Spoil a wish

[Jubal]

You can see through walls. Walls are invisible to you. This includes cell walls so humans and plants look deeply weird and rather horrifying. You end up dying young of concussions from walking into walls you didn't realise were there.

I wish people who spend a lot of time being needlessly bigoted would all get a better hobby.

[The Seamstress]

I wish people who spend a lot of time being needlessly bigoted would all get a better hobby.

I wish they'd do that, too. How about scuba diving near some remote uninhabited island. Maybe if we both wish it it'll come true. No spoiling today.


I wish for more courage and good things to come.

[Tusky]

You now have oodles of courage! And many good things are yet to come! However you have stolen the courage and good things energy from a small alien insect in a far flung galaxy. It gets meekly eaten by a Horned Gerbunctufage.

I wish that I could instantly change the colour of my irises to any other colour and back again whenever I wanted

[Jubal]

You can change the colour of your irises to anoother colour! However, this is done by social engineering rather than chemistry, so actually everyone just redefines what colour your irises are to now mean whatever colour you wanted and vice versa. This also means that every time you do it, lots of people get confused because all their colour definitions are now wrong and the number of misread medical charts, road signs, etc make it more trouble than it's worth to use your newfound power.

I wish I could have my own train carriage, outfitted comfortably with snacks and a bed and stuff, for any long journey I needed to make.

[The Seamstress]

You have your own train carriage! Unfortunately you don't have a train engine, so you don't get anywhere.

I wish I could teleport to wherever I want to go.

[Jubal]

You can teleport wherever you want to go! You are immediately kidnapped by the military and forced to use this power for espionage.

I wish I could immediately resolve any domestic disputes involving my friends and family.

[The Seamstress]

You can immediately resolve domestic disputes involving your friends and family. But from now on you can't resolve anything else ever again. Because wombats.

I wish I had more motivation to cook actual healthy meals instead of eating random weird stuff for dinner.

[Jubal]

You have infinite motivation to cook healthy food, to the point that it becomes a life consuming obsession and tou go bankrupt buying healthy but expe ingredients.

I wish I was a sanderling

[The Seamstress]

You are a sanderling! You're still human inside though, so eating worms and other insect matter is rather unpleasant.

I wish my sleep schedule wasn't so messed up.

[Jubal]

Your sleep schedule is now totally tidy and utterly rigid, so if you attempt to stay awake past 11pm you just immediately fall asleep doing whatever you were doing. This causes quite a number of accidents and embarrassments.

I wish I had more energy for helping friends with stuff.

[The Seamstress]

You have more energy for helping friends with stuff. This leaves no energy for your own stuff. You turn into a blob.

I wish I had a bathtub.

[Jubal]

You have a bathtub! It is just a single full-size tub, with no plughole or plumbing. This is actually quite impractical for having baths in, given it's too heavy to move when full.

I wish the food app people hadn't stolen my money and delivered only LIES when they promised PIZZA.

[The Seamstress]

The food app people deliver PIZZA instead of LIES. They still manage to mess up your order though and so you get pizza with potatoes, chickpeas, and half a ton of artificial strawberry flavouring on it.

I wish the bunnies would eat their hay where they're supposed to eat it and not spread it everywhere.