fading light of the red, orange and pink twilight as the clouds clear to reveal the sun retreating over the far horizon.

It's so calm; the sound of the crickets chirping as they wake up to the dark night, the cold breeze running through my hair as slightly moves and quivers side to side.

It's so wonderful; the sound of the millions of bugs and insects as they wake up to the falling sun, the sound of the green frogs in the wet grass as they croak into the night.

It's so relaxing; the forest.
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Jubal

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2011, 05:45:34 PM »
It's nice stuff, good imagery.

Try paying a little less attention to grammar: your starting phrases would be harder hitting if they didn't have the "so" in, I suspect.

Be nice to see more.  :)
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Cuddly Khan

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2011, 08:59:36 PM »
Thanks for the advise. I will try to put another one up on Saturday... which to you would be Friday I think.
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Cuddly Khan

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2011, 07:42:06 AM »
Sorry. Was a bit late, wasn't I. Here it is than.

Dust to Mountains

I've seen high mountains
Wash away.
As they fall, so rise another day

Flesh fades to bone,
Bone back to dust
The sharpest blades, give way to rust.

Nations rise
And kingdoms fall
And rise again built strong and tall.

Light dims and dies,
And the night falls down.
The cursed name called with great renown.

Yet my time flows on
Amidst this waste
And the death I've seen I'll never taste.
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Ladyhawk

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #4 on: October 27, 2011, 08:23:06 AM »
Thats very good :) Well done buddy.
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Jubal

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2011, 02:04:06 PM »
That's excellent, I'd say much better than the previous one - the imagery is more concise and tighter, with less suprfluous wording. Try writing a few pieces with a definite rythmic pattern at sopme point - that will help make your words flow in a more poetic fashion.

Really nice stuff.  :)
The duke, the wanderer, the philosopher, the mariner, the warrior, the strategist, the storyteller, the wizard, the wayfarer...

Andalus

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2011, 07:41:15 PM »
Yep, I like it too. It reads much more poetically, whereas the other was quite prosey.
One minor technical point - you don't really need a comma after "blades". ;)

I like the 3rd line of the 4th stanza - it gives a sense of scale to the subject. Mountains washing away is something people can't really comprehend, but the "cursed name called with great renown" is something that can make them think. About the title - might "Mountains to Dust" be better? It would seem more appropriate, in my opinion.



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Cuddly Khan

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2011, 07:55:27 AM »
"Nations rise
And kingdoms fall
And rise again built strong and tall."

No because they rise again. :) They don't stay dust. Think about it. ;D
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Andalus

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2011, 10:51:08 AM »
Fair enough.
Du bist kein Schmetterling! Du bist nur eine kleine Raupe in Verkleidung!

Cuddly Khan

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2011, 11:16:48 AM »
Just thought this up today. :) (BTW I do have friends)

Does anybody notice
When I'm mad
Do they care
When I'm sad

Do they worry
To see me cry
They just ignore me
I don't know why
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Cuddly Khan

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #10 on: October 22, 2012, 11:48:34 AM »
Abut time for another one? Here it is. :P

That Feeling
When you get that feeling,
That you are all alone,
Everyone's around you,
But you're on your own.
 
The feeling of Emptiness
A sorrowful pain
That no one cares
And your heart feels slain
 
Have you seen in envy?
Have you seen its face?
Do you know what it is,
That feels like an empty space?

Is it that feeling of being alone,
That feeling that you're not noticed
That feeling of being on your own
That feeling that you're losing a race
« Last Edit: October 22, 2012, 11:58:18 AM by The Khan »
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Cuddly Khan

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #11 on: November 23, 2012, 08:31:51 AM »
I've been busy. :)


Once Again

 What is it if it's not what I think it is?
 Does it exist or is it just a thought?
 How can it be or is it not this?
 Or does my heart just need to be taught?

 I thought it was gone, but is it back?
 Did I find it or did it find me?
 Is there something that I lack?
 Is it something that I just can't see?

 Where did it go in the end?
 When did it return?
 Is it the real thing?
 Will my heart ever learn?
Most effective elected official. Ever. (not counting Jubal)

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Cuddly Khan

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #12 on: November 23, 2012, 08:32:58 AM »
The Wind

What is it about the wind?
Why does the sea call as it does?
When we go to our beds at night,
Will we dream of where the wind goes?

We squander about our lives,
As the breeze goes about it's day,
Not caring for our strife,
Just going on it's way.

When a sailor tries to brave the sea,
The wind will be there guiding his ship.
To the end of the ocean, 'twill take him,
and back again for a round trip.

Back home they come,
All in glory and fame,
The sailors of today,
Too many to name.
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Cuddly Khan

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #13 on: November 25, 2012, 08:01:12 AM »
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. ~ Albert Einstein

Questionable Universe

Why does the world turn,
Just to face the same way again?
Something that's so big,
Yet still fits inside a picture frame.

Is there just no end,
To the extent of the universe?
Is the slowness of time,
All just a cruel curse?

Before we know it,
The future will be here.
Will we be ready,
When the end is near?

How far away,
Is the brightest star?
Will we ever accept,
That it's just too far?
« Last Edit: November 25, 2012, 09:25:33 AM by The Khan »
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Cuddly Khan

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Re: Khans Poems
« Reply #14 on: November 25, 2012, 08:05:09 AM »
Not much to look at really. Not one of my best. The first bit I wrote a few months ago. The second bit a few days ago.

Today, Tomorrow

Today, tomorrow
It's all filled with sorrow
In the end
We all just pretend
Not to be sad
And just to be glad
But then there are those that are mad

They try to bring you down
As if they think they wear a crown
They take away from your confidence
They tear down your defense
And they don’t know
That even though you pretend, it will show
So we must go
And forgive and forget
« Last Edit: November 25, 2012, 08:07:08 AM by The Khan »
Most effective elected official. Ever. (not counting Jubal)

He is Jubal the modder, Jubal the wayfarer, Jubal the admin. And he has come to me now, at the turning of the tide.